THE NIGHTINGALE JOURNALS
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROB! I'm not sure, but I do believe gazing at your smile could bring about world peace. Srsly, one look, and there's no way you could be sad or disgruntled. You're lovely.
Things I own: A Twilight/New Moon board game I got for Mother's Day. They meant well.
Things I don't own: Anything Twilight. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyers.
Thanks to my beta, Trinity/TFX, who is a superb human being.
CHAPTER EIGHT: ROLLING ON THE RIVER
"It's nothing more than dental floss, Alice! I can't possibly wear that!"
"Wait a minute… you do want Cullen, right?"
"Of course. More than I've ever wanted anything in my life."
"All right then. The only possible conclusion to reach is that you must wear this, Bella. He won't be able to keep his eyes—or his hands—off of you."
"Are you sure?"
She doesn't even answer me—she just gives me the stink eye and hands me the dental floss, AKA the bikini.
I grab a couple of petals from my lingerie drawer. Before I stick them on, I decide to ask Alice about them.
"Do you think these will stay attached if I'm in the water all day?"
"What the hell are you putting on petals for?"
"Well, duh, to cover up my piercings!"
"And you want to do that because…?" she pauses for dramatic effect.
"Look, Alice, I'm going to be wearing dental floss all day—I'm not going to shove my nipple piercing in his face, too."
"Why not?"
"It's not particularly something I want everyone to know I have."
Alice shakes her head in dismay. "Oh Bella, for someone who is such a natural beauty, you just don't get it, do you? It's all the nurses plus Cullen today, right?"
"Yes," I hesitate.
"Do you care if the other nurses know you are pierced?"
"Hell no, it's none of their business."
"Right. And Cullen is going to jizz in his pants over them. So again, why do you want to cover them up?"
"I'm trying to be as modest as one can be while sporting dental floss."
"Exactly! In other words, lose the petals. He'll go cross-eyed the minute he sees your piercings, I promise."
"I don't know…"
Alice looks at me with her best Godfather impersonation. "Isabella Marie Swan, ditch the petals."
"Okay, okay, it just feels wrong."
"Not another word!"
I grumble as I don the dental floss, and then pull on my cover up. Even with that on, I feel like I'm showing off way too much skin. I don't want to feel awkward all day, but Alice is insistent, and it's easier for me to put up with my awkwardness than it is to put up with a steamed Alice for an entire day.
I slip Edward's gift into my bag along with all my supplies for the trip and get ready to head out the door. Alice and Jasper are having a quiet conversation about what to pack when I approach them.
"Okay, then, I'm all set. Remember not to come down for at least ten minutes so I have time to give him his gift, all right?"
Alice giggles lightly, and Jasper flashes me his winning grin. "I wish I could see his face as he opens it, but I understand that you want to do that alone. See you in a few, Bells. Good luck!"
I'm a few minutes early, so I pull out my iPod to keep my mind occupied on anything besides how little I am wearing. I might as well be naked, seriously. I need something loud to drown out the noise banging around inside of my brain. My Clash playlist ought to do the trick.
I'm jamming out with Joe Strummer and the strains of Clash City Rockers when I see the Green-Eyed Monster himself pull up in front of me. He is so beautiful, and I'm so excited to spend the entire day with him, that I beam out what has to be a ridiculously huge smile. I simply cannot help myself, but it unnerves me all the same.
As the car comes to a stop, I rush over and open the passenger side door, and quickly complain about needing coffee. He returns my smile, and mentions that we can't go anywhere without Alice and Jasper. I feign innocence, of course, because I want a few minutes alone with him to give him his gift. I reach into my bag and present it to him, explaining why it is important for him to open by himself.
When he sees the package of boxer briefs in front of him, his face goes blank. I'm not surprised it isn't what he expected. I take a minute to explain the significance, and he has the gumption to act all innocent, like he only goes commando once in a blue moon. I shake my head in mock disgust when he mentions that he sometimes goes commando at work. I set that shit straight in a heartbeat.
