AN: I know, it's been an eternity, guys. But I'm back. And I just thought I should let you know that in RL I'm engaged! So much has happened this last year. It's ridiculous. But without further ado, here is the ninth chapter.
…
I will remember that I remain a member of society,
with special obligations to all my fellow human beings,
those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.
(Modern Version of the Hippocratic Oath)
…
CHAPTER NINE: REVELATIONS AND CONFESSIONS
My fingers and toes felt numb all of a sudden. Broken? Aro thought Edward was "broken"? As in, irreparably damaged somehow? That certainly was the impression I gathered from this conversation.
But I couldn't believe it. Prior to this earth-shattering revelation I had thought all vampires were perfect—minus the occasional personality problems, of course. So the idea that any vampire could be classified as "broken" was novel to me.
Obviously Aro couldn't be insinuating that Edward had some kind of physical malformity, because I knew for a fact he possessed nothing of the sort. (I had seen Edward completely naked, after all—and nope, no problems there). But maybe vampire flawlessness only applied to physical attributes. Maybe this "brokenness" Aro was referring to wasn't a physical condition, but an ailment of the mind.
Could vampires get mental illnesses? I wondered.
The notion didn't mesh at all with my previous paradigms about vampires. But neither did the thought of becoming pregnant by one. And well, that had happened.
Not to mention that Edward's moods (especially as of late) certainly had been unhealthily volatile…
"What I have witnessed with my own two eyes is not a theory, Carlisle," Aro insisted with the utmost seriousness. "I have met enough vampires who share Edward's condition during my time here on earth to know of what I speak."
Wait, I thought as I struggled to process what I was hearing, Aro has seen this before? There are other vampires who are somehow defective?
The idea that there was one who was somehow lacking was mind-boggling enough. But an entire category of imperfect vampires? Was there a vampire insane asylum hidden somewhere that no one had told me about?
Before I could ponder any further on this revelation, however, Aro proceeded to list the supposedly "broken" vampires he was referring to in order to further prove his point. "Victor, the tracker who served me before Demetri, Anastasia of the Russian coven, and of course Tanya, Kate and Irina…"
My eyebrows shot up as I recognized the last three names. Tanya, Kate and Irina? They're "broken" too?
"Edward is nothing like them," Carlisle rebutted without hesitation and in a voice completely devoid of his usual warmth.
His sudden coldness surprised me—especially since many of the names Aro had listed off belonged to Carlisle's friends.
What could they possibly have wrong with them for Carlisle to be so firmly opposed to comparing them to his son? I wondered. I had a hard time believing that Carlisle, as a doctor, would speak so harshly of those Aro had listed if they were simply suffering from a psychiatric condition.
Had they all done something unspeakably heinous? I thought instead. Something so terrible it was insulting to suggest that it might be something Edward would ever do?
Though I could hardly believe that was the case either. Carlisle was on reasonably good terms with the last three vampires Aro had listed.
Then again, his friendship with Aro was a fairly strong evidence of the fact that Carlisle didn't limit his associations to those who shared his morals….
Aro exhaled in slight exasperation, presumably with his friend's stubborn unwillingness to believe him. "Edward exhibits the very same symptoms," he countered logically. His words were laced with clinical disgust, as though my absent husband had contracted a horrible disease.
"Marcus noticed it in him right away. The bonds Edward forms with others are not—"
"And what proof do I have of what Marcus has seen?" Carlisle cut in before Aro could finish.
Aro paused for a moment, probably shocked that his ages-old friend had interrupted him.
Carlisle's interruption surprised me too. His words had been delivered harshly and in a deeply skeptical tone that implied that the doctor believed Aro wasn't telling the truth. That he believed Aro was citing a source that Carlisle could not verify on purpose in order to further some villainous end.
That seemed like a pretty severe indictment to me. But unfortunately not entirely out of the realm of possibility.
Several seconds of silence ensued, during which I surmised Aro was concocting an appropriate response. He took a deep breath before he continued. "It is not only Marcus who has noticed the difference. Even dear Jasper has picked up on it," Aro added to lend some credibility to his assertions.
I had to admit that was a decent strategy. The doctor was much less likely to suspect foul play from one of his own than from the outside.
But hearing the familiar name made me panic. Jasper had picked up on what? And if it's so serious why didn't he say anything to Carlisle? Or to me? Shouldn't I as Edward's girlfriend, (and especially when I became his fiancée), have been the first to know? I thought.
I felt deeply distressed that any affect Edward's "brokenness" might have on me was never considered by the empath. Did I matter that little to Jasper? I knew it was difficult for us to have a close relationship because the scent of my blood seemed to make him uncontrollably thirsty. But I didn't think he was that callous….
And what about Carlisle? Didn't he have the right to know what was up with his own sort-of-son? I found it impossible to believe that Jasper would intentionally hide such information from his surrogate father. That is, if he had in fact noticed something different about Edward, and Aro wasn't just spouting nonsense.
Maybe this "brokenness" really isn't that big of a deal?
Though I was kidding myself—judging by Carlisle's affronted reaction it clearly was a big deal.
What weren't they telling me? I wondered desperately as I reviewed every hint that Aro had given about Edward's state thus far. And why was I only hearing about all of this now—eavesdropping by chance on a secret conversation in the middle of the night?
After a few seconds of tense silence on Carlisle's part, Aro cleared his throat and continued. "Edward's inability to form proper mating bonds is obvious to anyone with a gift that perceives emotions or emotional ties."
Aro's absolute confidence in these words did nothing to assuage my growing fears.
