It's the same as usual; there's a stack of empty paperwork to his right, a mug of tea on his left, and a small, red headed soldier sitting in front of him. The full moon shines brightly through the open window, and a cool breeze drafts into the room. It's a pleasant feeling compared to the stifling heat they've had to train in these past few days. Unpleasantly, an open window at night seems to be inviting to mosquitos and flies and other pests, which he keeps batting away from his head. Petra had tried swatting a particularly nasty, fat one with a rolled up paper, and whacked him instead by accident. So when one buzzed near her face, he went at it with a paper as well. Coincidentally, he missed and hit her, which apparently hurt quite a bit because his force was far stronger than hers. Also, he missed the bug. Mainly because it wasn't anywhere near her head and his eyes had 'mistaken' a piece of lint for a mosquito.

It's a very normal night. But the letter sitting in his desk drawer, marked Petra Ral and stamped with the official seal of the goddess Sina, seems to taunt him and tell him that it's going to turn out far different than usual.

"Here." He says gruffly, dropping it on the paper she's working on. It won't be put off any longer. "It's from the capitol."

Petra stares at it for a moment, her brows knotted in confusion. "From the capitol?"

He shrugs, sipping from his tea like it's not his concern. Because it isn't, not really.

At the same time it's been the only thing on his mind since he received the damn letter. He knew exactly what was in it.

Maintaining a bored, disinterested expression is tougher than he thought as he watches her slice open the envelope, careful not to disturb the tidy seal, and eases the paper out. Her eyes scan over the paper and a mix of expressions pass over her face. Shock, disbelief, surprise, happiness. He hates that his heart clenches at the sight of it.

"It's...I'm eligible to be a citizen of the interior. They're offering me citizenship." Petra says in wonder, eyes glued to the letter.

"Mm. For your military accomplishments." Levi quotes from memory. He's received more than one in the past few years. She tears her eyes away from the letter for a moment, eyes wide.

"You've received this?"

Again, he shrugs.

Of course he has. The title of Humanity's Strongest had its perks. Although he ultimately decided there were more downsides than upsides to that shitty moniker, receiving a letter informing him that he would be awarded citizenship in the interior for the first time had amazed him. In the underground, it was every kid's dream to be able to escape to sunlight and fresh air. To think; the half-assed dream he had when he was a child was coming true, decades later.

Then he thought about it some more. The concept of this 'award.' Rich assholes born into luxury sat on their fat asses all day and did nothing but shovel overpriced food into their mouths while hundreds of kids struggled and fought and killed under their feet. And they didn't fucking care. The government didn't either. Just more mouths to feed. Just more lives that they wished they could send beyond the wall on another doomed expedition.

They only cared when soldiers risked their lives for them and lived. Achieved. Excelled. The poor only had to risk their lives to be able to feed their families. The poor, puny lives that meant nothing to pigs. As a reward, come recline in the interior. Brush shoulders with those rich assholes who didn't give a fuck about those who died. Fuck all the years of training and fighting and comrades who slid down Titan's throats, right? There was no reward, no sympathy for them.

He didn't have anything waiting for him on the interior. His friends were dead. He had no family, no familiarity. The only things he was familiar with was the wings of freedom on his back, his blades glinting in his hands. Erwin understood, even if he said that he wouldn't blame Levi for leaving. Honorable discharge.

He tossed the damn letter into the funeral pyre along with his dead comrades.

Levi couldn't abandon the Legion. He owed Erwin everything he had.

Including the soldier sitting in front of him.

"Oh, wow." Petra breathes. She holds the letter closer to the candlelight and reads it again, and again. "Have the rest of the squad received this?"

"Gunther and Erd have. I expect Auruo would get his soon."

"And they...turned it down?"

"Guess so." He gazes out the window, averting his eyes from her. "Citizenship doesn't guarantee property inside. Doesn't count for family members either, except for legal spouses." That little detail never mattered to him. But Petra had her beloved father.

"If you decide to go," Levi begins, fixating on her right eyebrow so her captivating eyes wouldn't make him falter. "You'll have an honourable discharge. No one will blame you."

"If I go," Petra repeats softly. He can feel her leg jiggling under the table, knocking into the desk and making it shake; a telltale sign she's unsure, nervous. She catches his eye, and it feels like she's staring straight into his soul, rummaging around in his brain and getting a glimpse at the traitorous feelings he shouldn't be feeling for her but he has them anyway and they make them want to punch himself. "Do you want me to go, Captain?"

Does he want her to go?

Fuck yes. He would choose, a million times over, to have her safe inside the Walls, miles away from the blood and terror of the Survey Corps. So whenever she shot into the air he wouldn't feel fear grip his heart in an iron grip. He wouldn't feel like a piece of shit whenever he gave her the impression he didn't believe in her capabilities as a soldier, all because his inappropriate feelings automatically placed her as far away from danger as he could.

