I KNOW, I KNOW. I just got my computer back fully, though, and I've been working on the revamp. I can tell you that the chapter in which Fai breaks his arm is changing A LOT. Sorry, but that was SO ooc to me. I can't stand it.

Hope this is okay. I added a twist. *GASP*

And Fai in skinnies! =3 YUM!

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"I can't believe you," growled Kurogane, twitching a bit.

There stood the blonde, decked in a pure white, dove-tailed suite complete with a large, drooping bow tie in powder blue. The suite's sleeves flared a bit, revealing light blue ruffles. The top hat was large, with a large powder blue ribbon, and all in all it was more of a costume than anything.

"Well, a funeral is one of the biggest occasions of a person's life, no?"

Kurogane, straitening up, snappd back, "She's dead!"

Fai laughed, adjusting his bow tie. "I may not act it, but I am actually pretty smart, Kurgs." After brushing himself off, he smiled fakely. Kurogane wasn't very concerned: Fai was just recovering from another loved ones death; He'd get over himself sometime. However, he did snap, "And I don't know that?"

The laugh that the ninja recieved mocked him. "Well, sometimes I wonder." He pulled on white gloves and then just stood there, studying Kurogane, who became quite uncomfortable under those bright blue eyes. Those tinted diamonds stood just above that white gloved hand, the hem of the fabric held by the other, spindly, gloved hand. And just when Kurogane though he'd snap, the mage pressed his hands together with spread fingers and said, lips almost resting on his thumb, "Kurogane are you going to wear dirty work jeans and a black shirt to this fine, fine event?"

"Shaddup," grouched the ninja, walking away to go get something on that didn't smell like greese. He didn't have any clothes like Fai's, but he was just going to dress dark (like always) and slick his hair back. It wasn't like he was one for funerals, anyway.

"Hurry up, Kuro-poo, or we'll be late!"

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

He could hear that Fai was following him into the parlour, but he didn't stop. He was nearing the futon covered in just-laundried clothes when Fai chimed, "But I just love a man who smells like hard work."

"I really should belt you, idiot." For effect, he picked up his belt with a black button-up Fai had bought him cheap. It had intricate white designs on the front consisting of incomprehensable words, swords, crosses, etc, but it was the best black shirt he had. He'd only worn it once thus far, the day Fai'd come home and begged him to wear it even if it was just around the house. How'd it end up in the wash, he didn't know.

"Now that's just abusive," chuckled the blonde. "I was only complimenting you."

"Hey." Kurogane looked over at the blonde and gave him a dead sirious look. One that read plainly, "I might not be sappy, but I am not, under any circumstances, abusive toward you." He noticed Fai had taken his hat off, and on his pale lips he played a tiny smile, not so much that ironic, sexy smile, but a smaller version. The ninja scoffed and turned back to find his darkest pair of jeans.

Fai leaned against the doorframe leading to their room. "You know, when I was in all that pain in Tokyo, I couldn't think. I just knew I had to get away from that pain. I could hardly see, but I knew you were there, and in that tiny ounce of being I had, I thought two things unconciously: 'Don't scream, don't scream," and something about you. I think I was trying to tell myself that clinging to you was a way to get you to feel a pang of regret. I think that was part of it, but most of all, I wanted you to hold me like the mother of a five-year-old, and you wouldn't, and through my pain I somehow knew that and it made it ten times worse."

Furrowing his brows, Kurogane, pants in hand, went into their room while the blonde stayed with his back on the doorframe, waiting for some kind of acknowlegdement.

"You're way too truthful," muttered the ninja. "Around me."

"But I thought you wanted that, Kurgs?" Fai threw a sideways glance into the room, where Kurogane, in all his buff glory, was shirtless. "You're always complaining that I'm fake-"

There was a sigh. "There isn't a comprimise." There was no question in that.

"All or nothing," was the answer.

He ignored it and went on with what he was saying, kicking his pants away grabbing the clean ones. "I guess that's what happens when you get screwed over and up that badly."

"Guess so." He glanced in again to give him a verifying look.

"Turn your head around," snapped the ninja.

