A/N: Gods, this has taken me an inordinately long time to write. Between getting to grips with the subtle science and exact art of Y!M (technology hates me) and Rping incessantly, I haven't had much time. Also, I think this chapter was possibly the most difficult to…balance, I suppose. Neal has the capacity to angst dramatically but it would be pretty OOC for Kel to do the same. No song this time either - there wasn't anything suitable.

Anyway, my thanks for reviewing the last chapter - it was a lot of fun to write, though I regret that there probably won't be any others that are quite as angsty in this story.

Cobweb - *laughs manically* now there's encouragement for me! Seriously though, I was most pleased with the last chapter - angst comes more easily than romance.

Christelle - Thank you! I do tend to be a bit liberal with the punctuation. Sentence lacking something? Throw in a few commas for effect! Obviously, some are mistakes because I don't have a beta and after reading over the same chapter for the ninth time, you can understand how I miss things.

Stacey - *snickers* sorry, I was just teasing. I wanted to see what your reaction would be. About the whole IM thing…don't they have anything better to do? *rolls eyes* Glad I'm not a celebrity!

Incidentally, I have heard the song, though I couldn't use it in this chapter (for…er…obvious reasons) and no, no love triangles. I'll sort Dom out in due course. Probably after Cleon gets what's coming to him *cackles evilly*

Gina - Of course he would! Neal's the man! *giggles* sorry... Anyway, I don't think he was really in his right mind at that point - driven insane by grief, perhaps?

A Fool's Masquerade

The blade swung in vicious arcs - block, slash, riposte, stab, block - in rhythm with the rain hitting the surface of the practice court. Wet strands of brown hair were plastered to Kel's forehead, and the icy downpour was making her hands slip on the hilt of her sword. Why does he always have to make things more complicated? She asked for what must have been the thousandth time that morning, receiving no more answer than she had for the first.

Frustrated, Kel increased the pace of her exercise until she could no longer judge the movement of her own blade. It was dangerous, she knew, but the renewed vigour was more than welcome.

"Kel!" she longed to run from that voice, the deep baritone that had addressed her by so many flowery names over the years, the voice that she could have fallen in love with if only he had let her.

But she didn't run from him. Kel would never run again, not since that first sickening feeling guilt when she left Merric to the mercy of Joren and company. Instead, she carried on as if she hadn't heard - pushing her body to the very limits of endurance, revelling in the sound of the sword whistling through unresisting air.

"Kel, stop! You'll hurt yourself!" panted Cleon, not daring to come within range. Why do you care? She wondered angrily, keeping her eyes fixed straight ahead as if she looked right through him.

Finally, impatience seemed to get the better of the knight and he strode forwards, bellowing. "For Mithros' sake, Kel!" the fear was evident in his eyes, and it was this silent appeal, more than any, that made Kel end her routine with a flourish, burying the sword point down in the ground between them.

Hazel eyes met grey and she waited, determined that Cleon would be the first to break their silence. He scuffed the ground with the toe of his boot, clearly uncomfortable. With good reason, Kel thought, folding her arms. Now that she had stopped moving, the cold was beginning to take effect, chilling her even through the thick quilting of her jerkin.

"Are you…are you well?" Cleon asked at long last, not even looking at her, eyes locked on the ground at his feet.

The temptation was too great to resist, and Kel knew afterwards that far too much time had been spent with Neal recently. "Of course. One of my best friends has been murdered, the other is falling apart and I'm practicing my fencing in a rainstorm. Life is wonderful, truly it is, Cleon."

He made a sharp movement, as if to reach out to Kel, but changed his mind and buried both hands in the pockets of his breeches. It was better that way. "Will you walk with me?"

Kel looked at him for a long moment before nodding resignedly, picking up her discarded sword and following the knight out of the practice courts.

There was an atmosphere of tense expectation about Cleon, like he was waiting for her to break down into hysterical tears at any moment. Kel rolled her eyes at his back as he walked ahead, leading the way to the gardens. If, after all these years, he knew as little as that about her, it was just as well that he was marrying Ermelian.

"Whatever this is about, please just say it," she sighed, catching up with Cleon, made wary by his uncommon quiet. It was rare that the redhead was ever lost for words.

When he turned abruptly, Kel nearly ran into him. He looked almost…scared of the thought he was about to give voice to. Kel frowned. That wasn't like Cleon either.

"Kel, I don't want you take this question the wrong way, I mean, I'm not trying to pry…" his cheeks were slowly turning red as he blundered his way through the sentence. Out of pity and embarrassment for her friend, Kel prompted him kindly.

