Chapter Nine: Secrets aren't like Coldplay
Kevin grit his teeth, "This day could not get any worse!" he grumbled.
Javier didn't say anything, and simply trudged back to the precinct in quiet solidarity. Not that anyone would begrudge them their silence.
Kevin had barely stepped into the bullpen, when Lanie flew to them.
"Oh Thank God!" she screeched.
Both men stumbled back in shock, "L-Lanie?" Kevin stuttered as she reached him and squeezed his hands.
"Where the hell have you two been?" she demanded.
Both men looked away.
"Recon", Kevin eventually answered.
"And that's why you couldn't reply to any of our calls", she sighed.
"Actually we both left our cellphones here", he answered instead.
"Babes, what's going on?" Javier interceded finally.
Lanie sobbed, "Alexis is in the hospital", she cried out.
"What?!" Kevin straightened and jogged to his desk, "Why?" he demanded even as he unlocked his phone and checked the screen.
Sam: 25 missed Calls
James: 30 voice-messages
"What happened?" he turned to Lanie angrily, "What happened?" he asked again.
"I don't have the details, just bits and pieces of what Kate told me. She fainted, and got stabbed, and something. Your cousin has been calling the precinct every hour of the hour", she informed.
"Which Hospital?" he demanded as he grabbed his bag, and keys, "Lanie?" he asked again.
Why did he have to keep repeating himself?
"The Closest was Metro General", she told him.
"Javi, I'll meet you there", he took the stairs, seeing as the elevator seemed to take forever to climb back up.
"Bro, I'll come with you", Javi moved forward.
But Kevin was already jogging down, blindly moving to where he knew was his bike, he'd managed to arrive early only to have come across the worst news ever. Knowing Montgomery was the third cop, had just about killed him completely.
This, this accident, he couldn't handle losing his anchor.
Kevin ran, blinded as much by tears as by the darkness that threatened to consume him, stumbling through the barely lit corridor, the parking garage, he skid and slipped on the floor, it paid a contrast to the howling like a vacuum wind that chilled him to the bone, but he kept going.
He had to reach Alexis, as fast as he could.
If he had been thinking clearly, Kevin would have gone via the car, Javier would have been the steadier of the two, and yet all he could think about was not losing her, he couldn't! She was everything. His superhero!
But Kevin wasn't thinking stumbling through the barely lit corridor, the parking garage, he skid and slipped on the floor, his only thought was of reaching his gemstone. Because right now, all he could here were the lyrics to a song, that seemed to capture him and bound him in reverberated in his skull, like drums;
"I don't need you to believe in me
I know how to change my destiny
Sit down, about to rewrite our history, rewrite our history, rewrite our history"
Every one of the gods must have been smiling on him when they'd brought her to him. Kevin had never trusted anyone before Alexis, not really, but she had proved that she wouldn't let him down. When his nightmares had taken his control, had come to destroy him, Kevin had known that he had to get to her, and fast.
Kevin reached his bike, grabbed the helmet hanging from the rear, and slammed it down even as his hands and feet moved, revved the engine. He took off.
A part of him was infinitely relieved, the roads stayed in fairly good condition through much of the winter in New York, and he had been pleased that he could move quicker.
Racing down the street, his only thought was Alexis; he needed to get to her.
Kevin ran into the ER and skidded as soon as he saw James.
"JAMES!"
The Irish doctor looked up in shock and warm understanding and met him half way.
"Alexis?" he asked.
"She's fine. She wasn't in any danger, I promise", James pulled him in for a hug, "Her dad and your senior Kate Becket is with her and the redheaded grandmother", he assured, "She's safe Kev, she's okay, I promise", he whispered.
Kevin clung helplessly, "I-I, what happened?" he asked warily.
"Overwhelmed", James answered, "By Aunt Annaha", he explained.
Guilt choked his heart, like a Viper's grip, "I should never have left her alone", he whimpered.
"You couldn't have protected her forever", James chided gently.