Edward can't form mating bonds? I thought frantically. Is that why he never mentioned whatever the hell they are? Because it's something we could never have?
The fact that that thought made altogether too much sense terrified me. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't. Not Edward...
At last, Carlisle answered sourly. "Jasper and Edward may not have started out on the best foot. But once they got to know each other..." he trailed off, as though he'd just had an epiphany.
"Wait. How do you know what Jasper's powers have felt? You have never read his mind!"
Ha! Gotcha! I thought triumphantly as I realized Carlisle was right. Aro had no way to prove his statements at all. Edward can't be broken!
But the long pause that followed the doctor's declaration was anything but comforting.
Despite not being able to see the pair during this conversation, I got the distinct impression that Aro was shaking his head. "While I understand why you believe that, it simply is not true, Carlisle," the ancient vampire said at last.
The declaration nearly made me gasp. Though I managed to stifle the incriminating sound at the last second.
"I have read your emotionally perceptive friend's mind," Aro revealed. I could practically hear the triumphant smirk in his voice. "He was so kind as to visit me in June to personally deliver Isabella's wedding announcement."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jasper personally went to Aro? The notion was completely contradictory to what he and his mate had told me before they left. I thought he and Alice wanted absolutely nothing to do with the Volturi! And I certainly couldn't fathom that Jasper had stopped in for a visit when he could just use the postage system to deliver that letter, like Alice said.
But why would Aro lie about this?
I leaned back on the couch and chewed nervously on my lower lip as I thought through the possibilities. I nearly gnawed through the soft pink skin there with how vigorously the cogs were churning in my brain. But even as I mulled it over, I came up empty. I had no clue what the elder vampire thought he might gain from slandering Edward's name if his claim that Edward was "broken" was all a farce.
Didn't Aro want to add Edward to his guard to utilize his mind-reading power? And wouldn't making him out to be some kind of deficient creature detract from that goal?
I shook my head slowly in total befuddlement.
None of this was making any sense.
"And," Aro continued in a darker tone, "I have plainly seen that Jasper's opinion of Edward has not changed. He still whole-heartedly believes what he told you at the very beginning."
"Why, he warned you as soon as he met Edward that something was 'off' about your precious young telepath!" Aro argued in a clipped tone that made my skin prickle. "He warned you of Edward's lack of empathy and paraphilic interest in human women! But you refused to listen!"
I wasn't sure what "paraphilic" meant, but Aro's disgusted, caustic tone combined with the rest of his words convinced me that whatever it was, it wasn't good.
Based purely on context, I surmised that it must have something to do with Edward's purported inability to form healthy relationships. That Aro was not only saying Edward wasn't capable of performing whatever mystical event constituted the "mating ritual". But that he was also claiming that my husband's attraction to me was perverted somehow.
Automatically these assertions riled up defensiveness in me. Edward wasn't a pervert!
But the passion in Aro's voice as he said these things, and my desperation to believe that Aro was trustworthy when so many others had failed or lied-by-omission to me over the last week, led me to at least consider what he was saying.
Could Aro be telling the truth? I pondered. Or was he lying to further some ulterior end?
I wasn't sure who I wanted to be wrong. Neither prospect was particularly soothing.
"I refused to listen because it isn't true!" Carlisle supplied in a defensive huff. "Edward was simply cold to Jasper when they first met because he and Alice took Edwards's room when they moved in. Jasper must have simply misinterpreted the animosity he initially felt."
Aro made a pained sound halfway between a scoff and an exhalation of disbelief. "Such contrived excuses don't suit you, Carlisle. You doubt what our gifts have confirmed?"
"I doubt that it has been confirmed," Carlisle contended. A small growl punctuated his statement like he was growing irritated with this argument.
It was an unusual sound coming from the typically long-suffering doctor. His hackles had hardly ever been raised, at least as long as I had known him. But for whatever reason, it sounded like this argument was pushing all of Carlisle's buttons. And the patient man was finally at the end of his rope.
"You suppose us both to be what, then? Merely jesting?" Aro sounded deeply offended. "You know I would never make light of something so serious! I am wounded that you think I would, Carlisle."
"I cannot accept you, or anyone else slandering Edward!" Carlisle hissed more venomously than I had ever heard before. "I wouldn't accept it the first time, or the second, and I certainly will not stand for it now!"
I stumbled backwards on the couch a little. Angry Carlisle was terrifying.
Thankfully, both of the men in the kitchen seemed to miss the dull "thud" that accompanied my movement.
"Though he may have little appreciation for the existence I've given him, he is a fundamentally good person," Carlisle defended passionately.
Apparently the eldest Cullen did not take kindly to having his family members insulted, no matter what evidence there was to support it.
Broken. Unable to properly form mating bonds. Having a "paraphilic interest" in human women. I could see why Carlisle wouldn't want to believe any of that. I certainly lacked all desire to believe that of my husband. It all sounded so disgusting and terribly unlike the man I'd fallen in love with.
But Aro was so adamant about this….
And I couldn't think of any logical reason for him to lie, and falsely attribute Jasper and Marcus as witnesses. There simply was nothing to be gained from such an action.
Could it be that Carlisle was just too stubborn to see what was right in front of him?
He had already basically admitted that Jasper's witness was legitimate, even if he ultimately disagreed with the empath's verdict. He had also mentioned that he had heard Edward being "slandered" in this manner several times before—which meant that multiple people over the course of time probably honestly believed something was up.
And none of Carlisle's rebuttals thus far had been very compelling, to me, at least. They'd mostly consisted of defending Edward on the basis that he possessed too noble of a character to be lacking in way Aro was describing. And that argument just wasn't very convincing currently.
