AN: Just in time for post Valentine's Day week! Sorry for my dark sense of humor…
"Until we have seen someone's darkness, we don't really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is" - Marianne Williamson.
Time may as well had fallen still as Nyota stood trapped in Khan's powerful grip, the fear and momentary sympathy strangely vanishing to be replaced by righteous anger and fortitude. She possessed the common sense to shun his intentions towards her rather than his appearance. Nyota was young, but certainly not vain.
"This is what you do, isn't it? You threaten and manipulate people for your own needs. I was a complete fool to believe your claim to be my source of security." Her whispered words struck him with full force as Khan began to loosen his grasp even more, allowing a few inches of space to stand between them and a visual of her face to read if she meant what was being said.
A hostile growl rumbled in his chest, Khan's brilliant mind absorbing her defense of removing his mask and directly disobeying him.
"You don't love me as a person, but as an idea. As your one hope for a sample of simple human happiness. You have groomed me to be your personal plaything and to satisfy your needs as a man. But I am not as naïve as you think. I will not be kept as a prisoner to entertain you and keep your insanity at bay." Nyota never kept her eyes away from his burned face, the rage in his own extinguishing into a calm light of rare exposure. "You're not a beast of savagery. You're a man hiding behind the façade of a monster for protection. And I refuse to be the reason for the evil you execute."
She had seen right through him and Khan knew it… She had broken through his steely resolve and primal instincts to reveal the shattered mortal.
Khan immediately released her from his hold, so quickly that Nyota felt nearly disoriented from the mental battle between two learning minds.
"Perhaps I placed a greater amount of faith on you than I believed you could handle, my dear Nyota." His back was to her, his voice a breadth away from a distinguishable choked sob. "I always knew it was not an advantage to fall in love. After my face was destroyed, I knew I could no longer live as an ordinary person. I found my way into these dreadful cellars…after so many years of hiding and solitude."
His words faded as he caught his breath, Nyota simply studying his body language to deduce his mood. She was his confidant at the moment, so she remained within his range of reaction.
"I wanted to die. I tried. And I had every reason to suspect that I had absolutely nothing to live for…" Khan could no longer hold back the silent tears that seared his cheeks, refusing to face the woman whom his fragile heart still beat for despite the intensity of the past few moments. He was completely open to the elements of her hypothesis, to see if this one deed of slight betrayal would make him despise her very presence.
Nyota could only listen with appalled intrigue and an odd urge to comfort him. He was still a human being that deserved some form of assurance, as he had done for her in the past couple of days.
Khan had reached down to retrieve his fallen mask, still intact to replace upon his ethereal features. His dark hair was awry, he noticed as he ran a shaking hand through it in a smoothing fashion. He was concentrating so on readjusting himself that he failed to hear her quiet footsteps behind him.
Nyota's slender fingers set onto his shoulder in a gentle motion, the skin of her palm brushing the soft fabric of his cloak. His inaudible gasp of surprise was silent even to his own ears as Khan slowly turned to look into her eyes in wary astonishment.
Her gaze shone with understanding and a spark of empathy. "I…I'm not sure what to say, Khan."
Her tone of voice indicated shame for both of their respective actions. They were both in dangerous territory, a No-Man's-Land meant only for them in which to unravel their desires without the hazards of fatal repercussions.
"Nyota, the last thing I will ever want from you is your pathetic attempts to express pity for me. As if I'm a starving animal in a cage." His burning eyes focused upon her face as she slowly drew away from him, releasing his shoulder. He battled the need to take her into his arms in a more tender method than before, to euthanize the monster calmly waiting for another escape from his mental chain.
"But a cage is what you intend to keep me in if…" She wasn't quite able to put in simplistic terms what their relationship was to be in the eventual span of time.
"When you become mine in the sense of agreeing to marry me." He explained to her as if it were the most obvious statement in the English speech. "I am not a good man, Nyota, but you are not a mere plaything to me." His voice lowered in a deep lull that her heart raced to its vibration, her body responding in an almost involuntary way. "You are the woman I want at my side. If you will only say 'yes', everything I have is yours. I am neither a submissive man, but I will make an exception for you by making your wellbeing my absolute priority."