"I could have at least stood by her side", he protested.
"And show her off as a coward?" James asked, "Would you accept the same, when it comes to tell her father?" he asked.
Kevin swallowed, and shook his head, "I'd want to be stronger, more—well something", he shrugged sheepishly, words not forthcoming. Not that anyone could blame him, all he could hear was
Alexis AlexisAlexisAlexis Alexis AlexisAlexisAlexis Alexis AlexisAlexisAlexis…
On a constant fucking loop it was driving him insane.
"I need to see her", he begged.
"Yeah, sure", James pulled back and ushered him forward, "Room 206, Second Floor", he informed, "I'd escort you but I have—and apparently you've already gone, and I'm talking to myself, awesome", he mumbled.
Kevin ran for the lift, deftly moving around the many people in the hallways, and hitting the button for the second floor, even as the door closed and the sea of people moved, he could see his cousin's smirk. Kevin grinned and offered a two finger salute.
Composing himself he walked to the room, and found Kate leaning against the wall.
"Becket", he called.
Kate looked up, "Ryan", she straightened, "You got here quick, Javi and Lanie told me, you ran out of the precinct like a bat outta hell", she wondered.
"I have my ways. How is she?" he asked instead in trying to dodge her many inquisitive questions and glances.
"She's fine. She hasn't woken up once though. The surgery went well, all things considered", she informed.
"Surgery?"
Kate blinked, "Yeah surgery", she tilted her head to the side, "Wait, you don't know?" she asked.
"Don't know what?" he asked cautiously.
"Kev", Kate paused, "Alexis fainted you know that right?" she asked warily.
"Yeah, stress right?" he asked quizzical.
"And that she knocked over the knife holder, and got stabbed by the steak knife?" Kate asked.
Kevin stumbled back, "W-what?" he gaped, shock coursing through him, "No one mentioned stab wounds", he stated a tad hysterically.
"Hey Kate, what's with all the noi—Oh!"
They both turned to his see Rick standing in the doorway, "Kevin?" he blinked at the detective, "You're here?" he asked confused.
Kevin growled irritated, "Where else would I be idiot!?" he demanded, and stepped forward, "I need to see her!" he stated angrily.
"Uh… sure", Rick stepped back utterly baffled, "She's not awake, so, I don't think she'll be all that responsive, and you're not listening", Rick watched him go in.
"What just happened?" Kate asked.
"I—how would I now?" Rick shrugged. "Haven't you known him longer than me?" he wondered blinking in shock as he watched Kevin greet Martha, and sit on the available empty seat.
Martha murmured something and walked towards them.
"Mother?"
"I-what? It felt like I was intruding", she huffed. "Rick be a dear, and walk me to the Cafeteria, you too Kate, I do fancy a cup of tea", she huffed again for good measure.
Kate blinked. "What on Earth us going on?" she asked no one in particular.
"Darling, the fate's gave us a sign, I am taking due diligence and making myself scarce", Martha harrumphed and stalked off with flair of tossed shawls, and clinking jewelry.
Rick shrugged and Kate sighed, "Well, if the queen has spoken", Kate hummed, "Kind sir, lay on MacDuff", she contradicted and curtsied.
"Are you sure you're not the one who sacrificed Drama Class to become a cop?" he asked even as he bowed and tucked her hand into his elbow.
Kate snorted, "You only wish", she joked and walked off.
Rick snorted, "And lose you as my muse? You must be joking…"
Kevin all but fell into the chair besides Alexis, a part of him registered Martha moving around, saying something, maybe he even replied automatically? But truth was, his sole focus was on the woman in the bed.
Clearly James' definition of fine and his definition of fine are at odds. Because Alexis is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over her face, her leg propped up on a pile of pillows and covered in a thick Black cast, an IV sticking out of her arm, and a couple of bright blue ice packs settled on her bare, bruised abdomen. This isn't fine. This isn't even in the same zip-code as fine.
