~*~*~
Chapter Nine: Memory, More Fickle than a Fag
Saturday July 10 1999
Brian nodded to Daphne and she punched the play button to the CD player. The soft sounds of "Save the Last Dance" wafted through the bare living room. Brian turned to Justin and removed his sling. Justin was now in a regular sling as well, but they left that on.
"W-we were r-really dancing to t-this corny o-old song?" Justin asked as Brian pulled him into a hug.
"I prefer to think of it as ridiculously romantic." Brian retorted.
"You should have seen it. You and Brian had the entire floor to yourselves." Daphne said with a smile.
"And did some pretty fancy moves." Brian led Justin into one, Justin only stumbling a little bit but quickly regaining control.
"Mouths were dropping. You were so cool and then...then you guys kissed - so hot."
"Y-you kissed me? In f-front of everybody?" Justin asked as Brian twirled him around gently.
"Yeah. You should have been there." They shared a sad smile. Jamie was sitting in the far corner, watching them and ready to jump in if either needed her to. Justin stumbled to a stop.
"T-tell me more." Justin asked. Jamie gave the go-ahead.
"We walked out after that dance." Brian continued. "Back to the Limo to make out before Daphne and Damian joined us. I don't remember what we were talking about," Brian admitted. "And we only reached the sidewalk when I blacked out."
"Your mom was freaking out." Daphne said. "At the trial a couple people said Brian woke up and was fighting back for a few minutes as people ran around in a panic. Then he passed out. You were totally out of it the whole time."
"Oh."
"They tried to run." Daphne said. "All five of them. But the two lugs holding Brian tripped over their own feet and brought the third down." She giggled. Justin could picture it. "Chris and his other head goon got a few feet before, get this, a couple of the football jocks tackled them."
"N-no shit!" Justin exclaimed.
"Yeah. Apparently homophobia isn't rampant enough for most of the students to condone assault." Daphne said with a grin. "The only people that I could tell weren't affected much were the dick of a math teacher, some woman teacher I didn't recognize, and a handful of the students."
"I w-wish I could r-remember." Justin whispered. "Not so m-much the attack but the d-dance."
"You'll remember with time." Jamie spoke up. "It probably feels like a movie playing in your head right now." She continued. "But eventually you'll remember your own version of the events and you'll move on."
"Until then we'll just have our own ridiculously romantic dances to make up for it." Brian lifted him up and twirled him around. Daphne giggled.
"It would probably help to visit the scene of the crime." Jamie said after Justin pulled away from their heated kiss. "Take a Limo back and walk around." Justin merely tilted his head as Brian immediately rushed off to call the Limo company. "I didn't mean right now…"
"H-he's always like this." Justin said with a smile. "If y-you say stuff l-like that he has to b-be on top of it." He bit his lip at the pun. "N-not like we h-have anything else to do." Sure enough not twenty minutes later Justin, Brian, Daphne, and Jamie were in a Limo on heading towards the dance hall. Justin practically sat in Brian's lap, eyes squinted, as they drove the short distance.
"So you remember the ride." Brian said as they came to a stop. "But nothing after?" Justin shook his head as they exited the car. He glanced around – everything looked normal. No signs that a bashing had taken place there. Of course, he didn't really expect any…
They walked around, hand in hand. Up the steps, into the hall, back out, over to the tree where Brian said they shared a smoke, then down the sidewalk. At one point Brian spaced out for a few seconds, but was back before Justin could even move. They exchanged sad smiles.
"It'll take time." Jamie said from behind them. "Don't be too discouraged. Now, tell me: have you two had sex yet?" Justin whirled to glance at her in shock.
"Our therapist is a closet perv." Brian muttered.
"It's a valid question." Jamie argued. "I want to know if you've been able to be intimate or if you're having any problems. With touch."
"I-it's been hurting." Justin finally answered. "W-we're both still in s-slings and I c-can't take his weight." Justin revealed. "W-we don't want to h-hurt each other."
"We've resorted to handjobs." Brian smirked. "Ambidextrous is a GOOD thing." Justin poked him. Jamie nodded in acceptance.
"And crowds? Do you still have panic attacks?" She asked Justin, who shrugged.
"N-not so much."
"He is doing better." Daphne piped up. "Since he was released he only had one with me."
"And a couple with me when we're jostled on Liberty Ave. But nothing bad." Jamie nodded, pleased. Justin let his eyes wander across the street. Through the chain link fencing he could see a group of kids playing.
"L-Lindsay's over there." He noted, changing the subject. Brian glanced over. "And Gus." Melanie wasn't too far off from where her partner was sitting with their son.
"He's getting so big." Daphne sighed. Justin pushed himself under Brian's arm for a hug. "We should go over and say hi." Out of the corner of her eye Jamie saw little Gus pick up a yellow whiffle ball bat and swing it.
"Justin!" She turned at the panic in Brian's voice and saw Justin partially collapsed on the sidewalk.
"Lower him to the sidewalk so you don't strain his shoulders. Or your arm." Jamie ordered, marching over. Brian complied and Justin crumpled, eyes wide and terrified.
"What's going on?" Daphne asked as Jamie knelt in front of the pair. "Is he okay? Is it a seizure like Brian has?"
"He'll be fine – no, it isn't a seizure. I think he's remembering." Jamie said as Justin shook. Brian held him securely against his chest, lips pulled in between his teeth. "Daphne, get on his other side – we should get him back into the limo and home so he can rest and be somewhere safe when he snaps out of it."
Daphne moved quickly to help Brian get Justin to his feet. The blond stumbled as they led him to the limo, and every so often his body would twitch or jerk. Jamie quickly explained that it was natural – the body was reliving the attack. By the time they reached the Loft, Justin was out cold and Daphne had to help Brian carry him up to bed.
"Just stay with him for a while. Let him know he isn't alone." Jamie said as Daphne left. "He's been through a shock. If you need me, call me." She added. "He should be fine though – people respond to these things differently. I would expect anything from a full blown panic attack to utter calm and acceptance." Brian nodded. "Now go on, lay with him. I'll let myself out."
Brian watched Jamie leave, and the slamming of the Loft door broke him out of his stupor. He padded over to the bedroom, kicking off his shoes and most of his clothing as he went. He immediately pulled off Justin's shoes and jeans – those were never comfortable to sleep in – and tucked them both in under the duvet.
He managed a light doze, arm wrapped around Justin's waist, for about two hours. Then Justin stirred and he let the blond roll away from him. Blue eyes blinked hazily at him for a few minutes.
"Better now?" Brian asked softly as Justin sat up and stretched. His body was relaxed – no signs of panic attacks or any other problems. "You really freaked me out."
"Y-you?" Justin twisted to look down at him.
"It was like we were attacked all over again." Brian admitted, sitting up.
"I r-remembered. Walking o-out of the building." Justin said, eyes squinting. "Talking. Then I h-heard a crack and you w-were on the ground. I c-could see them – Hobbs' groupies. T-then everything went b-black and I vaguely r-remember flashes of seeing y-you, and blood."
"I only remember flashes too." Brian admitted. "The doc says it's because we were knocked so hard and it happened so fast. Neither of us will probably remember much of the attack itself."
Justin inched forward until he was pressed tightly against Brian's chest.
TBC
Okay, about six more chapters to go of "season two" but around 16 of "season three" - all finished. "Season Four" is a compilation of seasons 4/5 of the show and is about halfway through. I'll probably be posting a few other fics, too, to get them done and out.
Thanks to all reviewers! Glad you're sticking with me.
