(Notes: Here it is.. the unapologetic fluff chapter! Those of you who are here for the fluff, this is the chapter for you! I really hope I was able to put Sabrina's complicated emotions and reactions into words well enough.
I want to make a shoutout to the guest reviewer "Darkeye" for the kind comment! I really appreciate it!
Thanks again to anyone else who has commented, enjoyed, or even just read this far. It makes me so happy to know some people have enjoyed this!)
If she wasn't hugging me I might have tried to move away. Not because I disliked it, but because I thought there must be some mistake. Maybe she slipped? Maybe I was imagining things?
No, these were her lips and she pulled me closer as she kissed me, denying me a chance of second guessing her intentions.
I, of course, kissed back. Why wouldn't I? I didn't even question it.
The moment our lips met it felt like home. I became suddenly, profoundly aware of something I had always wanted - I had just never realised I wanted it.
My unmistakable longing to kiss and hold Erika romantically like this suddenly snapped into existence and was immediately satisfied within a fraction of that second. I experienced an indescribable feeling of shock and serenity all at once.
I.. really didn't know how to handle the situation though. What should I have done with my hands? Hug her back? I couldn't. I just left them hanging awkwardly at my side. How do you kiss people anyway? Should I have moved my lips or just let Erika press herself into them? I had no idea. I just left my mouth mostly still. I was the very picture of someone who had never kissed anyone before.
While all these thoughts and questions danced around my euphoric head, mere seconds had passed. It wasn't long before Erika eased away, though she still left one arm wrapped around my back.
I timidly opened my eyes to meet her gaze. She was.. really close, and I could feel her warmth on my face. I was still extremely flustered, but seeing her eyes so close right after she had kissed me was enough to make my head so hot that my hair felt like it was standing on end.
"First kiss?" Erika whispered confidently. My eyes darted curiously to her lips, but her fan was already covering her mouth again. I pouted.
"Y-yeah..." I breathed meekly. The way she held me against herself intimately actually made me feel a little more confident of what was happening, but I was still largely lost for words. I let out a hot sigh and shivered, as if I'd been tensely holding air in my lungs for a while.
She peered to my arms and gently headbutted her forehead to mine. "Hey.. hug me, silly... I'm your girlfriend now. You can do at least that much."
'Girlfriend. Girlfriend!? I'm your girlfriend now. I'm your girlfriend now.'
Her words bounced excitedly around my head.
My face heated up again. My mouth quivered. My eyes lost focus. My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest. It took me a few moments to digest what she had said before I made myself sheepishly curl my arms around her neck and lean my head back against hers', as I stared into her eyes.
I loved this closeness. I loved this warmth. I loved it. I never wanted to leave.
The reality of it all began to sink in. The kiss, this intimacy, my feelings.. I became overwhelmed. A choked up whimper escaped my throat as I squeezed her tighter, burying my face in her shoulder, wanting to be as close as possible. A few tears streamed quietly down my face. Erika stroked my hair reassuringly.
"What am I going to do with you.." she purred comfortingly.
I felt her take a deep breath in before she gently gripped my shoulders and pulled away slightly. I could finally see her mouth now. She was smiling sweetly as she wiped my cheeks with her finger. I smiled back, though my mouth was still quivering slightly.
I.. really hoped she could see how happy I was despite my mess of a face. Even looking into her beautiful eyes was still a little overwhelming, and it was taking way too much will power to stop the tears flowing. I emotionally huffed a laugh as I tried to calm down, sniffling and rubbing my own red eyes.
"S-so.. I uh.." I admittedly didn't know what to do now. I averted eye-contact and stared down. I noticed her normally sunny kimono was slightly damp from my tears. I bit my lip in embarrassment. "U-uh.. what do girlfriends do exactly?"
'Dumb question! Stupid question! Aaargh!' my thoughts berated me.
Erika laughed. A pretty hearty laugh rather than a small giggle. Like I'd told a funny joke. My shoulders slumped and I pouted again feeling even more embarrassed. Erika affectionately pecked at my cheek a few times to cheer me up.
