Wendy: Hey everybody, Wendy Corduroy here. Sorry for the lack of work, we've been experiencing some difficulties over the course of time. Such as…


ZeroFox: *watching the news with everybody and sees something* WHAT THE HELL?! THAT BASTARD! *runs off*

ZeroFox Crew: *watches on the TV as it's a press conference for old cartoonists*

Newsman: And now we have Chester Field, one of the creators of It-

ZeroFox: You bastard! *runs up to the stage* I knew I recognized you! I made you a pasta dinner to mow my lawn back in 1998, but you never did!

Chester: The sauce was too salty!

ZeroFox: Mow my lawn!

Chester: Make me!

ZeroFox: *hops up on stage and proceeds to get into a brawl with Chester*

ZeroFox Crew: *sees everything as Wendy sighs*

Wendy: I'll go get the bail money.

Harlic: Use the Bits account this time.


Wendy: Then….there was another incident…


*setting is a convention as there's a booth to meet Crispin Freeman*

Harlic: *gets up to the table, biting her lip to hold her excitement*

Crispin: Well hi there. What's your name?

Harlic: Harlic Hash Nikan the II Alucard-sama!

Crispin: Wow, that's a mouth full of a name. *sees a poster of Alucard* Ah, you're a big Alucard fan.

Harlic: Only because your voice really brings out his bad assery!

Crispin: Thank you very much. *signs the poster*

Harlic: And this too? *hands Crispin another piece of paper*

Crispin: Eh why not. *signs it but then sees that it's tapped onto something* What…the…*takes the paper off before seeing an official document* Wait a minute, this is a marriage registration form!

Harlic: Now we're legally married Alucard-sama! *quickly gets restrained by security guards and taken away* PLEASE BE THE FATHER OF MY PUPS! I'LL PROMISE TO MAKE MISO SOUP EVERYDAY!

Wendy: *dressed up as Asuka from Evangelion while walking with Poyo, who was dressed like Piccolo* Well…shit. Gonna have to call an Uber now.

Poyo: Hiya.

Wendy: I wonder if they accepted Bits.


Wendy: And then we had another incident. Nobody got arrested but…


*In Strong Bad's house*

Strong Bad: Hey The Cheat, where are you with the pizzas? Strong Sad is gonna wake up from his nap any minute now and that anchovy pizza prank will be ruined.

Poyo: *walks in with a pizza box on his back* Hiya…

Strong Bad: Woah The Cheat! You really let yourself go. Man, you need to layoff the grumblecakes…like immediately.

Poyo: Hiya?

Strong Bad: What do you mean layoff? I mean, look at you. You're round, and orange, and…you're not really The Cheat are you.

Poyo: Hiyaaaa.

Strong Bad: If you're here, where's The Cheat?

*back at the ZeroFox house*

Wendy: *Is going into the fridge to get a bite to eat. Opens the door and gets hit in the face with an anchovy pizza* AAAH MY FACE! WHY?! WHY?!

The Cheat: *sprints out of the fridge and books it*


Wendy: So with that being said, I guess I'll be running the show until we can get a replacement crew in here. Ugh, this sucks man. I better be getting overtime for this. Hey special guest Disclaimer dude, let's get things rolling.

Strong Bad: You can't make me do this! It's a violation of Strong Badia-

Wendy: *holds up an axe*

Strong Bad: Well, you make a fair point. *ahem* THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FANFICTION! GRAVITY FALLS AND ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALEX HIRSCH AND DISNEY. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE! Also the other things belong to their respective creators and what not. Please don't sue.


You know, it just dawned on me.

For the past couple of weeks that those two have been here, I've had quite a few problems and awkward resolutions with Dipper (they were awkward by my standards and for the last time, we did not kiss in the last chapter! That was CPR!).

However I had no problems with Mabel whatsoever. I mean we a few encounters and what not (my back and my foot still remembers those moments…ouch) but nothing like big. That is until recently when she encountered a certain little maniacal boy with a perm that is the envy of grandmas everywhere (you know exactly who I'm talking about to).


*Insert the Gravity Falls Intro Theme*


Chapter 5:

The Hand that Rocks the Mabel


So a couple days later after the 'hunt' for the Gobblewonker, we were all back to our normal routines and such. Stan ran the Mystery Shack, Soos did the utilities, and I manned the register.

Dipper was back to being his dorky, annoying self as he tried to search for the 'paranormal activity' that surrounded Gravity Falls…if there was such. But the worse part was….*sigh*…he tried showing us that there was something going on. When he came back, there were lines he kept using.

Line 1:

"Guys, you're not gonna believe what I saw in the woods!"

He used that about a few times when he came running back in.

And then there was line 2:

"Wendy! You're not gonna believe what I saw in the woods!"

He used that about….oh, I don't know….about every time he came back! (Ugh…why is he always going to me first?!)

Mabel, on the other hand, was busy flirting with pretty much any boy that walked into the store. If it was male and fell in the age range of 11 through 17 (why that age range, I still have no idea), Mabel was all over it. After scaring off a few boys and getting angry glares by their parents, Stan had to pull Mabel aside and tell her to stop. And by pulling Mabel aside and tell her stop, I mean by get the only other female in the Mystery Shack to do it for you.

"Hey Wendy, make with some of the girl talk with Mabel and get her to stop chasing boys. I don't feel like paying off a lawsuit so early into the tourist season."

Yup, lucky me.

"I better be getting overtime for it dude."

"Ha, that's a good one. Overtime, pfft! Ha!"

"Ugh…whatever man."

So one day while it was particular dead, I decided to pull up a stool next to me. "Hey Mabel, you got a minute?"

"Sure, what's up gal pal?"

Meh, I can live with her calling me that.

But before we began our little 'girl-to-girl chat', I had to wait a few minutes for something. Something that you could easily set your watch to at this point

"Hey Wendy, what are you waiting for?"

