So wow I can't quite believe this chapter is ready to post and it is one of the chapters I have had more fun writing lately. It took on a whole new dynamic when I added the final bits edits to it this evening.
I had a really horrible lack of reviews of the last chapter but I'm trying not to let that dishearten me. It really helps me write when I know someone is reading and there is some energy for me to feed off.
But alas you can't have it all.
Enjoy ...
I wash my hair too to give myself the extra few minutes to calm down. It's very therapeutic and I think that maybe just maybe I will manage to not make a fool of myself tonight.
The minute I dry myself off and think about what to wear I feel panic wash over me again. I don't really do sexy nightwear. I'm used to sleeping in oversized men's t-shirts and sleep shorts. And I had to throw most of them out when I broke up with Sebastian because half of them were his. He used to tell me he didn't like it. That it made him feel like he was sleeping next to a little boy and the memory of that slices through me making me feel self conscious once more. I have been sleeping in a teenage mutant ninja turtles and sponge bob sleep sets that Simon got me as a joke for my birthday and I can hardly wear that in front of Jace.
I dive into my wardrobe and pull out bag that's at the back of my cupboard. Something Izzy gave me last week as an early Christmas present after she helped me get ready for the party. She had joked it would probably come in useful and I hadn't had the heart to open it when I saw the Victoria's Secret bag it came in. It had just been too embarrassing that she knew I needed her help in that department.
I pull it open now and go through it turning a deeper and deeper shade of red as I go through the lacy lingerie and underwear she has bought me. Some of it just plain indecent and I'm not sure I'll be able to pull them off. There are some items I would consider wearing which are more reasonable and I'm pretty sure Jace would love to see me in these but that wouldn't help with the whole keeping our hands off each other situation. And the thing I really need is a pair of pyjamas. I'm just about to give up when I get to bottom of the bag and there is a pile of sleepwear.
Tiny little sets of camisoles and sleep shorts. And satin and lace baby dolls that are see through in lots of places and I'm about to give up when I see something that just might work.
It's a little night dress but it's in a jersey fabric and almost looks remotely decent. It is black has tiny little straps with lace trim along the bottom and at the neckline. I pull it on and it comes down to my mid thigh which a covering a lot more than the others. It has a built in bra which definitely helps. It's sexy and it's just showing the right amount of skin without looking slutty.
I look at myself in the mirror and I can't help but feel a little pleased and surprised at how good it looks. I want to look nice for him and it's been a long time since I've wanted to do that for anyone and it makes me feel like a teenager again.
I wonder if I should put some makeup on but I stop myself before I get carried away. I know he's seen me as I am for three years. He likes me just as I am and even though I really want to do more I settle for a bit of lip balm and I quickly run a brush through my unruly curls and take a deep breath before walking out of the door.
He's sitting on the couch and his eyes widen slightly when he sees me. He takes me in and his gaze lingers on me for me longer than it should and the way he's looking at me makes my burn up and I'm sure I must be stupidly red right now. I curse my pale skin for making my blush so visible. Maybe this was too much. I feel my stomach flip and I want to run back inside and change when he beckons me towards him with a smirk.
He pulls me into his lap when I try to sit down next to him and gives me a reassuring chaste kiss on the lips and sighs as he looks up at me and I don't expect what he says next.
"I'm going to take you up on the shower..." he says calmly as I stare at his perfect face. I think his might be a cold one from the way his eyes are almost completely black right now and he's refusing to meet my own. His hands are gripping my hips lightly and I wonder what is going through his mind right now. He looks a little lost so I take his hands in mine removing them from my hips and pull him up with with me and lead him over to my bedroom.
I show him where everything is and pull out a towel for him and quickly exit the room before I give in to all the dirty little fantasies that having him in my bedroom is conjuring up in my mind.
I wait for the food to turn up while watching random tv shows to distract myself from thinking about it. It barely works. What I wouldn't give to be joining him in that shower right now. I giggle at this thought because it so isn't me. What has he done to me?
