Winter in the valley was frigid but absolutely stunning. Cascaded with snow, even with the barren trees, it was a sight to Maeve, who had lived in the city her entire life. She had only been to the valley during summers as a child, the winters a story her grandfather would tell her on those warm nights. While she couldn't grow any crops, nor could her chickens get out in the snow, she found herself fishing quite a bit. Still not ready to return to the mines yet, she hoped she would be soon.
Jas and Vincent loved building snowmen and making snow angels, as well as pelting each other, Maeve, and Shane with snowballs. Sam would join them in fights, too, urging Sebastian and Abigail to play along. Penny would sometimes join when she would drop them off from school. Vincent was excited even more so than usual because their father, Kent, was returning from the war in Spring; Sam, however, was nervous. Regardless, he was his same playful self.
Shane was doing much better, therapy a godsend to those close to him... and to himself. He had learned to open up more and accept the help that was being given, as hard as it was for him to do so. Opening up at first was a task that left him deflated and defeated, as well as irritated; yet, breaking down that wall was when he realized just how much he needed to let it be torn down. He was a better person to everyone, less hostile and more gentle. There were still days he struggled, one or two here and there in which he barely made it out of bed, but it was on those days where Maeve really pulled through. Without him having to utter a word, she would show up when her work was done, homemade chili poppers or pizza in her hands, and the two would simply eat together in his room, Jas sometimes with them. Every once in a while, he would become quiet so as to not outwardly express his depression, which had a tendency to come out as rudeness or self-deprecation. However, when those moments would happen, Maeve took it with grace and understanding. Even Jas and Marnie understood, not fussing, or in Jas' case, not becoming upset.
It was a turnaround, a breath of fresh air.
XXXXXX
Harvey put the stethoscope against Shane's bare chest, listening to his heart and lungs as Shane breathed in deeply. After a moment, he took it away and turned to Shane's chart to write down something.
"Definitely bronchitis with pleurisy."
Shane coughed, wheezing a bit. "Pleurisy?"
"Infection in the lining of your lungs," Harvey explained. He wrote down a prescription and held it to Shane. "It's why it's hurting so badly when you breathe and cough. Do what I have written down here, and you'll be fine."
Shane looked at the writing on the paper. "How can Pierre even read this chicken scratch?"
"Your thumb been hurting any more?"
Shane looked away from the paper to his stub of a thumb. "Nah. It's fine."
Harvey nodded. "Good. I was worried about lasting pain because of the monster blood making it infected."
"Thanks for not telling Maeve, by the way," Shane smiled. "She was already beating herself up, and that would've made it even worse for her."
Harvey raised his hand, as though telling Shane to not worry about it. The last thing Shane wanted for Maeve to learn during her injury was that the monster blood she was covered in was the actual reason for him losing part of his thumb. He'd asked Harvey to keep it a secret between the two of them, grateful he had taken his suggestion to heart. He and Harvey had become closer during... everything. Finally, he had a friend outside his past life.
"Try to take it easy for a while, okay? If you can't physically make it to your therapy sessions, at least call."
"I will. They've been helping, Harvey. Truly."
Harvey gave him a soft smile. "Go on home. Get some rest."
XXXXXX
Maeve had his prescription filled at Pierre's and brought it to the ranch herself. Marnie was fixing potato soup for them, a godsend on such a cold winter day. While Marnie was cooking, Jas played dolls with Maeve, Shane watching them from Jas' bed. His cough was awful, and his wheezing afterwards was even worse than that. Jas put a bandaid on his Adam's apple, along with a kiss sticker, while Maeve gave him some of the cough syrup Harvey had prescribed. It tasted like shit, but it helped. Once the soup was ready, they sat around the dinner table together. Marnie had laid out the dressings: cheese, diced up bacon, and chives. Maeve loaded her soup down with cheese and bacon, while Jas' only had cheese, and Marnie with everything. Shane, on the other hand, just ate the soup as it was. The warmth of it made his throat feel much better, as it was raw from all the coughing. Once dinner was over, Maeve and Jas helped Marnie clean the kitchen up while Shane went to lay down on his bed. Later, after giving Jas a bath and sending her to bed for Marnie to read a story to her, Maeve entered Shane's room, cough syrup in hand.