From my point of view, Edward had been acting the opposite of noble ever since I became pregnant. If I was being honest with myself—which was actually quite difficult to do, because I still held onto the fading hope that I could forgive Edward and rekindle my love for him again—this last week Edward had been violent, selfish and manipulative, and not much else. The man I had fallen in love with was nowhere to be found.
It was like he was a whole different person.
And as much as I desperately wanted to believe that this "different person" Edward had become was a purely temporary state brought on by all stress that came from me being supernaturally pregnant, I had to admit this wasn't the first time I'd seen him like this. Whenever Edward felt like my life was threatened (which happened on an alarmingly frequent basis) it seemed like a switch flipped inside him. A switch that transformed him from the doting lover that gave me butterflies, into a cruel and unpredictable terror.
I went over a few examples in my mind.
When James tried to hunt me, Edward had been furious and irrational. Among other things, he'd been almost completely unwilling to listen to Alice's strategy, since it would briefly separate us.
And after Jasper lunged at me at my birthday party, Edward had been so upset that he severed all ties with me, leaving me an emotional wreck.
There was also the time when Aro asked Jane to test her power on me in Volterra. A power which was ultimately harmless in and of itself, since its effects were illusory. But regardless of the fact that no lasting damage was intended, Edward had tried to rip out their throats.
And almost every time I went to go visit the wolf pack—who I knew would never intentionally hurt me—Edward had acted much like he had in these last few days before he left.
I simply felt the difference more acutely this time because my conviction to protect my unborn son made me both the victim and the threat.
Did Edward have split-personality disorder or something? I considered uneasily.
I wasn't licensed to make those kind of diagnoses so I couldn't be sure. But I decided in that moment to at least entertain the idea that Aro's was on to something—that something could be fundamentally wrong with Edward.
It felt wrong to jump to such drastic conclusions when the man in question was not here to defend himself. But what else could I do? The only situation that made a fraction of sense was that neither party was lying—that Carlisle and Aro were simply explaining their differing perspectives.
It would make a lot of sense, really. Aro did possess the special vampire talent of reading every thought a person had ever had. And therefore, he had access to everything my absent husband had actually thought and felt.
And while Carlisle might be able to vouch for Edward's outward behavior, in all honesty he had no way of knowing the true contents of his surrogate son's heart. Edward could be "broken" emotionally or psychologically, or whatever and simply hiding it extremely well.
Only Aro could truly know what dark secrets my telepathic husband might have hidden in there.
But accepting that idea would mean that Edward really was as demented as Aro described—a terrifying thought.
And that Edward had somehow managed to keep his dysfunction hidden from me—another disturbing notion.
And finally, that Carlisle had either missed it as well. Or simply refused to see it out of some twisted kind of fatherly loyalty.
None of those things were exactly comforting.
And contradicting the trustworthy doctor's opinion made my stomach churn.
But if it was the truth… I would rather accept the nightmarish reality than live in continual denial.
"Edward most certainly isn't what you suggest," Carlisle boldly declared, as I knew he would.
"An incubus?" Aro baited in clarification.
My jaw unhinged in disbelief. A what?
I'd heard him perfectly fine, despite the fact that Aro had spoken in a soft whisper. But I was so shocked by what he said that I patently refused to believe my ears. Aro's usage of that particular word—one which he'd said with such contempt and disgust in our phone conversation before—to describe my husband jarred me.
From the little mythological lore I'd come across in my internet search to learn about what Edward was, I'd learned that Incubi were the worst sort of sexual predators. They were demons of the night who preyed on human women—seduced them and murdered them in ghastly ways.
To use such a term to describe the man I had loved was... Well I could understand why Carlisle was so upset now.
To be "broken" was one thing.
But an incubus? The accusation was almost laughably ridiculous.
…At least until I agreed to give it some serious consideration.
Maybe I didn't know Edward as well as I thought. He had lived for more than a hundred years before he met me. So there was a lot of his history that I wasn't familiar with.
Perhaps during that time there were even awful things he had done—things during his time away from Carlisle especially—that he had never told anyone.
My baby did a nervous flip-flop in my belly just thinking about it. Could your father really be something so awful? I worried. I clutched my stomach in unease. That would mean that I'd unwittingly married a monster.
As that idea was beginning to sink in, Aro decided to answer his own question. "Oh he most certainly is," the dark-haired vampire declared with an air of wicked triumph.
"EDWARD IS NOT AN INCUBUS!" Carlisle exclaimed in his best whisper-yell. It was a sound that was quiet enough not to disturb anyone upstairs, but piercing enough to send a jolt of static electricity up both of my arms.
"I know you do not wish for it to be true, Carlisle!" Aro hissed back, his soft voice alight with empathetic pain. "Your precious, golden son, being so tragically afflicted…" he trailed off, sounding devastated. Like he was trying to connect with how Carlisle would feel, if the doctor were to accept the ancient vampire's perspective.
Aro paused for dramatic effect before he continued. "I too denied the evidence for a long time, unwilling to face the truth."
The almost imperceptible sound of footsteps followed Aro's remarks as he began to pace languidly around the kitchen.
"I was unwilling to believe that someone as innocent and pure-hearted as yourself could have created something so vile..." Aro specified in a somber tone.
Carlisle scoffed like Aro was being completely ludicrous—which I now seriously doubted he was.
The beginning of another vehement protest started to wander off of the doctor's irate lips. But again he was cut off by Aro, who apparently wasn't finished.