Nyota had been so entranced and taken aback by his words of passionate devotion that she had only then noticed how he took hold of her hand in both of his. Khan's larger hands cupped her daintier ones in his grasp as she noticed the faded lines of dried tears staining his pale cheeks. Tears he had cried for her, for his loneliness and her betrayal of trust…
When he had raged at her only moments before, he said that she could never love him since his face was revealed to her. Ever since he had rescued her from Marcus, his genuine human side had appealed to her.
The way he had looked at her with such knowing about her very being as a woman, with adoration and vigilance of her emotional and physical health…
How he had carried her without complaint in his arms twice now through the cavernous tunnels underground to ensure that no harm befell her…
Was Nyota truly considering the possibility of loving this side of Khan, the man of flawed intent, but with the longing of true human connection with her?
The next thing she felt was Khan slowly raising her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles with tender reverence. After all that had transpired just moments before, forgiveness was granted in her favor.
When Khan looked down at her once more, waiting for her response with silent patience, she could only ask the one question that invaded her overwhelmed mind. "Are you proposing to me, Khan?"
"Yes." He continued holding her hand as he reached down into his pocket. "I know you do not love me now, but one day, you will. A life with me will not be in a cage. It will be a home where you will be safe and content."
Out of his pocket, Khan removed a sparkling trinket that Nyota quickly recognized as a ring, with a silver chain tied through the golden loop. A diamond engagement ring…
"I give you a choice again, Nyota. If you accept this ring now, then you and I will wed and leave London together after the show's run of Il Muto in one month. If you decline it, then I am willing to wait until your final performance in the show and ask for your answer once more after you have had time to consider it." He held up the precious jewel for the singer to see.
"Will we also continue with me coming to stay with you after nightfall?" Nyota was anxious to know if their bargain still stood despite the damage having been spread. She hated how timid she sounded in that moment.
"Yes, that would perhaps be for the best. Now, I will ask you, Nyota Uhura." He held the ring, chain and all, in his open palm. A peace offering of an unpredictable future with him… "Will you accept this invaluable gift as a sign of my love for you? The events of this night have not diminished a single iota of it."
She stared at the jewel with great deliberation, mentally going through her options. If she promised herself to Khan of her own free will, it would guarantee everyone's safety at the company where she had spent much of her life as a girl. Now, it seemed all of their lives lay in Nyota's hands and she prayed for the strength to give him her answer.
The needs of the many outweighed those of one individual person… She would be parted from Carol and Spock. And she knew Khan would never let her go. She could not tell anyone of her plight. If anyone interfered or she tried to leave London and escape him, her betrothed would seek her out to the ends of the earth. With a shaky breath of courage, Nyota whispered her response and sealed away her fate, to be the bride of an enigmatic fiend.
"Yes." Never before had one word required so much effort for her to say. The sickening sensation of nausea violated her stomach as she made her final move in the game.
Khan's only readable reaction was the infuriating affection in his eyes, which disgusted Nyota. She wanted to scream and curse his name out to the high heavens. Instead, she glared up at him in defiance.
"You will soon realize the error of your ways, Khan. You cannot simply negotiate for my heart because it is not a reward. The sole reason I'm agreeing to your proposal to prevent bloodshed and ruin in this theater. I will keep my hands clean of sin." She seethed out in a hiss that genuinely surprised the man standing before her.
As she spoke, Khan merely strode toward her until he stood behind Nyota, gently brushing away her hair over her shoulder. She shivered in an involuntary way as the heat from his imposing body collided with her goosebump-ridden flesh. The ring, still wrung in the thin metal chain, rested against her bosom, cold and heavy upon her heart. She felt his fingers glide down her neck as he fastened the necklace to a comfortable length for his beloved bride.
"While I admire your words of strength and fire, they do little to move me. I'm not a moral man, after all." His voice was between mild-mannered purr and insistent growl as he finished the latter sentence. He had come around her again to assess how his betrothal endowment complimented her splendor.
She was absolutely flawless, he mused to himself.
"I know this is not what you want at this moment, but if you give me the luxury of time, I will make you happy with me, Nyota." Khan whispered only for her to hear, trying to lure in his protégé. "If you play fair with me, I will be more than satisfied to reciprocate." He resituated her hair behind her shoulders as Nyota toyed with her symbol of a coerced engagement with her steadied fingers.