He showers and comes out in his boxers just after the food arrives and now it's my turn for my eyes to pop out of my head. He could have at least kept his shirt on. But I know that's hypocritical considering the outfit I am in. I remember how he looked at me and I feel brave for a moment as I let my gaze wander all over him.
He is so hot and he's pretty much naked not that I haven't seen him in less before but that's besides the point. I colour and look down at my hands to calm myself but that just makes me remember running my hands over his body earlier this evening and it makes me blush harder than I thought possible. He looks like a runway model and here I am pale like milk with a mess of curly red hair. What does he see in me? I just don't get it.
I can tell that he knows the effect he has on me but he sits down next to me leaving a little space between us so I don't spontaneously combust. He picks one of the takeout containers and hands me a set of chopsticks with it.
We both start eating as he leans back and pulls me against him as if it's he most natural thing in the world. His arm is behind me and I look up at him feeling a little calmer now and he looks down at me and brushes an errant curl off my forehead before he starts to talk.
He asks me about my day and what I have planned for the rest of the week so casually making small talk. I know he's just trying to calm me down but he still makes it seem like this is so normal as if we do this everyday. He's so charming I can see why he does so well at work. He makes me believe that he wants to hear what I have to say no matter how small and insignificant. I feel a lot calmer the longer we talk and I'm thankful that he knows exactly what I needed. I just don't understand how he does it.
In turn I ask him the same and what he was working on this evening (before I disturbed him). He tells me about the campaign and then I realise which account he's taking about. I expect him to tell me all about how he landed the biggest account the company has ever had. It was the biggest piece of gossip around the office a few months ago and everyone was vying to work with him on it. But instead he doesn't boast or even tell me anything to that effect.
He tells me about the client and how hard his team have been working to ensure that they're happy. That it might mean a few late nights but it's worth it when they pull off all of the hard work it will all be worth it.
How can he be so modest? I know he is more than just overseeing the project. The way he talks about I know he is putting his all into it and working above and beyond. He asks what I think about it and asks if I'd look over the design work for him like my opinion is important. I'm not sure if he's just being nice but it makes me feel good that he trusts me.
And before I know it all the food is gone.
He helps me tidy up and walks me to my bedroom door. I take his hand and pull him in before my nerves get the better of me. I want to spend a little more time with him before we go to sleep.
So we sit under the covers and talk some more. About everything and anything and soon it is past my bedtime. I yawn and it makes me realise how tired I am now.
He's holding my hands in his as we sit side by side with me leaning against him. And just I don't understand how we got here. How I feel so comfortable around him despite the short amount of time I've known him.
He kisses me then, a slow and gentle kiss that has me wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him as close as I can. He pulls away after a while and leans his forehead against mine before slowly disentangling himself from me. He starts to get up and I realise I don't want him to go.
"Where are you going?" I ask him yawning.
"You need some sleep babe... you're so tired." he says gently smiling at me as I try to stifle my yawn. He's standing at the side of my bed now shaking his head as I try to keep myself upright.
"And where are you going to sleep?" I ask him wondering what he's going to say.
"On the couch ..." he says confused by my line of questioning.
"I don't want you to sleep on the couch Jace." I say sighing that he would think that. I must have come on a little to strong with my protests earlier this evening.
"You don't?" He asks quietly, his eyes lighting up as if he wasn't expecting it.
"That couch would be a pretty awful punishment, you know that. Get in." I say patting the space next to me as I slide down to lie down.
"If you're sure." He says eyeing me cautiously.
"Mmm get in before I change my mind..." I say teasingly and he grins as he climbs back into bed next to me. I hit the lights and we're plunged into darkness.
He's right I am really tired and I wonder how he seems so alert and wide awake as the first vestiges of sleep take over my mind and I relax completely.