He hated the way she looked, features strained even in sleep, as if she were dreaming of something terrible, or probably reliving her morning.
And no matter what James said, or however his irritating conscience reacted, this-this one, was entirely on him.
Gently, ever so gently he reached out and clasped Alexis' hand in his own.
"I'm so sorry Em", he whispered, head bowing as if in prayer, "Losing you would suck", he added eloquently as he put his head on the bed, "I messed up", he continued, "I was cowardly and stupid, and I should never have left you alone to deal with my folks", he muttered.
"I can't—" he broke off choking down a stream of words, "Em", he sighed as the words ended up stuck in his throat again, "I need you in my life, I can't do this without you Em, I can't. You're this Ray of Light, that suddenly just keeps breaking away the shadows in my heart and if anything were to happen to you, it'd kill me, so please, Em, please wake up, I need you calling me and idiot, and smacking me, I need you because you anchor me, please Love, please wake up", he begged piteously.
Kevin sobbed as he clung to her hand tighter, "I love you", he whispered once, and pulled back.
"Oh God, please there has to be something I can do?" he begged weakly.
"Sing to her".
Kevin looked up and found Aaliya standing in the doorway, cheeks ruddy and red, tears pooled in her aquamarine eyes, hair disheveled as if she'd run all the way to the hospital, and black winter coat clutched in her hands, as if she'd forgotten she was holding it.
"Aaliya", he breathed and stood up, the woman blinked moved forward and stumbled back at the same time.
Kevin caught her just as she fell.
"Sing to her, please sing to her", she begged, "She sang to you once with her violin, please Kev, please", she gripped his Shirt, "I'm begging you", she pleaded.
"I—"
"You can use this", another voice softly stated and pulled a terrified Aaliya out of his grip.
"Fatima", he breathed blinking at her expression similar to her cousin, wrought with anguish even as she handed him an obviously well-loved Guitar case.
"Please, she's sung for you. Please sing something, anything, maybe it'll reach her", she begged.
Kevin nodded once and took the guitar case, hands shaking he flipped the locks and pulled out a simple guitar, he sat on the edge of the seat and hummed.
"I-I can't really sing, but please Listen Em", he whispered kissed her hand, and nodded towards both girls who strayed a little closer to the spare chairs by the window.
Jon Gumm: Everything
I'll tell you all of my fears
I'll tell you all of my shame
If you'll just lend me an ear
That's all I want
There is no word I can say
There is no chord I can play
To make me more of a man
And that's all I want
That's Everything...
Take my hand I'll lead you and we'll never be alone
Take my hand I'll lead you and we'll never be alone
The city's making you ill
It's like you're running uphill
Let's jump off the treadmill
Just close your eyes
I'm gonna build you a house
I'm gonna build you a wall
To keep you safe from it all
Just close your eyes
That's Everything...
Take my hand I'll lead you and we'll never be alone
Take my hand I'll lead you and we'll never be alone
Back at the dawning of time
When god made Everything
He had but one thing in mind
To make you mine
You're everything to me...
His fingers stroked the last chord and he set the Guitar to still.
"Likewise"
"Alexis!" Twin shrieks greeted him, even as his head snapped up and connected with Emerald orbs, a soft smile and understanding features
"Emerald…" he trailed off Scrambling he dropped the guitar and pushed forward and then without really thinking about the consequences, if Rick or Kate would walk in, or Javier or Lanie, he didn't care if the cat might escape, all he cared about was the beautiful woman in the hospital bed looking at him with wonder and awe, and had faced off his family for him, she was here, she was now, she was everything and he couldn't breathe.
The kiss was everything he needed it to be, a soft, yet greedy kiss, that filled him with a complete and fulfilling joy.
"Hi", he breathed as he pulled back, smiling with relief.
"Hi", Alexis whispered smiling softly at him, "And you're an idiot", she added hoarsely.
"For you always", he agreed genuinely not caring why.
