Chapter 9

"Weak. He's weak. You're strong! CRUSH HIM!" A voice reverberated throughout Garen's mind.

Garen looked at the fleeing daedra hunter, a Vigilant of Stendarr, and he could see the fear in the other man's eyes. Garen lowered the hood of the heavy black robes that covered his body. The Vigilant's eyes widened in fear when he gazed into Garen's thirsty red eyes.

In a burst of inhuman speed, Garen lunged at the other man and ripped his head to the side. Garen sunk his fangs into the mans neck. He feasted on the other man's blood. When he was done, he let the body fall to the floor with a sickening thud.

"Very good my child. Now, come to me!" The voice reverberated through his head.

Garen sat up with a jolt. Garen worked to calm his ragged breathing and looked to the form lying in the bed next to him. Serana's features were peaceful and it warmed his heart to see her completely at ease. If he could give someone the peace he wouldn't have, he would do it in a heartbeat. He had known it was only a matter of time before his terrors would return and now it seemed the had come back to him in the Brotherhood sanctuary.

He and Serana had stopped here to get a night of rest along their journey to Castle Volkihar. They were only taking the time to sleep in a real bed rather than the ground of the forests and mountains. Garen had no problem sleeping in the wilderness, but Serana did and he agreed to stop for her sake.

Garen sighed and silently got out of his bed. If his terrors had returned, then there would be no more sleep for him to get this night. Garen left the room, closing the door behind him, and headed out of the sanctuary completely. The place was deathly quiet, no one was up and about at this odd hour, not even little Babette.

Garen sighed in relief and closed his eyes when the harsh winter air of the northern Skyrim weather tickled the flesh of his face and bare chest. He relished the feel of the cool snow beneath his feet and toes. Like most Nords, Garen was never bothered by the cold. Unlike most Nords however, he barely felt the cold that everyone else complained about. Garen sat down on the snow and rested his back against the nearby rock face. Garen closed his eyes, finding comfort in the howling of the wind and wolves off in the distance.

"Can't sleep." The familiar sweet voice of Serana spoke next to him and Garen sighed.

"No." He opened his eyes and looked up at her. "Sorry for waking you."

"It's fine." She said and sat down next to him. "Are you alright?"

Garen looked to her and saw the concern in her eyes. "I never am."

Serana looked as if she was about to say something, but Garen cut her off. "I've lived with this for a long time Serana and I don't doubt I will die with it. Don't worry about me, you get used to it after a while."

"Is there anything I can do?" Serana asked quietly.

"For me? Not really." Garen chuckled, trying to make light of a dark topic. "The only thing that gives me what little sleep where my past doesn't haunt me is for those close to me to be happy."

Garen looked down at Serana, a smile on his face. "The best thing that you can do is, after this mess with your father is done, find out what you truly want in this world and make it yours. Be it to settle down and have a family of your own or to live your life alone in the middle of nowhere, do what would make you the happiest."

"And what about those that you keep from the happiness you want them to have?" Serana asked quietly.

"What? You mean like Lydia and Vex and the dozens of other women that have a hero complex yearning for me?" Garen chuckled and shook his head.

Garen looked to see Serana with a raised eyebrow looking up at him curiously. "I may be thick at times Serana, but I'm not stupid. After a while, even I pick up on these things."

Garen looked out over the water. "No. I won't curse someone with trying to find happiness with me. There is none to be found in arms that only know how to kill. If anything, they would want to know about the past that I so carefully hide. When they find out about that, then it would be more a path of sorrow for them than a path to joy."

"You don't deserve that Garen." Serana whispered to him.

Garen shrugged. "I might not, but it's what life has handed me. Only thing I can do is run with it."

Garen smiled down at her, but his smile faded when he saw the tinges of blue on her lips. "We'd best get you inside."

Garen stood up, and scooped Serana into his arms. He cradled her close to his chest and brought her back into the sanctuary.

When he reached his room, Garen set her down gently on his bed. He made to leave, but Serana's hand on his wrist stopped him. Garen meet her glowing orange eyes and nodded to her silent question. He climbed into his bed and settled down next to her, encircling her in the warmth of his arms. She buried her face into his chest, and it was only a matter of time before he felt her soft even breathing of sleep.

Garen felt a tear streak down his check. Despite everything that he told others, he always had a deep pitted pain in his chest that would never be eased by a lover's embrace. He would never have someone to be the one to listen to his pains and fears. He would never have someone to help bear his burden with. At the same time, without his own selfish thoughts, he would never want anyone to need to bear that burden other than him.


"You really need to stop showing off." Serana spoke once they had crossed the water from Skyrim's mainland to the island of Castle Volkihar.

