Ch 9 - Please Don't Leave
A.N. Heyy guys! sooooo here is the next chapter! i know i said i would have one more chapter up sooner but i was quite busy SORRYYYYY! Loving the reviews, you guys are so awesome!
The kiss feels wrong. Peeta's kisses make me feel weak at the knees as his soft lips fit perfectly to mine. This kiss feels nothing like that. His lips are hard instead of soft, instead of tender the kiss is rough, and instead of feeling butterflies I feel anger.
With all the power appearing from my growing frustration I him away from me and punch him directly in the eye. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT GALE! YOU HAVE JUST RUINED EVERYTHING! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I yell, my eyes piercing his as I slowly approach him nursing his soon to be swollen eye.
"Oh calm down Catnip I" he says as he shrugs off what he did.
"CALM DOWN! GALE I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO I LOVED! A BOYFRIEND WHO I PROMISED THAT NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN BETWEEN US! AND DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME CATNIP!" I interrupt him. His cool demeanour starts to fade and be replaced with a growing frustration.
"Katniss you don't really love him. Trust me when you tell him and then you break up you will finally realise that you never loved him. It has been me all along Katniss, you just let all the Capitol people get into your head." He says whilst approaching me.
"The Capitol didn't get into my head Gale. I chose Peeta and I love him. Even if he does leave me because of your stupidity there is one thing that I will never EVER do, and that is be with you." I angrily spit at him. "If I ever see you again, I swear you will regret it." I say as I turn and begin to walk away. As I look back when I am almost out of sight I see Gale is about to say more, but I stop him before he has the chance to speak.
"Oh and Gale." I yell out to him.
"Yeh Katniss" he yells back with hope in his eyes.
"If you really want to know how real my love is for Peeta, why don't you just ask Haymitch, he calls us rabbits." I say with a smirk. Gale looks at me confused, not fully understanding what I am implying, so I continue.
"You want to know why he calls us that?" I ask rhetorically " Because I can't get enough of his dick." I say, trying to hide the laughter that is threatening to escape my lips once Gale realises what I mean.
I make it back to the Victors Village in around 30 minutes. Once I got back into the house not only did I realise I had been crying but I suddenly became aware of the throbbing pain that is emitting from my hand. I walk into the kitchen and grab some ice out of the freezer and put it in some plastic. When I place the icepack onto my hand I wince and then finally take in it's appearance. My fingers are slowly becoming swollen as a bruise begins to form where my fist connected with Gale's eye. Peeta is going to know something happened the second he see's my hand. I feel nauseated just thinking about what his reaction will be.
By the time I finish making dinner it is 6.30 pm, he will be home any minute. Ever since I got home I haven't been able to stop pacing and the nauseated feeling just intensifies as the minutes go by. I hear the faint click of the front door closing as I just finish serving up dinner. I place the two plates on the table and feel two hands snake around my waist and a pair of lips softly kiss the nape of my neck.
"Hello beautiful" Peeta whispers in my ear before turning me around and placing a soft peck onto my lips. As I stare into his loving eyes I can't stop thinking about how much I don't want to tell him about today's events. But I have to.
We both sit down at the table and begin to eat dinner. "So how was your day with Gale today?" he says more calmly than expected. My mouth goes dry and all I manage to spit out is a faint "Okay". My heart is beating at the speed of light and I feel as if I'm about to throw up. Peeta looks up from his meal, noticing my change in demeanour.
"Kat are you o" he says but falters when his eyes flicker to my hand where a quite large and dark bruise is resided. "Katniss what happened today" he says seriously looking at me straight in the eyes.
All of a sudden it was as if I had word vomit, it all just seemed to fly straight out of my mouth. "Gale took me to the woods and then he admitted that he never came here to be my friend, he wanted more, he kept saying how I don't really love you and that it's always been him and I tried to get away and I kept telling him that wasn't true and that I loved you so much, that I never even loved him, it's always been you." He never once took his eyes off me as he sat perfectly calm.
"Then what happened?" he asked, knowing there is more to the story.
"I…. I tried to turn around and get away from him.. I" I stopped, suddenly noticing the tears that seam to be running steadily down my face. Peeta's calm exterior seems to be ebbing into a look of worry as he waited for me to continue "I'm so sorry Peeta" I choke out as the tears become more forceful.
"What exactly are you sorry for Katniss" he whispers with sadness in his voice.
"I'M SORRY BECAUSE HE KISSED ME PEETA!" I yell, my crying now turning into full blown sobbing.
Peeta stays silent for what seems like hours while I sit in my chair with teas flooding down my face. "that…. That's why my hands like this.. I … I punched him in the eye" I choke out between sobs. I just want him to say something, anything. The silence is killing me.
