4/18

It's finally TIME! I've been waiting for what feels like forever to post this chapter!

Thanks to xXYour DoomXx, mac2 and logan (guest, though...wtf...?) for the lovely reviews, and thanks for the favorites and the follows. You make me so damn happy! :D

Gaara's past will be revealed now..., and a pretty cool thing while writing was that when I began writing Sink Forever Down by Malrun started. Words came so easy that I had that song on repeat the whole time while writing.

If an author asks you to listen to that and that song while reading, do you do it? I've wondered that for while now. . .and to be honest, I don't. Mostly because I haven't Spotify Premium, and when you have Spotify Free songs shows up randomly (well, on the phone)...so, I can't decide to listen to that and that song. :P But...why don't I use Youtube...?

It would be cool if you listen to Sink Forever Down while reading, but I don't think it would do much if you don't.

Sorry for the babble-shit just now...:P

Oh, and before I forget!(have done for a couple of chapters now): Hinata is eighteen, nearing nineteen... not seventeen, nearing eighteen as she was before. Gaara's nineteen. Lol, it doesn't do much change but just so you know. . . :P

Read and Enjoy~!


"Gaara didn't look happy as he said he was going to tell me about his past, and when I again said he didn't need to if he didn't want to he became mad."

"B-but why did he want to tell it if he didn't want to?" Hikaru frowned.

His grandmother just shook her head, "I've thought about that for a long time now, and I still don't understand it…but he did look relieved afterwards. Maybe he just needed to tell it to somebody, and he chose me."

Hikaru was surprised his grandmother knew how he looked because she said; "I shared the same face as you do now. And believe it or not, but Gaara shared the exact same." She smiled, but not one of happiness, "He began telling me about his childhood; of how his father ignored him and how his mother and his siblings were the reason he was smiling every day."

"My father hated me." Gaara begun, and didn't look at me as I gasped and hid my mouth with my hand to keep a sob from slipping out. I was seconds away from breaking down of how he told it; his voice was cold and I heard the venom in it, but I could still detect the pain that seemed to worsen the more he spoke.

"He used every moment he could spare to tell me how I wasn't his son, of how he had wanted me to not survive my birth because it was impossible for my mother to have a child afterwards."

"W-what did your mother s-s-say?" he looked surprised at me when he heard that my voice was tear-stained and my body was shaking, and he had to use a moment to understand what I had just asked.

"My mother…she didn't hear what he told me. My father was very careful not to say it when she or my siblings were close, and when they were he simply ignored me. My mother and siblings didn't have a clue."

"T-they didn't have a clue?! H-h-h-how-"

"Hinata."

I furiously blinked away tears I hadn't noticed wanted to fall and when Gaara dried some tears that had with his fingers, I knew I was having a break down.

Gaara carefully, cautiously, took his arms around me and held me close as I continued to shake, and when I stopped he asked me, "Why are you so…emotional?"

I glanced up and saw he was frowning, clearly not understanding it, and I barely managed to whisper, "Why aren't you?"

He didn't answer and I told him as sternly as I could, "Y-you are not the reason why your mother couldn't have m-more children. It's not your fault you were born."

"Gaara's father said bad things to him, and Gaara started to believe him."

He held me closer instead of replying, and leaned his head carefully over mine so that he didn't need to look at me.

I may have heard a soft "thank you" but he continued before I realised that he had, "My father was a very smart man, and he loved my mother dearly. It nearly seemed he became jealous if I was around her..."

"As I have told you before; my mother loved flowers and was in this garden anytime she could. When I got older I began following her, and she told me excitedly of this and this flower if I asked. She really loved flowers, and became glad every time my father gave her one."

He took a deep breath, and took his arms around me tighter so that I had to take my own around his waist. "That she could…."

He shook his head, and his body was trembling slightly as he forced whatever thought away. "It was around my fifth birthday she changed."

"She used more and more time in the garden, and much more time looking for new flowers that she spent less time with my father. He didn't become glad of this…and said worse and worse words to me. Of how I was the cause of my mother's sudden change; that I was the son of the devil because of my red hair and had thrown a spell at her to make her how she now was, that I wanted her all for myself, that I really should have died when I was born, that no one wanted me..."

"When I turned six I noticed something was up with my mother. She had begun getting pale, and became sick easier than usual. We all became worried, but either she or the nurses treating her would tell us anything, and she told every time it was just a cold."

Gaara snorted now, and sounded angry, "And me being a fool, and because I had let my father's words sink in and just wanted my mother to love me, accepted it. I still can't believe that I did. . ."

"Y-you were a c-child…"

"But still!" he growled, "If I hadn't been a mother's boy maybe I would have saved her, maybe I would…"

He took a deep breath, and let absent-mindedly his fingers play with my hair, "I don't know why, but my siblings began to hang in the garden in the end, spending more time with mother than they had before…maybe they understood something was going to happen? Maybe they understood..." he didn't finish and let out a sigh, "either way, just before my seventh birthday, at the start of January, my mother was put in the hospital because she had fainted when working on the circle…." He nodded towards it, eyes fixing on the sweet pea in the middle and not leaving it as he said, "….and, she didn't come back."

He breathed out, swallowing slightly and closed his eyes as his grip on me became tighter for a second before he let go of me completely. I had to use a moment to move my arms away from his waist, and stumbled slightly as my vision, due to tears, wasn't good and I barely saw the circle of flowers in front of me.

"She had used her last days alive here; working on the circle while I watched and asked her why she had chosen the yellow tulips, the monkshood, the purple hyacinth and…the single sweet pea in the middle. My mother never told me."

"After the funeral…after the shock and after some nasty words from my father, I made my way here together with my small book with flowers and the small icons telling me what they meant. I checked every one of them, and cried when I realised what they meant and that my mother had sent a last message to me."

I dried tears away and sniffed a little, "G-Gaara…"

I didn't know where I got the courage from but I found myself griping one of his hands with my own. "I-I'm so sorry-"

"You have no reason to apologise, Hinata. I will tell that when I can so that you'll understand it. I'm very grateful for that I told this to you…I…I needed it."

His eyes were staring at my own, and I gasped as he gave my hand a small squeeze as he leaned slightly closer to me. My heart was running wild and I couldn't keep my eyes away from his slowly closing-in mouth. His gaze never left mine either.

"Gaara told me his past…and kissed me."


So...what do you think?

Yeah, I never saw that ending either! XD Am still unsure if it was a good idea though...

I tend to read over the chapter once-twice before posting it. I've read through this one more, am still not sure if it is good enough. :P Ugh, the nerves.

Soo..., what do you think about Gaara's past? A bit different than usual, eh? His past has much to do about how he is now...like he's a bit more touchy-feely than in the anime. XD

In case you were unsure, yes, Gaara's mother died of an illness. And how Gaara talked about his past was so sad Hinata began to cry. I have the feeling she cries a lot in this fic...

And if you have forgotten them, the flower meanings:

Hyacinth, purple; I'm Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Sorrow

Monkshood; Beware, A Deadly Foe Is Near

Sweet Pea; Goodbye, Departure, Thank You For A Lovely Time

Tulip, yellow; There's Sunshine In Your Smile

You understand now what Gaara's mother tried to say...eh?

Did you listen to Sink Forever Down while reading?...well, I tried when reading through it. And read again with another song on repeat. . .didn't do much difference. :p XD

Until next time, Bye~!