"Well usually your brother comes in prattling about seeing something in the woods right about now."

Mabel just laughed. "Oh yeah. Well Stan has him doing some errands in town on foot and he won't be back for a loooooooong time according to Grunkle Stan."

…..One girl-to-girl chat coming up for you Stan, on the house (I never felt so grateful to Stan as I did that moment)!

I then looked over to Mabel. "Okay Mabel, personally I think you're a cool girl. You got moxie and I like that."

To be quite honest, I didn't think pupils could grow that big and twinkle like that.

"But, there's a little, teensy problem."

"Aroo?"

"Well first off, I admire your gusto for trying to get a boyfriend and all."

"Hehe, thanks."

"Welcome, but lately-"

"Hey there red, I'm not from around here. Care to give me a-*thud*-WAH! Crazy bitch!"

"You've been a little too aggressive with every boy that comes in here and it's kinda getting to be a nuisance."

"Really?"

"Yup, unfortunately."

(Oh if you were wondering what just happened in the middle of all that, it was some blonde asshole that came in and tried to flirt with me. Without missing a beat, breaking my train of thought, or even looking at the guy, I just pulled out my bowie knife and stabbed the countertop. Hence the 'thud' sound and him calling me a 'crazy bitch' before running out the door. Any who, back to girl-to-girl chat.)

Mabel then let out a love struck sigh. "But there are so many dreamy hunks that walk through that door though."

We then heard a car pull up as we saw a family of 5 got out. There were two boys that got out as they had messy hair, one had a gap in their teeth, and were too busy playing handheld video games and didn't even bother to look up from the screens.

"See…so dreamy."

I actually felt my left eyebrow twitch in disgust. "Yeaaah…dreamy…" I then looked back to Mabel.

Though a part of me did admire her optimism and energy (and at one point, I was kinda like that but that's a whole different story!), I had to put my foot down. "The point is that you need to tone it down before you get into a big mess."

Mabel just did that chuckle of hers, waving her hand as if to brush my last sentence. "I'll be fine. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

I just gave her a sigh. "You could attract a guy who seems sweet at first but turns out to be a douche later on?"

"Highly unlikely," replied Mabel. Then she got a puzzled look on her face. "Uh, what's a douche?"

That was facepalm worthy. But as if I was given a gift from the heavens, Dipper walked through that door…I MEANT THAT AS A DISTRACTION! A DISTRACTION OKAY?!

"Oh god…I hurt all over…"

Apparently he was carrying a bunch of bags as Stan walked into the main area.

"Nice work kiddo. And you didn't spill anything this time. Take 5."

He then casually took all the bags away from Dipper before walking into the back to his office, humming something.

Dipper then looked over to both Mabel and myself. "Oh hey guys. Don't mind me, I'm just gonna go lay down and-"

"Dudes! Come quick!" called Soos, emerging from the back, "I gotta show you something!"

Hmm, must be very important if Soos called for us while on break (I'm not gonna lie, I just wanted an excuse to get off work for a few minutes). So I locked the door, flipped a sign over that said 'Be Back in 10' and then joined Mabel and Dipper as all three of us followed Soos into the back.

He then led us to the TV room as he all just popped a squat on a chair or beanbag. On the screen was that show Tiger-Fist (interesting show, highly recommend it) as Soos looked at us.

"It's almost time for the commercials you guys."

Then as if on cue, we all heard, "Tiger Fist! will return after these messages," before seeing the first commercial.

"Dudes, I saw this commercial the other day and it just blew my mind," whispered Soos, "I just had to show it to you."

We then watched the commercial being played. It was basically saying that our lives were miserable and that a child psychic named Gideon was the key to our happiness (you know exactly the commercial I'm talking about folks. If not, google it) and all that jazz. It also had a warning in it of not to be fooled by the other phony 'man of mystery' as it showed Stan coming out of an outhouse (gonna have to bleach my eyes after that one).

There was a lot of snickering coming from us (well, mostly the Twins and myself) as the commercial finished up, telling us to come on down to visit a place called the 'Tent of Telepathy' tomorrow night and then did that quick speed text disclaimer and audio (uh, who the hell was Carla?).

Soos then turned off the TV as he looked at us. "Pretty weird huh?"

Mabel just giggled. "I'm getting all curiousy inside to check that out."

"Well you better not get too curiousy," growled a voice as we then saw Stan walk in; "That Gideon kid is nothin' but trouble!"

"And how is a used car salesman's kid causing you problems?" I asked, "Other than showing everybody in Gravity Falls of you coming out of an outhouse."

"That explains that random shine coming from that bush!" snapped Stan, "If I catch him again, I'll throw him in the-" He then stopped in mid-rant before coughing to regain his composure as well as train of thought. "Besides that and he's also my biggest competition since last year. He's also taken stuff from me, stuff that I can never ever get back."

"Like a parking spot at the mall?" I asked.

"Hey, it was a good spot and the only spot in the parking lot I didn't have to worry about people scratching my car." Stan then clenched his hands into fists. "He took that plus a sweet nectar gift from the gods away from me."

"You mean a donut from the local donut shop?" asked Soos.

Stan actually shed a tear on that one. "It…It was a fresh Boston crème one too! They said they didn't have any more afterwards!"

Yikes, Stan is going overboard. It also didn't help that whispering to each other were Mabel and Dipper about going to checkout to see if this Gideon kid was psychic.

"What are you two whispering about?" questioned Stan.

"We were gonna go see if Gideon was really psychic," responded Mabel, only to see Dipper facepalm himself, "Oooh, I wasn't supposed to say that huh?"

Stan then gave them, as well as Soos and myself, a stern look. "Not in a million years you two or you two! You're all forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof or works under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof! Capiche?"

The twins just gave him a blank stare, obviously not familiar with that last word.

"You know, Capiche?"

Still a blank stare from the twins.

