Chapter Nine: Doof's at it Again
"Wait!"
Annie and Perry stared at the blank screen. Perry hung his head with a heavy sigh.
"I'm sorry, Perry. This is all my fault. If I hadn't literally fallen for that dumb trap, we'd be back at my place eating lunch." As she spoke, she typed an access code into the computer. She glanced at Perry's questioning gaze, and answered, "Don't worry. I'm not going to back down that easily."
The back of Monogram's head appeared on the screen. "…but I love nachos, so…"
Carl interrupted. "Uh… sir, you're on again."
He turned around. "AJ! Agent P, are you going to let her get away with that?"
Perry nodded.
Monogram put his hands on his hips. "Oh! I see how it is!"
"Sir!" Annie had her arms crossed like a stubborn child.
Monogram sighed. "Yes?"
"You can't relocate Perry."
"We've been over this, AJ! Unless you have any other idea, then we have to…
Annie shrugged. "I can always quit. That's better then relocating Perry."
"You can't quit!"
A nasally voice called. "Actually, she can sir."
"Quiet Carl! You've done quite enough!"
He scowled. "I don't care what the technicalities are, You can't quit, so don't you start threatening me young lady! You will not quit, and that's that!"
She was frowning. "Sir, none of this has made any sense. You're just making this up as you go along, aren't you?"
"What? No! No, I'm not! You see Carl! This is why I prefer agents that don't talk!"
Perry held his breath. Did she just call Major Monogram out?
"Look, just give it a trial run. I'll keep watching Perry until his owners come home, his cover will stay intact, and he won't tell them about me either, right Perry?"
Perry nodded. As if I could without giving my cover away anyway!
Carl appeared timidly on screen. "Actually sir, that's probably the best option."
Monogram sighed. "I know it is, and I don't like this either, but I have to do this."
"Why?"
"Why sir?"
Why?
Monogram shrugged. "I don't know. I just have to do this. It's… kind of weird actually. Right after I sent Agent P to take on Ver Bose, which, by the way, I told you not to send AJ to do, Carl!"
"No you didn't sir!"
"Be quiet Carl! Go wash my socks."
"Yes sir."
Annie sighed. "Sir, right after you sent him…"
"Huh, oh right! Right after I sent him, I just got this inexplicable urge to relocate Perry as far away as I possibly could. Nothing personal Agent P. At least, I don't think it is…."
Annie frowned. "Have you been brainwashed?"
Perry chattered to get their attention, and a purple building appeared on the screen.
Monogram rubbed his chin. "Hmm, Doofenshmirtz huh. No, that can't be it. Now leave me alone!"
She turned to Perry. "You think he's got something to do with this?"
Perry nodded.
"Alright then. We'd better get going," she picked up his hat and set in on his head.
Realization dawned. "Wait! You're... but you…. You're not… you can't be the Agent P?"
Well, there are a few of us. His hope returned as he realized there was still a chance.
"You're the unstoppable Agent P? The top agent in the OWCA? Defeater of the Regurgitator? The Agent P that Monogram can't stop talking about?"
Perry shrugged, the blush in his cheeks telling all.
She turned red too. "I uh… hope I didn't keep you from stopping anything important yesterday…"
He shook his head, and reached to shake her hand. Suddenly he frowned, and pointed to the top of her head.
Her eyes shot up. "Wha..? Oh. My hat must be back in the car." She smiled back at him. "But you've probably got a few other questions, huh?"
He nodded.
"Let's get going, and I'll explain on the way. C'mon, my car's out front."
"Well, let's see. Where to start? I was transferred to the OWCA a years ago when I got caught up in someone's evil plan to take over something, it always seems to be the same thing around here. As you can see, Major Monogram and I don't always get along so well. Carl really did just debrief me, and I'm only just realizing how crazy you must think I am…."
She scratched the back of her neck. "Sorry about the blathering."
He shook his head and gave her a thumbs up. It might've been the fact that she was trying to keep him with his family, but he suddenly didn't care if she babbled or not.