Alice and Jasper walk through the front doors with perfect timing, and we're shortly on our way to Starbucks, haven of caffeinoholics worldwide. Red happens to be on this morning, so he starts one of my standard drinks; I ask him to add in an Edward, too. He teases me about my fictional boyfriend, something he does every time he makes our drinks. I feel my face flush, but before I can say anything, Edward cuts in, standing so close to me that our shoulders touch.
"It just so happens that I am neither fictional nor absent," I hear his velvety voice reply, as he wraps his arm around my waist.
I have butterflies in my stomach and feel my heart race as he pulls me close to him. His freshly showered scent wafts over me, one that is purely, uniquely Edward. I could smell it fifty years from now, and it would still remind me of him, it is that distinct and potent.
He continues, looking Red straight in the eyes. "Yes, I'm definitely very real."
I've never seen Red so subdued. Then again, if I didn't know any better, I would say that Edward is acting a tad territorial, which surprises the hell out of me. It isn't like we're together or anything. Still, his willingness to be my knight in shining armor at a moment's notice is certainly very appealing. In fact, it's downright hot.
He leans over to whisper in my ear, and the sensation of his breath sends shivers down my spine. "What is an Edward, if I may ask?"
I answer his question, but he doesn't move his mouth away from my ear. When he murmurs that there are many ways in which he could be useful to me, it goes straight to my girlie bits, and I hear my own breath hitch. When I look up into his eyes moments later, you can tell he is full of smug satisfaction. Normally, if I guy reacted that way to me, I would kick him in the nuts, but for some reason, Edward doesn't provoke any such type of response. He totally deserves to be smug, because I'll be damned, his game is good. Who am I to argue with him?
During the drive, we all take animatedly and take a number of potty stops along the way. Naturally, the guys don't have to whiz nearly as often as we do. We threaten to stick Foley catheters in them if they don't shut it. After that, they were surprisingly moot on the subject. It just goes to show you, threaten a man's peen, and they take you seriously.
During the lulls in conversation, I try to subtly check Edward out. He's so cute when he concentrates, and it's hard to keep my eyes off of him. I get to watch his hands in motion, and it makes me realize how underappreciated hands are, in general. Edward's hands should have an international prayer of thanksgiving attached to them, they are that perfect. Yes, ladies of the world, we should all be grateful that the search for perfect pair of hands is complete—they belong to Edward A. Cullen, M.D.
God, what he can do with those fingers! Those hands are so talented, too.
I blush at the thought of Edward's hands and fingers and where I'd like them to be. I notice he catches me staring at them and I feel hideously awkward. Jesus, he catches me ogling the goods on a daily basis, and it's fricking embarrassing. I can't believe he never calls me on it, but I'm grateful all the same.
When we finally arrive at our destination, I'm disappointed that my front row view of Edward is officially gone. Most of the other nurses are already waiting for us. I grimace when I see Jessica and Lauren gossiping nearby. While it would be rude not to include everyone on the trip invitation, I wished more than once that we could somehow keep those two from finding out. Their mean girl antics are bad enough in the work environment; ply them both with alcohol, however, and their meanness gets ratcheted up ten notches. I just know they're both going to hang all over Edward, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach.
"Swan, you all right?" Edward has a look of genuine concern on his face; sometimes, I'm such an open book it isn't funny.
"Yeah, I'm fine. No worries, doctor," I try to reassure him.
The Thompson Twins waste no time sidling up to Edward.
Fuckers. He's MINE.
We're subjected to Jessica's screech first—she is clearly already three sheets to the wind. "EDWARD! I didn't know you were going to be here! You should totally hook up with our inner tubes! We have the best booze!" She giggles at her own inane hilarity.
"What's wrong with your eyes, Bella? Did you get some dust in them or something? You should really do something about that, you know. It can destroy your vision."
No, Lauren, I do not have any dust in my eyes. It's called the stink eye, and you're getting it. From me. So back off.