"When I called you in March after the… unfortunate incident in Volterra, and you assured me most passionately that my assessment of Edward's character was hopelessly off-base, I endeavored with all of my might to believe you, dearest Carlisle," Aro explained sincerely.
"Despite my deepest reservations," he added, "your glowing remarks even had me convinced for several months that young Edward would make a suitable husband for Isabella. Your words persuaded me that he genuinely made her happy and to take that away from her would be an unforgivable travesty."
Aro sighed heavily as though he felt like the biggest fool in the universe for ever believing something so preposterous.
"I knew that Edward could never love her as potently as she deserved…" Aro went on in a profoundly sorrowful voice. "It simply is impossible given his unfortunate condition," he explained. "But if Isabella was truly happiest in that arrangement… then who was I to interfere?"
I blinked in totally bewilderment at Aro's remarks.
Who was I to interfere? In the supernatural world, Aro was basically revered as a king. And yet he felt like it was not his place to mess with my comparatively insignificant love life? If he wanted something from me that necessitated separating me and Edward, I wasn't sure that there was any force on earth powerful enough to stop him.
Does Aro secretly suffer from an inferiority complex or something? Or is he just being melodramatic? I wondered.
Aro continued. "When Jasper came to personally deliver Isabella's wedding announcement, what I saw in his mind convinced me that my initial diagnosis was correct," he explained with a self-castigating sigh. A sigh that suggested he fiercely regretted having second thoughts.
"Edward was indeed an incubus," Aro announced with self-frustration for not trusting his first instinct. "And I was most displeased to learn that his unhealthy attachment to dearest Isabella had only intensified"
In that moment Carlisle seemed to have an epiphany. "So that's why you called the first time in June," he breathed softly in realization. "I thought it was strange that you already knew of Edward's plan to marry Bella when I'd barely been informed of it myself, Carlisle admitted. "But if Alice was involved…"
"Yes her gifts certainly give her and her mate an advantage," Aro softly agreed.
"And the second time?" Carlisle coldly probed.
I gathered from his uncharacteristically acidic tone of voice that neither of the phone calls in June had been pleasant experiences.
Aro made a short, surprised sound. "You never picked up, or returned my call." He swallowed heavily before adding, "I wasn't aware that you knew I tried to contact you. I thought… at least at first I presumed… that the newborn army had… overwhelmed you."
It was clear from the way Aro delivered that last sentence that, for a time, Aro had believed that Carlisle hadn't picked up his phone or returned the call because the doctor was dead.
What a terrifying thing to think. Was Aro always so quick to jump to the most horrifying conclusion he could think of? I wondered. Or did he only do so in that situation because usually Carlisle would only miss a call from Aro if he was dead?
Carlisle heaved a heavy sigh. "I was... honestly quite furious with you at the time. I didn't want to speak with you," the doctor confessed. He sounded half-remorseful, as though perhaps giving Aro the silent treatment wasn't the most mature response, but his anger with the elder vampire had been wholly justified.
He cleared his throat before he shared his reasons. "Your previous call and the incident with Bree…"
I bristled at the mention of the short-lived newborn's name. It brought up too many bad memories. White-hot flames danced before my eyes as Jane's chilling words echoed in my ears. The Volturi don't give second chances.
"I understand completely why you wouldn't wish to speak with me immediately after that debacle," Aro cut in, his smooth, sorrowful whisper banishing the grisly images from my mind. "I should have spoken more tactfully."
"And again, I profusely apologize for my guards' behavior," Aro supplied, his voice heavy with sincere remorse. "I know it is little consolation, but I would have you know that those responsible for that most regrettable incident have been… appropriately punished for stepping out of line."
I blinked twice. Wait… he hadn't ordered them to behave that way? To wait until the battle was basically over and then swoop in and "take care of" any survivors? To kill Bree and threaten me to become a vampire, or else? That hadn't been Aro's desire? He'd wanted something else to happen?
But that would mean that they'd disobeyed him.
And for a reason I couldn't pinpoint precisely, that seemed deeply wrong, somehow.
Why would his loyal subordinates go against his wishes? Did they have a death wish?
My heartbeat quickened in my chest. And my breathing went uncomfortably shallow all of a sudden. A horrible thought crossed my mind. Is that what Aro meant by punishment? That he'd killed Jane, Alec, Felix and Demetri?
The startlingly vivid images that accompanied that thought were highly unpleasant. And I didn't like to imagine my new protector that way. But I was fairly certain that death was the only type of punishment vampires doled out on each other. Prison wasn't really an option for creatures that were immortal. And as far as I understood it, vampire physiology made them virtually immune to all methods of physical torture.
Carlisle must have been thinking along the same lines, because he sputtered a bit in shock and dismay. "That… wasn't necessary."
"Ah you misunderstand…" Aro intoned softly. "By 'punish' I did not mean eliminate. In my many years I have developed… alternative methods of discipline. Their gifts are too valuable to destroy, you see," he explained. "But that is not important."
So he hadn't killed them.
For some inexplicable reason I felt relieved. Even though I wasn't particularly fond of Jane and the others.
Aro took a deep breath and continued relating his experience, "…After the twins expressed sufficient remorse," he prefaced—I assumed to reassure Carlisle that his guard were still in good health. "…I called again… And again… And again…." Aro trailed off with a heavy sigh. He sounded half disappointed with Carlisle for not picking up, and half disappointed with himself for behaving like a jilted lover.
"However, since you weren't returning my calls..." he went on a bit hesitantly. "I decided that a visitation in person was in order to prevent Isabella from joining herself with Edward."
Carlisle inhaled nervously.
A visitation? He was planning to personally come to Forks? The idea would be mad if he wasn't already here. Was this what Alice had seen? What she'd been trying to prevent all along?