"In case you need it later," she informed, setting it on his night stand. Moving over to give her space, Shane patted the place next to him; she climbed in bed beside him and felt his forehead. "You're burning up."
"I just took some ibuprofen. It'll kick in soon."
She let out a low hum, and he leaned his head against her chest. Rising and falling as she breathed, he could hear the steady rhythm of her heartbeat and feel her hand as it started running through his hair. For a time, they just sat like this, and he could feel his eyelids start to droop.
"James called earlier."
"Mm."
"They're coming over for Christmas."
"Can Dani make it out this far?"
Warmed by his consideration, she nodded. "She's five months along. She has a while yet." She then let out a long breath. "Dad and Mom are coming with them."
Shane sat up, his eyes focused on Maeve. "So, I'm meeting the parents, huh? Figured it was about time." He could see her chewing on her bottom lip, a common trait she had when she was nervous or saddened. "Hey, what's the matter? I thought me meeting your parents was a good thing."
"Oh, my dad, sure," Maeve nodded. "My mom, though..."
It wasn't a secret to Shane that she and her mom didn't see eye to eye. She never talked about her, and when she asked James about her, all he would say was that, "Mom is Mom," giving Maeve all the explanation she needed. All the while, he chose not to ask; if she wanted to talk about it, she would. It was not his place to pry. She trusted him, and he would be damned if he broke that trust.
She turned to him. "My mom's a drunk, Shane. A belligerent drunk. She can't function without alcohol in her system." When he didn't say anything, she kept going. "You remember me telling you about Tyler beating the shit outta me at my home? Mom was there. Mom was inside. She was just too wasted to be bothered to save me."
The words hit him hard. His stomach flipped, and he instantly took hold of her hand. "...Fuck, Maeve."
"Yeah. Fuck is right," Maeve agreed.
"What started it?"
She watched his fingers as they traced up and down her own fingers. "I had a twin brother named Matthew. He died from SIDS, while I kept on truckin'. Apparently, my mom couldn't find a reason to love me after that."
"That's not true."
"Oh?" she asked. "What mom would abandon her infant daughter and blame her for her son's death. My mom couldn't understand why Matthew died and why I kept living. I don't understand it, either, but that's the luck of the draw, I guess. It sucks, sure. I wonder from time to time what it would've been like had Matthew still been alive. If Mom would've been a drunk. If Dad would've been in a happy marriage. If Tyler would have hurt me." She shrugged. "Anyway, I felt like warning you, in case she shows up with alcohol."
Shane held her hand tighter. It was obvious that her mother coming up would be an awkward and difficult situation for her, and yet she was more concerned with Shane's well-being than her own. It was just like her.
"Why hasn't your dad left yet?"
She shifted in the bed. "My dad is too nice for his own good. To be honest, he's what is keeping her alive. She'd be dead by now if not for him." She sighed and leaned her head on Shane's shoulder. "I don't wanna talk about my mom anymore."
"No problem."
They spent the next while talking about random things, Shane mostly doing the listening. Maeve was finally getting enough money to where she could buy a couple of cows, and she was excited for that. She talked about Linus, how she was probably going to invite him over Christmas Eve and fix him a hot meal, as well as get him a present. When Shane said he would be there and get Linus something, too, it made her heart soar. To Shane, it didn't matter what she talked about. He could just listen to her and feel better, no matter what he was going through or how sick he felt. She had a calming effect that was indescribable, and more than not, she had no idea. Everyone spoke of the way she made them smile or feel as though they were important to her- and knowing her, they were important.
He fell asleep soundly. When he awoke the next morning, she was already gone to take care of her chickens.
XXXXXX
Therapy days were always a hit or miss when it came to Shane's mood afterwards.