"Girlfriends do.. stuff like this. They kiss.. they cuddle.. actually they do a lot of stuff we already do." she tilted her head and locked eyes with me, smiling tenderly and rubbing my upper arms reassuringly "We've been enjoying occasional physical intimacy for a while now.. so we were already pretty couple-y don't you think?"
"I-is that right.." was Erika seriously flirting with me all this time? She knew what she was doing to me!? Meany.. But more than anything, I was still shocked that she had been willingly giving me that kind of attention these past months.
"Yes?" she giggled and gave me a small squeeze. "And Sabrina.. girlfriends also open up to each other. Please don't feel like you need to hide things from me or hesitate so much around me, okay?"
Clearly she could still sense my anxiety and hesitance to act, but it was probably pretty obvious from the way I kept holding myself back from indulging myself in her. Even though she was my 'girlfriend', I still wasn't confident in the reality of that and all it entailed. I felt volatile, like I could lose it all in a single second with just one false move.
"..Can I kiss you again?" I worked up the courage to ask. Erika playfully twirled a finger around my long dark hair and giggled "Of course you may~" before leaning into me and closing her eyes expectantly.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head. I first bumped into her nose with mine.. then into her forehead with mine.. before my lips finally found hers' and pressed into them. I relaxed and breathed out through my nose, my endeavour completed.
It was more of a determined peck compared to her longer kiss, but I actually felt pretty embarrassed after bumping into her twice so I pulled back after just a few. "Hehe.. S-sorry about that."
Erika giggled and assertively grabbed my collar in her fists, pulling me into another kiss. This time she breathed in deeply as her lips engulfed mine.. before letting me go and letting off some steam.
She held my face in her hands, close to hers', beaming at me with the same adoring expression she usually afforded to Grass Type Pokémon. "You're so cute Sabrina.. You are seriously such a cutie! I can't get over how cute my girlfriend is!" she laughed a little louder, affectionately kissing my cheek a few times before planting another on my lips. She was grinning as my face reddened like mad again.
"Y-you winnn.." I mumbled in a smitten daze as, my eyes glazing over from the barrage of affections.
Obviously, she was way better at this than me! I was not at all surprised, but even though she kept messing with me like this I didn't mind? She seemed happy.. really happy. Even though it was just me, she was really happy to hold and kiss me. Happy that I was hers'. I was totally caught up in her pace and seeing her laugh and smile as she held me made all my worries evaporate.
But we'd been standing up hugging for a while and I'd been crying.. so it was getting a little harder to ignore the pounding ache in my head.
"Uuggh." I groaned out loud in a moment of calm. "Does crying ever stop giving you big annoying headaches?"
Erika smiled sympathetically and stroked my hands. "No.. unfortunately I don't think so sweetie." she huffed and gave me a little space, sitting us down.
Eventually I relaxed a little more. While I lacked the confidence to be very assertive about doing anything 'couple-y', she more than made up for it by being affectionate with me, helping me to feel comfortable in the new weird situation.
Actually, it was a little like how it was when we rekindled our friendship after years of not talking. Kind of? Just in the way she initiated conversations and encouraged me that I was doing okay. She even encouraged me about my messy first kiss and said she couldn't wait for me to try to kiss her again.
Arceus... Okay then.
We actually ended up spending the rest of the day together. I hinted a few times that Erika could go and reopen her Gym, but she wasn't having any of it.
"Don't be silly! I'm not leaving until we have our first meal together as a couple of course~!" she chimed and clapped her hands together innocently. I squinted at her suspiciously and she just laughed.
After squabbling a little over who got to cook dinner, I finally persuaded her that since she was my guest I should be the one cooking. I actually really wanted to try her cooking, but I couldn't allow it. No way.
I wasn't really a fantastic cook. I'm still not, actually. It's literally a by-the-books thing to me. I followed the instructions in the cookbook precisely, so it's fine. Just nothing special.
This was the first time I was anxious about how my cooking tasted though. Erika was fascinated by how obsessively precise I was in my measurements, peering over my shoulder nosily the whole time. It was really cute? But I was starting to think my red face would never return to its regular pale shade ever again!
"Arceus, Sabrina, you even made it look exactly how it looks in the cookbook picture!" she exclaimed excitedly, her eyes lighting up "I seriously always thought they were just airbrushed to look nicer!"