"Capiche is derived from the Italian word slang word 'capisci.' When translated into English, it means 'Do you understand?' It was used a lot in the 1940s before slowly bleeding into a lot of people's modern day lexicon, obviously those with Italian heritages or those who watched a lot of gangster/mafia movies."

Everybody then just looked at me after I randomly dropped that little information nugget (damn it, I gotta stop doing that).

"What she said," was Stan's response before looking at everybody, "So no one is going to see Gideon, end of story." He then walked out of the room as all four of us stood there.

Then randomly out of nowhere, Dipper just smirked at Mabel.

"Hey, do tents have roofs?"

"I think we just found our loop hole…"

Wow, I guess they have a naughty streak in-

"…literally!" Mabel then randomly held up a string with a loop in it. "Mwop mwop!"

…Okay, back to my post before I lose any more brain cells (that was a bad pun joke anyways!).

So the next night, after work of course, we all snuck out to go meet up with Soos as his place. It felt a little wrong to do this to Stan…but I'll deal with the consequences later.

We all piled into Soos' truck front seat. Wasn't the brightest move since we were squished in like sardines in a can. But curiosity and eagerness definitely outweighed common sense.

"Okay you guys, time to buckle up. After all, safety first," said Soos, struggling to move, "Wow, it's uh…pretty tight in here!"

I just sighed as I-WOAHHOHOHOHOHO!

"Oh, um, sorry Wendy. You were sitting on my seat belt and I was trying to get it without bothering you."

…..

After a few minutes, we were on our way to the Tent of Telepathy. Dipper and Mabel were riding with Soos while I rode in the bed of the truck, trying to come to grips with that fact that I just got goosed by Dipper of all people (I would have rode in the back seat but that would be way too close to him and I wanted to get some distance). Like I couldn't believe that his hand touched my butt. Ergh…if Mabel and Soos weren't there, I'd slug him for that.

*sigh* But…it was accidentally and he did look embarrassed by it…and…

Ughhhhh….let's just get to that tent place quick please before this gets more complicated than it already is!

So it took us like 10 minutes to get to the Tent of Telepathy. Surprisingly enough, it was packed. I mean more packed than at the Mystery Shack (no offense Stan).

"Woah, I think like half the town is here," I commented as Soo parked his truck and we all got out.

"Did everybody see that cheesy commercial?" asked Dipper.

"Well it was pretty snazzy if you ask me," commented Mabel as we walked inside.

We walked up to the cashier girl as Soos paid for our admission (I'll get him back at lunch tomorrow). We got our tickets before going in and taking a seat. Gotta admit, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. However…

"This is so weird. It's like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack."

Not gonna lie, the dork does have a point.

"They even have their own Soos."

Eh…that might be stretching it too far. It's not like they're copying-oh my god, that guy actually does looks exactly like Soos if Soos shaved. Okay, I'm officially a little creeped out. Maybe I just need a drink. A little soda to calm the nerves.

"I'm gonna get something to drink. You guys want anything?"

"Some popcorn would be nice," pipped up Mabel

"I could go for a pretzel," added Dipper

"….."

"Eh, I'll get you another empanada dude."

Apparently Soos and the Soos look-alike were in a glare down of some sort (also, where did Soos get that empanada anyways). I was gonna need some help to carry the food back so…

"Hey Dip-Dip, you're helping me carrying the food."

Dipper just scowled. "Aww, you just gave her a new idea for a nickname."

We both looked over to see Mabel writing 'Dip-Dip' in a small notebook labeled 'Nicknames 4 Bro-Bro.' "Totally gonna use that in July."

I casually shrugged my shoulders. "Your problem, not mine. Come on, let's grab the snacks before the show starts."

So we went over to the snack stand as there were a few people in line. Oh goodie. Meh, wonder what Tambry and the others up to later on?

"Um Wendy."

Maybe we could hit a movie or that laser tag place after this.

"Wendy?"

I'll just quickly send a text and-

"Wendy?"

"What do you want?!"

Dipper just pointed at the snack bar. "We're next."

Wow, don't I feel stupid (and an asshole for that matter but whatever, it's just Dipper).

So we get up to the snack bar and-oh my god, I think I just met my doppelganger.

"Hi, what can I get for you two?"

Dipper coughed as he placed the order for Mabel, myself, and Soos. Me? I was too busy being dumbfounded at the fact that the girl working behind the snack counter looked like me if I was a brunette, no freckles, and had my hair in pigtails (it's just so creepy, brrr!). Not to mention…not to mention that…that…was she checking out Dipper?!

"And how about you cutie? What would you like?"

Cutie?! Dipper?! As if! I (amgonnaripyourtongueoutifyoucallhimthatagain) highly doubt that.

Dipper just rubbed the back of his head, laughing a sheepishly. "I'll take a large pretzel please."

That brunette doppelganger just smiled. "Sure thing." She then went to go to get a pretzel Dipper rubbed the back of his head.

"She seems kind of nice."

"Yeah nice," I replied as the brunette doppelganger came back with a pretzel.

"Here you go, one pretzel for the cutie."

…..I think (theywon'tfindthebodywhenI'mdonewithyou) I'm going to throw up.

So I just slapped $30 onto the table, told her to keep (yourgrimeylittleeyesandpawsoffhim) the change, and walked away from her.

Dipper just looked at the brunette doppelganger, who was busy waving good bye at him as he waved bye back.

I just simple (beganplottingherinevitabledemiseifIeversawheragain) rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

We then made it back to the others as Dipper and I handed out the snacks before sitting down.

While we sat and waited for the show to begin, I was sipping my soda and…

…..OH MY GOD, I GOT ACTUALLY GOT PISSED BECAUSE THAT BRUNETTE FLIRTING WITH DIPPER?! I WAS ACTUAL JEALOUS?! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

"Oh my gosh, it's starting!" beamed Soos and Mabel as the lights then went dim.