He hated talking about the past, but would admit it was doing him some good. Regardless, whenever the therapist brought up extra sensitive topics, it put him a dower mood for hours, or possibly the entire day. On those days, he wouldn't go to Maeve's, instead opting to go straight home. Maeve would show up with pepper poppers or pizza, the two of them lounging around together, either watching movies or playing video games to pass the time. It didn't bother her for a moment, and she hoped that what she did was helping him in the slightest.
When he didn't show up after therapy, she knew it was a bad day. She finished her farm work, went inside to make some pepper poppers (homemade, as they were better tasting and healthier), and showered quickly. Once the pepper poppers were done, she put them in a container and headed over the the ranch. Marnie and Jas weren't there, but the door was unlocked for her, as Marnie knew she would be coming over. It was routine. She opened the door and kicked off her snow boots.
"Shane? I'm here," she called out. No answer. He was still a bit under the weather, so perhaps he was asleep. She took off her coat and hung it up on the coat rack. "Shane?"
"Go home," she heard through his door.
The response surprised her, as it had been a long time since she had heard anger in his tone. It wasn't a suggestion, either, it was a demand. She shook her head, the pepper poppers in her hands as she made her way to his room.
"I know it must've been a bad day, but I brought some pepper poppers. Thought we could-"
The door swung open, Shane standing there with an irritated look about him. His eyes were tired and heavy, and as she examined him, he coughed slightly. The aura around him told her that he was not to be messed with, and she back away a couple of steps.
"I said to go home," he repeated.
Maeve's hold on the Tupperware container tightened. "I heard you, but I won't. If you don't wanna talk, we can just eat and watch movies."
Running his hands through his hair, he huffed. "Just go, Maeve. I don't need your pity."
That remark sent a heat through her body that ran from her head to her toes. "Pity?" She took a step forward. "Is that what you think this is? Pity?"
He growled in frustration, turned around, and slammed his bedroom door in her face. She stood there for a moment or two, shocked and uncertain, before slamming the Tupperware bowl down on the table and knocking loudly on his door.
"Shane. Open this door right now." Nothing. So, she knocked louder. "I mean it. Open the door."
"What part of 'go home' don't you understand?" he asked.
She groaned and put her hands on her hips. "What did I do to deserve this? Huh?" Taking the doorknob in her hand, she started twisting it, but it was locked. "For fuck's sake, Shane. Let me in." Still nothing. She stopped shaking the knob and put her hands on top of her head, taking in a deep breath to calm herself down. Whatever was wrong, she didn't deserve what he was doing, and she would be damned if she was going to let him make her leave. Dropping her hands, she leaned against the door frame. "Fine. When you get through throwing your little tantrum, lemme know. Because I'm not going anywhere."
"You're not a fucking hero, Maeve. Stop pretending to be."
She crossed her arms. "I didn't think caring about my boyfriend was being a hero. I thought it was just a common thing people who care about each other share."
"I can't have you doing this anymore."
"Doing what?"
"This," he spoke through the door. "It's time to stop. It's time for you to go."
Her heart shattered at those words, and her anger turned to ineffable sorrow. "Shane?" Quiescence lingered that was so deafening, her ears rang. She placed her hand on the door and drew closer to it, the words on her lips but her fear making her want to never speak them. "If this is what you want... so be it. But I deserve an explanation, at least." She waited, but no words came. She placed her forehead on the door, her eyes closing. "Was what we shared... did it mean nothing to you?"
"...It meant the world."
"Then... show me by opening your door."
She heard the lock being turned, so she backed away as the door creaked open just enough to let her know she could enter. Shane was sitting on his bed but unable to look at her as she sat next to him. Her chest was heavy, a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes, but she remained calm. As much as she wanted him to look at her, she knew the second he did, she would break. Instead, she folded her hands in her lap and stared at them.
"What happened? I thought we were doing great," she whispered.
"We were."
"Then, what? Why?"
"I can't do it to you anymore."
