Sirius grinned as he walked down the hallway with his friends; things were going pretty well today. Then, he saw his brother, and almost immediately his expression fell. He slowed his walking pace a bit, then sped up again, laughing overly loudly at the sarcastic comment James had made. He could feel his friends' eyes watching him as they passed Regulus in the hallway, then headed up to Gryffindor tower. Once they were in the common room, James said, "Sirius?"
"Hmm?" he replied, despite knowing exactly what thought train James was on.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"About what?" he asked, feigning ignorance. He had never brought this issue up to his friends, not seriously, anyway; an offhand comment about his family, sure, but actually talking about them was something he had always avoided, like he tried to avoid running into Regulus at school.
"You're not fooling us," Remus said gently.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "What is there to talk about? I don't get along with my family. You lot are more like brothers to me than Regulus, that's all there is to it."
"Are you sure about that?" James asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure," he replied, his tone more bitter than he had meant for it to come out. He headed up to the dormitory, leaving his friends in the common room.
He sat down on his bed, pulled out his trunk, and ruffled through it to pull out the picture of him and Regulus as kids that he kept despite his better judgement. Six-year-old Sirius laughed and shoved his four-year-old brother lightly, and Regulus then pushed Sirius nearly out of the frame. They both came back into the center, laughing. They had just been kids then, hadn't understood anything about blood purity or power dynamics. Sirius had known that he found his parents cold and mean, but he hadn't yet known why, and he hadn't yet grouped Regulus in with them. They all subscribed to terrible ideologies, but a small part of Sirius, though he didn't like it, had a sliver of hope for Regulus. He was only thirteen, and he was, like Sirius, a victim of their parents' cruel ways. But talking to Regulus was out of the question. They really didn't communicate anymore, what with Regulus being the golden boy of the family and Sirius being the black sheep. Sirius had absolutely no idea how to get through to his little brother. He put the picture back in his trunk with a sigh.
James, Remus, and Peter walked into the dormitory, and Sirius shook his head. He should have known they wouldn't let him sit up here alone. "So, you're fine?" James said, raising his eyebrows.
"Look," Sirius said slowly, not wanting to offend his friends. "All of you are only siblings. You won't... you can't understand it."
"Understand what?" asked Remus. "That you're upset about your relationship with your family?"
"It's not all of them," Sirius said. "I mean, my parents are just kind of awful, I've accepted that." He ignored the others' concerned looks. "It's just, Regulus... I don't know. He's my brother. When we were kids, we did stuff together, back before we understood that we had different views. And there's a part of me that just wishes he would see the right side of things, that we could actually be brothers again. He's not strong enough to go against our parents, and I wish he was."
"Maybe he'll come around," Peter suggested.
Sirius laughed humorlessly. "Maybe."
"You could try talking to him," said Remus. "At school, away from your parents' influence."
"I think you underestimate how far their influence reaches. And I don't think..." He took a breath. "I don't think I could bring myself to talk to him. If it didn't end well, if he ignored me..." He didn't finish the thought, but he was fairly certain the others got his point.
James sat down beside him on the bed, silent for a moment. Then he said, "Do you wanna go pull a prank on the librarian?"
Sirius grinned. "Sure."
They jumped up and went out of the dormitory, Remus and Peter following.
A/N: I know that in an earlier chapter I said Regulus had been in first year the previous year, but I had the dates wrong; according to the Harry Potter Wiki, he was born in 1961, making him a maximum of two years below Sirius (b. 1959) and co., so that's how I have it here and from this point onwards. Just adjust the bit from that earlier chapter slightly in your head.
