Summary: AU-About 2 years after PTM. Obi-wan is having to deal without his Master, who is still alive, and training Anakin.
Disclaimer: I don't own StarWars, I'm not getting money off of this.
Special Thanks to: redroseknight, and CYNICAL21 for writing such great fan fics! You guys allowed me to get my mind into gear about writing. Hopefully this will be somewhat of good quality.
" text " normal/verbal talking
italics flashbacks or dreams, depends on what is going on.
'text' talking through a bond/force communication.
Terms: (perhaps unknown vocab.)
Xie-kuh pronounced ZEYE-Ka-uh
Notes: I hope people are not confused between Flashbacks and dreams. Perhaps I should label them...I was having a hard time putting this chapter together, so I'm sorry if it is a bit jumpy.
Dead Ringer
"Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness" Whisper, Evanescence
CHAPTER NINE: Dark Thoughts
It had been a week since he was released from the Healers Ward. He had spent much of his time in meditation trying to reconnect to the Force. But it continued to stray from his touch. It shied away from his strokes, as if he had abused it.
Obi-wan released his frustration as he went through the ketas that had been drilled into his life. The stunning blue blade executing each stage with magnificent precision. Each foot graced the floor with a trained step that was only perfected in the years of lonely practice. He was in his own state of mind, his body on auto pilot, his mind a clean slate. He didn't notice the eyes that watched him from the view deck above the training room floor. Each step he took brushed away the aching thigh that had been broken.
He flipped through the air, barely allowing his feet to hit the cold floor before he moved on. His breathing was perfect in a way that none of it was wasted. The cool air filled his heated lungs, refreshing his body to go on. A mild sweat had broken out, trailing down his bare skin. The discoloration of the scar on his chest made him look dangerous and a formidable opponent. His tan trousers did not hinder his movements as he kicked. Rather the extra material that was loose, flowed like water with his motions, as where they would of been tucked neatly into his boots.
The subtle notes of a wind chime was swept to his ears, it's unpredictable melody soothing as the musician, the wind, drummed on it softly. In his mind he could hear a gentle voice singing in an unknown language. It was hypnotically beautiful. He inhaled, the vague perfume of wild flowers accompanied the revitalizing breath. His actions began to change from the time honored Jedi traditions, following the chime of the melody.
His pale blue eyes slowly closed as he moved in harmony with the alien song. Obi-wan allowed his actions to be guided by it, not thinking of the future of his next move. It was such a wondrous feeling that flowed through him. He could feel the Force trickling back to him, no longer timid to his caress.
The viewing deck was starting to get over crowded, as Jedi from Masters to classes of initiates filled it. All eyes fixated on what could only be described as an elegant dance. Obi-wan pulled the Force close to him, wrapping himself with in its warmth. He jumped upward, using the viewing deck as a stepping stone. Aided by the Force he leapt up into the middle of the room far beyond the heads of the observing crowd, his body twisting effortlessly.
'Release me..." A warm whisper left it's trace in the Knights mind and the manifested melody faded into the corners of his memory.
As his awareness rushed back toward him, he could hear the collective gasp of his audience. His eyes opened, blue and calm as is the sea in the serenest noon. The feeling of falling flooded his senses. He focused his attention on the awe filled gazes as he fell past them. He was spiring downward head first toward the floor below. With another twist he was able to bring his feet under him, landing divinely in a crouched position.
A deafening silence rocked everyone in the training room. Slowly Obi-wan stood up, disengaging his lightsaber. Just as the silence started to get awkward, the crowd roared to life in applause. He had become use to it, as the rumors of his training exercises rippled through the Temple. He had become accustomed to doing this late in the night, knowing only a few Jedi would be awake, and would not bother him in the training rooms.
He looked up giving the crowd a weak and manufactured smile, his eyes immediately picking out the piercing ice blue eyes of Qui-gon and his padawan. Quickly he diverted his eyes, not wanting to dwell in that mysterious emotion that he had seen in that gaze.
