Shizuo turned the shower to the coldest possible setting and tried to breathe evenly. This was too much for him. He should've left, but then… Izaya would be alone and he was injured… No. He couldn't've left. There was no way.
He let out a deep breath and looked around for soap. He sniffed the pink block suspiciously. It smelled like roses. He sniffed another one, green. Mint. He sniffed yet another. It smelled less flowery and effeminate, kind of a mix of rosemary and something else. He decided to use it.
As he lathered himself he almost laughed. He was in Izaya's apartment, using his shower after having stayed the night (and woken up holding the guy's hand). It was completely surreal and if anyone had suggested it to him a week ago, their head would probably become acquainted with a concrete wall soon after they had said it – and Shizuo would have been the enthusiastic wingman.
The water had become less pleasantly cold after a while and he heard a knock on the door.
"Are you alive in there, Shizu-chan?" asked Izaya curiously. "You're not trying to drown yourself in there, are you?"
"Uh, no! I'll be right out!" he called, rinsing himself off and turning off the water. "Annoying fleabag." He added, unconvincingly.
Izaya gave a short laugh. Shizuo stepped out of the shower and began to dry himself off with the spare towel. Then he froze, his gaze alighting on the counter. He had been so distracted that he had forgotten to check whether Izaya actually had left clean clothes on the counter. He hadn't. He looked everywhere, trying not to ransack the bathroom too much. No clothes. Why would Izaya have clothes in his arch-nemesis's size laying around, anyway? Shizuo clearly hadn't bothered to ask himself that question. He had simply expected that somehow Izaya would. Who knows what kind of stuff this guy had, right?
Apparently – not clothes for Shizuo.
Shizuo's calm, slightly amused mood completely dissipated. "Izaya-ku-un!" he growled, trying not to put his fist through the wall. He wrapped the bath towel around his waist and cautiously cracked open the door, only to see Izaya hiding a grin while perched on the arm of his couch, wearing a smirk, a towel and nothing else. "Where the fuck are 'the clothes on the counter', huh, Izaya-kun?!" he snarled.
Izaya smiled. "I lied!" he said happily.
This was a bit too much for Shizuo. Unwittingly, his hands tightened on the door and when he let go, his fingerprints were deeply impressed in the door's surface. "Izaya! What the fuck?!" he yelled.
"Hm…" Izaya's smile did not disappear. "At least I left you a towel, right?" he laughed. "A-re? You seem to be annoyed, Shizu-chan."
Shizuo tried really hard not to pull Izaya's bathroom door off its' hinges. "No shit, fleabag!"
"Well, now we're even, aren't we? Both wearing towels!" Izaya paced over to the kitchen and helped himself to some bacon. "I put your bartender outfit in the laundry, by the way."
"I'm bloody cold!" Shizuo snarled, still not coming out from behind the door.
"Too-oo ba-ad!" sang Izaya.
Shizuo cautiously stepped out from behind the door and sat down heavily on the couch, avoiding Izaya's gaze. "…Fucking annoying." He muttered.
"Goodness!" exclaimed Izaya, looking at Shizuo with appreciation. "What a body, Shizu-chan!"
He almost jumped off the couch at that. "The hell's wrong with you?!" he yelled.
"Am I making you flustered?"
"H-hell no!" Shizuo exclaimed.
Izaya stepped closer. "And oh!" he said, leaning in, looking closely at Shizuo's chest. Shizuo tried really hard not to cross his arms over his chest like a girl and start throwing things. "That's the scar I gave you on our first meeting!" he said happily.
"Yeah!" Shizuo muttered. "'Cause you decided to fucking slash me. Ruined a good uniform shirt, too."
Sitting next to Shizuo on the couch, uncomfortably close, Izaya smiled. "Aren't you glad you have something to remember me by?"
"…No."
"Aww, such a tsun-tsun!" pouted Izaya.
Shizuo blinked. "…The fuck's a tsun-tsun?"
"Not telling!" sang Izaya.
"…Not like I care anyway."
Izaya laughed. "Point proven." He said under his breath.
Shizuo edged away. "The hell's with your soap, huh?" he asked. "Smells like flowers and shit! You're a man!"
"A man who likes to smell nice."
"Roses?!"
"You do notice that there was another one – and you used it."