"Oh, my vision is completely fine, thank you. And you know what, Lauren? I'm a nurse, too, so I know all about how the body works. You might be surprised to learn that you don't hold a monopoly on that kind of information." I look her straight in the eyes, to let her know she doesn't intimidate me in the slightest.
She just grimaces and gives me a little "Hmm" in reply.
"Dr. Cullen, you should come sit by us on the bus. We have a great version of coffee to go." Lauren holds her to go cup up to Edward's nose and he grimaces. It's straight booze.
"Dr. Cullen"? Really? Could you be more obvious, Stanley?
"I hope you didn't bring that in the car with you. I think I'll just stick to what we brought with us. Oh, and I'm already partnered up for the trip."
Lauren wastes no time giving me an incredulous look; she really can't believe Cullen is hanging with me instead of her. As proud and happy as I am to be partnered with Edward for the day, nothing could possibly give me more satisfaction than one-upping Lauren Mallory. It's like instant revenge, just being able to stand next to him while she pouts.
We head over to wait for the bus together, with Edward and Jasper toting our cooler. The tubing rental company has tubes available for coolers, so you can easily tote them along on the ride. It's essentially an afternoon of lazy tubing, drunkenness, and fun. The added bonus? I'm going to be physically attached to Dr. Edward Cullen all afternoon. Well, at least my inner tube will be, that is.
As we await the bus, I pull a baseball hat out of my bag. It says, in bold letters, This Guy Sure Knows How to Party, and has a couple of liquor bottles on it, inscribed with XXX. It's tacky, hokey, and a memento of many past bouts of drunkenness.
I can see Edward reading the wording, and let him finish before I explain it.
"Dr. Cullen, this is the world famous PICU Party Hat. Whenever we meet up for drinks, weddings, outings, or staff parties, the hat comes with us. It is passed along from one person to the next, depending upon who is the most drunk or making the biggest fool of themselves. I will bet good money that, at some point today, this hat will grace your head."
Jasper chimes in. "Oh hell yes, Cullen wears that hat, hands down. It is my personal mission to get it on him as soon as possible!"
Edward's mouth is agape, but we don't leave it there.
"That's just because you're tired of being the one who always wears it, Jazz," I say, placing it proudly on top of his head.
"Whitlock, you let these petite women get the best of you in a drinking match? What kind of man are you?" Edward adds, laughing heartily. He's even more beautiful when he laughs.
I giggle out loud. "He's a murse, Edward! He's man enough. Really!"
"Dude, these women are drinking demons from hell! Seriously! Don't say I didn't warn you!"
Edward is laughing and shaking his head all the while. "You can't convince me! They're not capable of it. No way."
Alice raises her eyebrow. "You're really going to regret saying that, Cullen. I may be small, but I've got a big brain and an even bigger tolerance for alcohol. You really have been warned. Twice now. We ICU nurses are hard core." She pokes on his chest for emphasis.
"Okay, so what is the bet, short run?"
"Hey! You're only getting away with saying that because you're with Bella. Remember, I'm the perfect height to take out a testicle or two!"
Edward moves to cover his goods, but keeps laughing. "Okay, I get it. How about loser pays for the hotel room tonight?"
"Perfect!"
"I hope you have plenty of cash with you, Chiquita!" Edward taunts.
"Oh, I'm not the one who needs to worry, believe me."
The bus finally pulls up, and we all pile in. Lauren and Jessica split up, trying to lure Edward to sit by one of them. He walks straight past them and pulls me into a seat with him. For the second time today, and within the span of merely one hour, revenge tastes so sweet.
Squeezed next to Edward in an old school bus seat is certainly my idea of heaven. The seats are so small that our outer legs touch during the entire ride, as do our sides and arms. The effect is so charged, I can feel my body erupt in goosebumps. My breath hitches for the second time today, and I look over at Edward, who is looking directly at me. His gaze is so intense, I have to avert my eyes at once; I feel like he just stripped off my clothes with his eyes. I feel naked and exposed, and I love it. He reacts with a subtle, sly grin, accompanied by the crimples.