Qui-gon watched his former padawan with a restrained admiration. He barely noticed his new padawan fidgeting, failing to control his patients. Obi-wan's force signature was so bright, his center such a tranquil calm. It was a peace that few Jedi would ever attain. Qui-gon's thoughts traveled back to the conversation he had listened in on earlier. The concern filled his eyes.
There was something different about Obi-wan. But he didn't know if it was newly acquired, or if it had been there. He had never really opened his eyes to look.
"Master..." Anakin tugged on his sleeve.
"Yes, padawan?" The Master looked down at him fighting with the boredom that had consumed him.
"I'm hungry."
"Ah I nearly forgot." Qui-gon had forgotten that they had been going to the cafeteria when they were detoured by the talk of Obi-wan practicing. This was the first time he had watched his former apprentice practice. He had always been to busy with Anakin to take the time. He took one more look down at the practice floor, finding Obi-wan looking back at him. As the Knight tore his gaze away from him, Qui-gon ushered Anakin toward the door.
It had taken nearly an hour for Obi-wan to free himself from the persistent questions and comments of the crowd that had watched him. In the end he had retreated toward the Temple gardens, breathing in a sigh of relief, the natural smell of the leaves was swept to his nose, and the memory of the cold rain made him shutter.
In that time in his mind, he remembered the overwhelming darkness tugging at him to use it. And if it had not been for that light whispering to him, he might of fallen into the never ending pits of rage. During that moment of fury he had been blinded. It was such a great power.
It made him feel invincible.
The dull throb stung his arm where he had been burned in his encounter with the Sith in his mind. His heart was racing and he didn't know why.
Confidently he pulled back the curtain of the willow branches, revealing a little green master sitting on the lush grass.
"Hmm waiting for you, I have been." Yoda looked up to him.
Obi-wan suppressed a growl. His hide out had been taken over, and his alone time would no longer be his.
The Knight blinked harshly at the realization of his jealous thoughts.
"The time before you will be most difficult. Please listen to what you must know..." The Master patted his stick on the patch of grass next to him and an obedient Obi-wan sat.
The young Knight pulled his knees to his chest allowing his arms to drape along the top of them.
"Tested you will be."
"Tested, Master?" Obi-wan allowed the question to roll off his tongue.
"In motion, the Future always is. The path you walk, the path the Jedi walk will lie in your choices." Old age had crept into Yoda's voice, causing it to crackle and weaken.
"Master, I don't understand."
"You will, but only in the moment." The tiny Master stood up, the soft hint of a smile graced his wrinkled features.
Obi-wan drew in a breath, his words weighing heavily on his thoughts. He knew not what to say, the confusion brewing in him. He allowed his breath to escape.
Yoda, with the aid of his cane, disappeared through the natural curtains of the tree, leaving the Knight to ponder his words.
Obi-wan's eyes traced the outlines of the leaves that sprouted from the drooping tree branches. The Jedi went to stroke the Force, wanting it's warming comfort, but it again denied him. The gentle melody of a song resounded in the distant parts of his memory and he was able to touch it. But it left him feeling cold.
He would have to find a different place to retreat to, from now on. If he stilled wished to sooth his aching heart.
(FLASHBACK in case of confusion)
Obi-wan sat looking at the sun, as it's radiant beauty died out to allow the night it's time on the world of Coruscant. He felt a loneliness that he knew would haunt him forever. His heart ached inside his chest.
He had daydreamed about his Knighting since he first learned of the journey into Knighthood. He had dreamt of the ceremony, he had dreamt about his heart thudding in his chest with a joyful nervousness as he rose to meet the Jedi Code, and proved himself worthy of the name Jedi. He had dreamt about every detail.
And most of all, he had dreamt about the pride that shined from his Master's blue eyes.
He inhaled deeply, as a salty tear rolled down his cheek. He could feel the pain welling up inside his chest, and the tears he couldn't hold back anymore began to fall like rain.
The raging spectacle of the dying sunlight glistened in his eyes as he sat outside the temple on a secluded ledge, perched like the gargoyles. The cool wind brushing against the newly appointed Knight. The sky was ablaze with orange shades.
The pain was just too real.