"I may be here physically in your home as your willing captive, but I will never give you the impression of possessing my freedom as an individual woman with a mind of my own." She turned away from him, tucking the necklace underneath the top half of her dress. "Now, the hour is late and people will be wondering where I am. I would like to return to my dormitory room."
"Very well." Khan's response was blunt, showing little reaction to her sudden demand, but he was impressed by the amount of vigor Nyota kept concealed inside her. Such spirit made her a worthy opponent in his mission to have her. And he would win…
.
.
Caroline Marcus knew she would pay dearly for skipping out on rehearsals, but she could not be bothered to care when she knew her best friend was with her damaged cousin. She had to wait for Nyota's safe return and have this entire mess sorted about the termination of her father.
While Carol was certainly not dimwitted, she had to obtain answers straight from Nyota, if she had really been assaulted by Alexander Marcus. Recently, she felt as if she could no longer trust anyone…
At last, she heard faint voices coming from the dormitory mirror, which she knew held a secret passageway only she had known about. After all, she had been the one to hide Khan all those years…
A slim shadow emerged from the opening glass surface as Carol stepped in expectance, revealing Nyota, stoic and silent as she refused to meet the blonde ballerina's eyes.
The two women merely waited for other to speak first, not sure of what to say. Many questions ran through Carol's mind as Nyota glanced back at the closing mirror, then back to her. The ebony-haired dancer swallowed to gain her voice, tears beginning to shine in her eyes as she opened her mouth to talk.
"He told me about you, how you're related to him. You brought him here years ago and you knew he was masquerading as my tutor when he was grooming me to be his pathetic bride." Her trembling fingers pulled out the ring around her neck, which held the weight of an iron chain. "Your cousin Khan has made me his singing jailbird and you knew about it all along."
"Nyota, I…" Carol tried to explain, but to no avail.
"How could you only play the role of the naïve best friend without acting out on your instincts to help me, when we've been like sisters to each other?" The hysterical soprano cried out as she clutched onto the binding ring, stepping toward Carol in a near threatening fashion, the lioness in her revealing itself.
Suddenly, a different voice interrupted the two stunned singers. A voice they both thought and hoped to never hear again. "Yes, it seems both of you ladies are keeping secrets from each other."
Alexander Marcus was closing the door to the dormitories, inserting a key into the lock to insure privacy. For a brief second, Nyota swore she heard a low, animalistic hiss behind her…
"Father, w-what are you doing here?" Carol took a step toward Nyota, their shoulders almost touching.
"I've come to confront the truth: That your lovely friend here has been writing those threatening letters to the managers in order to ensure her rise in position here at the company. If she isn't sleeping with one of them, that is, which that would not surprise me, either. Although, they must be desperate if they want someone of your…type." Marcus spat out with mocking spite.
"You liar! You know I would never do such a thing! And you should be lucky not to be arrested for attacking me that night." Nyota seethed out to him, taking the steps forward to be face-to-face with her assaulter. Ladylike propriety be damned…
"You little whore!" Marcus reached out with his huge hand and grabbed Nyota by the face, his thumb and fingers encompassing her chin in a painful grip. Carol held back a gasp of fright as Nyota struggled to keep her balance and wits together. "Nobody is going to miss you! Soon you'll be gone, either to the asylum or the guillotine!"
A cry suddenly erupted from Nyota's lips as her hand managed to reach behind her dress… In her pocket, if only she could reach it…
In a flash, Nyota's fingers grasped onto what her they were seeking and her hand made a swift motion toward Marcus' throat.
The small knife slashed the grotesque flesh of his throat, there was no time for either woman to absorb what was happening. Carol released a bone-chilling scream as liquid gore sprayed Nyota's face, warm and disgusting as it stained her virtue and standing as a pure woman. Her hands were filthy with blood, both in the literal and biblical sense.
Marcus fell to the floor, his eyes blank with nothing except the graying of his irises as the life abandoned his body. Nyota's knees began to shake as her vision mixed with the colors of crimson and black.
The final words that went through her mind before her sight became swallowed by darkness would haunt her for eternity.
I've become a killer. I'm a broken woman with the insanity of the man promised to be my husband.
AN: In case you all didn't know, the title of the chapter is a reference to a line in the 'Phantom' musical when Christine removes Erik's mask. He calls her, "A prying Pandora" and "a lying Delilah" in his rage and also refers to the secrets between Carol and Nyota. Please review if you come upon this story. Thank you!
