It's pranking time! Let's start with the morning.
At two A.M., I started prancing around the house singing "Like a Virgin" by Madonna. Poor Edward had a spazz attack. Then, Bella came downstairs to ask what was going on, so I told her I was singing Edward's theme song. You should've seen her face!
Then, I went through Edward's phone book. I found this one guy's name underlined in red. It was a pretty funny name too. I mean really, who names their kid Aro? It obviously meant that Edward either A) loved him, or B) hated him. I called the number and waited a moment for the person to pick up.
"Hello?" a funny voice said.
"Hi. Edward wants to elope with you," I said quickly, then hung up, laughing to myself. I looked over to see Edward staring at me from the doorway with a terrified look on his face. That made me laugh even harder.
After him and Bella left, I took his phone and had Emmett help me change Edward's ringtone… so he couldn't change it back. Later that day, when Edward "found" his phone, I called him.
"YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN'T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS, SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! HERE WE GO NOW! YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN'T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! GET HORNY NOW!" His ringtone sang. Edward threw the phone across the room and refused to go and pick it up. ( Link to video: .com/watch?v=ygkvjUw5ZEk)
"Whose idea was that?"
"It was Jacob's idea," I laughed. "Hey Edward, where do babies come from?"
His eye started twitching. "I don't know."
"Then you're stupid," Emmett said, grinning. I high-fived him for that one.
Then, I went out to his car after him, Bella, and Renesmee had went shopping, and changed his radio station to play Lollipop –unedited of course. And the best part? He couldn't change it or turn it off! (D: THE HORROR, Link to video: .com/watch?v=ygkvjUw5ZEk)
I got bored for a while. How that was possible, I don't know. So I did the sensible thing: I called Edward. I could picture his ringtone going off in the middle of the mall and him hating it.
"Hello," he said angrily.
"Will you be a gangsta with me for Halloween?"
He was quiet. Scratch that, he hung up on me. Darn.
"Isn't someone a little buggy today?" I muttered.
He came back later that day with a brand new iPad. Lucky duck!
"Hey Edward," I said.
"Yes Natalie?" he responded.
"Do you like Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner better?"
He gave me a funny look and said, "Taylor Lautner."
"Don't hate on Rob just because you're not as pretty as him!" I said.
Stupid Edward. But he is fun to bug, if I do say so myself. I went out a few minutes later with Alice and did something evil: I bought Edward a dog. And not just any dog, a dog named Jacob. Oh, the joy of being evil. Edward wasn't so happy when I gave it to him though… but that was before I trained the dog to follow him everywhere. It was a cute dog too; it was a big chocolate lab. I had to tell Edward that just because the word chocolate is in its name; it doesn't mean he could eat the dog.
Emmett and Rose laughed for what seemed like hours. I did too to be honest, but I was more subtle about it. When Edward was trying to shake the dog off his tail (Hahahah) I went and plastered a whole bunch of Harry Potter posters all over his room. I don't know why, but Edward sort of reminded me of Cedric Diggory. But Cedric died of the Avada Kevadra curse, not the Spanish Influenza. That's when Edward lost his cool.
He got this weird mental look on his face and started running around a wrecking stuff, ranting on and on about how upset he was. I didn't know that Edward was so in touch with his feelings! *coughgaycough*
That's when I stopped with the pranks. Enough is enough. (And plus, I ran out of pranks. I'll get someone else later, though.) I got bored, so I went hunting.
I had drained maybe two or three elk when I heard rustling in the trees behind me. I froze. The only thing I could think of was virtually disappearing. I heard a gasp from behind me.
"Natalie, how did you do that?" Oh, it was just Anthony.
"Do what?"
"Look at yourself! You're invisible!" I looked down at my hands and sure enough, they weren't there. It was just clothes floating in air, on an invisible form.
I gasped. "I was just wishing that I was invisible because I didn't know who was behind me and I was scared and-"
"You can turn invisible! That's your vampire power!" he said, cutting me off.
"Uh, vampire power? Like your sensing people's goodness, and Alice's future seeing, and other stuff?"
He nodded and walked toward me. I concentrated on being visible again, and I re-appeared. My mouth hung open, dried blood on my lips.
Hmm… I'll continue next time. I'm drawing fan art for the Shane Collins and the Olympians story. Go read it, it's my favorite story!