He watched as the tears fell from his cheeks, disappearing into the now growing darkness beneath him. His padawan braid danced lazily over his shoulder, reminding him of his final duty to enter Knighthood.
He had been Master-less during the last few months of his training. He had requested quarters for himself, which had been granted by the council, since no Master could forge a bond, a trust that would be of any help.
He was alone in the world.
He reached up to the base of his braid, allowing his fingers to run down the interlocking locks of hair. He slowly reigned it in, the marks reminding him of lessons learned and goals he had accomplished.
He removed the brightly colored markers of his past discarding them over the edge.
The sorrow and the hurt graced his magnificent eyes.
He had been abandoned.
He pulled the vibroblade from it's place on the ledge beside him. Slowly he brought the blade up to the base of the padawan braid, and with one swift smooth swipe, he severed it.
He held the entwined ginger locks between his fingers, the wind unraveling the braid, slowly stealing the strands from his hand.
The flame tipped end twisted lifelessly in the breeze. He loosened his grip, allowing his hand to open slowly. The silky tendrils slipping through his fingers, vanishing into the atmosphere of the busy world.
He placed the blade in its sheath on his utility belt, soaking the tears into his sleeve. He rose to his feet, the wind now violent around him, threatening to push him from the ledge, but he remained steady. The tears faded from his eyes, as the intense golden rays shimmered off the towers of glass, bathing everything in it's light. They blessed his face with warmth and the strength to continue for the future.
He had taken the steps into Knighthood. He had proved himself. The currents of the wind made his robes dance violently, daring not to disturb the solitude of the man who faced it.
The white leather boots barely made a sound in the blackened hallway. A slender hand reached out, commanding the Force to open the door that blocked his journey in the black abyss.
The hatch slid open and Xie-kuh stepped inside. The room was dimly lit with the light blue from a suspension cell. Inside, as if asleep laid Ishtar Montari. The white of her robes soaking in the little light, glowing in the darkness like a beacon. Her lifeless hands gripped a long metal cylinder, neatly design with black and red curves.
Xie-kuh placed his hands on the glass top of the tank. It was cold to his touch, but it didn't matter. The golden flakes in his eyes glistened with the soft hints of emotion, something that should not of been. The deep blue held a melancholy shine. His soft breath clouded over the deep freeze inside the tank.
"Soon you will awaken, Mother. And all will be brought to their knees."
He looked over to the empty cloning tank, then back to the lifeless body.
"What is going on here? What is it that you think you are doing?" Doctor Ritune's voice demanded, jealousy soaked into every pore of her tone.
How dare Xie-kuh call that rotting piece of flesh mother. The jealously made her eyes burn a bright green. The assistant that was with her, bit her lip.
"I am doing my Master's bidding." He turned toward her, any trace of emotion that had been able to escape earlier was gone. His voice was monotone, and emotionless.
"Sidious may be your Master, but I gave you life." She hissed, her body tensing.
"He is not my Master." Xie-kuh suddenly smiled, as his eyes narrowed and focused on the Doctor.
Ritune took a step back, bumping into her assistant who was hiding behind her. The smile startled her. It was so unnatural and cold.
The youth extended his hand toward her, sending the Force to wrap around the woman. He closed his fist and pulled Ritune into the room so fast, she was pulled from her shoes. The frightened assistant jumped backward, closing her eyes and holding the stack of papers to her face, between her and the room.
She heard the hatch shut and bravely she opened her eyes, finding herself alone in the dark hallway. Her heart beat at a merciless pace.
"Doctor Ritune?" her unsettled voice echoed in the hallway. She strained her hearing to listen for a response.
A subtle patter of something walking toward her, caused her to nervously shake. The steps were to close together to be a human...
A low snarl rumbled through the hallway, causing the assistant to shriek in fear.
She took a step backward, her high heels tripping her, she crashed to the ground, her papers flying everywhere.
The massive black form of Kun appeared in the darkness, his lips pulled back revealing his over sized canines.
"Oh gods..." The assistant whispered, then screamed out in agony as Kun leapt forward pinning her to the ground.
