Chapter 9

John waited until Sherlock's laugh faded. Sherlock's left hand was still curled around John's waist holding him against his chest as they both lay on the sofa. John freed both of his hands which were tangled in Sherlock's curls and pushed himself up in sitting position. The detective protested with a moan and tried to grip his slender digits in John's jumper. Much to his distress, the doctor continued to move away. Sherlock lifted and folded his legs up placing one at the edge of the sofa and other thrown on the back rest, in an attempt to not let his flatmate escape his octopus-like limbs. John now sat in between Sherlock's incredibly long legs, his hands on the detective's thighs. With much effort he retreated them back to fold against his chest.

"Let me go," John said, his voice sounded more hurt than a cold one he would have liked.

"Why?" Sherlock's legs curled around John even tighter.

"Well, Mission-Drive-Michael-Away is accomplished, isn't it?" John spat. Sherlock legs tensed around John. "Wasn't this all about to drive Michael away? Well done," John struggled to free his body but in vain. Sherlock got up too. Their faces were mere inches apart and John realised the detective could see tears forming in his own eyes. He looked away to save further embarrassment.

"John-" Sherlock started but John interrupted before things get worse and he starts crying.

"Was it or was it not, Sherlock?"

"What are you talking about?" The detective narrowed his gaze, as if not exactly understanding John's reaction.

"Was it or was is not planned to drive Michael away?" John looked in the pair of eyes before him, feeling angry now.

"Yes, but-" John heard what he needed to hear.

"Let me go, Sherlock," John said calmly.

"Listen to-"

"LET ME GO," John yelled but instead of what he was told to do, Sherlock tightened his grip around him. His hands were now tugging at John's jumper.

"You don't know why I did this-"

"I don't bloody want to know," John snapped.

"I did this for both of us."

John laughed humourlessly.

"For us? Since when do you care about anybody else but yourself?"

"John, if you let me explain-"

"Then what? Then you'll do this again, drive every single person I know away from me just because you want somebody to fetch your fucking phone!"

"John, your adrenaline level is running high. Don't get worked up-"

"Yes, my bloody adrenaline level is running high! Guess whom to thank!" John could feel his heart thumping faster and this time it had nothing to do with the closeness with the detective. He struggled again against Sherlock's hold, slapping and punching to get away. But the younger man never moved but enclosed around him tighter, bearing all of the beating from his army doctor. After a brief struggle with no desirable outcome, John gave up. He closed his eyes, hoping it would help him forget the reality in front of him.

John felt cold fingers unfolding his clenched fist. He hadn't even realised his hand was fisted. He didn't open his eyes. The rough and exceptionally cold fingers slowly but firmly opened each of John's fingers and then his palm was gripped in another pair of palms, one above his and one under. John exhaled forcefully, trying desperately to calm his breath, when he felt Sherlock's nose nuzzle in crook of his neck. John involuntarily leaned into the touch.

"Don't leave me, John," Sherlock murmured. Sherlock breath was warmer, contrast to his fingers that wound with John's now. John didn't have heart to pull away.

"I did it for you too. For us," John closed his eyes tighter, living an eternity in every word the man next to him whispered. It was rare Sherlock speaking about his feelings and John knew this was one of those rare moments. "I've never felt.. this before. I had no idea what to do with this sentiment, John. I had deleted it. Erased it from every part of my life. I was sure this was not an advantage. I was sure," John didn't know what the detective was trying to say but he didn't interrupt. "Then something changed between us. I don't want you to leave. I don't know what I'd do without you. I feel.. paralysed, John."

John opened his eyes. Sherlock had hidden his face in his neck. John took both of his hands to lift Sherlock's face. The detective looked tired. John wondered how much the man had struggled. Sherlock had never let his cold facade down and say things he actually felt. It just wasn't what Sherlock normally does.

"Look at me," John said softer now. Sherlock obeyed. "I'm not pushing you to do anything you don't want to do and I'm not leaving you, Sherlock. You have stop acting paranoid." He lifted their tangled hands to place the detective's palm against his heart. "We can take it slowly but this has to be healthier than paralysis," Sherlock lips curled a bit to meet John's smile. "Do you want to do this?" John asked and he was suddenly afraid of the detective's answer. He was afraid Sherlock would not want a relationship. He gulped down a lump that formed in his throat.

"Yes," Sherlock whispered and John face broke into a widespread grin. He leaned down to meet the detective's lips which on contact invited him in.

"You have, er, done this before, right?" John asked awkwardly when he broke apart to look at his flatmate, remembering how hr seemed to have no idea where to put his hands when they first kissed.

"Don't be stupid, John," Sherlock snapped. John relieved just a fraction of a second before Sherlock said next words nastily. "Of course, I haven't."

"Yeah, tha- what?" John stared at him flabbergasted.

"I have been thinking of this sentiment as a disadvantage all my life."

John swallowed in the new information. When his brain - which, John knew, was running with the speed of a snail because Sherlock was looking at him for past one minute with a face that clearly read 'you have such a tedious thinking capacity' - could find fairly appropriate words to make a statement, John blurted the question out.

"I'm going to be your first?"

"Are you playing stupid just to annoy me? Because it's working," John was too dazed to counter attack the insult.

"For God's sake, why is it an issue now?" Sherlock said, irritation leaking in his voice. John knew if he doesn't say anything in near future, the detective will probably throw something at his head just out of annoyance.

"No, no, it's not an issue," John continued awkwardly, "Have you ever, you know, had a wank?"

Sherlock scoffed.

"You have, haven't you?"

"If I said no, does that make things different?" Sherlock cocked his eyebrow up.

"You haven't wanked for-" John struggled with his math skills a moment, "36 years?"

