I don't join everyone else for dinner after the interviews. Instead I head straight to the roof. I know all talk will be on the interviews. I want to forget them. I feel so sorry for Katniss and Peeta. Their chances of being together are slim. Everyone knows only the careers win these games. Unless of course someone can outsmart them.
Up on the roof you can hear the capitol citizens partying. This is the most awaited event of the year for them. All I can think about is how much I hate them. They are betting on who will die and who will not. How can they find this entertaining? Watching children die. Forced to kill each other. Do they like seeing weak tributes being slaughtered by their favourites to win? It makes me sick. I'd like to see their children put into the arena and then see how they feel when we are betting on whether their children will live.
Suddenly I hear the door open so I hide. It's Peeta. He sits on the edge of the roof and stares out. Not looking at anything in particular, just staring. Then I hear the silent sobs. He brings his bandaged hands up to his face and wipes away the escaped tears. Suddenly the door opens again and I see Katniss walk towards him. They sit opposite each other and stare at festival for a while.
"I'm sorry I pushed you and cut your hands" I hear Katniss say. They both don't realise that I'm up here so I stay hidden and wait for them to go.
"It's ok" says Peeta looking straight at Katniss. "I was never a contender in these games anyway" they stare at each other for few minutes. I get drawn in and want to her what is going to be said next.
"I don't want them to change me" Peeta continues
"How would they change you?" Katniss asks
"I don't know…..turn me into something I'm not….I just don't want to be another piece in there games" I don't get what Peeta means. 'Another piece in there games' what could that mean. Peeta continues to talk so I listen carefully.
"I just keep wishing I could think of a way to show them that they don't own me. If I die I want to still be me…does that make any sense?" To me it doesn't but Katniss seems to get it.
"Yeh …..I just can't afford to think like that" is Katniss's answer. She continues to speak "just concentrate on staying alive, that how you'll win" then Peeta says something that really angers Katniss. He says "thanks for the tip, sweetheart" Katniss storms out. I don't know what that was all about but I think I have realised what Peeta was saying. I think he was saying that if he dies in the arena then he wants to die himself. He doesn't want to die a murderer. He doesn't want the games to change him. I totally agree with what Peeta is saying I wouldn't want to die with the mind of a murder, I would want to die as me, with the love of music and the fear of my loved once getting hurt.
Soon I creep off the roof and into the elevator where I ram my finger into the 11 button and charge to my room. It has just dawned on me that in few hours I will be getting ready to go into the arena. I lie on my bed and breakdown. Sobbing. All I can think about is my family. What if I die? I have to win for them. They need the food and the money. If I die then so will they.