Aaliya and Fatima moved forward as soon as he stepped back and engulfed her in a hug, "Fuck!" Aali cursed, "Don't do that again", she grumbled, finally letting her tears fall.
"What she said", Fatima added.
Kevin nodded, "Likewise", he grumbled.
"Well now you know how I feel", she coughed once, "Tit-for-tat and all that", she whispered.
"Here, drink this", Aaliya held a glass of cold water and Fatima quietly set the bed upright gently easing her leg.
Alexis sipped slowly, before she cleared her throat, "You're quite", she addressed Fatima.
The brunette flushed, "Yeah, well I can still feel your blood on my hands", she grumbled.
Aaliya and Kevin stared at her.
"What?" Alexis asked shocked.
"The doctors here didn't have your Medical History, and I recognized you. I was here for some—never mind it was personal", she shrugged, "The point is when James came in carrying you, and everything, with my idiot cousin and your idiot cousin", she pointed at Kevin, "Panicking", she added as a verbal punch, "And well long story short, between the blood spill, and not being able to contact you Kev, and Sam and Kabir's epic screeching litany's of 'Oh My God!' I was recruited to stitch you up", she explained.
"Most of their Trauma surgeons were out on some kind of New Year leave thing, and James was already too close to the case, having been the one to bring you in, and he offered my name as surrogate. Next thing I know, I'm being prepped for surgery of my best friend", she hissed the last three words.
"Anyway", she cleared her throat after a few minutes of too tense silence, when neither of them could find the words to say anything, "One thing the whole fiasco has definitely proven was that the world, or fate or whatever, has an ironic streak a mile wide, because when all was said and done and the dust finally settled, it was really weird to realize I'd succeeded some sort of test on someone who was closer to me than to James, anyway even as I stitched her skin back up, after removing a freaking steak knife from her thigh", she muttered.
Aaliya swallowed, "My reaction right now is in the middle of being either to laugh hysterically, and end up crying regardless, or cry and end laughing hysterically regardless", and she muttered sort of half amused already.
"Ugh!" Kevin groaned, "Personally, I just want this whole day to end!" he grumbled slouching in the hospital seat beside her bed.
"Bad day?" Alexis asked softly.
"The worst", he answered memories of truth, stilted and painful flooded him and he cringed, "The honest, actual, horrible, absolutely terribly no good, very bad day type of worst day!" he answered.
Alexis snorted, "So a normally bad day", she arched a brow.
"Remember that—" he paused, and swallowed as he realized Aali and Fatima were still in the room, and changed tact half way not fooling anyone, "Good old date Numero Uno?" he grimaced at the truly pathetic deflection attempt.
Aren't I supposed to be a New York cop?
Aali snorted, "I fancy a cup of tea", she kissed Alexis on her cheek, "Get well sweety", she wished, and grabbed her cousin's hand, "Come on, walk me out", she muttered, "I've aged ten years due to all thin humdrum", she grumbled.
Fatima snorted and burst into a fit of helpless giggles, "You're an actual idiot", she laughed even as they both supported each other out of the room
**XX**
Alexis watched as Kevin walked to the door and closed it, and returned back to the seat beside her.
"What is it? What's wrong?" she asked suddenly highly aware of the atmosphere.
Kevin sighed, "We found out who the third cop is", he muttered.
"Oh", she breathed, "Oh God! It's someone you know", she gasped.
Kevin looked up then and smiled sadly. Alexis' heart clenched, she could feel utterly pain coursing through her.
"Kay?" she asked even though in that very moment, the man she loved looked utterly crushed, she understood instinctively, "You can't tell me who it is, can you?" she whispered.
Kevin looked away and then right at her, "I want to, more than anything. I want to, but I can't, I can't", he broke away helpless, looking away again.
"Then don't", she hummed simply.
Kevin looked up in shock, and Alexis giggled slightly.
"Em?" he cocked his head eerily like a confused puppy, it was ridiculous.
