Author: Raven Shadowrose

Title: Epiphany

Rating: K

Pairing: Jeff/Dixie

Summary: Jeff and Dixie think about their feelings

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Casualty, any original characters and this story are my property and I do not give permission for anyone else to use this story.

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone that has read this story, I was going to end it after the second chapter but I think that Dixie and Jeff's story isn't quite finished yet so I'm going to continue with it for a little while longer. Again Thanks to Beethoven RIP and chan. nelson4444 for their comments, your reviews make me smile. This chapter is much happier than the last ones, enjoy :)


Chapter Nine... Jeff.

Saturday, no work today, that is probably a good thing as I need to talk to Dixie. What we said yesterday cannot be ignored, everything is out in the open now. This is new territory for me, I've never had a lesbian admit to loving me before. I'm not sure how she loves me, does she love me as a friend or does she love me as a wife loves her husband. I'm confused, we'd spent most of yesterday fighting and not speaking to each other properly and then suddenly we were admitting how we felt about each other.

This situation is going to need careful handling, we've spent years living together in a platonic relationship, one wrong step could ruin everything. We have a lot to discuss and we need to be honest with each other. I can't take back anything that I said, if could take back all the hurtful comments that I said to Dixie yesterday then I would do. I stretched my arms out, it was time to get up and face the day, lying in bed wasn't going to help or put off the inevitable conversation that we needed to have.

We don't do much of anything at the weekend, having a busy job means that you really relish the times when you don't have to get up and rush around, the small amounts of downtime that you have becomes precious. Our usual Saturday consisted of breakfast, a read of the papers, and then we'd walk Little Abs together. I think that the routine is going to change this weekend. I pulled on my comfortable clothes and made my way downstairs, it was early, sort of anyway. Not as early as when we get up for work but early enough that it could still be called morning.

I went into the kitchen, Dixie was sat at the table, she was tracing patterns over the surface with her fingers and she looked lost in thought. I didn't want to disturb her, she looked peaceful, but we had to talk. 'Morning princess.' Dixie started, she really must have been in a world of her own.

'Oh, morning Jeff.'

'How long have you been up?'

'Not long, an hour or so.'

'Is something the matter?'

'No, I was just thinking.'

'About what? As if I didn't know, she was thinking about last night.

'Last night, did you mean it when you said you loved me?'

'Of course I meant it, I would never lie about something like that.'

'When did you know how you felt about me?'

'Do you remember when we spent the night together, after that girl died?'

'I do, it was one of the worst days we've ever had.'

'Having you in my arms felt so right, it had been so long since I spent the night with anyone and then suddenly we were together. I realised how much I missed the comfort of having someone close to me. I honestly do not know how I would have got through that night without you there Dixie.'

'I know how you feel, I didn't know how I was going to survive the night either. That poor girl dying was the only thing I could think about. You made me realise that I had done everything that I had could for her. If you weren't there I don't think I would have made it either.'

'I think we rely on each other more than we realise Dix.'

'Me too.' Dixie looked as if she was thinking. 'What do we do now?'

'I've thought about that myself.'

'And?'

'I don't know.'

'Oh, I see.'

'This is new for both of us, we need time to figure it out.'

'I know.' Dixie ran her hands through her hair, she is as confused as I am, I'm glad about that, it means we can figure it out together.

Dixie began tracing patterns on the tabletop again, I watched her fingers running around in random circles and loops. Though there was silence in the room, it was comfortable, I'm glad that it isn't awkward between us. 'Is that helping you to figure things out Dixie?'

'Not really.'

'When you think about it, I confessed how I felt about you in a fit of passion after we'd argued, it's not exactly ideal.'

'I know, I think we should take it slowly, one step at a time.'

'Okay, I can work with that. Maybe we should go out to a restaurant or to the cinema.'

'On a date?'

'Why not, we've already established that we feel something for each other. A date might help us explore our feelings a little better.'

'Okay,' Dixie smiled. 'A date it is, I've not been on one of them in the longest time and never with a man. 'Then I'm honoured to be the first man you go out on a date with.'

'When are we going to do this?'

'Why not tonight, it's not like we're doing anything.'

'Tonight, I'd better start getting myself ready, after all the bathroom isn't a time machine.' It was my turn to smile, Dixie must be feeling better.