Fuck! Those crimples just kill me. Those crimples could coerce me into doing nefarious things, of this I am certain.
I lean over and whisper into his ear, "You know, I should have them charge you with assault with a deadly weapon."
His face instantly turns into a mask of confusion. "What do you mean by that?"
Now it's my turn to put on the sly grin. "Crimples. You used the Crimple Effect on me Cullen, and it's about time you paid the price for your debauched ways."
He laughs heartily with a sunny smile on his face, and all is well in my world. That smile could cheer anyone up.
This is going to be the best day ever, I can already feel it.
The bus pulls to a stop, and we all rifle out. Before I do anything else, I need to get my sunscreen on. My skin is so fair, I burn to a crisp readily. I turn around to ask Alice, but she and Jasper are apparently busy procuring inner tubes for us. I whip off my cover up and put it into my waterproof bag, then grab the sunscreen.
I hold out the can to him, asking for assistance. "Edward, could you please spray this on for me? I burn like no one's business if I forget it."
He looks as though he's going cross-eyed, standing still as if he is a deer caught in the headlights.
I wave my hands in front of his face to get his attention. "Edward? Did you hear me?"
He shakes his head abruptly, then answers me. "Yes, sunscreen, right. I can do that."
I giggle at his display; I didn't know he could be such a goofball. To me, goofball is good, however. It helps cut down some of my anxiety I'm experiencing, standing in front of him wearing nothing more than dental floss.
I lift my hair out of the way, putting it into an impromptu ponytail, while Edward sprays my backside. He squats down when he gets to my legs, and I can feel his breath on my thighs. A small moan escapes from my throat unexpectedly, before I am even aware of its presence. Edward stops spraying and simply asks if I'm all right. I feign innocence and pretend nothing happened.
"Okay, you can turn around."
His gaze goes straight to my tits, and I notice his eyes get a little wider, as if in surprise.
Shit, he noticed the nipples. Shit, shit, shit!
Then I notice that he is genuinely checking my rack out. I'm all astonishment, but the look on his face changes from utter surprise to, if I am not mistaken, lust.
Dr. Edward Cullen, are you a naughty boy? I think you are!
He swallows hard, then asks me to hold out my arms. His eyes move quickly away from my boobs and focus on the rest of my body.
I feel like such a skank. Goddamn dental floss.
When the sunscreen application is complete, he hands me back the can and I toss it into my bag. I note that Jasper and Alice are already half way down to the river, so I do something impulsive. To speed him along, I slap Cullen in the ass and scream at him to haul ass, then take off running down the hill. Edward is hot on my tail, and we both manage to jump into the river at the same moment. Our momentum sends a huge wave into the air, and it lands directly over Jessica and Lauren. They screech at the top of their lungs, and turn to see what caused such a ruckus.
Lauren focuses on me, squinting her eyes. "Fuck you, Swan! Knock it off!" Acting like the 13 year old girl she is, she splashes us back. I roll my eyes at her.
Edward looks at me, aghast, then starts giggling. It's so funny to hear a grown man giggle, that I start giggling too, and neither one of us can stop. Our laughter builds to a full, rolling boil, and we run through the water to catch Jasper and Alice. We have a quad of inner tubes surrounding our cooler tube, perfectly poised for a sunny afternoon on the river.
"Doctor, I do declare—I feel a headache coming on something terrible! I wonder if a cool beverage may be of some help." I do my best impersonation of Scarlet O'Hara, which is to say it is abysmally bad.
"How about I give you a beer and you drop that lameass accent for the rest of the day?"
"Keep me plied with liquor and you have yourself a deal, Party Man."
"Party Man? What?"
"Oh, you'll be wearing the Party Hat. Trust me."
He just gives me a sly grin, then takes a swig of his beer. He hasn't noticed that I'm still empty handed.
