Chapter 8

Saxyguy – Sorry for the long wait for the update folks, (I would be amazed if anyone was actually reading this story regularly…) but some things came up. I actually have the next couple of chapters prewritten I just have to type them and throw them up. So if I still have any fans out there, lemme know! Review and it will inspire me to update more often! I promise!

CLANG! Saxyguy falls to the floor next to the large metal bowl that was thrown at him

Leo – Shame on you! Holding chapters hostage for reviews. You promised yourself you'd never do that

Raaven – I don't think he can hear you… takes a drag from his ever present cigarette

Leo – Well then you give the disclaimer!

Raaven – Fine, fine… None of the three of us own Naruto. For all that I've had almost nothing to do with the writing of this story. Seriously you guys should go check out Saxyguy's other story. I helped write that one and it rocks.

Leo – On to the story.

Early morning the third day

Naruto was still unconscious. Sasuke and Raid were asleep. Sakura babbled on and on about Sasuke's superiority. Jade played with a piece of string.

This is the scene that greeted the Oto team. Dosu captured a squirrel and attached an explosive tag to it; sending it scampering toward the unsuspecting Konoha nin.

In one smooth motion, Jade lashed out with the string in her hands, it lengthened and lassoed the squirrel, and Jade jerked the small mammal back into her lap, ripped off the explosive tag, slapped it onto a kunai and sent is sailing back at the Oto nin.

Kin, Zaku, and Dosu all thought 'How?' before the tag exploded and hurled all three nin into the clearing where Jade knocked them out quickly.

The explosion also had the side effect of waking Naruto, Raid and Sasuke, who immediately noticed the unconscious Oto nin. Raid walked over and began to search them for a scroll while Naruto inspected herself.

"Damn. It wasn't all in my head." Naruto moaned as she looked down and grasped her new "assets", causing Sasuke's nose to burst into a shower of blood, sending him hurtling back into a nearby tree.

All activity came to a screeching halt as Sakura glared daggers as Naruto.

"What?" Naruto asked with a blank look.

"You slut! You did that on purpose!" Sakura shrieked.

"Did what?" Naruto began before she noticed Sasuke fighting a valiant, if losing battle with his own face. Naruto walked over to stand in front of Sasuke.

"You dirty pervert. So what would you do if I did… This?" Naruto shouted as she glomped Sasuke, landing in his lap.

This proved to be too much for the poor boy and he passed out on the spot.

"I've always wanted to see someone do that to him." Naruto said with a laugh. "Never thought it'd be me." 'Damn he smells good.' Naruto thought as she buried her face in Sasuke's shirt.

"Naruto-baka? What are you doing?"Raid asked as Jade tied Sakura up to prevent her from attacking Naruto.

'Oh fuck.'

'Yes. Yes I did.'

'Shut up.' "Nothing. I'm not doing anything. What are we gonna do with those Oto nin?"

'Shut up kitsune no baka.'

As Naruto was arguing with her inner demon, Raid returned to searching the Oto nin.

"Woot! They have the scroll we need!" Raid said holding it aloft.

"Well let's head to the tower." Jade said as she and Sakura gathered what little supplies they had.

"I'll carry Sasuke." Naruto volunteered.

Sakura stiffened and whirled to face Naruto. "You bitch! You just want to grope him while he's helpless!"

"And so what if I do Pinky-chan? What are YOU gonna do about it?" Naruto shot back as she picked up Sasuke and settled him across her back piggy-back style.

'You shut up or I'll never talk to Raid for you.'

'That's what I thought.'

"Come on. Let's stop fighting and finish this damn test." Jade remarked before she leaped off into the trees.

"Anee-chan no baka! Don't go off alone! Do you wanna end up like Naru-chan?" Raid shouted as he followed Jade.

Sakura and Naruto glared at each other for a moment and then followed Jade and Raid.

Halfway to the tower

The first thing Sasuke noticed when he began to regain consciousness was that he was pressed up against something soft and warm, so he naturally snuggled closer. His hands came in contact with something, so he squeezed in an effort to find out what it was.

The something in front of him squeaked.

'Hmmm… what's soft and squeaks?' Sasuke wondered as he gave the mysterious objects in his hands another experimental squeeze.

"Sasuke-kun… not that that doesn't feel good but if you don't get your hands off my chest in the next ten seconds, I swear to kami I will drop you, and it's a long way down. Naruto whispered, bringing Sasuke into full awareness.