Dipper then looked to me, giving me this joking smirk. "Okay, let's see what this Gideon fellow that's gotten Stan all ticked off."

I just snapped back into reality before raising an eyebrow at him. "It's starting right now?"

"Shhhh!" hissed Soos and Mabel, as well as a few assholes near us.

The curtain pulled up to reveal...to reveal…to…is that a child in a suit? You've got to be kidding me! Jeez, he looks so pale and that hair. Not even old ladies have hair like that.

"Aww, he looks so widdle," cooed Mabel.

Dipper, on the other hand, didn't think the same thing.

"That's what's gotten Stan's ticked off about?" he asked, "Wow…I think Grunkle Stan might have been overreacting a bit."

"You know, this is one of the rare times that I'll agree with you Dorker," I whispered back.

Gideon then cleared his throat before speaking to the audience.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight! Such a gift."

Wow, I nearly threw up in my mouth on that one.

"I have a vision right now," he said, "I predict that you will soon all say, "aww" very shortly." He then did this mini twirl before turning to face us, doing those Bambi eyes and fluttering them at us.

Everybody in the audience went 'aww'. Everybody…except two people that is.

"Boring."

"Not impressed."

Just then Gideon turned to his right as we all saw his father, Bud Gleeful, at a piano. "Hit it dad!"

Bud just started to play the piano as well as had like a few other band members join in and began to play…are they seriously playing evangelical church music?!

" Oh, I can see, what others can't see

It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability "

Oh goodie, a cheesy song. Hooray, how exciting….

" Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined

And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me! "

I can see myself exiting the door soon.

" Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going! "

That's it I'm-WOAH!

"Dude, why are we standing?!"

"How should I know Wendy?!"

Gideon then hopped off the stage and started to mingle with the audience, who seemed very enthralled and getting into it.

He then went up to some elderly woman with a cat on her lap.

" You wish your son would call you more! "

The elderly woman simply nodded her head. "I'm going to leave everything to my cats."

The cat simply meowed in compliance.

Gideon then went up to…Sheriff Blubs?! What the hell is he doing here?!

" I've sense that you've been here before! "

"Oh what gave it away?" asked Blubs, who happened to be covered in head-to-toe with Tent of Telepathy merchandise (wow, just wow).

My jaw dropped in the sheer amount of bullshit I just witnessed. Dipper was in the same boat as me.

"Oh come on! Really?!"

Then, Gideon came our way as he stopped in front of…Mabel?

" I'll read your mind if I'm able

Something tells me you're named Mabel "

I didn't think it was possible but Mabel was absolutely shell-shocked.

"How'd he do that?"

Both Dipper and mine jaw dropped even more as on Mabel's sweater was her *pucking* name in big bold letters on her chest.

Gideon then did a bunch of backflips before landing on the stage as he smiled at everybody.

" So welcome all ye…to the Tent of Telepathy! "

He then stopped singing as he then got that creepy Bambi eyes look on his face.

"And thanks for visiting…widdle ol' me."

It took a few seconds before then everybody saw him sweating profusely and panting hard as some of the stage hands rushed over to check on him and bring him some water. The curtain then dropped as the crowd just erupted with cheer as if they had seen the greatest thing ever.

However amidst the crowd, there were two people laughing there head's off at Gideon. Yours truly…and…Dipper? Wow, didn't see that one coming.

We then heard on Bud speak on the intercom.

"There'll be a meet 'n greet in just a few minutes folks. Be sure to get whatever you want signed, includin' any Tent of Telepathy merchandise, n' Gideon will be ready to sign it or take a picture wit' you."

Everybody rushed over to the merchandise booth as I just looked at the others. "I'm gonna bounce."

"And miss the meet and greet?" asked Soos.

"Yup. Tell me how it went tomorrow."

With that, I made my way to the exit of the tent and just head on outside.

Once outside, I got out my phone and saw I had a text from Tambry.

'Yo Wendy'

'What up Tam?' Send.

My phone then got a message back.

'At that Tent of Telepathy wit Thompson.'

'No way. I'm outside the ToT right now.' Send.

My phone then got another message back.

'Sweet. Just waiting on Thompson n we'll meet u in a few.'

'Awesome. See ya in a bit.' Send.

I then pocketed my phone as then out of nowhere, I saw Dipper exit the tent. I couldn't help but smirk.

"Did Stan find out that you're here?" I asked.

He then turned to see me before….before chuckling?

"To be honest, I'd take a lecture from Stan than spend another minute in that tent."

He then walked over to me, fixing his hat and vest. "I mean, come on! That wasn't psychic at all. He just made quick observations and just ad-libbed them into his cheesy song." He then let out another chuckle. "I can see why Stan's jealous. That kid's a bigger showboat than he is. Guess Stan's ego isn't a big fan of that."

I don't know why but…but…I just let out a small chuckle.

"I know right. I mean, Stan's stuff is so much believable and he just super glues stuff onto stuffed animals and objects."

We then looked to see a poster of Gideon nearby with a big smile on his face.

"I wish Stan would glue Gideon's mouth shut. Be totally worth the price of admission," joked Dipper.

…pfft…*snerk*…*snerk*…

Out of nowhere, we both just let out this loud laughter that last a few minutes. I mean, that would be hilarious to see Stan glue Gideon's mouth shut. It would make things so much better!

After a few minutes of laughing, we stopped as then Dipper looked at me. "Well I better head back inside and make sure Soos didn't buy anything for Stan. We gotta cover our tracks you know."

"Oh yeah, otherwise he'll just bitch and bitch and bitch some more like a high school girl," I replied back, inducing a small hearty chuckle from the both of us.

"Later."

"Later dude."

Dipper then ducked back inside the tent as I just stood there. Then it dawned on me what just happened.