His teeth ripped into her flesh, and her cries of pain became gargled as he clamped down on her throat and proceeded to tear her body asunder.
Obi-wan awoke from a terrifying dream, the sweat had gathered on his brow, his breathing was relentless as he tried to calm himself.
"Force Kenobi! You scared me" Jace shouted out, as she had thrown herself to the wall of the community sleep room from his sudden awareness. She didn't even know he was in the room, he had always kept himself so tightly shielded that it was hard for her to sense his presences.
Obi-wan looked around the darkened room, breathing out a sigh of relief. It wasn't so much as a nightmare, but the feeling of someone, something terrible.
"I didn't mean to frighten you..." Obi-wan kicked the covers off his legs, swinging his feet to the floor, he looked at her, smiling softly.
Jace shuttered with glee. That smile had always made her feel like jelly and she would gladly walk off a cliff if he asked her to. He was so perfect, so exquisitely pretty.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"Staring? I'm not staring..." She said quickly, nervously removing her eyes to study her finger nails.
"And as you can see, I don't sleep nude..." He couldn't help but add that in.
The padawan's face turned a bright red, and she could feel the heat rushing to her face.
"I, uh...I have to go do...something that I forgot to do..." She squeaked in embarrassment, and rushed out the door.
A rich laughter spilled from Obi-wan. It was such a good feeling, he wished that he could of laughed all day. Quickly however, it faded leaving the Jedi alone.
He felt the tug at the edge of his mind. He had felt it when the council had told him of this next mission.
They were on their way to Dathomir, that ugly world. The world had been used as a prison colony in the past, and now their descendants were trying to seek help. His lips tightened.
He was to take Master Navari Zhu, and his padawan, Jace Priori to the world. And he was to protect them. He disliked the fact that Navari wasn't here. The healers had been sent to survey the disease that was running rampet among the children of Dathomir.
He inhaled slowly. Navari had waited to leave because the equipment that he needed wasn't ready for the trip, and so he choose to stay behind, and would arrive 3 days later. He had confidence that Obi-wan would look out for his padawan.
Obi-wan however was not as confident. Most Dathomirian's disliked Jedi. They hated any Force user, and would kill them if they had the chance.
Fear was more like it, he thought to himself. There had been several Force users that had been sent to the place, where they took over the colony, shedding blood when ever it so pleased them.
And why shouldn't they? They were superior and superior beings should be feared.
Obi-wan shook his head. Where had that thought come from. He ran his fingers through his damp hair.
These were not the thoughts that Jedi were suppose to have, and why did they seem to come out of the blue. These feelings, these dark feelings seemed to be popping out of no where, with no reason.
The Knight closed his eyes, grasping for the Force to pull himself into a calming meditation. But the Force eluded him.
He growled in frustration and stood up sharply. He grabbed his robe, throwing it around his shoulders carelessly and left the room.
He had failed to meditate during the trip, finding himself even growing angry at the Force for straying away from him.
He felt as if he was loosing his mind.
They had landed on Dathomir with little problems, their host greeting them in the landing bay.
Sedriss Satal was the ruler of Dathomir. He had been a leader in the revolution to unite all the different villages, and once it was done, they placed him on the throne. He was nothing that Obi-wan had imagined.
There in-front of him, in humble robes was a graying old man, smiling and happy. The ruler's hair was thinning, barely covering his bald head. He was hunched over from what was probably a life of back breaking work.
"Welcome! Welcome Jedi! We are most pleased that you have made it to our World safely." His voice was weak and thin.
"Lord Satal." Obi-wan bowed deeply, and Jace followed the cue.
"I am Knight Obi-wan Kenobi, and this is Padawan Jace Priori. Master Healer Zhu will be arriving in a few days with the equipment."
"I am so happy you have come. As is much of the world. Our Children have been dying, and we do not have the means in which to study it." The Elderly Ruler frowned, his sad eyes were a rich chocolate brown.
"I assure you, that we will do everything..."
White hair.
"..in our power to save them." Obi-wan had paused seeing a lock of white hair duck behind a support pillar. He held his gaze steady, his heart pounding awaiting the emotionless face of the Sith to appear.