"One out of three. And I'm not too happy about it." Shizuo's nose twitched. "I smell like flea."
"Yep!" Izaya grinned. "I'm marking my territory with my scent." He added.
"WhaT THE FUck?!" Shizuo jumped up.
Izaya stretched out. "You heard me." He said.
Shizuo's face flamed and he began to eat cold bacon, not looking at Izaya. The fork warped in his hand as he clutched it, but he didn't notice. Why was the goddamn flea making this so goddamn hard for him. No pun intended
**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**
In Shinjuku's Animate store, Karisawa Erika looked over the top of the latest installation of 'Irregular at Magic High School – the Manga' and met Yumasaki Walker's eyes. "It's time." She said dramatically.
Walker blinked and put down his copy of 'A Certain Magical Index' light novel. "Time for what?" he frowned. "This better be good – I'm getting to the climax here."
With a long-suffering sigh, Erika closed her manga with a snap. "'There is only one truth'!" she exclaimed, pushing invisible glasses up and flinging out her arm, pointing into the distance.
He tilted his head to the side. "…'Detective Conan'?"
Erika sighed again. "You don't get it? It's time to start detectiving! About Iza-nyan and Shizu-Shizu's relationship!" she screeched.
Walker nodded slowly. "Oh." He paused. "I don't think 'detective' can be used as a verb." He said. Then a slow smile spread over his face. "…Let's go!"
The two paid for their manga and light novels, then tore out of the shop. Kadota stood leaning against the side of Togusa's van. "You guys done?" he asked.
Walker nodded. "Yup!"
As he and Erika piled their purchases into the trunk, he looked over his shoulder at Kadota. "We'll be going somewhere after this!" he called.
Erika pulled a pair of sunglasses and a plaid hat from her bag and put them on. "Take care of our stuff!" she called.
The two walked away down the sidewalk, leaving a confused Kadota and distracted Togusa (he was watching Hijiribe Ruri's newest music video and deaf to the world). Walker glanced at Erika. "Are you going for 'James Bond' look or 'Sherlock Holmes' look?" he asked, pointing at her strange getup.
"Both." She said and handed him another pair of sunglasses and a bowtie. After some deliberating, she gave him a fake mustache too. "Here you go."
Walker put the sunglasses on, put the bowtie on and looked at the mustache. "…This isn't really my thing." He said.
Erika shrugged and put the mustache on herself. "Now I'm Mouri Kogoro!" she said.
"And I'm Detective Takagi!"
"You look more like Doctor Airade without the curly hair."
"You mean the one that was Vermouth or the real one?"
"The real one!"
"I'd rather be Amuro."
The two continued to walk. Finally, Erika stopped, looking up at a tall apartment building. "This is where Iza-nyan lives." Erika said in a hoarse whisper.
Walker looked at her. "How do you know that?"
"I asked Mika-chan!" grinned Erika. "She knows everything. In fact…" Erika took out her phone. "She had some bugs planted there, maybe we can listen in on the… action." Erika sniffed, hoping that there was no blood leaking from her nose. Walker gave her a tissue just in case. Erika began the call (the profile picture for Harima Mika on Erika's phone was a picture of Gasai Yuno).
"Hi there, Seiji-kun!" said Erika cheerfully. "Can you give the phone to Mika-chan? …Hey, Mika-chan? …Mmhmm…! Yeah, sorry, I know you're *ahem* busy with Seiji-kun… …No, that's not why I'm calling." A smile slowly unfurled itself across Erika's round face. "…Can you send me the audio recordings of the bugs you have planted in Orihara Izaya's apartment? …You're sending them to me now? Audio and video? …Awesome, you're the best, Mika-nyan! Thanks! Have fun with Seiji-kun!"
Walker looked at Erika expectantly. "You get them?"
"Yep!" Erika quickly signed into her email. "Let's listen to the newest one." She said.
There was a crackling sound and the screen was black. Then slowly things came into focus. Erika fast-forwarded through several hours of Yagiri Namie and Orihara Izaya working on their respective computers, occasionally getting up to look through files (Namie) and texting with a maniacal grin (Izaya). Then Namie left and there was a knock at Izaya's door.