I mean, we just had our first conversation and there was no mention of the supernatural, no outside annoyances, no Stan, no Mabel, no…nothing. Just us two shooting the shit and having fun doing it. It was….kind of fun. Maybe…just maybe…he isn't such an annoying dork. Maybe he's…pretty cool once you get to know him...I guess.

A few minutes later, I saw Tambry and Thompson come out of the tent. Surprisingly enough, Tambry was on her phone as Thompson was carrying a Gideon plushie and a poster while wearing a Gideon wig hat.

"Hey Wendy! You came to the Tent of Telepathy too?" asked Thompson.

"Yeah, I saw it on TV and I needed a good laugh," I casually replied.

Thompson just laughed. "Are you kidding, it was awesome! That Gideon kid was so talented. I can't believe such a widdle, adorable guy is a psychic."

Tambry just let out an 'ugh' sound before rolling her eyes.

"So what brought you to the Tent of Telepathy?" I asked her.

"Thompson needed the company."

"Yeah. Thanks Tambry, you're the best," said Thompson as patted her on the back.

"Don't touch me please."

"Sorry." Thompson then looked at me. "I was gonna round up Lee, Nate, and Robbie and head to the drive-in? You want in?"

"Hell yeah dude," I replied, "Let's head on out."

Tambry looked up and grinned. "Awesome."

We then loaded up into Thompson's van before driving off to pick up the others.

However along the way, I just couldn't get what happened between myself and Dipper. Was it because I was starting to get used to him? Was I actually opening my eyes to see how chill he really is? What was it? (Sure as hell wasn't jealousy because of that brunette…oh bite me, it wasn't!) Still I wondered was it going to be just a one-time thing or…or maybe it could be the start of something…who knows? Who knows?

So the next day came as we were back at the Mystery Shack doing our own thing whether it was work, trying to work, or-

"Hey guys, check it out! I bedazzled my entire face! Blink…Ow…"

-bedazzling your entire face (is that even safe to do?).

"Is…Is that permanent?" asked Dipper, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe. Blink…Ow…"

Well I won't lie. I'm a little impressed by Mabel. It must take real talent to bedazzle your entire face including the eyelids. Also, I'm a little concerned given the fact that sooner or later, that's all gonna have to come off or she'll end up as Mystery Shack attraction.

Just then there was a knock on the door followed by the doorbell ringing.

Wait? Why is somebody ringing on the…wait, that's right. The Mystery Shack is also Stan's home. That explains why Stan's just walking around in his sleeveless under shirt and boxers. Now if you excuse I'm about to go bedazzle my eyes so I would never have to see that again. 😃

"I got it," hollered Mabel as she went to the front door.

Me, I just went back to…to…wait, what was I doing again? Meh, I'm probably still on break or something. Yeah, that sounds about right. Off to the back to grab a snack.

Unfortunately, at the fridge…was Stan. Stan in all of his glory…

….

….

….

Well break time was over, back to working the register.

"Hey, who's at the door?" asked Stan, turning to face me.

"I don't know dude but put on a pair of pants please!" I replied back, covering my face to prevent even more mental scarring.

Stan just rolled his eyes. "A man's home is his castle. He is to be free and-wow, that's the fastest I've seen her get back to work. Meh, there is hope for her after all. Not for you Mr. Turkey club! *CHOMP* *CHOMP*"

Meanwhile, Dipper walked back into the main area of the Shack as he just happened to pass by a redhead with her face inside a random magazine at the counter, trying so desperately hard to forget the horrible sight she just saw.

"He started to give the 'a man's home is his house' didn't he?"

"Yup and we shall never speak of it…ever."

"Fair enough…by the way? Where's Mabel?"

"Dude, she probably took a walk somewhere…actually that sounds like a good idea. Be back in 10. Watch my post. Cool. Thanks. Later." And off I went for a quick stroll.

After take the time to clear my head and burn any mental images I didn't want to have, I strolled back into the Mystery Shack only to find…to find…to…find…Wow.

"Hey Dorker, who's the girl with the perm and nails and makeup and-that's Mabel under all that, isn't it."

I only saw a nod from Dipper and then a big grin by the star of the hour.

"Yup, I look like a wolverine. Rawr Rawr Rawr! Hiss!"

Out of nowhere, Stan just ran out of the Mystery Shack, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"THERE'S A WOLVERINE IN MY HOUSE! SOMEBODY CALL 911 OR THE LOCAL NEWS ASAP!"

Please tell me I won't act like that when I'm that old. But there was a million dollar question that had to be asked.

"So Mabel, where did you get the new look?"

"Oh, Gideon wanted to discuss something with me and we did it over getting my nails and our hairs done at the beauty salon." Mabel then giggled. "He's such a little dapper man."

Right, dapper. Knew something was wrong with him.

"Um, Mabel…don't you think that Stan will blow his gasket if he finds out you're hanging out with Gideon?" asked Dipper, a hint of concern in his voice.

"You're not gonna nark on her man, are you?" I asked.

"No, I'm not gonna…wait, nark? How old are you?"

Before a fist was thrown and connected with a face (hey, he broke one of the taboos of women! He deserved it!), Mabel just cleared her throat.

"Relax, it's just a play date. I mean, I really don't have many people to hang out with and do girly stuff."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Dipper.

"I mean, Stan is busy doing Grunkle stuff, Wendy has her friends she hangs with and do Wendy stuff, and you got Soos to do guy stuff with."

Dipper just that 'pssh' sound and that 'pssh' motion with his hand. "That's nonsense."

Then as if on cue, Soos just ran into the room.

"Dipper dude, I just bought this plump hot dogs that are about to expire. Wanna pop them one at a time in the microwave on full blast?"

Instinctively, Dipper did a big grin. "Heck yeah! Wooo!"

He then ran off with Soos as they head into the back. The next thing Mabel and I heard were the sounds of the microwave going, the sound of hotdogs exploding, and then the chanting of 'One-at-a-time! One-at-a-time!' being chanted repeatedly.