I sat back on the sofa, Dixie has gone to have a bath, I need to find somewhere to take her tonight. It has to be somewhere nice, not too romantic, that will be too scary for our first time out together as potentially a proper couple. I do want it to be somewhere that we can be at ease and talk if we want to. I felt nerves rush through me, what if she hates the restaurant that I pick? I feel like I'm back in high school again and taking a girl out for the first time.

I know that Dixie would laugh if she could see my indecision, I have picked up and put the phone down quite a few times. Every time I think I have decided where we're going I change my mind. I shake my head, I know what Dixie likes better than anyone and yet I am still having trouble making my mind up where to take her. I took a deep breath, picked up the phone and called the first restaurant that I had picked. I was just being daft and letting my nerves run away with me

Dixie is out of the bath, I can hear her walking about in her room, I would take a shower later just before we went out. I'm going to walk Little Abs soon and he'll drag me through mud and all the puddles in the world. I do not see the point in getting clean now only to end up dirty again. At least I have managed to book the restaurant, there is a nice Italian place not far from here, it is always quiet and full of couples so I figured that it would be perfect for this evening. Maybe I should order some flowers too, if I'm going to do the gentlemanly thing then I should do it properly. I might even get chocolates, Dixie loves chocolate, at the very least she will be happy with the gifts. I felt the nerves come back again, I couldn't help but laugh, I could hear Dixie's northern accent telling me to pull myself together.

On the way back from Little Abs' walk I ordered some flowers, they would deliver them to the restaurant just before we were due to leave. I bought some of Dixie's favourite chocolates and hid them in my room, she won't go in there so she won't find them until I'm ready to give them to her. I wasn't sure what I was going to wear for this evening, I didn't want to go in a suit, I've never been good at wearing suits. Maybe I'll go partly in a suit and forget the tie, I hate ties, they make me feel like I'm being strangled.

Once I had put Little Abs' things back on the hook in the kitchen I went to find Dixie, I found her sat on the sofa in her dressing gown. 'Look at you, you're a right lady of leisure.'

'I hope that isn't your way of saying I'm lazy Jeffrey.'

'Of course not, would I do that?'

'Definitely.'

'You know me too well.'

'That I do.' I sat down next to Dixie on the sofa, she looked all cuddly in her dressing gown.

'You look like a hug, the ones off that advert for soup.'

'Really? I'm not always that cuddly.'

'I know, sometimes you bite, beware the scary northern woman behind the fluffy exterior.'

'I'll give you scary in a minute Jeffrey.'

'No thanks, I've seen your temper in action and I don't fancy another dose of it.'

'I'd remember that if I were you.' Dixie laughed. 'Did you book anything for later?'

'I did, we've got to be at the restaurant for seven.'

'Okay, seven it is.'

'Are you nervous Dixie?'

'No, I'm not, it's just us going out like we've done before.'

'You're right. How about I make breakfast?'

'Now there's a good idea.' I made my way back into the kitchen and started on breakfast.

Saturday was always fry up day, it was the one day of the week that we ate anything that we wanted to. Some days you just have to eat all the junk food that you can possibly fit inside your stomach. It was always bacon, sausage, eggs and beans, accompanied by toast. The smell of the food when I put it out on the plates made my stomach rumble and I called Dixie into the kitchen. 'Dixie, breakfast is ready.' I put the paper on the table sat in my place, Dixie joined me soon after and she put tomato sauce on her food. 'How can you eat that with red sauce, brown sauce is the only way to go.'

'Nope, you just haven't experienced the delights of tomato sauce.'

'I don't want to.'

'You don't know what you're missing Jeff.'

'And I'd like it to stay that way.' Dixie chuckled, in some ways we were opposites, I was glad that we liked different things, it kept everything from getting boring.

We spent most of the day relaxing and chilling out, it was how we spent most weekends. 'Dixie, do you think we should start getting ready?'

'Yeah, I have no idea what I'm going to wear.'

'I don't either, I need a shower, Little Abs still likes the puddles and running about.'

'Yep, you smell Jeff.'

'I do not, I resent that accusation.'

'I'm just kidding with you.'

'I should hope so too.' Dixie patted me on the leg and I stood up. 'I'll be ready soon, don't take too long with that make up Dixie.'

'You're a bad man Jeffrey Collier, I'll get you for that one day.'

'I have no doubt that you will.' Dixie laughed and I went to get my shower, I was quite looking forward to our date tonight.