She rubbed one thumb over the other. "Do what, Shane?"
Seconds passed by, and she could hear the clock on his night stand ticking. He let out a small coughing fit before she felt his hand on top of her hand. "Hold you back."
At this, she tore her eyes away from her hands to focus on him. "Who said you were holding me back?"
He turned to the window, his hand still on her hand. "At therapy today, we got to talking about you. Dr. Howards said I was..." he stopped. She leaned closer to him, showing him that she was listening and wanted to know- deserved to know- what was eating at him.
"What? Were what?"
He finally looked into her eyes. "That I was putting too much strain on you. That I was bringing you down and using you to heal myself, and that you needed to be on your own." He bowed his head. "And he's right."
For a moment, she wasn't sure if she had heard him right. His therapist had said that? What therapist says that to someone who is healing? Who needs reassurance and positivism after facing what Shane has? All she could do was just watch Shane as he struggled with his thoughts and feelings, her brain still processing the words.
"Remember that night we kissed for the first time?" he questioned. "I told you that you made my days better, no matter what?" Slowly, she nodded. "I shouldn't have told you that. God, Maeve, I'm so sorry. I've put so much stock into you and this relationship that I didn't even realize what all it was doing to you. I took you for granted, and I..." He exhaled then took his hand off hers. "I'm sorry. Everything about you is just so pure and wonderful, and I... I..." He shook head head. "I just wanted you. I wanted so much, so fast..." He reached and placed his hand on her cheek, a soft but heartbroken smile on his face that lasted for a brief moment. Once he removed his hand, his smile faded. "Go home, Maeve."
Her mind raced as she sat there, the lump in her throat so tight that she thought she was choking. It was as though time had slowed down but was somehow going too fast at the same time, and she was caught up in the whirlwind. They had come so far, and now, this? She remembered first meeting him, how rude and closed off he was not only to her, but to everyone. Little by little, he had been able to break down those walls, and he had been allowing himself to be happy, to find happiness, with her and those he cared for. She wanted him to feel as though he mattered, because not once in his life had he ever felt that way. She had James, Danielle, and her father, as well as her friends in the city. She had her friends in Pelican Town. He had had no one. He had allowed no one. Her mind finally stopped on one thought, and she stuck on it.
"Do I not get a say?" she asked, her voice at first quiet. She then looked at him. "Does what I think not matter to you?"
He reeled back slightly. "I... Dr. Howards-"
"Dr. Howards can kiss my ass," she interrupted. "He's so wrong about this, on so many levels."
"He's a doctor, Maeve."
"A doctor who knows nothing about me," she insisted. "You have only told him your side, how I've been there, but you haven't told him how you've been there for me." His eyes widened, and she knew she was right. "You listen to what he says, then go off and make this decision without even talking it over with me? To see what I thought or felt?"
"It's not-"
"That's bullshit. Utter bullshit," she spat out. "Last I checked, I was in this relationship, too. Or did you forget that?"
His face was vivid in guilt. "Of course not. I just wanted to do what was best for you."
"What you thought was best for me," she reinterpreted. "Shane, you make me so happy, problems and all. That's what being in a relationship is all about- sharing everything, no matter how good or bad with each other. We've helped each other through so much shit, never judging... When I told you about Tyler, you didn't blame me or say it was my fault for being so trusting and stupid, like everyone else has. When I told you about my mother, you didn't say I was being a selfish daughter for not seeing where she was suffering, too, or that I should try to make amends. You just listened. And fuck, if that didn't mean the world to me." She sat on her knees and scooted closer to him, taking his hands into hers. "What I'm trying to say is... This hasn't been a one-way street. You've been there for me just as much as I have for you."
"That's bullshit, and you know it," Shane rejected. "I tried to kill myself, Maeve."
"So? You've been sure to make me know every day that you're still here. You knew I struggled with it for a while, and you put aside your guilt to make sure I was okay, when you really should have focused on yourself." She rubbed her thumb over the top of his hand. "I don't want to 'go', Shane. I want to stay with you. Can't you see that?"
