Blah blah Twilight is not mine, Edward is not mine *sobs*
You asked for it and here it is............................
Meeting
It took every ounce of self control I had not to turn around and sprint back to my truck, I must have been insane when I agreed to meet him, yes that was it, I was temporarily consumed with grief and that translated into making rash, stupid decisions. He still hadn't turned around, maybe he couldn't hear me coming, the thought made me grin, no more super vampire senses, we might finally be on an even footing. I briefly wondered whether he was still able to read minds, not that he had ever been able to read mine, but what if he had read other peoples in this town, I just prayed none of them thought about Jacob and I. I stopped a couple of metres away from his back,
"Edward" I said, hearing a slight tremble in my own voice, he turned and swung his legs out from under the table and stood, he was still gorgeous, tall, well sculpted, his hair the same strange shade of bronze, tousled and messy, his skin was still pale, but now there was a slightest tinge of pink to his cheeks, but it was his eyes that made my breath catch in my throat, gone were the dark bruise like circles underneath and gone were the liquid topaz irises, replaced with a vivid green, they were unlike any I had ever seen before, clear and almost sparkling.
"Bella, I'm so glad you're came, I thought you might not show up" was that a hint of embarrassment I saw flush on his face?, he seemed to be quite nervous, at least I wasn't the only one. He walked towards me, catching his toe on a bump in the concrete, stumbling the rest of the distance between us, I couldn't suppress a giggle, Edward Cullen had just tripped, and it was this one small thing that really brought it home to me, he was human again, no longer the infallible, indestructible vampire, I looked up at him, he seemed so vulnerable right now,
"I guess I can no longer pick or your clumsiness, it seems I have been afflicted with the same problem" there it was again, the faint flush of pink in his cheeks, "I can only hope you find it as endearing in me as I in you?" he hesitated, only for a brief moment before taking another step forward, he opened his arms and wrapped them gently around me, I put my hands up to his chest and pushed him away,
"Edward, I just came to talk, please, lets sit down" I gestured back to the picnic table, I looked back up at his face, it was crestfallen, I almost felt sorry for him. We both moved over to the table, I moved around to the other side and sat down opposite him, I folded my hands in front of myself, he mirrored my action, after a moment of awkward silence I cleared my throat and spoke, it came out in a jumble of words,
"I'mseeingsomeone"
"Of course you are, I had no right to think that you would be here waiting for me, I apologise for the assumption I made in my message yesterday, I was just so happy to see you again in the store, I let my emotions get the better of me, I also apologise for scaring you, I'm sure it was quite a shock" he spoke quietly, his eyes filled with sadness,
"May I ask who?, please don't say Mike Newton" I snorted,
"Hell no!, his name is Jacob Black, his dad is good friends with Charlie, they're from the reservation" I wondered if he would make the connection between the name Black and the reservation, of course he had met Jacob's great grandfather, making a treaty with the Quileuetes decades ago,
"Black? I see." his brow furrowed, yes, he had made the connection,
"He knows I dated you, and I know about the werewolves, just so theres no confusion" I added,
"Is he?" he asked in a cold hard voice, it wasn't very becoming,
"Yes he is, I don't have a problem with that fact, and it is irrelevant to this conversation" the last thing I needed was to have to deal with the whole vampire werewolf enemy thing,
"Of course, I am just worried about you, werewolves are very dangerous"
"and vampires aren't?" I asked pointedly,
"I'm sorry, again, I didn't mean to criticise your.........boyfriend" he had trouble saying the last word, "I do seem to be apologising a lot today, but not for what I came back to apologise for, you deserve to know why I left" he took a deep breath,
"I left because I was sure it was the only way I could keep you safe, I realise now that I was horribly mistaken, but after what happened with Jasper, all I could think of was how dangerous it was for you to be near me, it could only end badly, and the mere thought of losing you was more than I could bear, so I left to keep you safe, from me and my world, or more correctly, my old world"
"You left to keep me safe?" I spoke each word slowly, "but you said....." he held his hand up cutting me short,
"I lied, it's as simple as that, I thought it would be better for you that way, that you would have a better chance of moving on, it seems I was right, but I never stopped loving you, the grief nearly killed me, I went to Volterra to see the Volturi, to ask them to end my existence, they refused, but it turns out that there is an ancient ritual, several millennium old actually, that could grant me what I wished" he paused,
"you."
"I'm sorry I don't understand, how can the Volturi give you, me?" I focused in on this part of the conversation, trying to ignore the fact that he had just said that he still loved me,
"the one thing I desired most was you, but I couldn't be near you without putting you in danger, there seemed no way that we could be together, Aro, of course had read my thoughts and had felt every emotion that flowed through my body, he was incredibly moved that I could feel so strongly, and I must have caught him on a charitable day, because he explained to me that I could be with you again if I so wished. Aro explained that there were ancient rituals, they had been around for millennium, and they haven't been used for as long, one such ritual could return me to my human state"
I sat there quiet, I had a thousand questions, but couldn't seem to spit even one syllable out,
"I know, its a lot to take in, I was keen to do it straight away, but Aro wouldn't , he needed time to prepare and also suggested that I talk to my family, in hindsight I guess it was a really big decision to make" he looked up and grinned,
"Of course everyone was on their way over already, Alice had seen everything, we talked for days about the pros and cons, everyone expressed their opinions, some stronger than others" I could hear sadness behind his words, I wondered if his family had been upset over his decision,
"I had already made my mind up, but I wanted to know how they felt about it, because it would affect them too, now that I am human I can no longer live with them, it's been terribly difficult, not having them to talk to every day, I never knew before how much I leaned on them, how much they supported me." I could see his eyes moisten, and it dawned on me,
This was what he meant when he said it cost him an awful lot, he gave up his family for you.
