The Guys Dig The Fuzzy Chick
Chapter 9: The Sensational Squirrel Girl- Part 1
By
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.
Quote of the day- 'Once, my TV didn't work, so I kicked it. And it started working again.'
Milwaukee, Wisconsin-
It was nighttime in the city of Milwaukee. One lone woman was walking through the park. The woman clutched her purse close as she hurried on home. The park was no place for a woman to be walking alone at night. Even if the rumours about a nighttime Avenger patrolling the park, the woman didn't want to find out whether there was any truth in those rumours.
'Gimmie all your money!'
The woman jumped back in fear as a masked man leapt out of the bushes with a knife.
'C'mon! Gimmie your purse!'
'O-okay... Please, just take it... Don't hurt me...' The woman whimpered as she gave the mugger her purse with quivering hands. The mugger snatched the purse out of her hands and went to make a getaway.
'Chk-chk-chk.'
The mugger stood stock still as he heard something coming from the trees above his head.
'Chk-chk.'
'Chk-chk-chk.'
The mugger looked up at the trees above his head to see several pairs of beady little yellow eyes peering back down at him.
'Chk-chk.'
The mugger dropped the woman's purse and ran away as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn't get very far, as several small furry figures leapt from the trees, scratching and biting him.
'No! NO! NOOOOO!! YAAAAAGHH!!'
The woman slowly reached down to pick up her purse. She then ran away before whatever got the mugger came for her.
Xavier's, the next day-
Jamie, Sharon, X-23, and Molly were sitting around the table playing a game of cards.
X-23 slammed her cards down on the table with a triumphant grin.
'Bingo! Ha! I've got bingo!'
'Uh... X...' Jamie scratched the back of his neck as he tried to break it to the young clone gently. 'We're not playing bingo.'
X-23 looked at the young mutant known as Multiple with a perplexed expression upon her face.
'We're not?'
'Nope.' Sharon shook her head. 'We're playing poker.'
'Oh...'
X-23 picked her cards back up off the table and took another look at them. She scratched her head with a confused frown.
'Are these cards any good?' X-23 asked as she showed her friends her cards.
'Full House!' Molly threw down her cards with a growl of disgust. 'That isn't fair! You were freaking cheating!'
'It isn't cheating if she isn't aware of it.' Sharon pointed out. 'Besides, it's not as if we were playing for money or anything.'
'Man, playing poker for candy.' Jamie shook his head in shame. 'We totally suck.'
Then, Wanda chose that moment to make her presence known.
'Have you guys seen today's paper?' The mutant hex-wielder asked as she threw the paper down on the table, scattering cards all over.
'Only the funny pages.' Jamie answered. 'Is it me, or is Garfield getting kinda samey?'
'Another mugger was attacked by squirrels in Milwaukee last night.' Wanda explained. 'It's the third attack this week!'
'So?' Sharon shrugged. 'Perhaps the guy tried to steal the squirrels' nuts.'
'Squirrels don't do that.' Molly pointed out. 'They never attack people. Do you think somebody's controlling them? Making the squirrels do crazy things?'
'We'd better go see the Professor about this.' Jamie got up off his chair. 'There might be a mutant involved somehow.'
'That reminds me of something I heard Scott and the others talking about the other day...' Wanda tapped her chin in thought. 'There's a story that some mutant girl that looked like a squirrel beat up Doctor Doom.'
'The nemesis of the Fantastic Four, Doctor Doom?' Sharon blinked in disbelief.
'No, the guy that owns a florist shop downtown, Doctor Doom.' Wanda retorted sarcastically.
'Doctor Doom has a florist shop downtown?' X-23 blinked in confusion.
'X...' Sharon sighed as she put an arm around the young clone's shoulder. 'We have to give you a talk about sarcasm one of these days...'
The X-Jet, later-
Jamie, Sharon, and the others were sitting in the X-Jet as they flew towards Milwaukee. It seemed that Professor Xavier was having the same suspicions that they were. The squirrel attacks on muggers, and the squirrel-like girl that allegedly attacked Doctor Doom may have been connected. So that was way Xavier sent a team of X-Men to Milwaukee to find out. Perhaps this mutant, if the girl was indeed a mutant, would have liked to have joined the X-Men.
'I still say this... squirrel-girl is nothing but an urban myth.' Sharon sniffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. 'There's more chance of having a guy with spider powers swinging around in Queens.'
'We live in a world where people can shoot laser beams out of their eyes, and move trucks with their minds, yet you don't believe that one young girl may have buck teeth and a furry tail?' Hank spoke up from his position in the pilot's seat.
'Well, it just... sounds silly, is all.' Sharon suggested meekly.
'As apposed to the aforementioned optic blasts and telekinesis?' Hank asked.
Sharon just muttered under her breath and slumped down in her seat.
Elsewhere-
A young blonde woman ran along a shiny metallic corridor. The young woman pressed her hand against an access panel beside a door and ran into the room beyond.
'Sir, you wanted to hear whether the X-Men were going to make a move to recruit that young girl in Milwaukee...' The young woman stated.
'I knew it was only a matter of time before Charles started to recruit more weak-minded fools into his army of lapdogs.' A white-haired man stated from his position sitting in a big leather chair facing a bank of television monitors.
The man motioned with a blue-gloved hand, and a red-and-purple helmet floated towards him with a metallic hum.
'Well, I dare say that it is time to round up the Acolytes.' Magneto said as he placed his helmet atop his head. 'Well done, Regan. Your father would have been proud.'
'I aim to serve, sir.' Regan Wyngarde, the daughter of the thought-manipulating mutant known as Mastermind, bowed. 'Sabretooth and Pyro are ready and waiting. Quicksilver went out for supplies. I could put in a call to Omega Red if you want.'
'Make it so.' Magneto nodded. 'We may have need of your services as well, my dear. We will undoubtably come up against my dear estranged daughter.'
'I look forward to it, sir.' Regan smiled evilly. 'Your daughter won't break out of the fantasy that I have concocted for her...
TBC...
Next: The Sensational Squirrel Girl- Part 2
The X-Men face off against Magneto and his Acolytes with Squirrel Girl caught in the middle.