"As anxious as I was to avoid that disaster," Aro told his friend, "I originally thought it would be prudent to wait until the ceremony itself to step in. That way, I could object to their union formally…"
I stiffened in mild horror as I imagined what that might have looked like.
Aro would have glided furiously down the aisle clad in pitch black robes and a long black cape billowing menacingly behind him. He would have stopped abruptly only a few feet away from us. Then he would have pointed a deadly, accusatory finger at Edward, and stated his objection with extreme passion in front of all our guests. No doubt his guard would have been there too, flanking the exits garbed in fancy dresses and tuxedos; ready to forcibly haul Edward away from the altar if he showed any signs of resistance.
I was glad that for whatever reason that wasn't what had happened. My wedding day had been hectic enough without the Volturi crashing the ceremony. Not to mention I had no idea what I would have said to all our human guests.
Did Aro plan to just slaughter them all after he made his objection? Or was he planning not to say anything incriminating aloud. To make up a mundane excuse for his objection in front of everyone else?
Carlisle must have been thinking along the same lines. "You intended to interrupt the ceremony?" he remarked, aghast. "You do realize that most of our guests were human…"
"…An oversight on my part," Aro admitted.
To me it sounded as though he had been too frantic to stop Edward and I from getting married to properly think through all of the important ramifications of him showing up at a public human function. I was shocked that our impending union could make him behave so irrationally.
"But it hardly matters. Because I learned too late that both the date and the venue posted on the card I received were inaccurate," Aro finished, sounding completely devastated by this fact.
Aro hadn't received the right information? This was news to me. Had Alice foreseen that this would happen? Did she have Jasper misdirect Aro on purpose? If so, I would have to remember to thank her if I ever saw her again.
"By the time I obtained the correct information, Isabella and Edward were already married and well in midst of their honeymoon," Aro declared with the slightest of snarls. "But in the beginning I was not content to wait for them to come home. For weeks I scoured the earth for them to no avail."
I sat up straighter in my seat. He went looking for us?
Dear God he was desperate. But why? Was I really that important to him? Was I so crucial to his upcoming scheme that he would personally run frantically around the world to save me from dying at Edward's hands? I pondered. Sure he had sounded completely heartbroken when he'd assumed I was dead on the phone… But I still had no clue why he cared so much.
"I had barely given up the search, and decided to await their returning flight home in Seattle, the day before you called," Aro admitted with a heavy sigh.
He had just missed us. If he had given up the search a week sooner, he would have ran into us at the airport.
"I cannot stand by any longer, Carlisle," Aro announced, his voice adamant and pleading. "She must know how I feel."
"As I told you before, Aro. It wouldn't be appropriate. Not whilst Bella is still attached to Edward." Carlisle negated in a surprisingly calm voice.
"Then at the very least, she must know the risks," Aro begged desperately. He pleaded like a man stranded in the vastest of deserts, begging for the meagerest drop of water when the full liter was denied him.
"It simply is not fair to permit her to live unaware of the fact that her darling husband is a depraved, sadistic, conniving…"
"That is enough!" Carlisle snapped. Evidently he was quite finished with Aro's debasement of Edward's character.
"What risks?" I found myself saying aloud. I was tired of all this beating around the bush. I wanted to know—no, Aro was right, I deserved to know—what I had gotten myself into.
"Was that... Isabella?" Aro asked his friend in an incredulous whisper.
I clapped my hands over my traitorous mouth immediately, realizing my mistake. I wasn't meant to be a part of this conversation.
But it was too late. The pair of vampires now knew that they had an eavesdropper.
An eavesdropper who was desperately trying to blend in with the heap of blankets on the couch when the two powerful figures suddenly dashed into the living room to investigate.
I had foolishly hoped that the lack of light in the room would make it impossible for Carlisle and Aro to discern that I was awake as long as I lied perfectly still. But of course they could see perfectly well in the dark. And the fact that I was holding my breath in fear was pretty obvious when you had super hearing.
The two dark shapes hovered over me for a few moments exchanging looks as though silently debating how to address this unexpected development. Then, one of them suddenly reached out and gently caressed my shoulder.
"We know that you are awake, Bella," came Aro's buttery voice as he tenderly brushed one hand across my cottony sleeve. He then gently tugged at the blankets I'd halfway buried myself under, encouraging me to drop the futile ruse.
But I didn't dare move. His words may have been feathery and angelic sounding, but I feared that if I fessed up to having trespassed unwittingly into their private discourse, a much less pleasant fate awaited me. I figured it was safer to pretend to sleep (even if unconvincingly) for now.
Aro chuckled softly at my reluctance to reveal myself. He trailed his fingers lazily down my exposed arm, drawing loose circles over my skin.
His deft hands sent a peculiar electricity through my veins, and something stirred inside me. Something that I was very familiar feeling during my encounters with Edward, but had never imagined could happen with anyone else. Especially when we were barely touching (I usually only felt like this during a passionate kiss).
I blamed it on the fact that both Aro and Edward had the same temperature of fingers. It couldn't possibly be anything more.
Unless it was just my baby, messing with my hormones again.
Yes, it had to be that.
Aro's hands slipped a little lower, reaching to caress my fingertips.
But Carlisle seemed to mistake Aro's intentions. For as soon as Aro moved to touch my hands Carlisle forcibly snatched Aro's appendages away. He restrained them behind Aro's back and hissed in hushed tones.
"And you say my son is the incubus?!"
"You misunderstand..." I heard Aro protest.