Garen dismounted from Shadowmere and looked up at her with a toothy grin. "What? You don't like that I'm clever enough to see the bigger applications to frost spells?"

After Garen had helped her off of Shadowmere's back, Serana sent him a glare. "No. Especially not when I don't think of them first."

Garen chuckled. "Hey, I had incentive to think of a better way to cross the water. Shadowmere and I were fine with her swimming us across but nooooo, you didn't want to get wet."

Serana slapped his chest playfully. They had come to the point where they needed to cross the water and Garen had suggested that very thing. Serana had protested against it, so he came up with his bright idea. He had come up with, and then put into action, to freeze the water below them with a frost spell and then Shadowmere would run across it. His plan had worked, barely, and much to Serana's displeasure and to Garen's inflated ego.

"You'd better go girl." Garen spoke to Shadowmere and rubbed her neck. "We can't risk you being seen out here."

Shadowmere bowed her head. Stay safe my Listener. Keep her safe as well.

"I'm always safe! What are you talking about?!" Garen protested to the horse, earning him a snort from both Shadowmere and Serana.

"Still talking to yourself? Or is she actually talking to you?" Serana asked a teasing note to her voice.

Garen had forgotten that Serana couldn't hear Shadowmere. The horse had explained to him that, much like with the Night Mother, only the Listener of the Brotherhood could hear her voice.

"I'm insane so what? You've gotta be worse for sticking around with me for this long." Garen chuckled to her.

Shadowmere snorted and Serana glared at him. Garen shook his head and the horse began swimming back to the mainland.

"So, where is this back door you were talking about?" Garen asked, letting the seriousness back into his voice.

"It's on the side of the island." Serana spoke and motioned for Garen to follow her.

Serana lead him to a small cove set into the island. The cove held an old dock, the stone of the surrounding area was all that was left of the place. Serana began walking towards a nearby set of stairs when Garen caught movement from above them.

Garen grabbed Serana and pulled her to him, he placed a hand over her mouth to stifle the scream she was about to let out. Garen pulled her and himself over to hug the wall of the cliff face. Garen took his hand from her mouth and held a finger up to his lips. Serana looked at the hardened look in his eyes and nodded.

He pulled his bow from his back and nocked an arrow. He scanned the docks around them before seeing a shadow move out towards the waters. Garen pulled back the string of the bow and let his arrow fly. A moment passed before he heard the clatter of bones falling to the stone floor.

"Skeletons." Garen spoke softly to Serana.

"Makes sense. My mother was a master at necromancy, she taught me everything I know." Serana nodded, whispering to him.

"We're going to need to do this the old-fashioned way. I can't risk my thu'um being heard nor can I risk shifting for the same reason." Garen grumbled.

"I have an idea." Serana looked at him with a devious grin on her face.

"I have a feeling I'm not going to like this." Garen sighed a backed away from Serana. Serana's grin widened and she grabbed his arms and leaned next to his head to whisper into his ear.


"I told you I wouldn't like this!" Garen shouted to Serana after dodging a swing from the blade of a skeleton.

"Oh shut up! You're the reason my plan didn't work!" Serana yelled back and sent a spike of ice into the skull of a skeleton.

"How about, your 'plan' was complete shit to start with!" Garen yelled back and bashed a skeleton in the face with is sword, sending its skull flying and its body crumpling to the ground.

"All you had to do was get them all in one spot! How could you screw that up?!" Serana shouted and sent another spike into another skeleton.

"Oh I don't know! Maybe the whole bow using skeletons thing made it hard!" Garen batted the skull off of one skeleton and kicked another off the edge of the highest level to the dock.

Luckily for them, the horde of skeletons that had started out as over two dozen, had been thinned down to only a handful. They both worked well together. Garen kept Serana behind him, being a living shield for her, while she took down enemies with her spikes. Garen batted the skeletons aside and kept them at bay, letting Serana take them down one at a time.

They had been backed up to the door they needed to enter, but the Skeletons kept them from going in. They couldn't risk the skeletons just following them into another group of enemies, so they had to deal with them here and now.

It didn't take them long to finish mopping up the skeletons that were left. When they are all either headless, frozen, or at the bottom of the cove, Garen turned to Serana.

"You ok?" He asked, trying to catch his breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She replied, and her eyes dropped to Garen's side.

He looked down to find a gash in his ribs. The wound wasn't deep and his adrenaline kept him from feeling it. His hand lit up in the soft yellow light of restoration magic and he pressed it to his side. The wound stopped bleeding and healed before their eyes. He looked back up to Serana and smiled.

"Come on. We'd best see if we can't find your mother." Serana nodded and the two stepped inside the castle.

After what seemed like an eternity (but was only really twenty minutes) Garen and Serana stepped out into the open air garden. Garen took in a massive breath of the fresh air, but grimaced.