He pulls me against him but it's not sexual at all just comforting and I realise this is the safest I have felt in a long time. His strong arms wrap around me and make me feel so small but protected.
"Night baby." He says kissing my lips gently one last time.
"Night." I say glad that I'm too sleepy to overanalyse any of this and ruin the perfectness of this moment.
It feels so good to be in his arms but I'm so tired now and as much as I want to enjoy it. As much as I want to remember exactly how this feel and hold onto this moment for as long as I can I am soon fast asleep.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I wake up to a warm content feeling. Kisses are being littered over my neck and face and then it comes back to me. Jace is still here and I fell asleep in his arms last night. I'm not sure if it was how tired I was or just being in his arms but it is one of the best nights of sleep I've had in a while. This is also the best wake up call ever. I smile as my senses are filled with him. How did I get so lucky?
"Mmmm..." I groan in a completely unsexy way, "My alarm didn't go off. Did I make you late?"
"I switched it off before it went off, I figured you didn't need it since I was already awake..." Jace explains as I sit up and take him in all his early morning glory, "You still have another 15 minutes."
He looks so sexy with his hair mussed from sleep that I can't help but grin at him.
"It's unfair that you're such a morning person," I whine as he gets up off the bed and heads towards the door, "where are you going?"
"I made some breakfast... let me bring it to you." He says pausing at the door.
"You made me breakfast?" I ask sitting up straighter suddenly wide awake at the mention of food.
"I thought we could eat it in bed." He says winking at me as he disappears.
He brings me back a tray of pancakes and a cup of coffee and we sit down on the bed across next to each other and eat. I literally inhale it all because I'm so hungry without even pausing to speak.
"You're heaven sent you know that." I say finally looking up at him as I sip my coffee.
"If I can get you to do one thing in this relationship it will be to eat your damned breakfast. Maybe then you wouldn't be so grumpy every morning." He says teasingly. It doesn't even surprise me that he knows this because it's a very well known fact around the office that I am not a morning person.
"Control freak." I say giggling at this.
"Oh you love it." He says nudging me playfully with his shoulder he
"Maybe ..." I say in an equally playful tone, "God this was so good... its unfair that you're so good at everything." I don't know how he managed to scrounge together such a delicious breakfast with the limited amount of basics I had in the fridge and in the cupboards.
He chuckles at this and then his face suddenly becomes a little more serious and I'm worried that I've done something to ruin the moment.
"You know if you move in with me you could have this every morning. I would gladly make you breakfast every morning if ..." he says in a low voice that makes me think he doesn't want me to hear him and then cuts himself off as he turns slightly pink as if he's embarrassed.
My eyes widen slightly and he looks away sighing.
"I'm sorry ... I know I shouldn't say things like that but I can't help it ..." he says shaking his with a sheepish look but he still won't look at me.
"Jace... it's okay ..." I say, "I like it when you tell me what you're thinking."
He looks back at me now and takes a deep breath. The look in his eyes is unreadable and I blink at him.
"I wasn't joking last night. If I contact my landlord today we can have your name added to the lea.. tenancy agreement by lunchtime." He says quickly but firmly. He sounds like he's trying to close a sale and it amuses me because I'm pretty sure this is probably the worst he has ever been at it.
I try not to look shocked at what he's actually saying when the reality of the words sink in but I can't help it. He's asking me to move in with him? I should feel really freaked out but I'm not funnily enough. Part of me, a pretty big part of me is actually enjoying this. The way he makes me feel so wanted but I reel it in because I know it's not fair. How can he want me to move in with him and how can I actually be considering this. It's actually insane.
After a long pause of us just staring at each other. He's not saying anything now but I can see he's analysing me. Trying to figure out what I'm thinking.
"You know it's sweet that you would offer, it really is. But I couldn't let you do that." I say gently my eyes not quite meeting his, "And what if we get sick of each other. I mean ... We just got together ..."