"Well looks like Hotdog Sensei and his pupil are gonna be busy for a while, you want to grab-"

Suddenly my phone went off as I stopped what I was saying before taking the call.

"Yo, what up Robbie. Huh? No way! They did what?! Ha ha, man I wish I was there to see it! You're kidding, they're still going at it?! Dude! I gotta see this."

And like the teenager I am, I punched out before heading out the door.

"Later Mr. Pines be back tomorrow."

I mean, I had a reason to leave. Robbie and Lee were busy trying to wolf down Lazy Susan's Nacho Grande Supreme Nachoes and those things are ginormous. Not even my dad could finish them. Well, off to cheer them on, make fun of them for passing out, and steal a few nachos.

So the next day came by as I walked in at my usual punch-in time before heading to the register. It was a normal day. Customers came by, Stan did his little show, collect their money, and then they left. Rinse and repeat for the next couple of hours. However towards the end of the day, while I was busy decided movies, go-kart, or just go home, I overheard Mabel and Dipper discussing something.

It sounded like they were talking about dates and Gideon and what not. I just rolled my eyes and filed it under 'not my business, not giving a damn'. I mean it's their business right? Who am I to judge? It's not like anything bad is going to happen, right?

Well…the next day…

So on the way to work, I kept hearing a small buzz around town. Something about a big, big date. I just figured they were talking about some celebrity couple or something (probably something dealing with those…Khardasians…you know, that family that's famous for being whores or something. You know exactly who I'm talking about.)

After hearing the buzz going on, it finally got to me. I had to find out what the hell everybody was talking about. So I stopped off at the local gas station to pick up a paper.

*sigh* And of course I was greeted by…

"Hey hey sunshine. Care to brighten up my day?"

"Ugh, bite me Xavier."

….I should really go find another gas station that one of my exs is not working at.

Any who, I got the paper, opened it up and…uh oh…Stan is going to blow his lid.

When I got to the Mystery Shack, I saw Soos pull up next to me.

"Dude, did you see the paper?"

I merely showed Soos the newspaper that I was carrying in my possession.

"So you saw it too?"

I simply nodded my head.

"Oh wow, I didn't think Mabel had it in her."

And neither did Stan…until he found out after 3…2…1…

"HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES! WHAT IS THIS?!"

Yup right on cue. The next thing we know, we saw Stan march into where we were. In his right hand was today's Gravity Falls Gossiper and right on the front page was a random picture of Mabel and Gideon together.

"What the hell is Mabel doing holding hands with that shyster in the newspaper?!"

Of course Soos and I were the only ones there to hear him rant and rave (and curse, heh heh) about it as I just leaned back on my stool, reading my own paper.

"Well she's hanging out with him or something," I casually replied, "Apparently it's like a big deal since everybody in Gravity Fall was talking about it this morning. And according to the papers, they have another date tonight."

Cue another explosion in 3-

"THEY'RE DATING?! MY GREAT NIECE IS DATING GIDEON?!"

Hmm, he was early on that one.

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple," commented Soos, "Mabideon? Gideabel? Ooh! Ooh! How about Magidbeleon!

Uh, Soos. You're not help the situation right-holy shit dude! There's like a gazillion veins on Stan's temple and face right now. I gotta take a picture of this.

"Dipper! Mabel! Front and center!"

As if on cue, the twins appeared right in front of him as they were presented with today's paper.

"What is this? Hmm?!"

Dipper panicked. "Hey don't rope me into this. I didn't know she went on a date. Heck, I told her to not see him in the first place."

"Sellout," hissed Mabel under her breath.

"Nark," I whispered under my own.

Stan then gave Mabel a very angry look of disapproval. "I'll let this slide since you're haven't been here in Gravity Falls for at least a month. But I don't want you dating Gideon."

Mabel just did that 'psshaw' sound effect and that 'psshaw' hand wave. "Don't worry Grunkle Stan. I'll simply just tell Gideon I'm not interested in dating him. How hard can it be?"

Stan's frown then turned upside down….I can't believe I just said that.

"That's more like it. I'll hold your word to it. Come on Soos, I need help getting some things from town."

"You got it Mr. Pines."

Both Stan and Soos then left the Shack to do some errands as I was left with the twins (goddamn it, he left my in charge of babysitting! That crusty old-)

"Mabel, are you nuts?" questioned Dipper, "Why did you lie like that to Stan?"

Huh, come again?

"We both know you have an extremely hard time of saying 'no' to anybody."

Oh that's not good.

Mabel laughed. "Well I'm giving him hints and such that I'm not really interested in it….well….the first time I did…"

Oh boy, this definitely isn't good.

Dipper just rubbed his eyes with his index finger and thumb. "Do you want me to talk to Gideon and say you're not interested?"

…uh, come again? Did I just hear Dipper just seriously ask that?

"I got in under control bro-bro. Relax."

Three weeks later…I mean, the next day…

Yup, back again at the shack. Same shit, different day.

This time it was just Dipper and myself, which has been occurring a little bit too much for my liking. Especially the part where he's just reading some weird book journal thingy with a six-fingered hand on it.

I'll begrudgingly will admit…I uh…was actually curious to know…what he's reading about. So when tourist group left, I decided to ask the only way I could.

"Whattca reading there Dorker?"

Dipper just looked up from his book. "It's something very serious that only we smart city folk can comprehend."

A few weeks ago, that little comment would have garnished a confrontation. But for some odd reason, I just smirked.

"Well then Mr. Cityslicker, whattca readin' in dat der big book of yers?"

Then out of nowhere, we just burst out laughing at my really, really horrible impression of a 'country folk.'

"How long have you been practicing that one?" asked Dipper, trying to hold in a snicker.

"Always good to have it in your backpocket," I replied back, "But in all seriousness dude, you've been like staring at that book for a while. What's in it?"

"Well I got a whole summer to figure it out," replied Dipper, "But from what I read, it's like a journal log of some sort."