"I'm going to be smelling death for weeks after this." Garen winced when the near overpowering smell of death came into his nose.

"If you ever come back here Serana, let me know. I'll give you a cart load of scented candles for this forsaken hell hole." Garen spoke and sneezed.

Serana slapped him playfully before stepping onto the stone tiling of the garden. She looked around with worry in her eyes.

"This... This place is wrong. No one has been here in centuries." Serana's voice was quiet, the tinge of sorrow in her voice.

Garen began looking around himself. In the center of the large area, set a sun dial. On second glance, the plates set in the floor of the dial, were actually the moon and not the sun. Around them, in flower beds, pots, and vases, were the rotting and decayed remains of what must have once been a beautiful garden. In one of the flower beds, he saw a slight glint from what little sunlight reached the place.

Garen walked over and picked up the shiny object. From the looks of it, it was a plate from the dial that had been at one point removed.

"Oh great." Serana spoke, drawing Garen's attention to her. "The passages into the castle are sealed off. Now what?"

Garen looked around and found another plate sitting in a pool of rainwater a few feet away. Garen walked to it and pick it up as well. Garen walked up the stairs to one of the sealed off exits to the room, and found another plate to the dial just in front of it. Garen rolled his eyes and picked it up.

Garen looked to Serana to find her looking around and feeling the walls of the courtyard. He sighed and walked back to the dial. He placed two of them back into their proper places before turning to Serana again.

'Hey Serana!" He yelled and she turned to look at him.

"When I find your mother, I'm going to give her a lesson in puzzles." Garen spoke before dropping the last plate into its slot.

The ground under him shook and the titles between the ring of plates and the dial itself sunk into the ground, forming a set of stairs.

Serana looked at him open mouthed. "How did you….?"

Garen chuckled. "I've explored Dwemer ruins a lot. The puzzle traps those geniuses used, make anything we make look like a lame horse made it."

Serana walked over to him and glared up at him. "If your ego gets any bigger, you won't be able to fit into doors." She spoke in a voice that was completely serious, but her eyes held a warm light to them.

"After you lass." Garen chuckled and motioned towards the stairs.

"Really? Chivalry? In a place that could no doubt hold even more undead for us to kill?" Serana looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Just trying to be nice lass, geeze." Garen shook his head and descended the stone stairs, Serana close on his heels.


"Serana." Garen spoke placing his hands on his knees and breathing heavily.

"When… We see… You're mother… I'm going to… Chew her out…." Garen panted out.

"There is… No reason… To be... This…. Paranoid." Garen's knees gave out and he fell face first onto the floor.

"Ow." He groaned out and Serana laughed at him.

"I won't blame you." She laughed and rolled him onto his back.

As Garen struggled to regain his breath from the near constant fighting they'd done getting through this newest set of tunnels, Serana sat down next to him. They had fought for every step they took. They had to fight their way through innumerable numbers of skeletons and gargoyles. They couldn't walk down a hallway without needing to kill something on their way through it.

They had at last, cleared out the tunnels to get to Serana's mother's laboratory. Serana had known her mother had one and that it was in this general area, but she had never actually been here or there.

"You… Ok?" Garen panted out and Serana looked at him.

"Thanks to you, yes." She replied and looked down at the newest hole in his chest armor.

During their last fight, he had stopped an arrow meant for her by jumping in front of it. His magic had healed it with ease, but the hole where the arrow had struck still served as a reminder.

"Serana." He said softly once his breathing had returned to normal. "It's not your fault. I have plenty more scars than just that one and it doesn't hurt anymore."

"I don't want to be the reason for one of those scars to be your last." Serana spoke softly and looked away from him.

"Serana." He spoke softly and cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at him. "If the time came to it, I would give my life for you to be safe. It's not your choice, it's mine. As long as I still have breath in my lungs however, I will see to it that neither of us meet an early grave."

Serana wrapped him in a tight embrace. Inspite of what he had told her, his entire body was sore from the abuse he had put it through for the last few hours and her hug didn't help any. Serana buried her face into the crook of his neck and shoulder, he could feel wetness on his skin.

"You're all I have in this world Garen." She spoke, managing to keep the sob out of her voice. "I can't lose you."

"Aye lass." Garen whispered softly and hugged her back. "It'll take more than a few arrows to take me from this world."

For what seemed like hours, Garen sat there simply holding Serana while she cried herself dry into him. He sat there, gently rocking her back and forth, letting her let loose emotions that had no doubt been hidden away for longer than even she could remember.

After a long time of Garen simply holding Serana and offering what comfort he could, Serana looked up at him. Her eyes were bloodshot and tear lines streaked her cheeks. Garen gently brushed them away with his thumbs and she smiled at him.