Sasuke looked down, and upon realizing where his hands were, he blushed a deep scarlet and began to struggle, resulting in Naruto dropping him.

"ACK!" Sasuke shouted as he fell.

"Ack?" Sakura wondered as she turned around to face Naruto. "Where's Sasuke-kun?"

"One hint: gravity."

"You dropped Sasuke-kun?"

"Hey! He groped me!"

"That doesn't mean you should drop him you bitch!"

"You're just mad because it wasn't you he was groping Pinky-chan."

At this point both Jade and Raid rolled their eyes and left to find Sasuke.

Five minutes later

Jade and Raid found Sasuke fairly easily. After all, he couldn't move for being tangled in a fern.

"Sasuke-kun. How on earth did you get that tangled in a fern?"Raid asked.

"I don't know. I swear this thing is carnivorous. Please don't let it eat me. I still have to kill Itachi and revive my clan."

'With Naru-chan.' Sasuke's inner voice said.

'Quiet you.'

Noticing that the plant was in fact a carnivorous fern, Jade looped a long piece of string around Sasuke's wrist. When Raid cut Sasuke loose from a distance with shuriken, Jade jerked Sasuke out of the fern's grasp.

"Sasuke-kun, why didn't you just use a Katon jutsu?"Jade asked curiously.

"I really don't know…"

((A/N: Saxyguy – Probably because the authors are 3vil bastards who love to see others suffer. Leo - Heart))

"Let's go get Naru-chan and Pinky-chan before they kill each other." Jade said leading the way as they all leaped off to rejoin the rest of their team.

Five minutes later

Jade, Raid and Sasuke arrived just in time to see Sakura slap Naruto. There was a brief blur of activity ending with Naruto and Sakura bound with string.

"Evidently this is the only way to get you two children to behave." Jade said sternly. "Sasuke-kun, you carry Naru-chan okay? I'll take Pinky-chan."

"Don't make Sasuke-kun carry that slut! It's obvious he wants to carry memph!" Sakura said as Jade gagged her.

Jade lifted Sakura and tossed her over her shoulder like a sack of grain before heading out for the tower.

Raid stayed behind long enough to help Sasuke get Naruto up on his back before they both followed Jade.

After a while of jumping through trees Naruto spoke to Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun, you can let me down and untie me now."

"No."

"Why not?"

"…"

"Oh I get it. You think I'm gonna do this…" Naruto ground her hips into Sasuke's lower back. "…or this…" Naruto pressed herself flush against Sasuke's back, continuing to grind against him. "…or maybe even this." Naruto finished sliding her bound hands down her front of Sasuke's shirt.

Sasuke let out a soft moan of disappointment as Naruto pulled back a little.

"Well guess what Sasuke-kun." Naruto whispered in his ear.

"What?"

"You were wrong." Naruto said triumphantly.

"Bite me."

"Okay." Naruto responded, placing her mouth at the base of Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke groaned when Naruto began to suck at the flesh between her teeth.

At Sasuke's groan, Raid looked back and noticed that he was flushed and breathing heavily.

"Is Naru-chan to heavy for you Sasuke-kun?" Raid said mockingly.

"No. Just turn around and keep moving."

Just before turning around, Raid noticed what Naruto was actually doing and gave Sasuke a knowing smirk before continuing on toward their destination.

The rest of the way to the tower, Sasuke and Naruto behaved, mostly. All they really did was talk, that and decide they were going to go to a movie after the exam.

At the tower

When team 7 arrived at the tower, they walked in and opened the scrolls, as per Anko's instructions. Then they got to listen to Iruka lecture them again. Finally, they were put in a room with three other people.

Raid immediately sat down and began to read a book.

Sakura asked Sasuke for another date, which he refused.

Jade studied the other team, which consisted of a red haired boy with a huge-ishly gi-normous gourd on his back and black circles under his eyes making him look like a raccoon, a makeup wearing boy with a black body suit on and what appeared to be a body strapped to his back, and a blonde haired girl with an enormously big fan leaned against the wall next to her. Jade then walked over and tried to engage them in friendly conversation.

As Jade walked over to the other nin, Naruto sat down next to Raid, trying to figure out what book he was reading.

"What'cha reading?" Naruto asked, fed up with the silence.

"Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I'm trying to find a way to build a finite improbability device."

"What's that?" Sasuke asked sitting down on Naruto's other side.

"A device that causes all the molecules of a person's undergarments to jump one foot to the left, in accordance with the theory of indeterminacy."

"Why would you want that?" Naruto asked, pulling a face.