"Boooring."

"Ah give it a chance Wendy. I mean, who knows what awesome adventures are hidden in here." Dipper then grinned. "After all, don't knock it if you haven't tried it."

Oh my god, we're doing it again. It's like back at the Tent of Telepathy, just us shooting the shit. But I don't know why but what Dipper said to me kinda felt like a double meaning. But why though?

Before I could have another mental debate with myself, we both saw Mabel walk in with a depressed look on her face. Oh boy…

"Let me guess, you tried to say no but it didn't work out."

"It's not that," replied Mabel, "I just don't want to see him sad."

Dipper just sighed.

"Mabel, I just-wait, why do you have a lobster in your arms?" He then shook his head to regain his train of thought after being distracted for a few seconds (though I did have that same thought in my head to). "Do you have another date tonight?"

Mabel nodded her head.

Out of nowhere, Stan walked into the main area again.

"What's going on? I heard 'date' and 'no' and-why do you have a lobster in your arms?"

"Just cause," replied Mabel, putting it in a nearby fish tank.

"Did you get that from Gideon?"

There was a long pause as Mabel slowly nodded her head.

Then Stan exploded.

"That's it! No more mister nice Stan! I'm gonna march down to that Skunk's house, tell him to stay away from you, andmaybestealsomethingfromBudandsabotagehim."

Stan then marched out of the Shack, slamming the door behind him.

Dipper then looked at Mabel. "Why is it so hard for you to say no? It's so simple."

He then turned to look at me.

"Hey Wendy, you want to go on a date tonight?"

"Not even in your dreams," I replied back.

Dipper then looked to Mabel. "See. Simple."

"But what if he gets sad? I like him as a friend and I don't want to lose that."

Oh Mabel, you're too sweet for your own good.

"Just explain it to him," replied Dipper, "Maybe he'll listen to you and understand." He then smiled. "Remember that time when Mom wanted you to try out for soccer?"

"Yeah but I told her no because they wouldn't let me wear my soccer sweater," grumbled Mabel, "What about it?"

"Well you said no to that and Mom understood and didn't push you to do something you didn't want to," explained Dipper, "Just channel that."

Mabel's saddened look the disappeared as she got a determined look on her face. "You're right. I can do this! I can do this! I CAN DO THIS! RAWR!"

Mabel then let out a loud battle cry before running out of the Shack to go find and meet up with Gideon.

Dipper and I just looked at each other and then the door.

"Think she'll go through with it?" I asked.

"Hopefully cause I don't know if I have another pep talk in me at the moment," he replied back, going to the back to continue to read or play video games or do whatever he does (hey, I don't know what the dork does when he's back there. I'm not a stalker).

I just rolled my eyes before continuing to man the register.

Two days later…

(Oh, if you were wondering why two days later, it's because I decided to cash in a day off from work. Yeah, I get those from time to time. I'm not gonna bore you with what I did, just gonna hop right into things.)

Back at work, things were…..normal. Shocking, I know.

Well the only thing that was out of the ordinary was the fact that Mabel was gone for the morning and then came back. However unlike the past few days where she was slowly but surely becoming miserable by the day, she had the biggest smile on her face.

"Hello Mystery Shack crew!"

Ugh…I'm beginning to miss Miserable Mabel. At least she was quiet. But the good news was that Mabel was back to her normal loud, cheerful self. Maybe that pep talk Dipper gave her the other day really worked.

She then saw Soos and Dipper before skipping over to Dipper. She then gave him a big hug.

"Thanks again bro-bro. You're the best."

Mabel then skipped out of the Mystery Shack, humming to herself. It looked a little weird and all but this was Mabel so I figured it was normal for her to do that. But what was starting to make me curious was what she was thanking Dipper for. I was gonna ask but I decided not to. As if I needed to know what was going on. Pfft, I'm not that nosey.

So I ignored it…

I ignored it…

I ignored it…

I ignored it…

I ignored it…

…..UGH! Damn it! I have to know ugh! Grr…I know it's not any of my business but I have to know what happened (damn teenage curiosity!). I'm gonna have to find one of them and figure out what the heck had happened and-why is it so quiet in the Mystery Shack?

Just then Soos walked in from outside, carrying his toolbox. "Phew, that was an easy fix. All I had to do was screw in a little bolt, tighten a lugnut, and-"

"Hey Soos," I called out, kinda interrupting his little play-by-play of what he just did outside, "Have you seen the twins around?"

"Mabel is outside right now," replied Soos, "Also Dipper went out earlier. Something about meeting up with Toby Determined for an interview to discuss supernatural occurrences that may or may not have happened in Gravity Falls. Weird thing is that he's not back yet."

"Wait, then that means…Oh…OH…Grrr!"

Now normal Dipper is the one who sweeps up the floors of the Gravity Shack before Stan decides he's tired from scamming people out of their money and wants to call it a day (aka, closing time). However since Dipper left and hasn't come back…that fun little responsibility…gets bestowed…onto me.

Ergh…if I ever see that dork again, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind for totally ditching me to do his work.

So after I was done sweeping (gonna get him back for this), I decided to step out to get some fresh air. However instead of it being alone on the steps, I ended up seeing (and almost tripping over) Mabel. Before I could say anything, she had a somewhat depressed look on her face and was munching on her hair (before you ask why, I have no idea why either). So I tried to lighten up the mood.

"Hey, how's the hair tastin' buddy?"

Mabel stopped munching before looking at me.

"Hey Wendy, I need advice. You've broken up with guys, right?"

"Yeah. There was Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson, Pysche Wirley, Nate Holt, some dude that was on the football that had a lot of tattooes, Danny Feldman, Mark Epston, Xavier Da…vi…d…son…"

While I was rattling off names, Mabel just looked at me with a stunned look on her face.

"Woah…you dated all those guys?"