A heavy rustling sound, like a long wool coat flapping reached my ears. This gave me the impression that Aro was struggling to escape Carlisle's iron grip.
"I wasn't going to..." Aro trailed off hesitantly, unwilling to say what he wasn't going to do aloud.
Carlisle's voice darkened but didn't increase in volume—I couldn't imagine why. He had to know from my irregular breathing that I was awake.
"Maybe you are so quick to accuse him because it is you who are incapable of properly forming mating bonds!" the doctor spat in a livid whisper.
Aro released an affronted gasp and another round of rustling ensued.
I opened my eyes at last to watch the confrontation unfold.
"You claim that what you feel now is love," Carlisle snarled to convey the depth of his disagreement. "But what of Sulpicia? Is your bond with her broken?" he interrogated derisively. "Or was there never such a thing to begin with?"
The sudden change of topic jarred me. Wait, Sul-who? I thought. Is Carlisle saying what I think he's saying? That Aro already has a wife and that he has abandoned her to "love" someone else? I couldn't believe it. That didn't sound like Aro at all.
Granted, I didn't know him very well.
If I had perhaps been a little more awake, I might have connected the dots and realized why Aro's love life was relevant—that is, what it had to do with me. But in the half-groggy state that I was in, the introduction of this new character into their story absorbed all of my attention.
Was she a threat? I wondered frantically. Would she come after him like a jealous ex to destroy this new love Aro had (whoever she was)? Would this Sul-person find us here? Would she misconstrue that Aro was the father of my child and have me eviscerated for seducing her man?
I shuddered violently at that last thought, a fact which the two vampires hovering over me did not fail to notice.
"It appears I was right, Isabella is awake" Aro stated matter-of-factly to the vampire standing beside him. "Might I tell her now, since she has no doubt already began to piece the truth together, based on our conversation?" he pleaded with a desperation that suggested he'd been waiting to reveal whatever it was to me for quite some time.
Carlisle scoffed at Aro's suggestion. "She'll never agree to it," he declared with as much certainty as he could muster.
Though the slight wavering in his voice and the worried curling of his lower lip afterwards betrayed his true insecurities. Carlisle feared there was a sliver of a chance that I would defy all his expectations and fully commit myself to whatever Aro was requesting.
I couldn't be sure of anything though, until I heard Aro out. There was no way I could make what was apparently a momentous decision—momentous enough that Carlisle had gone to absurd lengths to hide it from me—without first knowing what it was.
"I'll never agree to what?" I asked.
I yawned afterwards as a wave of tiredness settled over me again. I guess my body finally registered the fact that it was still too damn early to be awake.
Aro looked expectantly over at Carlisle. The ancient's mouth quivered in a way that suggested the words were practically bursting from his lips, but he was constrained by an earlier pact not to speak.
I too looked over at the doctor, silently begging him to lift whatever restriction he'd placed on the elder vampire for my sake.
Upon seeing the expectancy in both Aro's and my eyes, Carlisle heaved an enormous sigh. He buried his face in one palm for a moment before he reluctantly gave Aro the go ahead. "Tell her. I suppose there's no point in trying to hide it now."
Immediately Aro dropped to his knees and seized both of my hands in his in one fluid motion. The action was so swift and so graceful that I was surprised to note that his fingers were trembling ever so slightly as they imploringly held mine. Whatever it was that he was about to say—whatever secret he was about to divulge—he was extremely nervous about sharing it with me. Like his entire, three-thousand year old life hinged on it.
This, of course, automatically made me intrigued.
But not intrigued enough to completely fight off the exhaustion that was now creeping back into my body. I wasn't convinced that anything could fight that at this point.
"Carlisle believes that you would never agree to let me court you," Aro hurried to say before Carlisle could change his mind and cut him off. "I would be honored if you would at least consider my suit, dearest Bella," he continued in what was possibly his most enthralling voice yet. Though it strangely lacked his usual confidence—he actually sounded vulnerable as he made this request. Like he was offering up his very soul on a silver platter, and was rather worried that I might decide to hurl it into the nearest trash bin.
At once, Carlisle tensed. But for the moment, he kept a tight lid on his feelings by crossing his arms over his chest. He turned to me, awaiting my response.
Apparently, he decided he wasn't going to freak out until he heard my answer. Innocent till proven guilty, I guess.
But I was too tired all of sudden to think straight. And certainly not awake enough to keep up with Aro's archaic terminology. He might as well have been speaking Chinese, for all that I understood what he was saying.
Consider his suit? But he was wearing a coat…. Court him? But I wasn't any good at basketball…
"Wha—?" I inelegantly responded.
Groggily I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes, desperately trying to stay awake long enough to hear the suddenly vulnerable vampire out. But with every second that ticked by, the couch looked more and more appealing. And as time wore on, my level of interest, in whatever the black-haired vampire firmly clasping my hands was trying to tell me, plummeted.
Maybe he can tell me again after I've gotten some more sleep… I thought lethargically. These blankets are really comfy…
I slumped back into the cushions and prepared to close my eyes.
After a few awkward seconds of waiting for me to clarify my statement, Aro seemed to understand that what I'd meant by my response was that I hadn't understood him. He cleared his throat to get my attention.
This sound caused my eyes to fly open. And my spine went rigidly upright.
"Allow me to rephrase," Aro purred, still kneeling in front of me and clinging onto my hands. "Is there even the remotest possibility that you would accompany me on a date?" he asked with that same hopeful, but also slightly terrified voice.
A date? Suddenly I felt very awake. That was a word I understood all too well.
Unless, of course, Aro was using an old definition of the word that I wasn't familiar with. Which, given his incredible age was altogether way too likely.