"It's masturbation, John. Stop using slang. My ears burn enough watching stupid telly. And to answer your question, I might have unknowingly when I was in teens. Otherwise, male body has a perfected system to discard useless sperms. Although in my case all the sperms are useless." He sneered.

"Jesus," John's mind was getting fogged now.

"You have been staring at my penile area since this conversation started."

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Sherlock's 'Don't be' almost didn't reach John's ears when he continued. "Are you sure about this, Sherlock? Maybe we can start with primary things."

"Like?" Sherlock raised an eyebrow, cocked his head to one side. John swallowed.

"Kissing?"

"I'm not a kid. Stop treating me like one," The way he pouted, he exactly sounded like one.

"You are a kid in this area. We have to take it slow," John said more to himself.

"For God's sake, John, I'm not a kid! Just because I haven't done it, doesn't mean I don't know about it. You'd like me to prove, yes?" Sherlock continued without further intimation from his dumbfound flatmate. "Fellatio, irrumatio, feltching, cunnilingus-"

"Jesus, stop! I don't want you to prove you know this stuff!" John said cutting Sherlock halfway through his rant. But somehow the very rant was making his member stiff.

"The point is, I know this. Likely more than you do. And not only the names but complete science behind the terms. I may be lacking in practical knowledge, John, but that doesn't make me a kid."

"O-okay," John was having a difficulty to continue. "What do you want to do then?"

"I want to perform fellatio on you."

If John was drinking tea right now, he would have sputtered it with so much pressure that even the walls would bear stains.

"John?" There was no response. "Are you having a mid life sexual crisis? I knew it would happen soon given you just descovered the other side of your sexuality. But this is not the time. I'm about to perform fellatio on you."

"Stop," John voice was cracked when he spoke. "Saying that."

"But you like it, don't you, doctor?" The detective had dropped voice an octave below and his eyes were boring at a very particular southern area of John. "You get images in your mind, don't you, John, of me performing fellatio?" The detective moved a bit closer speaking directly in the doctor's ears. A shiver ran through John's body.

"Come on, John," The taller man purred and John felt a tongue very lightly brushing his earlobe. "Don't fight it. I've waited for so long. I want it. You want it. I am an adult and I give you my full consent to do whatever with me."

And that was enough to crumble John's Wall of Morals. He hastily dug his fingers in Sherlock's hair drawing him closer and their lips met again. A moan escaped but John was too bloody busy kissing a gorgeous set of lips to care whose mouth it had come from. He hungrily kept kissing as if everything he had ever wanted was kept in the detective's mouth all along. He licked them, scraped with his teeth, bit lightly enough to leave a bit more reddish mark. His hands roamed tracing sharp edges of Sherlock's shoulder blades. He realised Sherlock was doing exactly what he did. His hands were kept on John's shoulders lightly, as if afraid of intrusion. John moved his hands down following his spine. Sherlock did the same a moment later. John smiled against Sherlock's lips. The man is following my lead. He lifted the other man's T shirt just a bit up and Sherlock did so too. John touched his fingers lightly on bare skin of Sherlock's. Just a finger was touched on John's back tentatively and retrieved back.

John broke apart and smiling he said, "You can touch me anywhere you want, love."

"I know I can," Sherlock said, defensive. His lips were tomato red and a tiny redder mark was visible right in the middle of bottom lip. John marvelled at the sight. "And why do you keep calling me love?"

John continued with laugh. "Exactly what I'm saying, Sherlock. You are not ready. People say love, darling, sweetheart when they, you know, make love. It's a sign of affection." John carried on talking ignoring Sherlock's scoff as the words love, darling, sweetheart, make love were spoken. "You can't just do what I am doing. You need to give in," Sherlock's brow was arched up skeptically. And John had no intentions of finding out what Sherlock understood from 'give in'. "There will come a time when we can't do the same thing at the same time to each other. Are you getting what I am trying to say here? Loosen up a bit." He rubbed his hands on Sherlock's tensed shoulders.

"Is anything bothering you?" John asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact."

"And it is?" John prompted, massaging the detective's back.

"I might not able to concentrate on sexual activities when there is Work." Sherlock stated.

John had seen this coming. He had presumed Sherlock was above all of this ordinary stuff, as he called it. But having him near, being able to kiss him was enough for John. At least at the moment. He was not going to worry what will happen when a case comes. Things might have changed or might not have. But this is what he wanted now and there was always wank - sorry, masturbation - to relieve the stress.

"Like I said before, I won't push you into anything you don't want to do. There will be no sex, kissing when we're on the case."

"Kissing might work."

John suppressed a giggle. "Yes, they might when you want them. You just have bring your arse to me and press those precious lips on mine." Sherlock looked at him as if John were talking some disgusting language that could give him diarrhoea.

"Arse, John? Seriously?"

"The point is," John continued, "We will wait until you are ready. Just tell me when you are. We've all the time in the world." Sherlock nodded as John got off the sofa. His aching erection made walking a tough job. I need to wank.

"And, John?" Sherlock called. John turned around. "You can call me love."


A/N: Well, I wasn't going to post till next weekend but the new teaser they just released brings me here early! This is not a beta'd version. All mistakes are mine.

Things will be getting hotter from here! Like it? Hate it? Let me know :)

Lydesh, 09michv, TsukiyomiMoon, lavender elephants, Kokoleka and Canada-Matthew thank you so much for favourating and Fandemonium-in-the-streets, Lydesh, Mayle, MAFITA, A Speckled Brunette, Raeya, sKyLaR KnIgHt, Amy Witherboard, Sally, Em, KL08 and .mint for reviewing! Everybody who's following *121 people OMG* I hope you all are enjoying as much as I'm enjoying writing it!