T, D, DD, K, T, or P chapter 9: I'm baaack! Pt. 2

Previously on T, D, DD, K, T, or P:

"Has everyone forgotten that we're still here?" Terra asked.

Oh yeah… Wait! Terra, you can't be here because you need to be inside the castle.

"Why?"

For later chapters…

"Oh yeah! Gotta go!" Terra flew on his Keyblade into the castle.

"What about me?" Aqua asked.

Hmm… I guess you could go with Terra. I don't know how that would work with my plan though.

Aqua had already left into the castle along with everyone else.

Looks like I'm all alone…

No you aren't.

Here we go with the talking to myself thing again.

Why? You don't like being with me.

I do but... I don't think that this relationship isn't going to work out... people keep asking questions about us... and they keep getting suspicious. I-it's not you! It's them...

Oh great, are you gonna ignore me completely now? I still think that we should talk, but just not as much.

You still have to narrate, though.

...

I'm serious!

...

Fine, I see how it is. I guess there's no more chapter since there's no more narrator.

Narrator… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. But now, I don't care what people think of us! We can talk to each other all you want! I don't need those meanies. It's just you and me against the world now!

I need you Narrator! Please! I'm sorry!

Do you really mean that?

Of course I do! You are everything that I am, Self! I am literally nothing without you! So please, pretty please with cherries and sugar and love and puppies and all that weird stuff on it, please come back! I feel so empty without you…

Okay. I'll forgive you for breaking up with me on one condition.

Oh no… please don't dare me to teach someone how to give a lap dance.

No, nothing like that. But you have to promise me that you will call me everyday. And you have to sing me to sleep at night. And you have to buy me candy when I feel sad. And you-

That's more than one condition.

Do you want me to narrate or not?

Yes!

Alright then… … …

Group 1: Namine, Demyx, Fuu, and… more or less, Ven

"Demyx… I-I'm s-s-s-scared…" Namine said and coward behind Demyx.

"It's okay Namine. We just need to find- DANCE WATER DANCE!"

"W-what?"

"Huh? Oh… sorry sometimes I have these odd impulses when I sense trouble coming."'

"T-trouble…?"

"It's probably nothing though, don't worry."

"Okay, thanks Demy."

"Demy?"

"Yeah, it's the shorter way of saying Demyx."

"No it's not. Demy = 2 syllables, Demyx also = 2 syllables. They're the same… but Demy sounds like a girl name. If you want to go with a cute and short name just say Dem."

"I'm trying to flirt with you, OKAY?"

"That's how you flirt? You have much to learn Xiao Namine."

"Teach me, Sensei!"

"I will!"

The author rolled her eyes. Idiots…

Then Fuu looked at Ventus who was being carried on Demyx's shoulder. Ven Ven…

Group 2: Tidus, Selphie, Vanitas, and Kairi

"What's wrong, Vani?" Kairi asked and saw Vanitas looking down with a sad face.

"Don't call me Vani. You can only call me Vanitas. Or Vanitas The Bad-Ass… Actually, just call me Vanitas The Bad-Ass."

"How come the author gets to call you 'Vani'?" Tidus asked.

"…she's special."

"Awww!" Selphie said and clasped her hands together. "Where is she anyway? She's always with us."

"I think she's with another group." Tidus said.

"Too bad she wasn't here to hear that. She would have felt so happy…"

"Vanitas?" Kairi looked over to him.

"Vanitas The Bad-Ass." He corrected.

"Eh… Vanitas The Bad-Ass? Do you… like MiMi?"

"…"

"YOU DO? Oh my gosh I can't believe it! Why don't you tell her?"

"Because… if I show anyone that I have feelings, then they won't respect me."

"We will respect you, Vanitas The Bad-ass." Tidus assured him. "In fact, we should start calling you Vanitas The Nice-ass! Or Vanitas The Good-Ass! Or Vanitas the Pleasant-Ass!"

"Do you know how gay you sound right now?" Vanitas asked. (A/N: No disrespect to homosexuals. Because homosexuals are people too! Everyone is equal no matter what their sexual orientation is! And as people of the human race, we should stick together and not discriminate against others… I should stop talking now, shouldn't I?")

Group 3: Larxene, Axel, Hayner, and Olette

"Axel? Do you even know where we are?" Olette asked.

"Of course I know where we are! We just have to swim over here and…" Axel looked around, "DAMMIT weren't we already here? !"

"Axel… as much as I like to see you struggling, we need to climb back up to the castle gates, go to the main entrance and use High Jump and glide to get on that balcony thingy over there." Larxene pointed out.

"…But I don't have those skills yet."

"Well…damn."

Group 4: Amai, Pence, Xion, and Riku.

"We need to find Roxas, QUICK!" Xion yelled anxiously, "I NEED JESSE MCCARTNEY'S NUMBER!"

"Ow! You screamed that in my ear!" Pence rubbed his ear.

"Xion…" Amai said, "I will tell you this now from experience: If you get too obsessed with boys then your family will think you're crazy and make you see a hypnotist."