Did he really mean like a date date? Or was he referring to something else, like a friendly outing, you known, purely in the platonic sense? Because Aro asking me on a real date was unthinkable.
I couldn't believe that he was trying to pursue me romantically before when he'd kissed my hand—the notion was just too preposterous. And I was having an equally hard time believing it right now. I mean, he was probably the most powerful man in the entire world.
And yet, here he was, genuflecting before me, a completely un-noteworthy human. And quite possibly offering the entirety of his heart.
But it would be completely mortifying if I jumped to the wrong conclusions. So I decided to make an important inquiry of my own, just to be certain that had heard him correctly, and was interpreting his words right. Not to mention to make sure that I wasn't vividly hallucinating. Because I was starting to think, based on how insane these last few minutes had been, that I hadn't woken up at all. That this was all a part of wild, incredibly realistic dream.
"Aro," I started to ask.
His eyes expectantly flicked to mine the moment he heard his name.
"Do you… erm… like me?" I finished hesitantly.
My heart was hammering in my chest while I waited for his answer. Because an answer in the positive would completely shake up my world.
Aro's face scrunched quizzically. He apparently failed to see the relevance of my question. "Of course, I find you to be a quite amicable person, Bella," he responded cordially. But the puzzled look never quite left his features. He didn't seem to think my question was pertinent.
Realizing that Aro had made a mistake in interpreting what I meant, I decided to spell it out for him as best as I could. "No, I don't mean, 'Do you like me?', I mean, 'Do you like me?'"
I put an unhealthy amount of emphasis on the second "like" so that he would hear the obvious difference, and thus be able to deduce my meaning. I needed to know if Aro had any hint of romantic interest in me—not just whether he found me companionable or not.
But despite my best efforts to enunciate, clearly we were hitting a communication barrier. Because Aro's expression only became more confused.
Despite his obvious distaste for our conversation, Carlisle actually chuckled under his breath—probably because he perfectly understood what both of us were trying to say. And he found it hilarious that we were having such a difficult time conveying our meaning to each other. For all intents and purposes we were not speaking the same language.
Aro was actually beginning to look a little distraught, "You are the most likeable person I know, my dear Bella," he insisted passionately.
His grip on my hands suddenly tightened, though not painfully. And his face strained with matchless worry.
"Do you doubt that I find your company pleasant?" Aro said with a peculiar desperation. His eyes positively begged me to answer in the negative.
"…No, I think you've made that quite clear," I answered honestly. Weird as it was, I had absolutely no room to doubt that now. "But that's not what I'm asking."
Relief washed over Aro's complexion immediately. And his grip on my hands loosened ever so slightly as he realized that I wasn't still worried about whether or not he was genuinely interested in my welfare. Or whether he thought I was a nice person.
But this reprieve was short lived. Bewilderment quickly filled the space that worry and begging had held before.
"I am afraid I do not understand, then," Aro admitted with a heavy sigh and a helpless shrug. "What is it that you wish to know?" he asked tentatively, not entirely sure he would be fond of my answer.
Knowing that Carlisle would know exactly what to say to Aro, I immediately shifted on the couch to face him, petitioning him with my best puppy-dog eyes to help me out here.
But Carlisle seemed to think that our inability to actually get anything across to each other was working to his advantage. So he firmly shook his head and made a circular gesture that seemed to say, Figure it out. You're on your own.
I wanted to curse at the man for being so distinctly unhelpful, but I refrained because it was Carlisle, and swearing in front of him seemed almost sacrilegious somehow. The man was a saint, in my eyes, like Mother Teresa, or something. So even if he was being infuriating at the moment, it wouldn't be right to use such choice words with him.
Try to think of what Elizabeth would say to Mr. Darcy, my brain supplied helpfully for once, recalling how much Aro sounded like a gentleman from a previous era. Aro isn't very familiar with modern slang, so older words, like those in Pride and Prejudice are more likely to resonate with him, I decided. And the more I mulled the idea over, the more I thought it was the perfect solution.
At least, until the only word that came to mind from that book that described the feelings I was trying to talk about was "affections". That word just felt too strong to me. I only wanted to know if Aro was interested—if maybe there could be something more in the very distant future. Though definitely not right now because we barely knew each other.
And I was still married. Potentially to a monster, but that was beside the point.
It wouldn't be proper regardless to get serious with someone else just yet—I wasn't a total floozy.
But really I shouldn't have been worried about embarrassing myself with such a strong word. In my mind there was a 99.99% chance that I had simply completely misunderstood his earlier question. That he hadn't been asking me out at all. And that when I asked he would simply laugh and remind me of my insignificance.
If, of all the unlikely scenarios, he were to confess that he did harbor affections for me… Well, frankly I had no idea how I would react.
The shock could quite possibly be enough to make me faint. I was already getting woozy, just thinking about it.
But there was no way that would ever happen….
Seeing that Aro was getting slightly antsy as I debated how to rephrase my question in the form he would understand, I finally decided that "affections", even if I felt it was a little severe at this premature stage, would have to do. Otherwise, I might never know how Aro really felt.
"What I've been meaning to ask is…" I started to say, but paused. Dear Lord this was so awkward. "Do you have… um… affections for me?"
Almost instantaneously, Aro lit up like a lightbulb. Evidently, these were words he understood. And based on the way his cheeks split into a humongous smile after I finished, I figured that they were words that he was delighted to hear.
Carlisle stiffened in the background. Apparently he was not happy that I'd found a way to speak Aro's language.