Sedriss followed the Knights gaze toward the pillar, just as a small round face peeked out from behind it.
"Oh, you'll have to excuse my granddaughter. She is very shy." His voice happily spoke.
"Kika, come. I have Jedi friends for you to meet."
The little girl hesitated for a moment, before stepping out around the white stone pillar.
She was breath taking. Her white hair was pulled back into braids, her little figure dressed in a beautiful red child size gown, black designs embroidered on the velvet material. Her skin looked so soft, and her little round face slightly chubby from the baby fat she still wore.
The five year old slowly walked to grandfather, her eyes cast downward at the stone tiles.
"Kika, this is Knight Kenobi and Padawan Priori." He introduced the little girl to the Jedi.
Slowly she looked up, large golden eyes reflected the light in a dazzling display.
Obi-wan inhaled sharply, he could see the shadow of the Sith outlined in her face.
Quickly he masked his surprise in the resemblance between the two, and quickly removed it from his thoughts. That was impossible, since they were of Dathomir, far away from the Core World.
She smiled shyly at the two Jedi, giving them a childish but graceful bow, which the two Jedi returned.
"That's better. You may go now." And before the last word left his mouth Kika was running back to the pillar of which she was first hiding behind.
Jace laughed softly, remembering that before she became a padawan she use to hide from Master Zhu in much the same way.
"Please follow me." The Dathomir Ruler turned, his old age slowing down his movements.
Obi-wan had thought it odd that there was no guards, no security. The Palace was built from beautiful white marble and from what Obi-wan knew, was built for the Grand Marshal that oversaw the prison world.
The Palace was a stark comparison to the rest of the world. Obi-wan looked out of the windows as he passed by.
The sky was a dirty grey, and clouds were always black because there was only the filtered sunlight to shadow them. The fields of grass were a dark brown. Most of the plant life was dark brown because of the minerals they lived on. Unlike most plants in the galaxy, these did not need sunlight to live. They pulled their nutrition from a protein in the air, and the minerals from the ground.
They had over time, were able to utilize cooking methods that allowed for most of the vegetation to be eaten. And for the imported plants, they were grown in giant greenhouses, with imported soil, and sun lamps.
There was no beautiful sunsets here, only the incroaching darkness to signal the comming night.
The jurnony ended once they arrived in the private meeting hall. The hall looked cozy for its large size, beautiful red and purple throw blankets lined every chair and sofa. There were green ferns placed together in the corners of the room, making it feel more natural and welcoming.
Sedriss waited for the two Jedi to enter before closing the door.
"As I said before, we are very glad that you have made it...we need desperly your help. Our children are dying and we do not know the cause. Not only the children, but the young adults are contracting it but it has proven not to be as deadly as it is with the younglings." He paused, tears on the brim of his old eyes.
"My daughter and her husband went out to look for a cure, but they never came back. Two weeks later, we found their chared remains deep within the forest." His voice shook with the heartache.
Obi-wan placed a hand on the man's shoulder for reassurance.
"We will get to the bottom of this. I promise." He said firmly, yet with the softness of a friend.
"I would like to walk around the village, if that is alright?" Jace looked at Sedriss trying to hide the pity in her eyes.
"Yes that will find. It will give the parents of the village hope that a cure is on it's way." He pulled his earth colored robes close to him.
"If you will excuse me, I am very tired in my old age. When you return, we have rooms waiting for you. Just ask the droid at the front of the palace, and it will show you the way." He bowed, his voice sounding more tired with each word.
Obi-wan kept Jace close to his side as they walked about the village. The spirits of it's people as grey as the ugly worlds sky. The Force made their heart ache with the suffering that fell upon the village. The Jedi felt the despair of parents loosing their children.
The village was in mourning. The Planet was in mourning. The funeral songs sung by the priests and priestess's rose above the pillars of smoke from the bodies. They burned the bodies rather then allowing them to be placed in the above ground graves. The risk was to great of spreading this disease. They had no time to carry out their 12 days of mourning, as it is written in their faith.