Doing so, the blond muttered, "It's nothing I haven't seen before. It's not like I haven't see you half-naked. Though I do have to say that Japanese underwear don't suite you." He flung a mischivious smile into the roon. "They don't show off your manlyness."

"Why you little-" He would have gone after him, had it not been for the fact he had one leg in his opants and the other out.

"I'd say you're the one who's way too honest, really." Fai shook his head a bit, now facing the living room entirely. "You may not come out and say it, but you are. I siriously doubt you have a single fake bone and your body. Mabe that's why you're so warm."

"Tch." God this man couldn't stay on a single subject.

He'd said the exact same thing in Nihon.

Reaching down to soak the cloth again, Fai smiled a bit. It was unconcious by now, a natural reaction. Thankfully, he was behind Kurogane, wringing the cloth out and slowly wiping it over the ninja's tanned, muscled back. He'd taken most of the bandages off, save for the end of his left arm. Warm sunshine poured into the room from the cracked sliding doors that lead to the garden.

"You're very warm. Mabe I should have gotten cold water?"

"You know that's how I am naturally."

"Hm." He went was far down as Kurogane's tail bone, because that's all he'd permitted Fai to see by gathering his yukata there. For a moment there was silence as the blonde washed his shoulders, Kurogane not even glancing his way. Then his sleeves, which were tied up, came loose and dropped onto the ninja's back.

"Damn," he murmured, moving to tie it back up.

Kurogane glanced back, finally. "You know you probably shouldn't be wearing that, right?"

"What?" Fai glanced up from fixing his sleeve. For a fraction of a second, his eyes met the ninja's.

Turning away again, he muttered, "You're wearing a Furisode. It's made for woman who have come of age and are ready to marry, and the lover of a samuri. And it's never worn while working."

"You know what's funny?" Fai pointed out. "You said 'probably.' You're too pure, Kurogane." The ninja caught the minuscule shaking in his voice, the shaking Fai had tried to shove away. He was shaking because he was voicing what he already knew: Kurogane was untouchable. Kurogane was a warmth so painful, he dared not touch it. Kurogane was too pure, too amazing.

He managed to hide it in his next sentences. "You may not come out and say it, but you are more truthful than anyone. I siriously doubt you have a single bad bone in your body. Mabe that's where your warmth comes form."

"Shut up!" he snapped at the air in front of him instead of Fai, a bit of a blush coming into his tanned cheeks.

"Awww, Kuro-sama's blushing!"

The ninja tore around to see Fai crouching with his arms between his legs with that stupid smile on his face, but he was lopsided and not used to moving so fast and fell over witha "thunk," prompting the blonde to laugh at him heartily for a while. But he knew this was his doing: if he'd just torn his hand out of Kurogane's in Celes, he'd still have his arm (and his balance). He moved around the ninja and overed him a hand, still laughing a bit to hide his regrets. Kurogane, who was glaring, his yukata twisted around his thighs, ignored that hand and pushed himself up without help.

"I don't need your help," he snapped.

"Right again, Kuro-sama."

Thankfully he hadn't said "I don't need you" because then Fai wouldn't know how to respond. That's exactly why he brushed off Kurogane promising himself to Kurogane before their leave. He wanted to be needed for something other than a scapegoat, for something other than blame, or the key to a plot. But it seemed that was too much for someone as horrible as he was. He knew he should be happy with what he had: a good friend in Kurogane (Well, it was more like frenemies), a daughter in Sakura, and son in Syoaron....But it just wasn't right. I wasn't....intamate.


Kurogane dropped him off right in front of the funeral home to spare him stares from the people on the street. The sky was a taunting beautiful blue, and thought Fai thought it should be raining, he had to admit it was the kind of weather Kelsy would have loved. The building sat between a fork in the road, with a very small white church across the street on the left and the parking lot on the right. Behind it were some houses. It was a brick building with a large overhang for the hurse and nice, wine-red rugs with matching interior.

He was late, just as planned.