Xion ignored her and started to go on and on about how she's Jesse's biggest fan and how much she can't wait to meet him.

Group 1

"Dem? Where do babies come from?" Namine asked.

"Well… when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much…"

No. Freaking. Way! *face palm* why the hell did I join this group?

Group 2

"Vanitas likes MiMi! Vanitas likes MiMi!" Selphie and Tidus teased.

Group 3

"So… what you're saying is that I have to put my left foot in, and then my left foot out, then put it back in, then shake it all about?"

"Axel, I didn't even say anything remotely close to that." Larxene sighed. "In order to do the high jump then glide you have to…"

Group 4

"I DON'T WANT ANOTHER PRETTY FACE! I DON'T WANT JUST ANYONE TO HOLD! I DON'T WANT MY LOVE TO GO TO WASTE…"

Group 5

What the…? There's no group five.

Back to group 4

"IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT! IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT! DON'T GET MAD IF YOU SEE THAT HE WANT IT! IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT! WOAH OH OH…"

"Xion that's not even a Jesse McCartney song!"

"ALL THE SINGLE LADIES (ALL THE SINGLE LADIES)! NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP!"

"Xion shut up!" Riku yelled.

"Here! I'll give her one of the pills that the doctors gave me." Amai reached into her purse.

"Why did they give you pills?"

"Because I would never be able to keep my cool like I am now around you, without these beauties."

"Where have you been carrying that purse?" Pence asked.

"In my pocke-"

"That joke is getting old…"

"Nevermind where I've had it. Just give Xion one of these pills!" Amai handed the pill to Riku.

"Xion, look!" Riku opened his palm to show her the pill. "It's an official Jesse McCartney umm… candy!"

"MINE!" Xion snatched the pill from his hand. "My precious~!"

"Eat it!" They all screamed.

Group 2:

"Vanitas likes MiMi!"

"Kairi, I'm going to kill them."

"I know, Vanitas The Bad-Ass… I know…"

Group 1

"So that's what [bleep] means? I would have never guessed." Namine said.

"It seemed like you knew all about that type of stuff a few chapters ago, though."

"That's because the author told me to do and say those awful things."

Namine! That was supposed to stay a secret!

"Wait… does this mean that you don't smoke, you know… stuff?"

"Uhmm… *ahem* like I said before… my friend has glaucoma…"

Liar!

Group 4… again

"Riku… how much longer is this going to take to get to where ever Maleficent is?" Pence asked.

"Who knows? Weeks… years…" Riku yawned.

"Why will it take that long?" Amai asked.

"Because I do not want to see that creepy, old, decrepit, thing that they call Maleficent again. The whole time I was with her in the dark, she would always talk about heartless. Heartless this, heartless that."

"You did that to yourself." Xion sighed.

"You just HAD to succumb to the darkness, didn't you?" Pence sighed.

"Wait… I'm confused." Amai scratched her head, "I thought that Maleficent was just a creepy stalker witch. But now you're saying that you were with her in the dark succumbing to it?"

"…eww that sentence was just wrong in so many ways…" Pence snickered.

"I think the author is having some plot confusion." Riku ignored Pence's remark. "Author! Author! What is going on with the storyline? It's all jacked up! You mixed kh1 with your own weird story! It makes no sense! Author!"

"The author is not here. But you will wish that she was… MWAHAHAHAHA!" A creepy voice yelled.

"(gulp)"

Group 3

"I think I get it now! I have to put my RIGHT foot in, then put my RIGHT foot out, then put my RIGHT foot back in, then shake it all about!"

"What is wrong with you?"

Group 2

"Vanitas likes Mimi-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"…"

"Wait… did you guys here that?" Kairi asked.

"Here what?"

"SHH! Something's coming!"

The group was walking under the castle where you use air bubbles as transportation. They hid behind a wall.

"Ohhhh no… Maleficent's gonna kill me! Where did those kids go? !" A voice said.

Selphie was about to gasp at the Voice but Tidus covered her mouth.

"Darn kids… hello? HELLO? Come out, come out wherever you are!" The voice began to grumble, "Why do I always get stuck with the babysitting?"

The voice began to get clearer and the footsteps began to get louder. Then, finally they saw a large figure walk past them.

"(gasp!) Pete!"

'Pete' was about to walk past them but he heard Selphie gasp.

"SELPHIE!" Everyone but Pete yelled.

"Ha! Found ya!"

Group 1

"Where are we?" Namine asked.

"I think we have to go to the Lift Stop to get to the Castle Chapel where Maleficent is." Demyx said.

"How do you know that?"

"That's what this KH game guide says."

"Shouldn't we go find the others? I mean… we can't save Sora and Roxas by ourselves…"

Yes you can! I mean you're Demyx and Namine! Demyx and Namine! And Fuu…

"You're right! We can!"

I will be able to help you too! I am the author after all.

"Okay so let's go!"

Group 3

"We should stop trying to explain to Axel how to use high jump and just go into the main entrance." Olette said.

"Yeah… I guess so." Larxene sighed.

