AN: Thank you to casper22, Libragen, the Guest who I shall (unfortunately) never know, and the Misterious E (with a very colorful review :p) for all of your reviews! I loved and appreciated them all, and it is for you that this early chapter is dedicated.
Happy Fourth of July everyone! I would like to ask, especially considering the content of this story, that you take a moment to appreciate those who continue to fight and risk their lives so that we can keep celebrating this holiday and what it represents. For those of you not American natives, it is still the 4th, so happy fourth!
Hope you enjoy :)
Chapter 9
Moving Forward
"I've told you a million times already, I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yes! It's just a scratch. I'll be fine."
"It's a lot deeper than 'just a scratch', Walt."
"Since when did you become a doctor?" he grumbled as he moved down from the gun where I'd made him stand so I could better inspect his wound. He sat down beside me, Trombley having gotten out pretty much the moment we'd stopped for the night.
"I have a little experience of my own," I grinned up at him.
He shifted back so that he was leaning against the door with his body turned towards me, and his demeanor reflecting that of a petulant child. His expression softened just a bit, however, at my words. "Yeah... how are you doin'?"
I shook my head. "I was just teasing, Walt. I'm fine. Mostly just sore. You sure you'll be OK?"
He nodded, rolling his eyes as he answered. "You worry too much. You always been like this?"
I shrugged. "I guess... I just don't like to see my friends hurt, that's all."
"You get into trouble a lot? With what you do?"
I smiled briefly up at him. "Not if we do it right."
"So this last job you were on..." he said, leaving the end of the sentence open.
I sighed, tearing my gaze away from his. "Pretty obvious it didn't go according to plan, isn't it?"
"But that guy you said you were with, your partner? He get away?"
A sad smile touched my lips. "I'd like to think so."
Walt shifted forward slightly. "What happened to you?" he asked after a short pause.
I finally turned to look up at him, my eyes meeting his bright, ever-curious ones. "Walt, I—"
"Hey, make sure you get some shut-eye," Fick nodded to Walt as he walked by. "We need everybody up and at their best tomorrow night."
"Sure thing Lieutenant," Walt nodded.
"I'll let you get some sleep," I said as I slipped out of the Humvee so that he could stretch out in the back, closing the door behind me.
"Sam, I—"
"Goodnight Walt." I flashed him a smile before turning and pressing my back against the side of the vehicle. I heard his sigh as he resigned to do as he was told and lay back across the seats.
I slowly slid down the side until I was sitting on the ground, leaning back against the door. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to suppress the shiver that ran down my spine. Since the sun went down, it was getting progressively colder. I'd noticed over the past couple of days that the temperature had been dropping a little more every night. Since I had little more than a short-sleeved shirt to cover me, I was beginning to worry.
I let these thoughts drift to the back of my mind as I, too, attempted to sleep. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, allowing myself to drift into an uneasy sleep. However, it didn't take long for the freezing night air to burn against my skin and wake me up.
"Shit," I cursed as I tried to move. I hadn't realized how stiff my joints were. I gently tried to pull myself up but quickly gave up on that venture when both my arm and leg protested, a throbbing ache radiating from both of them. Thankfully, no pain accompanied it, and I found myself glad that I'd gotten drugs from Doc earlier.
I sighed and resigned to stay where I was. I idly wondered what time it was and cursed the fact that I didn't have a watch. It was still pitch-black outside and even colder than before.
I crossed my arms over my chest and drew my knees up in an attempt to preserve precious body heat. As the winds picked up, goose bumps spread across my skin. I began to shiver uncontrollably, causing pain to shoot through my leg with each jerky movement, making me regret not asking for him to treat the wound on my leg along with my shoulder. I bit my lip hard, trying to ignore the pain and focus on even the smallest feeling of warmth.
A languid sigh passed my lips as I felt some kind of stiff fabric envelope me in warmth. I leaned back against the vehicle and slowly opened my eyes, staring up at none other than Brad. He was staring back at me with a blank expression, though his eyes held a hint of amusement. As I looked at him I noticed he was no longer wearing his jacket and quickly realized that that was what was now keeping me warm.
"What is this for?" I began in a soft, fatigued voice.
"You looked like you needed it."
"No," I shook my head, pulling it off and holding it up to him, "you take it. You need it more than I do."
He shook his head as he turned and sat down next to me. "No, keep it. I'll be fine."
I looked over at him warily as he leaned his head back against the door. My eyes traveled over his exposed arms, which had just begun to show the beginnings of goose bumps.
"No, I won't have you freezing to death out here," I shook my head. I took off his jacket and looked up at him, a sly grin forming on my lips as an idea formed inside my head. I moved over to him and I threw my leg over his, settling myself into his lap. I spread the jacket out over my back and laid against his chest so that the jacket would be covering both our exposed top halves.
"There," I sighed, wrapping my arms around his waist, "now we're both covered."
I could feel his chest rise and fall with laughter, allowing the corners of my lips to turn up slightly. Thank God I mused internally. The gesture was either hit or miss—either he'd be amused by it, or kill me for it. I was glad it turned out to be the former.
"You're a very resourceful young woman." I felt his arms slip fully beneath the jacket and wrap themselves around my waist. "I'm pretty sure you're keeping me warmer than the jacket was, anyways."
"Glad to know I'm of some use," I mumbled against his chest.