The interior was the perfect place for a woman as soft, kind and forgiving as her. It was different from the men. For Gunther and Erd, it would be extremely difficult to find employment there. They were strengthened from military training; the only thing they had ever trained for, leaving school early to enlist. That strength would only bring in labour work, where the pay was shit. They could never support a proper family on that. But Petra… a woman like her had so many options in the interior. As a shop girl. She was personable, friendly and warm. A barmaid. Or even a wife to some lord's dressy, preening son. She had the beauty to get any man she wanted.

The thought made him want to throw up. But he would've seen her married to any other man as long as she was safe and alive behind the Walls.

And yet…

How could he be praying that he wanted her to leave when he knew he wouldn't be able to fill the giant void in his squad? He wouldn't be able to see her every morning, fresh and bright with a cup of coffee for him. The sun would halo her hair and make her look like a fucking angel and he unconsciously found himself wanting to see her like that before the sun rose higher into the sky. Her sunny laughter, her dedication, her unparalleled skill, her teamwork. Her soft brushes on his arm, her willfulness and hard work. The paperwork would suck without her help.

He would miss the fuck out of her if she left. Wonder if she would forget about him. Though that would probably be a blessing for her.

Selfless or selfish. It didn't matter what he wanted for her. It was her decision alone and he wouldn't be a monster like the ones they fought to take that right away from her.

"That's not my decision to make." Is all he says instead. "It's all yours, Petra."

With that, he rises from his desk, ready to retire for the night. The stack of paperwork remains unfinished, but he can't bring himself to complete it right now. "Lock up when you're done."

He leaves her alone in his office with a pen and a candle and a big, big decision to make.


"Good morning, Captain." Petra chirps. The rest of the squad hasn't risen yet, and like always, he found himself rising earlier to see the sunlight around her ginger hair. He only nods in reply, seating himself at a table to finish off the paperwork he neglected last night.

Silently, she slides into the seat next to him, passing him a steaming cup. In her hand is the letter, along with an empty sheet of paper and a pen.

His stupid fucking heart sinks and soars at the same time. If he could, he'd rip it out of his chest and crush it under his boot.

Unable to concentrate on his work, he pretends to be engrossed in a performance report question, silently waiting for her 'official' answer.

Petra stretches out her arms, unaware of his internal struggle. Takes a sip of her coffee, twirls the pen in her hand. Relaxed as can be. She can afford to be, now that she's going to be carted off to the interior to live a comfortable life far away from death, get married to a weakling lord's son, have his brats-

"I'm staying." Petra says simply, as if commenting on the weather. She pulls out her pen and writes Dear Father on the top of her empty page.

Levi blinks. He's not surprised often because he hates the feeling of being taken aback; it's just another weakness for his enemies to exploit, so he thinks of every possible way out of a situation. But by the three goddesses, even a blind man would've seen this coming. Stupid comparison, because he was blinded by his feelings. He's an idiot, didn't even consider the fact she would be far more likely to stay than up and leave her family. Obviously. She's Petra. There's no way she would ditch them for a comfy life on the interior. If she wanted a life like that she would've stayed behind Wall Rose in the first place.

There's a small, selfish swell of relief in his chest, but it's overshadowed by the desire to order her to leave and keep herself safe, and he's not even sure if it's for her wellbeing or his. Selfish bastard.

He doesn't let on that any of this is going on in his mind. Keeping his face neutral, he nods and tells her that he'll inform the higher-ups of her decision. Like he did with Erd and Gunther. Short and to the point, the way a captain should speak to his subordinates.

Petra smiles at him, that grin that lights up the entire room. "It didn't take me long to decide." She says. "I remembered that Auruo owes me a bit of money because I beat his ass in sparring the other day. Can't collect that if I'm all the way in Sina, can I?"

The letter dances in her hand and she studies it for a moment, igoring his silence. "Besides," She crumples it and chucks it into the bin with light fingers. "No matter how amazing the interior is, there are certain things I can't get there that make my life so enjoyable here."

Petra looks at him as she says it. He can't make that up, she's staring at him with her warm, beautiful eyes, leaning closer slightly and fuck what he said about not getting surprised because even he couldn't have predicted this.

Footsteps sound towards the hall and he jerks away from her as Erd and Auruo bound into the mess hall, arguing about something dumb. Petra smiles at them, rising to make coffee, and the day continues on as usual, as if that moment didn't happen at all. But you'd have to kill him to get him to forget about the warmth of her breath on his face, the flecks of gold in her amber eyes, the clean scent of her hair or the way her lips parted slightly, as if she was about to give him a secret whisper of a kiss.


a/n: i was rewatching season 1 and 2 so i could remember what led up to season 3, and during the mid-break ad things, currently discloseable information part, it said that sina citizenship could be gained through military achievements. so yeah thats where this came from.

i've been swamped with schoolwork and work work for the past week or so, hence why updates have slowed slightly. i'll try to continue updating this story regularly enough! if you're waiting for an update on my new story, i'll try hard to get the next chapter out as soon as i can; i've had a major block writing it, but we're getting there.

thanks for reading!