"Um, Edward?" I wiggle my fingers around, implying that they need to be filled.
"Oh, right. Sorry. What's your poison?"
"Woodpecker Cider, please."
"I wondered whose that was. Savvy choice, Swan," he says, handing it over to me.
"Why thank you, dear doctor," I move to clink our bottles together.
Edward and I are positioned in our inner tubes so that are feet are hanging over the front, and our arms almost touch. I can still smell him, laced with beer, and I close my eyes for a minute to relish the moment. He nudges my arm to make me open my eyes.
"What?"
"I didn't think I was that boring. We haven't been in the tubes for more than ten minutes, and already I put you to sleep?"
"Noooo, Cullen, I was just savoring the moment. The smell of the beer, the sun on my face, pleasant company. It's perfect."
"Oh, by pleasant company, I assume you're referring to Stanley and Mallory?"
"Right. Exactly," I snort.
"Swan, you've only started your beer and already with the snorting?"
To pretend I'm all intimidating, I use my fingers to form a v shape, and point them at my eyes, then at Edward's eyes, indicating that I have my eyes on him.
"I'm petrified of you! Postively petrified!"
"Did you or did you not hear my threat about unsterile Foley catheter placement earlier, Cullen? It is not wise to toy with an ICU nurse, you know!"
I swig down the last of my cider. "Oh barkeep! I need a refill!"
Edward bows his head to me, indicating that he will fulfill my every request. "At your service, ma'am," handing me another bottle. "Wanna play twenty questions?"
"Uh, sure."
"I'll warn you, nothing is off the table, though."
"I understand. I have no deep, dark secrets. Except that I keep a guy in a gimp suit locked in a trunk in my garage, but that doesn't count, does it?" I snort again.
"Oh, no, nothing tame like that is a problem," he says, completely earnest. "So, why did you want to become a nurse?"
"I told you, because of my mom's bout with cancer."
"But you're so smart, Bella. You could have been a doctor, an oncologist, anything."
"What exactly are you implying here? That nurses aren't smart?" I cannot believe he said that in front of a group of nurses.
"No, god no, that's not what I meant! It's just that you're driven, determined, analytic, and you have dynamite assessment skills. You would have been a top notch doctor."
"Instead, I'm a top notch nurse. It isn't like a step down, you know. Honestly, it never appealed to me nor occurred to me to be a doc. Throughout my mom's entire hospitalization, it was the nurses who were always there. They were the ones who knew her best, who provided the continuity of care, who fought on her behalf with the docs. We rarely saw or spoke to the doctors. To be honest, you couldn't pay me to be a doctor. I have the best of all possible worlds. Trust me, you have to be smart to be a nurse, too. I'll try not to hold that comment against you."
"Point taken. Sorry if I offended you."
"No worries. I'll always put you in your place. Or cut off your balls. One of the two."
"For the sake of any future Cullen progeny, I ask that 'put in your place' always be option one."
"That can be arranged, Cullen. If you behave yourself otherwise."
"Duly noted. Your question, Swan."
"Why did you choose to go into exactly the same field as your dad? You could have done anything, and made your life so much easier, you know?"
"Oh, believe me, I know. I simply admire the man so much; he's my hero. He's brilliant, and charming, and funny. He's well respected by his peers, he's a great teacher, and a great researcher. I wanted to do him proud, I guess."
"I have no doubt that he's proud of you, Edward. One look at his face when he was introducing you as the new Fellow made that perfectly clear."
"Really? I guess I don't see that as much. I mean, I know he's proud, we just don't talk about it a lot, you know?"
"Yeah, I hear you. My dad is less of a conversationalist than I am, so our phone calls are remarkably brief. The loudest thing at the dinner table is the forks scratching on the plates!"
"I don't get it."
"What?"
"I always have such an easy time talking to you. It seems like we never run out of things to say."
"Ah. You see, that's because you are a conversationalist. You make it easy."