"We're together and I'm not going to get sick of you.I've been waiting for you for a long time. And you didn't disappoint." He says so earnestly and I can tell building himself up and getting ready to try and change my mind. He's not giving up that easily. He wouldn't be Jace if that was the case. I try not to let his words get to me but when I finally meet his gaze and see the intensity in his eyes, it's making me we want to kiss him. Kiss his perfect mouth as hard as I can but I hold back.
"It's too soon and even if I did want to I'm paid up on this place until January..." I counter in an unconvincing tone and I realise then I do want it. I want to be able to wake up with him every day and it scares and excites me in equal measure. I let out a huff of disbelief as I realise just how much I want it.
"Clary ...?" he asks smirking at me his eyes lighting up, his voice changing back to his usual cocky sureness that I haven't had the benefit of hearing since last night because he has been on his best behaviour, "you sound like you're actually considering this because if even a small part of you is considering this I sure could help you reach the right decision ... are you considering it, baby?" He asks the last words as he pulls my chin to face him so I can't look away. He says it in such a seductive yet cocky way as if he can see through me and as if he can see my resolve breaking. That cocky tone that I love more than I hate. The look in his eyes is too much. It's doing strange things to me ... strange yet delicious things to my body.
"Jace ... stop this..." I say my eyes widening when I realise what's happening to me, "you can't ... I'm sorry ..." I can't let him do this. I can't let him convince me. This goes against everything I believe in. I think ...
"Clary ... give me one good reason ... just one and I'll stop right here ..." he says smirking at me. He knows exactly what effect he's having on me and it's so unfair. I'm like putty in his hands right now.
I pull myself out of his grasp and shake my head vigorously until I'm out from under his spell and he let's out a chuckle as I move my body to create some space between us.
I look up at him feeling my resolve build again and give him a look that I hope exudes determination.
"I'll have you know ... I have plenty of reasons but the first and most obvious one is not going to change ..." I say firmly, "my budget isn't as big as yours when it comes to rent. Have you seen this shithole? I just about managed to cover the place I was renting with Seb- my ex."
"Clary ... Please ..." he scoffs, dismissing it instantly as if he doesn't believe me.
"Jace, I just couldn't. I'm not going to lie to you. That wouldn't be fair on either of us." I say shaking my head.
"That's not what I meant." He says lightly, "I already live there by myself you wouldn't need to pay rent. It's not like I'd be paying any extra." He's not meeting my eyes though because he knows me well enough to know this is not something I would agree to.
"Jace... Don't you dare." I say appalled that he would even suggest it, "I'm not that girl ... I'll never be that girl."
"Clary ..." he says gently.
"That's not what I meant." I say sadly as he closes the space between us and pulling me into his lap, "that's not what I meant at all..."
"I know it isn't what you meant." He says kissing my shoulder gently, "And I didn't mean it like that either. I know being independent is important to you. Please just think it over. I have a spare room and it's empty. Nobody is in it and you being in it would certainly make my life a bit easier and I wouldn't be stressed thinking that your safety. I could be with you in the way I've always wanted. I could do all the things I've imagined doing with you over these past few years."
I give him a look that tells him I'm. not convinced. "All the throngs you've imagined doing with me huh? That sounds convenient ..." I say in an amused tone shaking my head. I'm not mad anymore, how could I be? I know he's only trying to show he cares and that he wants me to make my life easier. Maybe not in the way that a normal person would go about it but nothing about our relationship has been conventional so far.
"No not like that." He says sighing but he's amused too I can tell, "But it would certainly help with that too. Baby please ... I'm being purely selfish when I ask you this. Please if only until you find a new place. I promise if you're sick of me after a week or even a day I'll bring you back here and ... we'll work something else out." He looks so crestfallen as if he's just realised how crazy he sounds. How crazy this all is and that he knows his attempts are all in vain. It tugs at my heart to see him like this. So disheartened.
"Jace... You make it sound so tempting but ..." I begin trying to soothe him by cupping his face and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek to soften the blow, "it's just too soon ... you know it is."