"I told you not to go Katniss" he says in the most monotone voice I have ever heard from him. It's then that I take in his appearance. He looks like a beaten up puppy, his head is lowered and his shoulder's slouched. Yet as soon as I see it it's gone, changing into something else. Something I haven't seen in a long time. He is fighting off an episode. His fists are suddenly clenching the wooden table and his face is contorted in pain.
Immediately I rush over to him "Peeta it's not real! Peeta please it's not real!" I say soothingly as I caress his face. However my usual strategy doesn't seem to be working, my Peeta doesn't seem to be coming back to me. That's when he yells.
"KATNISS GET AWAY FROM ME! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!" he tries to stand however I don't let go of him. "Peeta please, it's not real" I say trying once again to soothe him. His eyes suddenly burst open and I'm met with a mixture of blackish, blue eyes. He quickly grabs my hands from his face "You want to know why I have to go Katniss, why your usual calming method isn't working" I'm silent as he grips onto my hands with increasing strength and he continues "Because this IS real Katniss. You kissed GALE HAWTHORNE! THAT MAKES IT REAL!" he shouts at me whilst forcefully letting go of my hands and storming out of the house.
It's been hours since Peeta left. In the time that he has been gone I haven't moved, all I have done is sit on the kitchen floor with a constant stream of tears running down my face. I don't know when, yet in the early hours of the morning I blackout and once again, my night is filled with nightmares.
My head lies peacefully on Peeta's perfectly sculpted chest. The breeze is softly rustling through my wavy hair as we lie in the meadow. Instantaneously our peace was disrupted as a rumbling occurred directly beneath us. Both of us stand up quickly as we begin to rise further and further above the meadow.
I look at Peeta yet he is no longer there. I look beneath me and all I see is a never ending growing pile of dead bodies in which I'm standing on top of. All of a sudden Peeta is next to me again, a smug smile on his face. "I never knew someone could actually be this heartless Katniss, you really are a mutt aren't you" he says as he looks at the never ending pile of lifeless bodies beneath us.
"I'm not heartless Peeta! I didn't kill these people! The Captiol did!" I choke out as I try to keep the tears from escaping my eyes. He just looks at me with a disgusted look in his eyes "Katniss this was no one else's fault but your own. Your heartless, you killed all these people with the same ease you had when you pretended to love me all this time."
"No Peeta you don't understand! I always loved you! I still do Peeta!" I cry to him. Suddenly Peeta wasn't there anymore. Instead I see a repeat of what happened in the woods. I'm yelling at Gale then he grabs me and kisses me. However something is different in this scenario. I'm kissing him back. The kiss looks to become more heated as we start shedding our clothes off. The scenario stops and I'm yet again faced with an angry Peeta. "That doesn't really look like you love me Katniss." He says bitterly.
"No Peeta! That's not what happened! I pushed him away, I swear!" I plead to him desperately. Soon enough he was storming over to me, his hands locked tight on my throat. "I have had enough if your lies Katniss. Time for you to join all those people you killed" he spat at me. Then, it all went black.
"Katniss, it's okay. Wake up Kat, it's not real" I hear a voice faintly whisper.
My eyes slowly flutter open and I am met with the most stunning blue eyes I have ever seen. "Peeta, you came back" I whispered, my voice hoarse from crying and screaming. Peeta cradles my head in his lap and places a tender kiss to my forehead "Of coarse I came back Kat. I only left because I knew I couldn't hold back the flashback. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I ever hurt you Katniss" he whispered to me with nothing but love in his voice.
"I thought you would have left me, why… why didn't you? " I said sadly. The pad of Peeta's thumb is suddenly wiping away a tear I didn't even know I had from my face "Why would I Kat? It wasn't your fault. Sure it hurt a little but well your hand proves just how much you didn't want it to happen. I can't blame you for wanting your best friend back." He says whilst wiping more tears from my eyes. "Besides I just got the woman I have loved for my whole life, as if I would give that up because of some idiot" he says with a soft chuckle. My tears come to a halt and a smile slowly ebbs its way onto my face as he continues.
"Plus it was a lot easier to forget about when I gave the other eye of his a bruise to match the one you gave him." He laughs and then helps me up off the floor. "How about I make you some cheese buns for breakfast and then we spend the day in bed?" Peeta says with a cheeky lopsided grin and he gathers the ingredients for my favourite baked food. "I wouldn't want to spend my day any other way" I smirk back at him. As I watch him make his way around the kitchen it hits me just how much I love him. I honestly don't know what I would do without this man.
A.N. SOOOOOOOO who thought Peeta would actually leave?! :P I hope you liked this chapter. As always reviews are much appreciated! LOVE Y'ALL!
p.s. hoping to have a new chapter out by Thursday! xx