"Oh darling", Alexis reached for his hand and entwined their fingers, "I don't need to know", she smiled softly, "I won't lie to you, I want to know, I want to share your burden, I want to understand, and I want to help", she listed, "But I can't always be there for you, not in same capacity as most normal couples. Beside everything else, we are still human though", she stated honestly offering a laconic off-shoulder shrug.
"I don't-what should I do?" Kevin asked confused.
"Honor your vow", she advised.
"My vow?" he asked.
"Did you not one day say, when you took it upon your mantle, 'To Protect and Serve' right? You made that vow, to honor your code, to honor yourself, so you can't balk and run from it. And whether or not it's something that challenges your own principles, you can't let go of it", she reminded him simply.
Kevin froze almost unsure as if, and yet deeply understanding the point nevertheless.
"I get it Kay", she whispered, "I get sacrificing, and hoping and praying and everything else, because even though that song, those words were never really written for us, it helps to realize and to drive home the point I am desperately trying to hope you get, because darling you are everything to me, too", she squeezed his hand, "And I get it, we can't all be heroes", she murmured, "But we can keep our promises, right?" she asked.
Kevin nodded then, and moved forward and kissed her again, and this time she was a wake enough to notice, his lips are as soft as they look, and he takes these hitching little breaths each time Alexis leans in - like he's about to jump off a cliff into freezing, unknown waters - so there are certain incentives.
This is more than they've done - by a long shot. Every press-of-lips was chaste and innocent in comparison. This is making Alexis' blood heat up, her hands tingling as she urges Kevin in closer, and that's when her wound made itself known. Something pulls and she can feel warmth pool around her leg.
"Fuck!" she cursed pulling back.
Kevin winced in retaliation, "Ah shit. Shit, Alexis, I'm sorry, look, don't start gushing on me again, okay? Blood stays inside, am I right?" Kevin babbled, applying gentle pressure to the wound, and pressing the nurse button like his life depended on it.
Alexis couldn't help it; she giggled, and started laughing harder, "Oh God! Oh God, please don't make me laugh, its hurts", she sighed out.
"Well, I'll say!"
They both looked up to see a nurse standing in the doorway, "Ya two idjits tryin' to upend all our hard work, love's gotta be gentle in all places, ya can't go around being aal crazy now, now come move aside, boy, I gots to see the damage", her strange accent made them both smother their laughter.
And even as Kevin stepped back, her eyes never left his and she watched him.
"How longs have you two been together?" the nurse asked, her fluffy brown hair falling around her shoulders. The pink scrubs and odd contrast to her peach skin tan.
"Feels like a lifetime", Alexis answered, and smiled as Kevin blushed.
"Ah, it's always the ones that last the longest. There—" she pulled back; re-strapping what looked like a cast but was actually a thermal-waterproof casing around her bandages.
"Is it bleeding?" Alexis asked.
"Naah…" she pat her gently, "The meds kinda just gonna feel like it's leaking, but dem stitches are pretty much the best I've seen. Very clean job, but that's no excuse", she warned, "Don't jostle around too much or you might actually pull something", she shook her head, and gently bopped Kevin on his head with her clipboard, "Mind you, I get wanting to kiss your love, but keep 'em chaste", she advised.
"Nurse!" Alexis called, "Is my father around?" she asked.
"Ah Mr. Castle? Aye child, I believes he's in the cafeteria", she hummed, "I goes and tells him, dem, sleep meds are gonna start kicking in soon", she pointed to the IV drip.
"Thank you", Alexis nodded gratefully.
"Goods, now, I suggest you haves about five minutes more of love-dovey time, then it's gonna be back to being cautious", she smirked.
Both Kevin and Alexis stared at her shocked.
"Idjits", she muttered affectionately, "You don't gets to my age at sixty and not figures things out on your owns", she shook her head and walked out, gently closing the door on her way out.
Alexis blinked, "What just happened?" she asked.