"I won't be offended. Just tell me,"

"AreyouinlovewithNeal?" she blinked as the words came out in a rush, mentally sorting through the confusion.

"Am I in love with…?" Kel's eyes widened. "What? No! I mean, he's my best friend," she said it as if that mere fact negated the possibility of…that.

"Exactly," Cleon sighed heavily and shifted his gaze to a more neutral point - somewhere a few inches above Kel's head. "You won't let him come too close in case that perfect mask slips. What kind of friend acts like that?"

Kel stared at him in mute amazement. How did he know? How could Cleon of all people read her like a book? Was she really that obvious?

"If it's any consolation, he'll know well enough not to hurt you like I did," Kel narrowed her eyes at this presumption.

"What makes you think you hurt me? I knew from the start that you were betrothed."

Cleon smiled sadly, his glance revealing the pity he held for her, angering Kel. She didn't want his pity! "Neal didn't beat seven kinds of hell out of me for nothing, Kel. I'm sorry you know, I didn't want to write that letter in the first place." his eyes widened and took a step back, seeming to think that he had said too much.

"Cleon?"

"I…well, I mean…" he took a deep, steadying breath and met her gaze. "Kel, none of it was true. I wrote it because I thought that if I could convince you I was in love with her, it might make me believe it more." Cleon hung his head. "It didn't quite work out that way - I couldn't stop thinking about how much I loved you, and when I got back and found you and Neal…gods, Kel, I thought my world was ending!"

She shook her head wordlessly. Had he told her this only a few days previously, she would have been ecstatic, but now all Kel could think was that, unwittingly, she had lied to Ermelian. "There was - is - nothing going on, Cleon. I had injuries from a raid and I didn't want to go to a healer." Kel answered finally, swallowing nervously under his intense grey stare.

Shrugging, he replied quietly "Even if there was, it wouldn't my business. It's not like we're together anymore." the defeat in his voice made her heart ache for him.

"Ermelian isn't so bad. I spoke to her - two nights ago," she looked up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. Cleon raised his eyebrows and gestured for her to continue. "She wants you to be proud of her. Cleon, don't you think you should try and make the best of this?"

"How can I? How can I do what is expected of me if all I can think about is you?" He asked angrily, taking a few steps towards her, but Kel moved away.

"Don't do this." she warned, backing up to the wall that surrounded the Queen's Garden. "Ermelian is beautiful and kind - it's more than many in your position can say about their betrothed."

"But she's not you. Couldn't we just…?" he pleaded hopefully, clearly not having thought about the implications of his unspoken question.

Kel went very white at the suggestion and her tone became icy. "Because we're friends, I'm going to forget that you ever said anything." pushing past him, she strode out of the gate and nearly ran down the path. At any moment, she expected to hear her name called and footsteps behind her, but they never came. Kel wasn't sure whether she was relieved about that or not - for one thing, she didn't like being at odds with any of her friends, and for another, she wanted to know from Cleon that what he'd almost asked her had been a poorly phrased, but perfectly innocent question. Surely he couldn't think that she'd agree to be his mistress?

Questions and accusations swimming around her mind, Kel broke into a sprint, lifting her face to the grey sky. The clouds roiled as if in divine anger, shooting down bolts of white lightning to smite the earth. It was as if even the gods mourned for Yuki - choosing to show their sorrow through the deadly beauty of nature. Kel took one last long glance at the storm before disappearing into the palace building.

Where it had been bitterly cold outside, the indoors was uncommonly warm. Fires must have been lit in every room to hold the chill of winter at bay. Kel jogged through the maze of corridors, attracting many strange looks for her drenched appearance, and finally reached her room where Lalasa sat sewing in the window. "My lady!" she gasped, rising from her seat and putting aside her embroidery. "Where have you been?"

Kel smiled ruefully. "Fencing,"

"In this weather?" Lalasa pursed her lips and gave the squire a stern look. Nevertheless, she flagged down two servants in the hallway, and a hot bath was soon prepared. Kel stripped off her sodden clothes wearily and handed them to Lalasa, before slipping into the water. The ache from her over-enthusiastic training session eased somewhat by the heat, and Kel felt slightly more invigorated as the minutes passed.

"You really should know better, my lady," Lalasa said quietly after a long period, hanging up Kel's garments by the fire and retrieving a stack of fluffy white towels that she had placed there to warm.

"I had things to think about and there were too many people in the indoor courts," she replied, as if the concept made perfect sense.

"Lady Yukimi?" Lalasa handed her the largest towel as she stepped out of the tub and Kel wrapped it around herself, shivering despite the warmth of the room.

"Among other things," Kel blushed slightly as her former maid gave her a very knowing look. "Lalasa?"