"No buts ... Just let me do this one thing for you." He begs, "This tiny thing... please"
"It's not a tiny thing." I say raising my eyebrows at him in challenge.
"Clary ... I'll beg if I need to." He says cupping my face and pulling it up to his I can't escape his earnest gaze, "Please baby. Please ... I'll do anything. Anything if you agree." He murmurs against my ear as his hands drop to cage me against him and I moan as he places a small kiss on the sensitive spot behind my ear.
"Anything?" I ask shakily as my body begins to warm to his touch. He places another few kisses behind my ear and then pulls me up so I'm straddling him my legs on either side of his own.
"Anything." He says firmly looking into my eyes with such honesty that I feel all of my resolve crumble.
He eyes widen slightly and I think he's seen it, seen that the fight is leaving me.
"Anything at all, baby... you name it." He says amused as his kisses move to neck. And he knows what his touch is doing to me and he's enjoying it. His hands move over the skin of my back teasingly and I'm lost under his touch.
"Hmmm ..." I say curiously as my breath hitches as he brazenly sucks at my neck, "stop trying to distract me." I groan not having it in me to pull away because I am definitely enjoying this too much.
"Is it working?" He asks in a lascivious tone as he bites down on my skin gently making me whimper shamelessly. He follows by his tongue running over the skin soothingly and then goes back to sucking at the spot. He is going to leave a mark and it should make me angry but right now it just feels so good.
"Maybe ..." I say my eyes rolling back in my head. But then I remember what I'm agreeing to and I pull away from him so abruptly that I fall almost fall out of bed if it wasn't for him grabbing onto me at the last minute. He pulls me up and deposits me on the bed beside him.
I'm lying there trying to regain my breath and when I look up at him he looks far too pleased with himself. I sit up leaving a good amount of space between us and give him a half hearted glare which makes his face split into the biggest grin I have ever seen him give me. Smug bastard.
"Come on baby, don't tell you didn't enjoy that ..." he says teasingly as he reaches for me.
I lean away from him touch and he gives me an apologetic look before grabbing me by my ankle I let out a yelp of surprise as he pulls me closer until I am under him. I don't even think about moving as he stares me down. It would be an exercise in futility.
He is leaning over me now balancing on his arms so we aren't even touching but he is so close that it's enough to make me feel like we are. The heat from his body is soaking through my clothes and he might as well be on me and he knows it. My body needs him to be touching mine and with every passing second the need grows stronger.
"Fine ..." I concede furiously my face probably tomato red, "I enjoyed it ... so can you just kiss me!"
"I thought you'd never ask..." he managed to get out before his body drops against mine carefully and he rolls over so I'm top of him instead. He sits up so I'm straddling him yet again and pulls me in for a slow tortuous kiss that makes my toes curl and I press myself more firmly against him and cup his face as I take over kissing him hard and fast until he is responding back with equal fervour. We are both out of breath by the time I am done and I lean my forehead against his as he we both gasp for air.
When my lungs stop burning I let out a small whimper and he hugs me close to him. And then I know what it is that I need to say.
"Can I decide what it is later?" I mumble against him hoping his smug ass won't rub it in.
"What?" He asks hesitantly pushing me back gently so we are both looking at each other. His eyes are locked on mine and he looks like he can't quite believe what I'm saying. That he must have misheard. He must know what I mean ... but he looks so uncertain that it makes me grin at him.
"The anything that you're going to do for me for moving in with you." I say teasingly as his eyes grow wide.
"Do you mean it?" He gasps incredulously, "Holy shit ... Do you really mean it?" And the look on his face of pure delight makes me smile.
"So anything ... Anytime i want?" I press grinning, "Anything I want."
"Yes godammit yes!" He cries out pulling me back into his arms holding me against him as he chuckles, "Anything, anytime. Whatever you want it's yours baby. All yours."