I thought the guilt I felt about seeing Edward behind Jacob's back was bad, but now it was even worse, like a boulder siting in the pit of my stomach, a giant, heavy boulder.
"I'm so sorry Edward, I had no idea, I don't know what to say" I reached my hand over to hold his, I don't know whether it helped or made things worse. His skin felt soft and smooth and warm under my hand, a single tear fell down his cheek as he watched my hand stroke his,
"Oh Edward" I cried taking my hand away, I sat up from the bench and went around to sit next to him, it was my turn to wrap my arms around him now, I just wanted to comfort him, I couldn't imagine how he felt right now, giving up his family to come back to me and finding me dating someone else. I may know what it was like to have my heart broken but at least I had people around me to help me put it back together.
I sat there with my arms around him, my head resting on his shoulder, he still smelt amazing, not quite like he used to, it was a subtler smell now, and he was wearing aftershave, something that was new. He still felt nicely chiseled, I wondered if he had to work out now to keep his physique in shape,
Hold it together girl, what are you doing thinking about his physique?!
I moved away quickly,
"Bella? did I do something wrong?" he asked, startled by my movement, I moved to the end of the bench, further away from him,
"No, I just don't think that I should be hugging you, I don't want to hurt you anymore"
and I'm afraid I might feel things I shouldn't
"You're worried about hurting me? I did this to myself, I left you here with a broken heart, it's my that you are in love with someone else, you have done nothing wrong, you owe me nothing, I am just eternally grateful that you don't hate me"
"but..."
"No Bella, this is all my fault I won't have you feeling guilty over me, I knew it was a distinct possibility that you had moved on with someone else, but I still came back, I may not be able to be your boyfriend anymore, but I can still be your friend, if you'll have me"
"I don't know Edward, I was in a very bad way when you left, I'm talking complete zombie material, I just, I just don't know if I could be in any sort of relationship with you without remembering how it felt, how broken I was, it's just too,..........painful, and then there's Jacob to think about, do you think he would be happy for me to become all bff with my ex boyfriend who was also a vampire once upon a time, I'm sure you know quite well how the Quileutes feel about vampires, and then theres the fact that Charlie has pretty much declared if he ever saw you in Forks again he would kill you, then you'll have o explain to everyone where you went, how come your family packed up and disappeared one night, then all of a sudden you return alone and looking different" I was starting to sound slightly hysterical at this point,
"Don't you think people will notice that your eyes have changed, that your skin has changed, that you don't sound or move or smell the same, did you really give this as much thought as you say Edward, because right now I can see a thousand reasons why you should have stayed a vampire" I was standing now,
"I'm sorry you feel this way Bella, I understand you don't want to be friends, I apologise from the bottom of my heart for what I did to you, I will never forgive myself, for as long as I live" he stood and turned, speaking so quiet I could barely hear,
"You're right Bella, I shouldn't have come back" he turned back towards the car park ,
"Edward.............no...........................wait...............................I........................I'm sorry.......................I didn't.....................please stop" tears started to sting my eyes, I ran forward to catch him, grabbing his arm,
"Stop Edward, I didn't mean I didn't want to be friends, it's just kind of confusing, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you are back at all, let alone human, just come back and sit down" I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the table,
"I guess I know how you felt when I left now" his voice was shaky and his eyes wet, I had really hurt him, "If we can be friends I will try everything in my power to make it back up to you"
"I know, but can you see where I am coming from? do you see how complicated this can be?, already is?, you can't expect to land back in Forks and just pick up where we left off, trust will be an issue, and I have to say I have no idea how Jacob will react when I tell him about you"
"You mean Jacob doesn't know that I'm back? he doesn't know you're here now?" the surprise showed on his face, "why didn't you tell him?"
"To be honest, my first reaction was to delete your messages and just forget about you, but I couldn't get you out of my head, and I figured I would regret it if I didn't talk to you and find out what was goigng on" I paused,
"Jacob has a temper, and as you are aware he is a werewolf, I can't guarantee that he won't over react, if you were in his shoes, how would you react?" I waited for his response,
"You're right, I'm sure he would have been upset when you told him I was back, but how do you think he will feel when he finds out that you knew I was back days ago, and then met up with me without telling him?"
He had a valid point, I was damned either way, if I did decide to stay friends with Edward, Jacob would know that I kept his return from him, if I told Edward to leave and not come back I'd be a wreck and considering I'm a terrible liar there would be no way of keeping it from him, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket,
Babe, I'm leaving Makah now on way to your place, can't wait to see you. xxx
"It's Jacob, he's on his way to my house, I better get going" my hands started to shake, I had to make a decision, I wasn't prepared,
"Bella, do you think we can be friends?"
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You should know by now, I love leaving you on a little cliffy!! I like to play with your minds! Mwahahaha *cough* *splutter*
So please review it makes me happy!