He took his eyes off her. "You deserve better."
"I know what I deserve, and I deserve you." She put her forehead against his. "I've stayed not because I feel obligated. I've stayed because I care. Because I want to. I'm my own person, Shane. I can leave whenever I want. But I haven't, nor will I." She closed her eyes. "I love you."
The confession took him completely off-guard. "You... what?"
"I love you," she repeated. "Please... don't send me out of your life. I want to be with you."
She felt his hands on her face, and he pulled her away so that they could look at each other. "You mean it? You really love me?"
"Of course I mean it."
"Maeve... I love you, too," he confessed as he kissed her. "I didn't want to do this... I really didn't. But Dr. Howards-"
"Is a fool," Maeve finished. "We're calling tomorrow to get you a different therapist." She threw her arms around him. "Please, talk to me whenever you're in doubt."
"I'm sorry," he said, embracing her back. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"It's okay," she sighed, taking in his scent she was so accustomed to. "I know you want the best for me, but you just couldn't see it was you."
"I'm sorry," he again spoke. He kissed her, saying he was sorry between each kiss. She finally started to giggle, him leaning forward until she was flat on the bed with him kissing her cheeks.
"I forgive you!" she laughed. He turned his head away to cough. "You get me sick, I'll really make you sorry." This made him laugh. "Now, I brought some pepper poppers that are probably cold by now."
He sat up and then pulled her up with him. "You've never eaten cold pepper poppers?" She shook her head. "Aw, man. That's when they're good. Put 'em in the fridge to chomp on the next day- for some reason, they're extra spicy."
She grimaced. "Next, you're gonna tell me pizza is better cold."
"Oh, no, fuck that," he grinned. He stood up and retrieved the pepper poppers from the kitchen, while she turned on the television and put in a movie. She moved the pillows around so they could face the television and be comfortable, and just as Shane sat down next to her, they heard Marnie and Jas come home. She called Jas into the room, and she ran in and jumped up on the bed between them. Marnie brought Jas some popcorn, and the three watched the movie together, snacking and laughing and joking all the while.
XXXXXX
Harvey scowled as he hung up the phone. Maeve had called that morning to tell him about what Dr. Howards had done to Shane, and he was livid. He made his way into his office, and Maru entered the room with a piece of paper with a number on it in her hands. He took it from her, picked up the phone, dialed the number, and heard it ring several times before the receptionist picked up. Maru nodded and left the room to return to the front desk, shutting the door behind her.
"Hi, this is Dr. Harvey. I'd like to ask what the hell kind of practice Dr. Howards is running over there."
XXXXXX
Shane was over, waiting in the living room with Soleil, as the two were going to go the saloon for dinner. It was a test drive to see how he would fare if Maeve's mother brought alcohol over for Christmas; if he could make it through a night at the saloon, he would be all right. It was apparent that he was nervous, but Maeve had all the hope in the world for him, and knew that he was stronger than he thought himself to be. Maeve got out of the shower, drying off her body with the towel and scrunching the water out of her hair. Using the towel to wrap about her body, she then started combing her hair out, gently gliding it through the knots- the door opened, and Shane's reflection appeared beside her in the mirror, holding her phone to her.
"Did James or Dani get a new number?" he asked. "I don't recognize this one."
"Hmm... maybe. James' has been acting up," she shrugged as she took it from him. She swiped to answer and brought it to her ear. "Hello?" In seconds, her face paled, and she put the caller on speaker.
"-found you. Or your new number, anyway. I was wondering where you had gone off, to."
Shane knew. It was Tyler.
"How did you get this number?" she asked, her voice like venom.
"It's not that hard to find people's info anymore, ya know."
"Fuck off," she growled, then hung up. Immediately, she blocked his number, then sighed and leaned back against the wall. Shane's eyes were on her, and she knew he was both worried and pissed. She then smiled at him. "It's fine. I blocked him, so it's okay."