Erika paused. "…Is it Shizu-Shizu come to embrace our protagonist?" she asked in a deep narrator's voice. "Or is it an alien, come to kidnap Orihara Izaya?!"
Walker glared at her. "…Maybe if you pressed 'play' the answer would become clear." He said with annoyance.
They continued to watch. By the end of the recording, Erika was in a heap on the ground, her nose bleeding and walker crouching next to her, his jaw almost reaching the floor. "Damn you, Izaya…" the slightly metallic (bad quality audio) voice of Shizuo said. And on the tiny screen of Erika's phone, the granulated video showed Shizuo bending down to leave a kiss on Izaya's forehead.
Then the video ended. And Erika screamed. "DID YOU SEE THAT?! DID YOU FUCKING SEE THAT?! I WAS RIGHT! TAKE THAT YOU WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN THE TRUTH OF YAOI! BL WINS!" She reared up until she stood on her legs (a little shaky) with blood streaming from her nose, her eyes alight (with what could only be described as fujioshi fervor) and the phone clutched in her outstretched hand, she was strangely majestic.
Walker shook his head. "Photoshop? Really advanced hologram…? No, it can't be." he muttered. "No… It's real. All this time, it was real… Holy shit!" he whooped.
The two friends hugged (body-slammed and wrapped their arms tightly around) each other.
Then Erika grabbed Walker's hand and pulled him up the stairs. "I know which one is Izaya's!" she yelled.
"How? Did Mika-chan tell you?"
"No! On the recording, when Shizuo opened the door we could see the number. It may have been backwards but I saw it!"
"That's true Kudo Shinichi deduction right there!"
"If I'm Shinichi you can be Heiji!"
"But I'm not from Osaka!" panted Walker as they ran up the stairs. "And I like Sera more than Kazuha…!"
Erika was red-faced and panting too (otaku are not meant for running up many stories of steps) but the power of yaoi – the strength that pure, unadulterated (albeit fluffy) BL drove her onwards. "Doesn't matter! You can be Professor Agasa if it bothers you that much!"
"Never mind!" wheezed Walker. "I'll be Heiji."
**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**
Finally at the door, Erika and Walker looked at each other. "We're here…" panted Walker. "So what now?"
Erika tilted her head to the side. "Didn't really think of that…" she said.
The loud yell of, 'WHY THE HELL'RE YOU NOT WEARING CLOTHES?!' interrupted whatever Walker was about to say next. Erika's eyebrows advanced up her forehead. "…It's the seduction!" she hissed, pressing her ear against the door. "Come here!"
Walker pressed his ear to the door too, facing her. He got the tissues ready in case of a bloody nose on Erika's part. "…You're right about him being a tsundere." He whispered. "Like, a mega tsundere." Erika could not answer as she had half the box of tissues up her nose already. As Shizuo began yelling again, she almost moaned. Walker became slightly uncomfortable, but focused his attention on the conversation happening on the other side of the door.
The two exchanged glances and hissed hypotheses about what was going on on the other side of the door. Then Erika's phone went off. 'Master, you have a message.' The voice of the demon butler Sebastian said. Erika swore and dove for her phone, but it seemed as if no-one important (Izaya and Shizuo) had herd it.
She flipped it open and almost squealed. "Mika-chan's streaming the video surveillance directly to my phone!" she murmured excitedly.
With their ears still pressed to the door, they watched the events unfolding. Shizuo going into the shower, Izaya stretching out on the couch and doing something with his phone. An enraged Shizuo coming out of the shower. Flirting. Shizuo's status as a tsundere confirmed by Izaya. More ridiculous flirting. Shizuo eating bacon.
Walker grinned. "This is getting good."
**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**
Izaya watched Shizuo's broad back as he bent over the counter and wolfed down monster-sized portions of bacon. Well, he was a beast – Izaya had to remind himself. But recently… It didn't seem to be the case. Or he just didn't see Shizuo like this and had assumed. He mistook his own feelings just as Shizuo had – or maybe somehow Shizuo had projected his feelings of (Hate? Love?) onto him. That thought gave him pause.
If Shizuo kissed him, would he like it? Actually no, that wouldn't have anything to do with anything. He would like it, but that's not the point. The man was attractive but that was pure lust, not love.
In the background, the washing machine beeped, then went into dryer mode.