Kevin snorted, "Apparently we're pathetic at hiding our relationship in front of strangers, but a team of highly trained Metropolitan Detectives haven't figured out what the truth is yet?" he asked.
Alexis snorted, "Oh man, you're right. There were the waitresses in the Mac D", she started.
"My cousins at Nostradamus", Kevin added.
"True, and I figured they were related to you later, but before them James, and Sam", she reminded.
"Then my parents. Your mum, even if she hasn't quite met me officially, she knows there's something between and older guy, her friend—what was his name?" he asked.
"Aiden", she answered, "But I just realized before Sam, in order it'd be, the waitresses, James, Sam, Mrs. Sharma, Kabir, Aaliya and Fatima, their Uncle, Your cousins, Aiden and Mom, Trace and the rest of your folks, the kids Lily and Theo that is and that's it I think?" she wondered.
"Uh-uh", Kevin shook his head, "There's still, Alec and Alejandro. I believe Aaliya is dating Alejandro and Fatima, Alec", he added.
"And the cabbie", Alexis added, "Which after her is now a Nurse, in the know", she added.
"And Rick has doubts, and Kate's skeptical, and after my stunt today I'm pretty sure Javi's got his own doubts, which he'll share with Lanie. So yeah… five minutes of cozy and then back to cautiousness", he grimaced.
"What do you mean by stunt of yours?" Alexis asked worriedly.
"After I heard you were in the hospital, after receiving the worst news on earth. My heart all but stopped ticking and I bolted—", he shrugged, "—outta the precinct, like a bat outta hell. I even took my bike, a fact that none of the decs know I actually know how to ride", he hummed.
"For me, why would you risk all that?" she sighed.
The next she knew was Kevin in her space, a hair's breadth in front of her, lips inches from her.
"I want you to realize something, right here, right now", he nuzzled under his chin, "I love you, and you're worth everything to me. I've had seriously terrible relationships, unhealthy ones, but you've been the closest constant and stable thing since I saw you in that restaurant. The light hit you just so, encompassing around you, like a Halo of purity. And Alexis for you, I want to. So please understand, I would do anything, buy anything for you, nothing is more important compared to you, Alexis you're my priceless treasure", he muttered, flushing at the words he was actually confessing.
"Kevin", she breathed, "You're an idiot. And I love you, God help me, but I do", she moved then and kissed him.
And this time despite the warning for leaving things chaste, she knew that this shifting thing between them, and the bad news of what Kevin had discovered was going to change things even more, and she might not get another chance, so she was taking it, and she'd care about everything else later on.
Right now, right here, she was going to kiss her boyfriend, everything else could carry on later.
Kevin probed his lips with his tongue, forcing him to open her mouth. A challenge she conceded to willfully.
Overwhelmed, Kevin moaned into the kiss, letting himself go, the kiss turned passionate almost instantly. Groaning he fought for dominance, failing miserably at the task, because even if he was stronger and she was giving in, this was on her, when Alexis pulled him impossibly closer, and placed her good leg between his thigh, even though it hadn't quite registered when he'd climbed upon the bed pressing on to his erection eliciting a moan from Kevin.
Alexis continued taking over the kiss with more fervor.
Kevin groaned as his lips clashed with hers, she gave in completely, the kiss was all passion, and fury, and love and unbridled lust that shot through them.
Alexis groaned as their tongues and teeth clashed, it was messy, it was ardent and soul possessing. It felt as if it had been a very long time, since she had kissed someone with so much enthusiasm, as opposed to the actual truth, where she spent the night with him.
Pulling away to breathe, they panted against each other, Kevin's head falling to her shoulder, as if his knees were too soft to support him.
"Okay", Kevin conceded, "Point Taken", he huffed.
Alexis couldn't help it she laughed again, a soft sound that had them grinning helplessly at each other.
"I love you too", he promised.
Alexis beamed at him.
As for now whatever's coming, let them come;
Bring it on!
***XX***