"No, it's not," he argued. "If he found your new number, who's to say he won't find your new address, too." He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him, holding her against his chest. "We should tell the police in the city. Get a restraining order."
"I have one."
"Then he just broke it," Shane addressed. "Call first thing tomorrow morning, Maeve. Or I will."
He kissed her forehead and left her to dry her hair and get ready. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, holding the phone close to her chest. Her heart was beating so fast. Tyler had found her number and had called her. She thought that by going to Stardew Valley, she would be able to live her life how she wanted to, free from his grip and the memories that weighed her down. But it was a lie. Shane must have realized that something was wrong, because he hadn't heard the hairdryer, as he was back in the bathroom.
"Hey. You okay?"
She moved her eyes away from her reflection to him and gave a stiff smile. "Mmhm."
"I know you better than that," he denied, moving closer to her. "Listen, I'll make sure Tyler won't get close to you."
"It's not just that," she sighed, turning to face him. "Shane, I thought I was past all this. Past the memories of what he did... Being able to start my own life... But no. I'm just as scared now as I was back then." Her eyes met his, and he could see the fear and uncertainty that he was not used to associating with Maeve. "I'm scared. I really am scared."
"Maeve..." He wrapped his arms around her. "You forget. You've been in the mines. You've fought monsters that would make a man like him shake in his shoes. You're tougher than you give yourself credit for."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "Plus, you've got me and all of us here. Like hell we're gonna let anything happen to you. You're one of us now, and we take care of our own." He pulled away from her and tapped her chin gently. "Okay?"
"Okay," she agreed reluctantly. "Okay. Okay!" Her face then lit up, making his heart warm. "We've got a date to go on. Lemme get ready."
XXXXXX
Munching on chips and artichoke dip, they sat in a booth at Stardrop Saloon, watching others as they ate and drank their liquor, socializing with each other. She and Shane drank JojaCola and were waiting for their entrees: eggplant Parmesan and dish 'o the sea. Pam was at the bar, talking a storm up to Gus and drinking away. Leah was sitting near the jukebox, enjoying herself and humming along to the tune. Shane and Maeve talked idly, and every once in a while, Maeve would glance long enough at him to see how he was doing. So far, so good, it seemed. They saw Sam, Abigail, and Sebastian walk in, and just as they saw them, they made their way over to the two.
"Whoa, we haven't seen you in here in ages, Shane!" Sam beamed. "Good to see ya!"
"You two on a date?" Abigail smiled.
"Something like that," Maeve answered. "Gonna play pool tonight?"
"As usual," Sebastian nodded. "Guess I'll just have to win again."
Sam scowled. "No, you're not arrogant at all, Sebby."
"Don't call me that," Sebastian grunted.
"You two are free to join us," Sam invited.
"Sam, they're on a date. They don't wanna be around us," Abigail laughed.
"Actually," Shane spoke up, standing to his feet, "pool sounds great." He looked at Gus and pointed to the gaming room, and Gus gave him a thumbs-up to show him he got it. Maeve was elated that Shane was being social and walked with them to the pool table. The first game was Sam against Sebastian, and like usual, Sebastian wiped the floor with him. Abigail never played pool, instead opting to watch. Sebastian chose Shane to play against him, and it was actually a pretty close game, with Sebastian again being the victor. Shane noticed that they- Sam, Abigail, and Sebastian- were good people, despite what he had initially thought. Harvey entered the bar and found them to join in as well. When Shane's and Maeve's food was ready, they ate while watching Sam and Harvey play against each other. Sam won, much to Harvey's chagrin.
Pam came over, beer in her hand, and sat down on the couch next to Shane.
"You kids sure seem to be havin' a good time," she spoke. "Maybe Penny should join you some nights. It would be good for her."
"She's more than welcome, Pam," Maeve smiled. "She's just a little shy, but I'm sure we can get her one of these days."
Pam then looked at Shane. "It's been a while, kid."
"Yeah, it has," Shane nodded.