"No, I always attributed the ease to you. You seem to have a way with people; you make them calm down. Especially like when we're in the middle of a code. You're always calm, cool, and collected."
"It's a learned behavior, Edward. I can assure you, if you were to take my vitals during a code, you could tell my adrenaline was pumping."
"It's your turn."
Edward's eyes are locked on my boobs.
"Edward? It's your turn."
"Why did you pierce your nipples?"
"You honestly want to know that?"
"Well, yes, I do. I've never seen pierced nipples before."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. Seriously."
"Well then, maybe I'll have to show them to you sometime."
I see Edward swallow hard. "Swan, you can't joke about stuff like that with me. You just can't."
I lean over the side of my inner tube, putting my chin in my palms, only inches from his face. The action squishes my boobs together. "What makes you think I'm joking?"
"Because you just said you'd show me your tits."
"Mmmhmm. I did. I meant it."
I can tell he's trying to be sneaky about it, but I totally catch him adjusting himself. "Why, exactly, would you do that?"
"Cullen, it's just a pair of tits. It's not like we're going to dry hump each other afterwards."
"Well, it sounds an awful lot like you're asking me to demonstrate one of the many ways in which I am not gay."
Now it's my turn to swallow hard. "So, should I show you, then you could show me how you're not gay?"
"That's exactly what I was thinking."
I catch myself whimpering, and bite my lower lip. "I think I need a refill, first."
He reaches over to rub his thumb over my lip. "It fucking kills me when you do that to your lip. Do you even have a clue how sexy you are? If you do, then biting your lip in that way is torture, you know. Pure, mean, unadulterated torture."
Edward leans over to grab more beer, when he suddenly tumbles out of his tube and into the river. Surprised, I scream, which captures Jasper and Alice's attention. Jasper starts to laugh, grabs the Party Hat, and swims over to Edward. Giving him a hand, he pulls him up out of the water and slaps the hat onto his head.
"Congratulations, Doc! You're the new Party Man!"
Edward is suddenly all crimples and laughter, and we all high five him when he returns to the tubes.
"Cullen, I think I need to cut you off!" I giggle.
He looks at me with that same lusty gaze from before. "Yeah? Well, I need to know how many more you need before that bikini top comes off." I see his eyes drift down to my breasts.
I can feel my face flush, even in the warm sunlight. Edward reaches over and strokes my cheek. I allow my face to rest in his hand, and it feels so right. As if his hand was always meant to be there. I close my eyes to take in the sensation.
What happens next is completely unexpected.
I feel a pair of warm, soft lips touch my own, and my eyes instantly pop open. Edward Cullen, M.D., is fucking kissing me! Kissing me! He puts his other hand on my cheek, so my face is now cradled between his beautiful hands.
I've admitted this before—I'm a very oral person. I love to kiss. Kissing is my own personal brand of Kryptonite. This kiss, however, is no ordinary kiss. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced before.
To say that Edward Cullen is a superb kisser is a joke. It's like blasphemy. I mean, this man has genuine skillz. His tongue is long and talented. I look forward to a time when other parts of my anatomy can be graced by its presence.
Perhaps it is the pent up energy and emotion that makes this kiss so extraordinary. There's so much behind it, it's like we're having a fucking conversation via this kiss. My head feels hazy, but I'm not sure if it is the alcohol, the kiss, or a combination of both. This kiss owns me. It consumes me. It's everything. All I know is that I'm in this moment, with Edward, choosing to savor every last little bit of it. If I could do nothing more than kiss him until the second I die, I'd be perfectly content with a life well lived.
He pulls my bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling on it, and I moan a little louder than I mean to. I lace my fingers into his hair, and pull him towards me more forcefully. I hear myself moan aloud again, and start to get embarrassed. Then it dawns on me—I didn't moan. Neither did Edward, unless he suddenly became a soprano.
Lauren's scream breaks through my thoughts.
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Jessica passed out!"
Fuck. There goes my kiss.