I just mentally winced because let's be honest…from an outside person, I sound like went through boyfriends more than a Khardasian (totally gonna use that line later, hehe).

"Well yeah and stuff," I replied back, "But it turns out that they were all egotistical jerks. So I broke up with all of them and been single ever since."

It was the truth. A majority of the guys I dated turned out to be egotistical jerks or decided to chase after other girls behind my back. Worse was whenever an ex saw me with a new boyfriend, they would fight over me like I was some sort of *pucking* trophy (UGH! I HATE THAT SO *PUCKING* MUCH!).

"Were any of them weird or like a little too clingy for your liking?"

"A few (especially Xavier) were," I replied back, "Why'd you ask? Was Gideon like that or something?"

A few nods of the head by Mabel answered that question. I couldn't help but mentally wince (as well as plot Gideon's downfall) after hearing that.

Then Mabel turned to look at me.

"Hey Wendy?"

"Yeah?"

"Was it the right move to let Dipper to break up with Gideon for me? I mean, I thought if I let him do that then things would be back to normal. But I feel so gross and icky and I don't know why."

That's why she was so happy before! Ugh! I can't believe Dipper did such a bonehead move that…that…wow…actually that was pretty bold of him really. I mean yeah, you can't send somebody else in your stead to break up somebody. But…that was…pretty rad of him doing that for Mabel.

I just looked back at Mabel before then giving her a dose of some good ol' fashion Corduroy advice.

"I'm gonna level with you Mabel. I know he had the best intentions but sending Dipper to break up with Gideon for you wasn't the best thing to do. I mean there are gonna be times where you can't fall back on him to help you. There are things that only Mabel can do and right now breaking up with Gideon was one of them. You get what I'm sayin'?"

For a few seconds, Mabel was processing what I just said to her. I mean yeah, it was a little blunt and could be considered harsh and insensitive by some.

"Hey Wendy…"

But sometimes you need a little kick in the right direction.

"You're right. I should have been the one to give Gideon an honest break-up instead of making Dipper do it." She then hopped off the stairs before puffing out her chest (not gonna lie, it looked very adorable). "I'm gonna go find Gideon and tell him the truth."

Mabel then took off before stopping just a few yards from me. She then looked at my direction and then giggled.

"Heh heh, that's the first time I heard you call bro-bro by his name. You must like him now huh."

I wanted to say no but I just found myself grinning back.

"Just go already will ya."

Mabel then took off as I just got up to stretch my back. I casually brushed off Mabel's last comment as a joke before going back inside to punch out. But as I was doing so, I could only look back at the door and sigh.

"Hope everything goes well with you Mabel. And…well…hope you're not stuck in the middle Dipper."

Next day at the shack,

Yup back at my boring job. Whoopie. I'm grabbing my summer life by the horns. Just chilling here while cashing out tourists who just keep pissing their money away buying knick knacks and crap.

Just then Mabel came walking in before coming behind the register counter. Out of nowhere, she just gave me a big hug before letting go after a few seconds.

"Thanks for the pep talk yesterday."

"You're welcome," I replied back.

"I feel so much better that I personally broke up Gideon. He was a complete jerk anyways. Now I gotta make like a banana and split over to the store to buy things for Grunkle Stan. Whomp whomp."

Mabel then head out the door as I just rubbed the back of my head, smiling. Glad that worked out for her.

Dipper then came into the shack as he…holy shit dude!

"Dude, where the hell did you get that shiner from?! Did you get that in fight? Was it from Gideon?"

Then for some odd reason, I went full Chernobyl.

"It was Gideon, that little shit! If I ever see him, I'm going to shave him bald and wear him like a *pucking* boot!"

He then just looked at me before sheepishly grinning.

"I would definitely love to see that," he replied, "But I got this from…walking into…a tree…"

I raised an eyebrow.

"You're not covering anything up are you?"

Dipper shook his head. "I was busy reading my journal and then when I looked up, bam. Pretty clumsy huh." He then did another chuckle as I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, that does sound clumsy."

Then out of nowhere, Dipper placed his journal on the counter before taking his shirt off (ugh dude! You could have just pulled it up! I didn't want to see…wow…that's a smooth chest) to reveal a giant bruise on his chest. "This is from Gideon."

*Ahem* Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to nuclear in 3…2…

"We had a discussion yesterday and settled it like gentlemen. No need to worry. I don't think he's gonna be trying to woo Mabel anytime soon."

Ladies and gentlemen, we were able to avert the meltdown. I repeat, we were able to avert the meltdown.

Dipper then put his shirt back on before grabbing his journal.

"Well I better take care of this before Stan thinks I got it in a fight and has me do boxing lessons."

He then walked away as I stood there behind the counter. I admit, I was experiencing some mixed feelings. On one hand, I wanted to tell him off on how thick-headed he was especially for getting into a scrum with Gideon (tch, 'discussion' my ass!). But on the other hand, it was pretty rad that he stuck up for his sister like that. I mean, he could have just ignored it but he didn't. That's actually pretty cool. Maybe he isn't such a little dork after all.

Then it kicked in that Dipper took his shirt off in front of me and I got a full glimpse of it.

…..

…..

…..

…and that's when my nose started to bleed profoundly.


Wendy: Ugh…that was exhausting.

Poyo: Hiya.

*suddenly both of them sees ZeroFox walk in*

Wendy: Wow, they let you out of jail already?

ZeroFox: Sort of…I mean I paid the bail and all. But as part of my probation, I gotta wear this shock collar on my neck. *reveals a shock collar on his neck*

Wendy: *is struggling not to laugh*

Poyo: Hiya?

ZeroFox: Well actually little guy…you…you don't want to- *gets cut off by a loud zap sound followed by a moan*

Harlic's voice: *zap* Oh yes Alucard-sama! Punish me more! *zap*

ZeroFox: Shit! END IT BEFORE OUR RATINGS GO UP! END IT NOW!