"Thank you." She whispered softly to him.

"No thanks needed lass." He smiled back down at her.

Serana stood up and Garen followed her back to his feet. She looked to the last hallway that had been hidden behind both a wall and a gargoyle.

"We'd best see what's at the end of the tunnel." She spoke somberly and Garen nodded.

The two walked to the tunnel and up a flight of stairs ending in a door. The door was locked, but Garen wasted no time in picking the simple contraption. Garen placed his hand on the knob and looked to Serana.

"Ready?" He asked and she only nodded.

Garen opened the door and a wave of cold stale air rushed out to meet them. Garen stepped inside the door and torches flickered to life around the large room they had come to.

Garen looked around the massive room with wide eyes. If he were raiding the place, this would be a jackpot for the ages. The walls around the room were lined with innumerable shelves and all of them were filled. The shelves contained any number of valuables, ranging from ancient tomes to alchemy and enchanting reagents. He looked around to see a large section of shelving filled with every kind of soul gem one could think of, both filled an empty. Another large section held only Daedra hearts.

Garen's jaw dropped and he swore he was drooling. Everywhere he looked he saw vast sums of unconverted coin, just sitting there. An uncharacteristic giggle coming from Serana broke him out of his dream like awe.

"What?" He looked at her and she grinned at him.

"You look like a kid in a candy store." She giggled at him and began looking at one of the shelves of books.

"I think it could be more compared to the first time I saw a woman naked, just this is waaaaaaay better." Garen felt his hands twitching at his sides, eager to begin shoving the items around the room into his pockets.

"That's not weird at all." Serana giggled from a book she had picked up.

"Shut up! If I took and sold even half of this to the right people I could live like a king from now to the day I die!" Garen exclaimed excitedly.

Garen looked to a table beside him. Sitting atop it were even more piles of herbs and reagents that Garen had no clue what they were used for. Under the pile, the spine of a worn and tattered book poked out at him. He carefully removed it from the pile and began leafing through it. The writing was neat and clean. To him it was all nonsense, but he recognized that it was a journal or notebook, not a printed tome.

"Serana. Did your mother keep a notebook?" Garen asked walking over to the vampire.

"Yes she did…" Serana looked up from her own book and looked at one in Garen's hands.

"And that's it." Serana put the book in her hands back on a shelve and snatched the notebook away from him.

"Maybe there's something in here saying where she is hiding." She hurriedly leafed through the book.

Her eyes lit up and her hands stopping their turning of the pages. She looked up to Garen with awe in her eyes. "She.. She went to the Soul Cairn."

Serana spoke as though this was some big deal, but the name didn't ring a bell. "I take it that's bad for us?"

"Not necessarily. I just have no clue as to how to get there." Serana sighed and seemed to deflate.

"So what is this Cairn place?" Garen asked still confused as to the significance of the name.

"It's the place where souls used in soul gems go after the gem is destroyed." Serana spoke reading her mother's notebook still.

"Here. It says that she has a portal here in the laboratory and the ingredients needed to open it. Only problem is that one of them is her blood." Serana looked up at him defeatedly.

"Why not use yours? She's your mother so you two have the same blood, or close to it." Garen spoke, offering his only idea. When it came to magic other than that used for healing and the basics of destruction, he was out of his element.

"That might work. We'd need to try it to know." Serana spoke, a hopeful spark to her eyes.

The two of them looked around for the reagents needed. Once they had them, and Garen's pockets were a bit fuller, the two of them stood on the balcony overlooking the rest of the room. Sitting in the center of the balcony was a small basin. According to the notebook, the reagents were to be placed into the basin and then the blood added last.

Serana placed the reagents into the basin, but hesitated when she pulled out her dagger. Garen placed a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him.

"If you need it, I'll do it for you." He spoke evenly, but she shook her head.

"Here goes nothing." Serana mumbled and cut into her hand.

She winced in pain, but the look faded when her blood began to drop into the basin over the reagents. The ground around them shook and Serana pulled her hand back, cradling it to her chest.

Below them, some of the tiling that made up the floor lifted up out of the ground and swirled to make a set of stairs leading to the floor. The area where the tiles had once been was now a swirling dark purple portal.

Garen lit his hand up in a soft yellow light and took Serana's hand in his. When his palm touched hers, she winced in pain, but the look was gone as soon as it had come. Garen looked to Serana's eyes and smiled.

"Ready?" He asked, nodding to the portal below them.

'Together?" She asked in response.

"Together." He smiled back.

Hand in hand, the two took the first step down to the portal. Something inside him screamed at him. Something yelled that this wasn't right. Something inside him cringed when the dark purple light touched his boots.