She smiled. "Thanks. Hmm, what else? The desk job's my cover, courtesy of the OWCA…. What?"
Perry was pointing.
"Here? Wow…" They went in though the main door, and up the elevator. Annie bent to pick the lock, but Perry knocked on the door. He handed Annie a piece of paper, and stood back.
Doof opened the door as Annie read the slip out loud. "Re-locate-inator?"
"What? Oh… it's you… Perry the platypus, what are you doing here? Do you need a relocateinnator, or does she? If you remember correctly, I'm on vacation… but as soon as I finish that, I'd be only too happy to make a device that sends you a million miles away."
Perry crossed his arms.
"What? The vacation was your idea after all, Perry the platypus!"
Annie shook her head. "No. We're here because of the machine you already built."
He glanced at her, then turned back to Perry. "What? Is that really why you're here? I'm not up to anything, really! Come on in, I'll show you!"
Both agents stepped in, wary of a trap, but none sprung.
Doof gestured. "You see, nothing! I really am taking that vacation!"
Perry walked over to an obvious devise and pulled a sheet off of it.
"Oh, that? No, that's just a get-rid-of inator that I built in my spare time. I have even more of that now, Perry the platypus. And I still have a lot bananas, if you want any. They're going fast though, this baby runs on banana mush."
Annie walked over to it. "Has this been fired recently?"
Again, Doof addressed the platypus. "Only once. It had nothing to do with you, by the way. I just thought I would make a device that makes someone take the thing that's most important to them, and put it somewhere where it will do no good. See, like, some fat guy could get hit, and he'll be all like, hey, I should put my remote control on the moon! Or a teenager would put her cell phone in the trash compactor. See! It's so evil! I only tried to test it on norm, but it kind of went through him… and what are you doing?"
Annie stated calmly. "He's reversing the beam. You did hit someone."
"I did? Well why didn't you just say so, Perry the platypus? Go right ahead and fix it, like I said, I wasn't trying to do evil anyway. I'm just sorry you had to come over here at all. I mean, it is your vacation too, after all."
Annie bent down and whispered. "This is your nemesis?"
Perry nodded as he triggered the device again.
Doof was taking three bananas from the pile. "Incidentally, who is this, Perry the platypus? Did the agency finally give you a translator? I mean, it's kind of late for that! I've already learned to read you anyway!"
Perry shook his head.
"Oh she's not? Who is she then?"
"I'm…" She stopped as Perry took his hat and spun in up onto her head.
"She's an agent too? They sent two agents down here to thwart me for a mistake I made on my vacation? As if you weren't bad enough! And she's all, like interrupty, and talky, and stuff. Well, I guess that's just how things are sometimes." He turned back to Perry. "Hey, where'd he go?"
Annie pointed. "He's right there!"
"No…seriously, where…"
Perry rolled his eyes and held his hand out for his hat. Annie gave it to him taking a step back from Doof.
Doof's eyes lit up when Perry put his hat back on "Oh there you are! Don't worry, I found him. Hey, Perry the platypus, does she have a name, or what?"
Perry looked at Annie. She shrugged. "AJ."
Doof crossed his arms. "Your name is two letters? Or is it all like, A, y, e, J, a, y, or something."
She put a hand on her hip. "Your name shortens to Doof."
"Hey! No one calls me that! Do they, Perry the platypus! You don't think of me that way, do you?"
Perry shrugged and forced a smile.
Doof scowled. "What? You do… oh that's just fine! Well… you fixed your little problem, and now you can just go."
As they headed back to the car, Annie asked. "But… why doesn't he recognize you without the hat?"
Perry just shook his head.
To be continued...
A/N: Still don't own Perry or the others, minus mine. (Except I'm really starting to think about disowning that co-worker.) : )
That last chapter was a really hard one to follow up. I had to re-write it a few times to get it going back in the right direction. I'm still not sure that it is.
I did save one rough draft, however, that I might post later, as a deleted scene.
Thanks for reading!