What a weird thing to be impressed about! Wasn't it supposed to look exactly how it looks in the cookbook picture? My girlfriend is weird. I laughed anxiously.
In the end, despite my concerns she insisted the meal was delicious. She still couldn't believe how exact I made everything, down to our portions being identical to each other in weight and arrangement. She kept going on about it!
"It's really not that difficult with a little telekinesis, it's not a big deal..!" I waved my hands in front of myself embarrassedly and tried not to laugh.
Erika slapped the table gently, pretending to slam it "That's not the point! Your attention to detail is absurd! I can't believe you do this every day!" she tried to hold back her laughter.. but she was terrible at it, it just made her laugh louder. She actually snorted a little sometimes while laughing? Which was.. so adorable. Her laugh was so cute and contagious and I couldn't help but laugh myself.
Come to think of it, I had seen her smile a lot while we were together, but I had never, ever seen her laugh like this before.
She brightened up the cold halls of my Gym for the day and it almost felt like it was somewhere much more pleasant than my home. Even in my brief moments of anxiety it was hard to fight this persistent, goofy smile on my face the whole time, and a pleasant feeling of warmth in my chest. I was unsurprisingly sad to see her go in the evening.
I saw her off at the front door of my Gym.. it was pretty late, but Celadon was still a quick trip. I clasped Erika's hands in mine. I planned to say something cheesy but in the end all I could come up with was..
"A-are you sure the food was okay.."
Erika beamed back at me, shining brightly like a star against the clear night sky "Honestly Sabrina, I haven't laughed like that in so long.. nothing is more delicious than wonderful company, and the food you made me was almost as utterly delightful as the chef." she blushed slightly and tilted her head.
What the hell! She can't just say something like that out of nowhere!
"Tch" I tutted out loud and pouted "You're making me want to kiss you, you know.."
"I was counting on it~" Erika teased, leaning her head closer to mine and resting her arms around my neck, as she twirled my hair in her fingers flirtily.
Aggh! Fine dammit! Let's go!
I grabbed Erika by the shoulders with conviction and stared directly into her eyes. I think she actually jumped in surprise a little bit and her mouth took a v-shape.
I closed my eyes and slinked my arms around her back, pulling her close.. she relaxed into my hug while her gentle hands slid down my torso before resting on my rear.
Which made my head feel like exploding.
But no! I can't let her defeat me this easily! Even if she touches my butt!
I hugged her tighter in protest and pushed my lips into hers' more assertively than last time, my eyes shut tight as I endured the redness of my own face. I felt her squeeze me and giggle in delight.
As I pulled away I let out a deep sigh. "I can't believe you..!" I pouted. She reacted with another of her adorable infectious laughs.. so I ended up laughing too.
"Th-thank you for today. I loved it. Every minute of it." I said as I locked eyes with her again. She whipped out her fan and fanned herself, covering her mouth.
"I had a wonderful time with you, too. Aren't you glad I told you we were dating?" her eyes took that mischievous shape again. Even though she was teasing me, I felt myself growing more confident.
"I'm not sure." I ran the back of my hand through her hair as I stared her in the eyes "I think I may need a lot more kissing from you in the future to help me decide."
That was the smoothest I had ever been in my life. I actually saw a little redness appear from behind Erika's fan, as she fanned herself as quickly as her heart raced. I grinned sheepishly.
"Phew! I've trained you well.." she giggled. Giving my hand a little squeeze, she excitedly said "I really can't wait to spend time with you again. Call me, sweetie~"
...
I wandered back inside. Alakazam and my other Pokémon had respectfully kept to themselves for most of the day. As I wound down for the evening in a wonderful, elated mood, I went to find and thank him.
'Thank you, for being so cooperative today.'
Alakazam calmly closed his eyes and nodded 'Think nothing of it... Erika.. all of this, has been really good for you.'
I beamed at him warmly and nodded.
'I can tell she's a good person too.. so I hope you've been able to put the stressful past behind you.'
Alakazam was showing concern for me more often lately as we got closer.
But he needn't, it wasn't necessary!
Erika and I were actually dating now. The past didn't matter to me anymore,
At least, I didn't think it mattered at the time.