Okay. So Shizu-chan was now one of Izaya's beloved humans. That just made him interesting to watch, to poke and prod at, to manipulate and control and laugh at the end results whether they be good or bad. It didn't really do Shizuo justice. Was Shizuo more than human? No. Izaya's feelings were getting involved here. And anything that involved Izaya's feelings was serious. He needed to sort this out and quickly.
He was not a human. He was Orihara Izaya, info broker and god. He held humans in the palm of his hand. Love was something painfully human – something he could not afford to take up. For Christ's sake, Izaya made people fall in love, then used it against them. He knew how much love could hurt. He'd seen it. He'd caused it. And he had laughed.
Now he wasn't so sure he would've laughed. But that wasn't good. He needed to work things out. Either accept Shizuo as a 'human' and demote him to a plaything… Or keep Shizuo's status as a 'beast' and play his stupid little games of 'let's throw the vending machine at Izaya' and 'let's stab Izaya with this signpost' or in some cases; 'let's simply attack Izaya with no weapons'.
Then he paused. Oh, but Shizuo wouldn't be able to do that anymore. So accepting Shizuo as a 'beast' would mean… What would it mean? Would it mean that-
"Hey, fleabag?" a hand was waved in front of Izaya's face and he blinked.
"Yes?" he asked.
"You're spacing out." Shizuo said. Then he sighed. "…I need to smoke." Patted his pockets, realized he had none (still wearing a towel) and then swore. "You stole my sunglasses, what've you done with the tuff that was in my pockets?!" he growled.
Izaya sighed. "Oh, darling, your mood swings…" he sighed again, then an impish grin found its' way onto his lips. "You'll have to find it!" he sang. "Your house keys, your phone, your cigarettes and Tom-san's business card! Where could they be?"
"You bastard! That phone was a gift from Kasuka!"
"I didn't do anything to it." Izaya said calmly. "I just hid it." He smiled. "I'll give you a clue, protozoan, you'll need it."
Shizuo crossed his arms over his bare chest. "The hell is it?"
"It's where your sunglasses are!" smiled Izaya.
Shizuo sucked in air though his nostrils, a vein throbbing in the side of his head. "THE FUCK KINDA CLUE IS THAT?! I dunno where my sunglasses are!" he looked at Izaya then looked away. "I'd lift you by the front of your shirt to threaten you but, oh, wait." He paused for dramatic effect. "YOU DON'T FUCKING HAVE A SHIRT!"
Izaya sat down on the couch. "You can cheat…" he said. "I'll tell you where they are if you do something I tell you."
"Yeah? I'll do something irreparably stupid and then you'll laugh at me and end up not telling me where my stuff is." Shizuo said wryly. "I might be a 'protozoan' but I do know that much."
A smirk spread across Izaya's face. "…Good job, Shizu-chan." He said condescendingly. "You've upgraded from a protozoan to a cave-man. A huge leap." He got up. "You know, as reward, I think I'll go put some pants on, just for you."
As Shizuo rolled his eyes, Izaya ripped off his towel and threw it in Shizuo's face, all in one motion. Then he walked into his bedroom and took his time in putting on boxers, then socks, then pants, all very slowly.
He walked out to see Shizuo with a hand over his eyes, a redness around his face and the towel thrown in Izaya's direction. "You have clothes on?" asked Shizuo with a slightly choked voice.
Izaya caught the towel. "Hm. Do I? It depends." He said.
"Can I open my eyes or not?" asked Shizuo exasperatedly.
"You could, but then I won't be responsible for what you see. Or rather I will be."
"Are you decent?" growled Shizuo, getting annoyed (more annoyed than usual).
"Hm… It depends on your definition of 'decent'." Izaya said, holding a finger to his chin and tilting his head to the side.
"Are you fucking wearing clothes or not?!" snarled Shizuo.
"We-ell…" Izaya stretched. "Am I?"
The beeping of the washer/dryer machine interrupted them and Shizuo turned away from Izaya. He opened it and took his clothes out. His nose twitched. "Now even my clothes smell like flea." He said.
"I'm wearing pants." Izaya said, smirking. "Just so you know."
Shizuo rolled his eyes. "What's wrong with you…" he muttered.
Izaya smirked. "…A lot."