The prayer songs were haunting, as the night began to encroach on the village. The soft glows of the fires that seemed to never die out illuminated the glooming darkness.
"NO! MY baby...my baby." The frantic cry of a mother stung the air.
"No! I need more time, please don't take my baby." She grabbed at a man carrying a small body, wrapped in a blanket out of her house.
"Don't let them take our daughter! Our daughter! MY BABY!" The distraught in her voice weaken against the strong arm of her husband holding her back, to allow the undertaker to take the dead child from their house.
Jace pulled her eyes away, looking up to Obi-wan, holding back her tears.
Obi-wan wrapped a cloaked arm around her, comforting his friends padawan.
The mother's tear filled eyes scanned the bystanders, till she saw the two cloaked strangers, her strength returning to her. She tore herself free from her husbands grasp, barreling toward the undertaker in one last desperate attempt to hold her child. The woman grabbed onto the bundle of blankets, her eyes begging the man.
"Please, let me hold her. I beg you." Her words had softened, stifling a sob, her hysteria passed.
Time stood still for a moment as the two looked at each other. The silent deliberation of the undertaker weighting the action on his heart. He swallowed hard and returned the lifeless body of the child to her. She cradled the child so gently, the tears falling on the blanket. Calmly she walked over to the Knight and the Padawan.
"Jedi...I beg of you to listen to me. This is not a sickness. This is murder, someone is murdering our children. Stealing away their souls." Her words were determined, and suddenly strong.
"I have seen it. It came from the woods, it came during the darkness, and stole her soul away." She held her child tighter, her sadness over taking her once more.
"Please stop it before it murders more." She whispered through her sobs, the strong hands of her husband squeezed her shoulders, before turning her away.
"My wife does not know what she speaks of, she is overwhelmed with grief." Her husband spoke softly to the Jedi before pushing her gently to the funeral pyres.
But Obi-wan had felt the soft whisper of the Force telling him that the woman's word spoke true. He looked out toward the darkened forest calling the Force to come to him. He was slightly surprised when it complied with his request. He pushed it out, searching the woods for the evil the woman had spoke of. But he felt nothing.
He shivered, as the Force left him cold.
They had visited the temples, and the massive Funeral pyres. The wails of grief stricken parents gave the funeral prayer songs the haunting background they had heard earlier from the village.
The Jedi had returned to the Palace. They had seen all they had wished to see. Jace had seen more. This was her first field mission in which she had seen such devastation. She had tried so hard to remain strong and calm. But the emotion over flowed once they were in the privacy of the Palace.
She had buried her face into Obi-wan's robe, crying softly as she had been overwhelmed with the emotions and the feelings through the Force.
The visit to the village had left Obi-wan feeling disconnected to the people around him. He too had felt everything through the Force as well, but what he had felt left him wanting more. He tried to comfort the padawan the best he could.
They had retreated to their assigned rooms, both wanting to retain their calm with meditation.
The Force had seem to be normal, as he was able to call the Force to him since they had landed on Dathomir. But there was a difference in it's presence. It's light and warmth had seemed to be dulled, and then there was the odd dark thoughts that had floated around in his head.
He walked to the control center, brining up a secured channel in which he requested to speak to Master Yoda.
"Speak to me, I hear you do." The Masters small form fizzled into shape on the control center.
"Master, I have grave feelings about this mission. I do not feel it is wise for me to stay here. Send someone else to protect Master Zhu, and his padawan."
"Why, Knight Kenobi. What makes you feel ill about this mission?" Yoda inquired about the thoughts of the Jedi.
"Master." Obi-wan drew in a breath, his heart pounding in his ears.
"I have been experiencing thoughts not becoming of a Jedi. Dark thoughts, Master. Dark feelings." Obi-wan put it all out in the open.
The little Master mused quietly about the Knight's confession.
"I do not know why I am having these dark thoughts. They are bold and evil, intruding into my mind. I feel blinded by the emotions they leave behind. As if I can not help myself. I am afraid of what I may do, Master." Obi-wan grew silent, as the realization had hit him as he spoke.
He was falling.