"You fools… you should have left when you had the chance! Now it's too late to do anything! MWAHAHA!"

A Dark Corridor was opened and Larxene, Axel, Hayner, and Olette were sucked into the darkness and into somewhere else in the castle.

Group 1

"Roxas! Sora! There you are!" Namine yelled to the two boys who were hog-tied with their mouths cover and lying in the center of the large room.

"Mmmm! Mmmm!" Sora tried to warn the group but they couldn't understand them.

"Wha-"

Before the group knew it they were knocked across the room by Maleficent.

Maleficent! Give us Roxas and Sora back!

"Never! Not until Riku comes back to the darkness!"

Riku doesn't want to be back into the darkness. So stop being a whiny bitch and let our friends go!

"Why does Riku hate the darkness? He accepts darkness, yet he chooses to live in the light. So why is it that you loathe us who teeter on the edge of nothing; we, who were turned away by both light and darkness, never given a choice? What other choice might we have had?"

"Hey! That's just like my quote!" Xemnas came out of no where.

"Give me Riku! I know you have him, Xemnas! Where is he? Tell me NOW!"

"I will never tell you where he is! I will guide him into the right path of darkness!"

"No! I will!"

This is enough! Stop arguing about Riku! Obviously he doesn't like either of you so get over him! I am so tired of this! Xemnas, just give me Riku and the rest of the group so we can all go home. And if you don't I will kill you.

"I can't believe I went through all of this for nothing…" Xemnas rubbed his forehead. "Fine… here are your friends."

Xemnas opened a Dark Corridor and out came Larxene, Axel, Hayner, Olette, Amai, Pence, Xion, and Riku.

"Woah… where are we?" Axel asked.

Who cares? Let's just get out of this castle.

The author poofed everyone that was in the room, excluding Xemnas and Maleficent, back to Amai and Kairi's house.

"That… was just… I don't even know…" Sora said.

"I'm glad that none of us got hurt." Kairi said. "But… I kind of feel like we're forgetting something…"

"Yeah… something important…" Xion put a finger on her chin to show that she was thinking.

"Hmmm…"

"Me too…"

"Weird…"

Oh… shit!

"What?"

~Meanwhile in the castle…~

"Maleficent! Look! I got those hostages you asked for!" Pete said and pushed Vanitas, Kairi, Tidus, and Selphie into the Castle Chapel.

Just as Maleficent was going to do an evil laugh and plot to go after Riku again, the group of four was poofed back to Kairi and Amai's house.

"Darn it!"

~Back to the K.A. household~

"I can't believe you forgot us!" Kairi shouted.

"Yeah! I thought you cared about us!" Selphie and Tidus agreed. Vanitas stayed silent and went back to his seat on the floor.

I still kind of feel like I'm forgetting something though.

"Nah, I think we're all here."

~Back to the castle again! ~

"Author? I thought you needed me to be in the castle!" Terra said with Aqua next to him. "Author? Author? ! AUTHOR?"

"The author… she has gone, kupo." Aqua said then fainted on to the floor.

"AUTHOOOOOR!"

~I'm really getting tired of these switches… just guess where we are right now ~

"It's your turn to spin Xion." Ventus, who was now awake, said.

"Okay…" Xion went to the center of the circle. "I will hopefully be able to do a dare."

Spin

Spin

Spin

Spin

Spin

Spin…

Olette.

"Yes! It worked!" Xion cheered.


OmegaStarShooter14: Haha nobody got hurt (thank Etro!). But I think Xion is too worried about Jesse McCartney to think about Roxas at the moment.

Silver Dawn: I have no idea what would happen if he said that... Ven would lose his virginity maybe? XD haha no... and you didn't get it stuck in your head? No fair! But that duck was pretty funny.

Tonstaaar: Thanks again for reviewing even though you're busy! You are wonderful!

Mystery: I will have them talk more from now on. And the whole spider thing, i will have to think about who would get it a spider thrown at them but i think i have an idea of who it will be... But now there is no more Fourth Wall in this story! It's gone forever i think...

KassyKid: Don't worry i didn't take it the wrong way. I love criticism! It helps me to become a better writer. Sorry if this chapter was a little too random, though. I just really needed to update something. But next chapter I will have the randomness toned down. Oh and if you're talking about the parts where there is sarcasm, I'm really sorry. My friends always tell me that I use sarcasm too much and when it isn't even necessary. It's just a bad habit that i have and i really gotta get rid of it.

Keyblader1997: Ohhhh! That's what it means... i thought it was like WTF backwards but then that wouldn't make any sense. For The Win. I like that :D but next chapter they will talk more. I promise!

Guest/Anonymous: The characters will kind of be OOC in this story... sorry. but I will make Axel less thickheaded in the future chapters... he was kind of a dunce in this one. But most of the times where Axel and Larxene aren't talking they are probably making out! XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. All rights go to Square Enix and Disney.

Inspiration: Truth, Dare, DoubleDare, Kiss, Tell, or Marriage? by The Ladies Man.

xxxHikari-Kuraixxx (xxxLight-Darkxxx)