"Okay. I'll give you a go, Jace..." I say coyly as he peppers kisses all over my face. He is so damn excited I can't help but feel it too.
"Yes! I'll call make a call now." He says pulling me off him and standing up to grab his phone, "I'll call a moving company. They can have you moved in by tonight."
"Are you sure you don't want to wait a day?" I ask biting my lip suddenly feeling a bit wary about how fast this is happening, "Give yourself a chance to back out."
"No way. Nothing could make me back out..." he says smirking, "nothing at all."
"It might take longer than a day to move my stuff, I have a lot of shit." I say looking at him at and wondering why I'm not feeling panicked when I should. What is it about Jace that has me feeling this way.
"It's all boxed up. Don't, baby. Quit stalling." He says nervously the excitement leaving him as his body tenses. I realise he thinks I might be changing my mind but I'm not. I want this. I really do.
"Okay fine, call them..." I say nodding at him and smiling reassuringly, "God this is insane I must have lost my mind."
His posture relaxes and he gives me smirks and shakes his head. He let's out a breathy laugh that makes me wonder what he's thinking.
"What's so funny? " I ask him bewildered.
"You know that dress you're wearing is really sexy..." he says suggestively his gaze turning dark as he puts his phone back down, "I thought that the moment you walked in wearing it ... of how much I would enjoy taking it off you..."
"Okay ..." I say quietly my cheeks flushing at the sudden turn the conversation has taken. The look in his eyes has turned so dark and hungry that it should scare me but it doesn't. It doesn't because it was Jace and I knew he would never do anything to hurt me.
He's standing in front of me now and he looks at me so adoringly, his gaze running all over my body. I can feel it like like it's searing over my skin hotly and I let out a little nervous laugh. Then he drags his eyes back up to mine and sits down in front of me.
"And I know you said I wasn't going to get lucky last night ..." he whispers as he closes in on me pulling me against him chest, "But it's not last night anymore ..."
He doesn't move just looks at me hesitantly now as if he's waiting for me to push him away. But I really don't want to. I want him. I always want him.
"Jace ... we're going to be late for work ..." I say teasingly as I pull him against me more firmly and slide my hands down his chest as I straddle him.
"All I need is 15 minutes, baby." He whispers as he grips my thighs.
I look over at the clock just beside our heads and take note of the time.
"You have 10." I say suggestively and there is a wild edge to the laughter that escapes him.
"I better get to work then." he says roughly as he flips me onto my back and I let out a gasp of delight before he crashes his lips to mine kissing me hotly, devouring me.
This man is going to be the death of me is the last coherent thought I can form before I lose myself under him.
And what I learn on this particular Tuesday morning is that Jace Wayland works very well under pressure and prides himself on meeting every deadline he is set.
Every last one.
So I feel like this might be my last update on this story for a while ... I'm really sorry to those of you are enjoying it but I think obviously having a story related to Christmas is putting people off reading it ... although it's just the time of year really.
I think if I pick it up in winter again it might help.
Also thanks for all of you who are following 'Flashback' and 'Who's Boss' because the amount of reader interaction I have had on those have really pushed me keep writing the next chapters. They're not ready yet but for a story I haven't updated in years and one that I'm currently struggling with it really really helped.
I'm not saying it is solely reviews which get me to write my stories but they certainly help keep me focused and help me finalise my ideas.
But back to this story ... I have the next chapter which involves Clary moving in and a few more chapters which I'm not sure about where in the timeline they fit. So until I decide that this is on hold and I'm hoping that by pushing this story back to winter it will give me time to work out how I want it to work.
As in which bits lead us up to the Christmas chapter and which bits fall into the post Christmas epilogues which will be a few.
Its not a definite thing but as I am working on so many stories at the moment some have to take a back seat.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter and have a read of my other stories too.
And as always drop a review and let me know what you think.
Also if you read any of my other stories let me know which one you would like an update on next.
Much love