"Thought you'd forgotten about us here at the saloon. This place was like a second home to you."
They all could see the discomfort in Shane's face. "It was, for a while, yeah."
"Gus tells me you're on the straight 'n narrow."
"Tryin' to be."
Pam laughed. "Well, it wouldn't hurt ya to have a drink here and there to keep us here company. You're not a bad kid, Shane." She took a swing of her beer. "Howzaboutit? First one's on me."
"Thanks, I'm good," Shane rejected. "I've been sober for a couple months now, Pam. I don't wanna botch it so soon into it."
Pam shrugged then rose to her feet. "Fine. More for me, then." She then smiled. "Y'all have fun!"
They watched her as she returned to the bar, and Shane let out a low exhale that only Maeve heard. Sam, Sebastian, Abigail, and Harvey all smiled at him.
"That's boss, Shane," Sam cheered him on.
"Indeed," Harvey agreed. "I now it wasn't easy."
"Believe it or not,"Shane spoke as he took hold of Maeve's hand, "it was."
XXXXXX
Maeve unlocked the door to her house and walked inside, turning around to see Shane wasn't following her. He tightened the scarf around his neck, the cold night air sending chills throughout his body. Maeve leaned on the door, her eyes full of something Shane couldn't quite put his finger on.
"Tonight was great," he said, putting his hands in his coat pocket. "I was really proud of myself."
Maeve nodded. "Mmhm."
"You were right. I am stronger than I give myself credit for."
"Shane."
"Hmm?"
"Stay the night with me tonight."
While he had stayed many nights before, she had never bothered to ask him. He just did. Besides, it wasn't asking. It was a plea. His fists balled in his pockets, and his mouth suddenly got dry.
"Tonight?"
"If you'd like."
His mind was so conflicted. He wanted to- Yoba, did he want to. But he was... He hadn't been with anyone since Natalie, not that that was being with anyone in the first place. But since then, he hadn't been able to perform. He couldn't... Whenever he tried with anyone else, all he could do was remember that night, and it was over. There was nothing to be done. After a while, it just became something he didn't want to do with anyone. Yet, he wanted to with Maeve. Maeve made him want to try. Made him want to feel her, inside and out, to let her know just how beautiful he found her in ways words could not express. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't... done things... to himself thinking about her. But now that the invitation was there, could he?
Cautiously, slowly, he stepped inside, hearing the door close behind him.
"Just make yourself at home, like usual," Maeve casually said. "I'll call Marnie and tell her you'll be here."
He watched her as she walked to get her cell phone. With shaky hands, he removed his coat, scarf, then kicked off his boots, chunks of snow falling onto the floor and beginning to melt inside the warm house. Maeve's muffled voice carried from her bedroom, and as he made his way to the couch, Soleil followed him. She jumped up on the couch, him sitting down next to her, and brushed her head against his hand. Absentmindedly, he pet her, his stubbed thumb running from the top of her head to behind her ears. He thought of everything and nothing. He thought of Maeve.
"-okay?"
Blinking, he looked to see Maeve standing to the side of him, a quizzical look on her face.
"Huh?"
"Are you okay?" she asked. "You seem dazed."
"Y-Yeah. I'm fine."
"You don't seem to be fine," she said, sitting beside him. Soleil jumped off the couch and ran to her food bowl in the kitchen. "What's on your mind?"
"Nothing."
"Shane."
He shook his head. "I'm fine."
She stared at him for a time, then- "We don't have to."
Instantly, he was deflated. Of course she knew. "But I want to."
"You may want to, but your mind is saying otherwise," Maeve smiled at him. "It's okay. We can take it slow."
"Slow?"
"Well, basically, all we've ever done is kiss," Maeve pointed out. "That's first base."
"I've seen you in nothing but a towel, though."
"Okay, so you started to second base, but weren't fast enough, so the pitcher stopped you." He grinned at Maeve's analogy. "It's fine, Shane. We'll get there."
She was so perfect.
And he felt like a damned fool.