"Mmm?" she was roughly towelling Kel's short hair dry as the girl squire sat on the edge of her bed.

"What would you do if…if you knew something that had the potential to hurt someone? Would you tell them?"

Lalasa stared for a moment. "You aren't talking about Master Neal, are you?" Kel shook her head.

"Worse than that." she mumbled, twisting her hands in her lap.

"Well…" Lalasa said slowly, "if they didn't need to know then I wouldn't tell them. There is no use hurting someone for no reason." she cocked her head at Kel. "Is that the answer you wished for, my lady?"

"Yes," she answered, relieved. "Yes, thank you, Lalasa." Kel took a breath to say something further, and sneezed violently. A whole string of Yamani curses rang in her mind as the other woman rose again.

"I had best send for a healer, my lady."

"Not -" she began, but was seized by a fit of sneezing, above which she could just hear Lalasa ask a page to find Neal.

Thankfully, he took long enough that Kel was able to change into hose and a tunic. She was just brushing back her damp brown hair when Neal's unmistakeable haughty voice enquired from outside the door "You decent, Kel?"

"Yes, come in," she inwardly swore at the falter in her voice. Of all the times she needed to be calm! Composing herself, Kel turned to greet her friend. They were dressed identically in black, though she noticed that his garments were a lot finer than her own. Dukedom. Kel observed with a shiver. The difference between their stations was made abundantly clear as Kel and Neal stood in silent gridlock. One day, her best friend would be Duke of Queenscove, while the only way that Kel would own property was if she married.

"I hate to say it, Kel, but you do deserve this," Neal observed quietly as Lalasa gathered her embroidery and backed out of the room. Kel's only answer was to sneeze again.

"Gods curse it!" she snarled, and Neal looked at her in surprise. Her tenseness was due to his presence, and this cold was making her irritable. "I hate being ill," she grumbled as Neal tried to hide a smirk. He held out a glowing hand which he placed on Kel's forehead, and almost instantly, she relaxed.

A few minutes later, the sneezing had stopped and Kel felt much better. "Thanks," she said awkwardly as Neal raised an eyebrow.

"You've got something on your mind. And I'm willing to bet a gold noble to a copper that it has something to do with that friendly little exchange with Cleon earlier."

She fixed him with a piercing glare. "Eavesdropping?"

"In a thunderstorm? You forget, Kel, my room looks out over the Queen's Garden." Kel longed to wipe the satisfied smirk off his face, but she knew it was through anger at herself. She had even told Dom that Neal would be in his room! Why then, when Cleon had led her to the gardens, did she not remember that Neal would be able to see them?

"So, will you tell me?"

Kel sighed and gestured for him to sit down, which he did - on the floor - where she joined him. "You have to promise me that you won't say a word to Cleon, or anyone, for that matter. It's not for my sake," she said quickly, noticing his enquiring look, "it could hurt several people who really don't deserve it."

Neal, appearing slightly sceptical, nodded slowly and listened as Kel related the conversation of earlier. "And I think that was what he was trying to say…I know a lot of noblemen have mistresses, but I couldn't do that to Ermelian…or to myself."

He frowned deeply and fixed his gaze on the slate-tiled floor, murmuring. "Doesn't he know who he sounds like?"

"Sorry?" Kel asked, confused by Neal's lacklustre response. He blinked a few times before looking back at her apologetically.

"Cleon…never told you about his father, did he?" Kel shook her head. "Leonel was a drunk and a womaniser. He had a lot of mistresses," his eyes darted around the room furtively before he leaned in close to her and dropped his voice to just above a whisper. "Rumour has it that one of them bore Cleon, and another his sister, but Mariah - the Lady of Kennan - refused to confirm anything. The court gossips said it was because Mariah was barren, but I don't believe a word of it - Leonel needed no encouragement for his eyes to wander."

Kel stared at him, aghast. "How do you know all this?" Neal looked very grim.

"I lived my life at court. You hear a lot of things." he pulled away to rest his head against the mattress. "Cleon hated his father for the longest time, but now it seems like he inherited more than just his father's looks." Neal was scrutinising her face for any clue as to her feelings, but Kel hid her disgust behind a bland mask.

She felt numb. Kel could understand why Cleon had never told her about his father - had she been in his position, she probably would have done the same - but the fact that he was making the same mistakes…She had longed to believe that what Cleon had said earlier was an accident; just a poorly-considered accident. But somehow, knowing this information, Kel couldn't see how it could be anything but a conscious decision on his part.

Yet more trouble in…well, it's not quite paradise, is it? Never mind, review and we'll see how this progresses!