But in reality I paid him little to no mind. I was much too focused on holding my breath and steeling myself for the high-pitched cackle that was no doubt about to come out of Aro's mouth. He was almost guaranteed to find my question completely absurd and hilarious, and start violently rolling on the floor, laughing his head off at the idea of him being romantically interested in a human.
So I chewed on my lower lip nervously and shut my eyes tight, waiting for the worst.
But what I had anticipated was not at all what happened.
Instead of mocking me for being so stupid, Aro answered, "I most certainly do," with a voice like rich honey, and dipped his head to kiss my knuckles like he'd done before.
My skin burned in response to his lips' delicate contact for a few unbelievable seconds before Aro raised his head and added a very important qualifier.
"But I completely understand if you do not feel the same."
"I... I… " I snapped my mouth shut after a couple failed attempts to speak.
I had no idea what I was supposed to say. Aro liked me?
Either I was high as the Cascades on some kind of pain medication Carlisle had given me and hallucinating this entire conversation, or the king of all things supernatural had actually just confessed that he was romantically interested in me.
Honestly the former made more sense… I mean, what was there to like about boring old me? I had never understood it with Edward. And I certainly couldn't fathom someone as impressive and long-lived as Aro seeing anything remarkable in my drab, clumsy self.
And yet, here Aro was, kneeling at my feet, imploring me with wide eyes to reciprocate his crush.
Wait, was this the "secret reason" for wanting my happiness that Aro had referred to earlier? The one which he'd sworn not to tell? I suddenly considered.
A crush could certainly explain why Aro was so frantic to see to my health and safety, and yet be interested in preserving my child as well. It could also explain why his voice grew acidic at every mention of Edward, his rival-for-my-affections'…. And if Carlisle had made Aro promise not to reveal his interest in me, (which it sounded like he had) and Esme was aware of this promise, that would explain all the odd looks the three of them been giving each other in the last twenty-four hours….
And if Carlisle really was the sort to defend his son at all costs, (which he'd just proven he was) it made sense that he had insisted on the pact because Aro's romantic pursuit of me might interfere with my relationship with Edward…
…Actually, everything was starting to come together. But the idea of Aro crushing on me at all still seemed completely ludicrous.
I stared blankly into oblivion, my entire body frozen like a computer experiencing the blue screen of death.
"Please do not feel pressured to indulge me if that is the case," Aro quickly interjected with a minutely bowed head. "I have no intention to force you into an arrangement you find unpleasant—quite the opposite."
Aro released his delicate grip on my fingers to punctuate his point.
It seemed that he interpreted my inability to speak as an expression of feeling trapped. That I was feeling obligated to go on a date with him just because of his lofty station.
Honestly I hadn't thought that far. But it was nice to know that Aro didn't plan to utilize his clout to force me at his side.
At least not overtly.
Was this why he was so intent on slandering Edward? I suddenly thought. Did he want to give Edward a bad name as an underhanded way of convincing me to leave my husband for him?
It would make sense...
...if Aro was the kind of dastardly person who wanted me as a trophy and wasn't actually very concerned with my real feelings.
But none of his words thus far suggested that he was that sort of man. In fact, his admission that he was content for a few months to allow me and Edward to proceed with our relationship after Carlisle had vouched for Edward's character suggested the opposite. That Aro really was wholly intent on seeing me truly happy—whether that meant I was with someone else, or not.
And that was more than Edward had ever promised. By his own admission, Edward was "too selfish" to let me belong to anyone else.
Of course, Aro's words could all just be talk for Carlisle's sake. At this point, I had no way of knowing.
"I… I don't know how I feel," I decided to confess honestly. "This is all so… sudden." Totally out of left-field, Aro. "And I'm still married…" I wiggled my ring finger still bearing Edward's ginormous rock in demonstration of matrimonial loyalty.
Though I was fairly certain the dour look on my face conveyed the creeping thought I'd been having throughout this conversation. The thought that if things continued how they were between me and my husband that a divorce was probably in order eventually.
It was a horrifying thing to think—that my fairytale loves story with Edward would ever come to an end. Even if it was for a wholly legitimate reason like emotional abuse and abandonment. But it was the truth. And I'd decided I wasn't going to try and hide from that anymore.
"And there's another person I promised to give a shot if Edward didn't work out…" I blurted out, remembering what I had told Jacob to convince him to not rip Edward's throat out after he realized we were engaged.
And you have someone else too—if I'm understanding Carlisle's words about this Sul-person correctly, I thought, but didn't dare say aloud.
"And I'm really exhausted right now…" was the explanation I finished with.
Which was my chief concern at the moment really. I couldn't properly think this through and trust myself to make an intelligent decision when I was on the verge of slipping from consciousness.
"Of course. You should rest," Aro conceded, trying his best to mask his disappointment.
He assisted me in resuming a lying-down position. And once again he reverently tucked me in.
"I do not require you to make any commitments at the moment," he reiterated with a gentle smile on his face. "Especially when I have not adequately explained what precisely ails Edward," Aro added logically.
"No doubt you have gathered some idea of the fault I find in him from our conversation," he allowed. "But I shall tell you the rest—everything that I know—in the morning. Then you may take as little or as much time as you need to come to a decision as far as I am concerned."
I let out a long, heavy yawn before nodding in agreement.
I really wanted to stay awake and have Aro tell me everything now. There was so much I still wanted to ask him about. But he was right. I needed rest.
And so with a heavy heart and a mind burgeoning with questions I closed my eyes and promptly fell back asleep.
This time, there were no more interruptions in my slumber. I slept soundly until the morning, knowing that a three-thousand year old vampire was affectionately watching over me.
