Disclaimer: Anyone who's thought process goes from 'Edward Cullen' to 'Bleach' cannot possibly be intelligent enough to create Tokyo mew mew. I also don't own EA games, the Twilight series, or anything else I mentioned in this pile of stupidity.
A/N: …this is pure retardation. You will lose brain cells. You have been warned.
Robots
Ichigo stared at the creatures-du-jour she and her cliché band of superheroes were facing that day.
Robots. Honest-to-goodness robotic chimera animas.
Was the writing staff this out of ideas?
Fiction
Kish furrowed his brow trying to think of a half-way decent retort to throw back at his far more intelligent adversary; Pai.
"Yeah, well, you're STRANGER THAN FICTION!"
Pai gave him one long look of 'Has he always been this dumb, or did he just eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?'
Girl
Kish stuck his tongue out at Ichigo. "You fight like a girl!"
Ichigo blinked. "Er, Kish. That's not much of an insult, as I AM A GIRL."
"Yeah…well…GAH."
Story
"Ryou…"
"Yes Keiichiro?"
"Do you ever feel like you're just an unimportant minor character in a story that doesn't have much of a character?"
"Never, but if I did, no doubt I'd be much cooler and important than you."
Atlantis
"This is worse than the apocalypse of Atlantis!" Kish declared to his bowl that had previously held ice cream. Honestly he turned his back for one second…
"What's Atlantis?" Tarto asked, hastily wiping off a bit of ice cream from his face as he entered the room.
Kish blinked. "You know, I have no idea!"
Pai refrained from bothering to attempt to knock some sense into Kish and Tart's thick skulls.
Hair
"Lettuce, may I ask you a question?"
"Of course Ryou!"
"You're Japanese, right?"
"Yes I am…"
"Then why do you have green hair?"
"…um…"
"And what about Zakuro and Ichigo's hair? At least Mint looks almost Japanese. But really what kind of person has red hair that colour?"
"…I really don't know…"
Scissors
"Masaya!" Ichigo bolted down a hallway in the school. "Masaya…what have I told you about running around with scissors?" She demanded, hands on her hips.
"Not to…" Masaya mumbled to the ground.
"Good. Now give those here!"
Masaya obediently handed them over. "Yes mummy."
Kish
"My name is Kish and I have green hair!" Kish warbled spinning drunkenly around on a deserted road. "I have a really stupid name in the English dub and fanfic writers like to pair me with everyone!" He fell into a ditch and started to laugh hysterically.
Pai gave Deep Blue a long, hard look. "We are never giving Kish alcohol again, you hear me?"
Deep Blue nodded in agreement.
Ichigo positively flew into the Café. "You'll never guess what I got in the mail!" She exclaimed.
"You just won a thousand dollars?" Mint asked boredly, doing a crossword, she was only missing one last word...
Ichigo gasped. "How did- never mind! I'm off to Vegas to go get married to Masaya! Bye!"
Mint sighed and turned back to her tea and newspaper. "She's finally gone."
"So it all started when I was checking my email,"
"Berry-"
"And I actually had, like, eighteen! But six of them were just junk. So I was, like, whatever, and deleted them. And one other one was just from my grandma-"
"I really don't-"
"And another one was from Tasuku- it was, like, totally sweet!"
"Would you listen-"
"And the last one was from some chick who was completely trash talking to me. So I went on to her facebook account and spammed it and-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BERRY I DON'T CARE!" Kish exploded to the Mary-sue like character.
Internet
"The internet is for porn!" Kish sang horribly, quoting a musical he most likely didn't even know, once again drunk.
Tarto went on a screaming rampage and threw a battered couch at Kish's head, which managed to muffle Kish's drunken ramblings.
"I THOUGHT WE AGREED KISH WASN'T ALLOWED TO DRINK!"He shrieked in a completely non-girly way to his fellow aliens.
Simpsons
"American television is completely stupid! What kind of people have yellow skin?" Mint stated angrily.
Zakuro nodded wisely. "Yes, because all Japanese people have purple and red hair and blue eyes."
"Exactly!"
EA Games
"So I heard EA Games is going to make our next game." Keiichiro said conversationally one day.
At once everyone started to scream.
"But EA Games is from North America!"
"I don't want to be called Kiki again!"
"No more mew puns!"
"AHHH!"
"Predacytes! NOOOO!"
Patrick
Keiichiro frowned at his best friend.
"You know Ryou I don't think I know what your middle name is!"
"It's Patrick."
"Well that's random…"
"Not nearly as random as Kish's."
"Aliens have middle names?"
"They can also handily speak perfect Japanese."
"So what is it?"
"Elizabeth."
Edward Cullen
"Kish! I've just found out! You're listed as the second sexiest fictional character in this magazine!" Tart said excitedly for some odd reason, skidding into the plot.
"Second?" He exclaimed, shocked. "Then who's first?"
Tart nodded boredly. "Some Vampire named Edward Cullen."
"How is a vampire sexy? They're undead…and corpse-y…"
"I dunno….what's so sexy about an alien?"
"…loads of things…"
Bleach
Keiichiro entered the café his usual self- only to be pretty much attacked by his fellow staff members- all of them shouting at him at the same time.
"What in heaven's name did you do to your hair?" Ryou screeched loudly, just barely above the noise of the others.
Keiichiro laughed, sounding more than slightly sheepish. "Well you see there was some bleach last night and…"
Laundry
"Laundry?" Kish asked slowly, as if it were a foreign word to him, though judging by his clothing it probably was…
"Yes Kish, laundry." Ichigo told him, talking as though she were speaking to an idiot who didn't understand the concept of an odd number.
"What's that?"
Ichigo had the sudden urge to headdesk.
"When you wash your clothing…" Ichigo said warily; he had to be kidding, everyone knew what laundry was.
"What so you just go around naked while it's getting clean?" Kish said, startled. "You humans are so weird!"
Ichigo gave into her headdesking urges.
Melee
Link died. Again. Stupid pretty boy. Fairy. Thing.
"Damn it!" Kish swore, throwing his controller at the wall childishly. "I give up! This game is stupid!" He stormed out.
Tart rolled his eyes. Honestly Kish should know by now that he could kick his but at Super Smash Brothers Melee.
Abuse
Zakuro smacked Kish.
"ABUSE!" He shrieked, and then fled from the plot.
Zakuro stared where the alien had previously been "What…the fudge." She stated.
Thesaurus
Ichigo's dad (who hereafter shall be called Bob) stared at the English paper Ichigo had written and gotten an A on.
"You used 'said' forty-eight times. Honestly does she not know what a thesaurus is for?"
Ichigo grabbed a conveniently placed blender and threw at her father, missing him by a mile. "Shut up dad, you're supposed to say 'Good job on not failing English Ichigo' or something supportive like that, god."
Bob snorted. "That's so last generation Ichigo."
A/N (again): More to come... I was stuck on a few words, so here's about…. one third-ish.
Stone and I had a contest to make up a random list of words in a minute or less, and I decided to play a bit more with mine.
I apologise if Ichigo's dad really did have a name but I couldn't seem to track it down… Also I don't hate Berry, heck I've never even read a la mode, but from what I've heard she's pretty Mary-sue-ish. I mean she has two animal genes and is automatically the new leader? If that doesn't make her a Mary-Sue I don't know what does.