'You are the number one prankster ninja in Konoha and you have to ask why I want one?"

'"Oh."

"Raid-kun, if I help you with you project will you make me one?" Sasuke asked.

"Of course Sasuke-kun."

"Now why do you want…? Oh very funny Sasuke-kun.' Naruto began catching Sasuke's lecherous smirk.

With Jade

"I wish you luck in the exam Temari-san; Kankuro-san. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go bug Tanuki-kun… Speaking of which where did he go?" Jade wondered, glancing around the room for Gaara. She saw some sand slither out the window and followed it.

Five minutes later

Jade was currently crouched on an overhang, Gaara was below her, lighting some kind of dried plant in a pipe. He took a huge hit and held it for several seconds before exhaling. When he finished the pipe he refilled it from a small bag hidden in his gourd. After the second pipe he replaced the bag and bowl and stood, preparing to return to the waiting room. As Gaara rose, Jade lowered herself down a string ala Spiderman until she hung directly behind Gaara.

"BOO!"

"GAH!" Gaara shouted as he jumped and spun around, coming face to face with a laughing Jade.

Gaara plopped down where he stood and stared up at Jade. Gaara stared blankly for a few seconds before he spoke. "Whoa… you're all like… hangin' from a string and shit… that's friggin' awesome!"

"What exactly was in that pipe Tanuki-kun?" Jade asked as she dropped down and sat across from Gaara.

"Weed, man. Weed"

Jade glared at Gaara, causing him to shift uncomfortably.

"What? I gotta good reason fer smokin' man. And it's not like it's illegal er anythin'" ((A/N: Saxyguy – My story, my laws. Don't like it don't read.))

"And your excuse is?"

"Shikaku. The pot keeps him outta ma head."

"Right. Likely story. What's a shikaku?"

"Shikaku is da bijuu ji-san had sealed in me." Gaara stated as he showed her the seal on his stomach.

'Great kami! Whoever sealed this did it wrong! Very wrong! No wonder you have to smoke to stay sane!"

"What'cha talkin' 'bout?"

"A one element seal for a bijuu? It's a wonder you're still you!"

"Can ya fix it?"

"I'm not good enough with Fuuinjutsu yet. I only know enough for basic seals and to know that whoever did this did a very bad job." Jade said, pointing at Gaara's seal. "Although I do know someone who can fix it."

Konoha's hotspring

An white-haired elderly man sneezed, causing him to get caught peeping, which resulted in him receiving a severe beating.

"Hrm… Someone's talking about me…"

Gaara and Jade

"Whoa… so he can… like… fix da seal so I don't hafta deal wit' Shikaku? Damn…"

"What do you mean damn?"

"Dat means I wont hava excuse ta smoke no more… I like smokin'"

"Well… like you said earlier, it's not like it's illegal or anything." Jade reminded him as her forgiving nature kicked in.

"You are da first person aside from Nii-san and Nee-san to not condem or judge me fer ma smokin'"

"Well… let's just get back to the waiting room." Jade said as she helped Gaara to his feet.

Leo – Well seeing as how Saxyguy is still unconcsous it falls to me to tell all you mooks to review my story!

Saxyguy walks in with his head wrapped in bandages

Saxyguy – Your story?! I've written every chapter in this story so far! So if anything it's MY story!

Saxyguy's cell phone rings.

Saxyguy – Hello? Oh, hi Raaven. What do you need?

Leo rolls her eyes.

Saxyguy – WHAT?! NO! You can't claim any ownership to this story you haven't written anything! And why are you in Texas?!

Leo – What? When did Raaven skip town?

Saxyguy – Not important. Turns back to his phone and walks out of the room.

Kin – Review and Saxyguy may eventually write a lemon for this fic!

(Saxyguy – And yes before I get a bunch of scathing reviews, I know that Sasuke and Gaara are extreamly OOC in this chapter. Well guess what folks? THEY'RE GONNA STAY THAT WAY AND NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL CHANGE MY MIND! On a more serious note, the explanation for Gaara's OOCness: I went through a period of time where a lot of people hated me, and guess what? I used drugs as an escape! Is I so unbelievable that Gaara, who has a lot more problems than I do, would do the same thing[I am not in any way promoting the use of drugs. They are not only bad but also stupid. Don't say I didn't warn you! As for Sasuke, I don't have a reason for him but if you'll be so kind as to look back at the summery for my story, you'll see that I warned you folks that the OOCness was coming, FROM EVERYONE! That is all and I hope you continue to read and enjoy my story!)