The room was silent exept for some teenagers crying in the corner, and then, all of a sudden, the large heavy doors swung open and there was Fai, in all his glory, coldy staring them down. He strode in and past the dozens of mourners, taking long steps. There was one person with Kelsie at the moment, but he moved away at the sight of this beautiful, mysterious person with the cold, pained eyes. And without hesitation that beautiful ghost of a person stepped up to casket, unable to look down for a moment. For a time-consumer, he took off his top hat and held it behind his back. And then, with a deep breathe, he looked down.

He could never get used to the way the dead looked like they were in a deep slumber.

Behind him someone whispered, "Who's that?"

"Fai. They were very close."

"What the hell is he wearing?"

"I should have knew he'd do something like this..."

He ignored them, trying to stay as cold as possible, because otherwise he'd cry. Slowly, he took off his glove with his teeth and held it in the same hand as his hat. Her face was so cold, so lifeless. She should have been laughing with him, but instead she was cold.

"You're my Alice," he murmured so no one could hear. "You're my fighter. Where have you gone?" He really got cought up in his games too much, and he knew it, but he couldn't stop. "I should have told you to stay in Wonderland, I guess. The real world's much to harsh." Slowly, the mage bent down and kissed her forehead. She was so cold, and it was so unlike her it pained his heart. This was his baby. This was his friend. This was his sister. This was a person who, because of his life, had died.

There was nothing more to do now but move on, he knew, though he doubt he could do it. And so, he dawned his hat, pulled his glove back on, and bowed his head. "I'll make sure that if I see you again that you're happy and healthy." He couldn't help but shed a small tear. "Goodbye, Alice." And with one last heartbroken look, the blode turned on his heel, raised his head with cold dignity even though he had a tear rolling down his cheek, and strode away from the person he cared about most in this world, besides his ninja.

Kurogane was waiting at the door soberly. He would've asked if Fai was okay, but as a rule you DID NOT as Fai D. Flourite if he was okay. He just followed him out silently. He didn't say a word when the blonde got into the driver's seat, didn't ask where they were going or if he was going to change into something appropriate.

They drove down the street for a very short time until they came to the red light before the police station and took a left up the hill. They passed the old, now-unused senior center (there was a new one on Main Street), and the Teen Center, until they came to the West Warwick High School and John F. Deering Middle School near the top, which were connected. There was a bus entrance, and on the stepp above was a parking lot, and when you drove in the high school, tan with a dark overhang, sat tall with the middle school down on the left, like a little sibling. Fai drove around the right side of the high school, on the road between it and the hill on which sat the track and "the complex", and to the back parking lot silently, where the ground almost fell away.

He parked on the edge of the parking lot, near a sharp hill that fell into a baseball and soccer field. There was a single concrete, metal-railed starecase down, and a large empty area with traces of white lines and tall baseball gaits, and then West Warwick, all hills and trees and a single white high rise, spread out before them.

Kurogane looked toward the blonde, but he had climbed into the back seat, and was changing. He looked away, wondering where to put his eyes, but thankfully Fai was a quick dresser and was already grabbing his iPod out of the front cup holder and getting out, dressed in neon yellow skinny jeans and a black t-shirt that read "I'm not okay" in blurry white letters.

The ninja, knowing the blonde needed some alone time, thrust back the lever that allowed him to put the seat back and sat there, closing his eyes.

"HOW COULD I DO THIS TO YOU?"

Kurogane's eyes snapped open, and inside the car he heard the faint echo of "you....you...ou......" He finally got it. Fai thought this was all because of that stupid Twins curse. He thought this was all his fault.

"WHY!?"

Kurogane thrust the door open, snapping hard, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE OVER THIS!" The mage, who was gripping at his hair, turned sharply, as if he'd forgotten Kurogane was there. And all of a sudden the ninja had captured his wrists, and Fai immediatly struggled, but somehow he didn't have the upper hand like he always did. He managed to pushed Kurogane onto the hillside, but he was dragged down along with him, and all of a sudden the ninja sprung forward, locking him between himself and then earth, wrists immobile. Then he saw how badly Fai was shaking, and not because he was crying, and how scared those blue eyes were.

And then it hit him, like some boulder crashing down a mountain.

"Were you ever raped?"