"Yeah, you have kind of been dead weight."
I lightly hit his side, once again feeling his laughter through his chest. "Really? Even after today, you still think I'm dead weight?"
I could feel him shrug against me. "I'm sure we would have made it out without you."
"Oh, I severely doubt that, Colbert," I said as I pushed myself up so that I could look down at him. "Without me, you guys would have been gunned down back there, completely helpless."
"Is that so?" he said, tilting his head to the side and raising an eyebrow. "Well then, aren't we just the luckiest bunch of Marines out here to have such a perceptive CIA operative on our team."
My smile faltered subtly as he said that, but I didn't give him time to notice. "I do believe you are."
"Good to see you're in a better spirit," he commented dryly.
I tilted my head to the side slightly, furrowing my brow in confusion. "From what?"
"The attack, a few days ago," he replied, his voice reserved.
Oh yeah, I thought to myself, that. I closed my eyes, trying to forget the memories of that day, of what had happened. Yet, as I tried to keep those memories from resurfacing, my thoughts drifted to the fight we'd had just a few days before. I felt my stomach churn as the harsh words I'd said to him, especially the accusation I'd made basically calling him heartless, replayed in my head. I knew I had to apologize. Every fiber in my being was screaming at me to do so, but some small part of my subconscious held me back, worried that if I brought it up now it would ruin this very rare moment when we weren't at each other's throats.
Even with this thought in mind, I knew I had to do it. Building up every ounce of courage I possessed, and shoving that little inkling to the far corners of my mind, I willed myself to say it.
"I'm sorry."
My eyes opened wide and I sat back, staring up at him in silent surprise. Why was he apologizing? "Wh-what? Why? For what?"
"What I said to you the other day. I didn't mean to rile you up like that." He paused before looking up at me. "It wasn't my place to assume I know what you've gone through."
Well, this was a surprise. It took a moment to recover from this sudden turn of events and recollect my thoughts before I was able to reply. "Brad, you shouldn't be the one apologizing. You know you shouldn't be, so I have no idea why you are."
"Because I owe you an apology," he said matter-of-factly. "After what had happened, you were—"
I held my hand up to stop him. "Don't," I shook my head. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I had no right to attack you like that. It was way out of line, and you were just trying to help."
"Didn't do a very good job, did I?"
A small smile pulled at the corner of my lips. "It's not like I blame you. You're a marine." I sat up, squaring my shoulders, "Force Reconnaissance Marine," I said in my best impersonation of Ray, managing to pull an amused smile from him. "It's not exactly in your repertoire. I don't think warm and fuzzy feelings are part of the Marine Corps training regimen."
A smile lingered on his lips for a moment before slowly fading, his face darkening into an emotion I couldn't decipher.
"Do you honestly believe I've lost all remnants of my emotions?"
Well, I definitely wasn't expecting that question. I tore my eyes away from his, staring down at my hands resting at his waist. "Brad... Look, I was really angry. I was just saying those things because..." Because I wanted someone else to be in as much pain as I was, and you seemed like you hadn't been affected at all. I closed my eyes, unable to say what I was thinking out loud. "No, Brad, I don't," I shook my head, finally able to look back up at him. "I saw that, with how you were with Nazan, I saw how much you cared—"
I stopped suddenly when I saw his eyes flash with anger and what looked like a hint of pain. As my blue eyes stared into his, it was as if the tide had let out, and suddenly it all became clear. I remembered him talking about being back in Afghanistan, how he was with the kids, and how it was here. For a fleeting moment, as I stared into his eyes, it was as if I was looking straight through him. That's why he was so calm, why he's so detached from all of this. It's how he deals with it, with everything he's seen and done. The further you distance yourself from the flame, the less likely you are to get burned. The words my father had said to me so long ago suddenly flooded my thoughts as I stared at this man.
"Brad." The whispered word left my lips before I realized it had.
Slowly, I reached my hand up towards his cheek, but felt his wrap around my wrist, halting its ascent. "Don't," he said, his tone reflecting mine from nights before. He closed his eyes and let my hand fall from his grasp. "Just... don't."
I sat back, looking down at my hands that were once again resting on his abdomen. I wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him from the pain I knew he held inside, but held back.
"You know... you were mostly right," I began in a quiet voice, breaking the silence that had fallen between us.
"About?" he asked, his voice now taking on a curious tone.
"Those things you said the other day, about me, about what I do..." I took a deep breath. "You were right." There. I said it. I admitted that I was wrong, and as much as I hated it, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
I peeked up at him, expecting a grin to be spread across his face, but was pleasantly surprised to see there wasn't one. "What? No gloating?"
A ghost of a smile touched his lips as he shook his head. "How about, from now, we don't assume we know what the other person's gone through. Agreed?"
I returned his smile, feeling the mood between us lift considerably. "Agreed."
The weight of the past couple of days suddenly hit me hard, and the fatigue from lack of sleep began pulling me down. I laid down against his chest, resting my head on his shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him once more. "What are you doing up anyways?"
I felt him shrug against me. "Couldn't sleep."
"Well, go to sleep," I mumbled softly. "From what I hear, you're going to need it."
I felt him pull the jacket up over us once more before wrapping his arms around me. "Yes ma'am."
The corners of my lips pulled up into a small smile as I finally drifted away into a warm, restful sleep.
