Reviewing all the proposed upgrades made Shepard's head spin. Diligently she scrolled down the list of needed resources for each upgrade. Day after day, she read the compiled lists, sorted then prioritized them, applying whatever resources she had available to obtain the upgrade. Armor, personal technology, ship enhancement, all needed, all extremely boring. Glancing at the time, Shepard began to fidget. The work would continue to mount despite her best efforts to keep up. Time for a break. Leaving the CIC, Shepard descended to the crew deck and found Rupert cooking the next meal. Seeing her approach, he turned and began to make tea.

Rupert never ceased to surprise her. Each time she came to the mess, despite being up to his elbows in cooking, cleaning or repair, he would stop and make her tea. She watched as he pulled out a cup, placed it on the counter as he began to boil water. Stepping closer to the counter, she cleared her throat.

"Two please, Rupert." Nodding, he pulled a second cup from a cabinet and filled both with boiling water, tea and a teaspoon of honey. As he stirred, he pulled out a small tray. Placing the cups on the tray, he handed it to Shepard with a small bow. Rupert's homage to Thane brought a chuckle to Shepard's throat. Accepting the offering, she cautiously made her way to the life support plant. The opening of the door caused a small gush of air to playfully tease her hair. Stepping into the room, Shepard felt the stress of her day lift as she sought Thane.

Each time she entered his room, Shepard felt safe. Safer than when she was in her own cabin. The L-shaped room conveyed a sense of security. Shepard noted the two escape routes and plenty of material available for makeshift weaponry. Thane's table could also be doubled as a shield and weapon. Her special forces training focused her awareness on the strengths and weaknesses of any room. Thane's area was better designed for a tactical advantage than most areas on the ship. Seeing him at the table, Shepard knew he was watching her reflection in the window. Stepping closer, she waited for him to remark on her presence.

"Do you need something? " Thane's soft tone was like a caress to her frenzied thoughts. Her reflection in the window betrayed her eager expression. Moving to his side, Shepard breathed deeply before speaking.

"Have a few minutes to talk? " Bowing his head, Thane motioned for her to take the seat opposite him.

"Of course Shepard. Join me." Shepard placed a cup of tea to his left before taking the seat opposite him. Setting her tea to her right, she let it cool. Lazily, he sipped the tea as he peered at her over the edge of the cup. The air became tense as Shepard adjusted in her seat. Glancing at Thane she could see his eyes follow her every move. His stare conveyed pleasure at her presence. The mere sight of him caused her heart to pound. Breathing deeply, Shepard tried to calm herself before speaking.

"I've been thinking about you." His expression softened as he studied her. Leaning forward, he lowered his voice as if he was sharing a secret.

"And I you. Will you hear my confession, siha?" Thane's name for her caused the small flame of desire residing in her stomach to roar to life. Shepard could feel her skin sensitize, craving his touch. Her blood rushed through her body, creating a low ache in the center of her being. Clasping her hands together, she pressed them into her thighs.

"Last time we talked like this, you said you'd explain what 'siha' means." A small grin appeared on his lips as he watched her. His eyes were luminous, staring into her. Stoking the roar of her desire. Placing his hands flat, his fingers lightly dug into the table. Shepard could see his nails go white as the pressure he exerted increased.

"I need to explain myself to you first. When I married Irikah, the hanar let me leave their service to raise a family. But I had no other skills, so I freelanced. When Irikah was killed, I pursued those responsible. Once I'd eliminated them. I had no goal. I accepted the Dantius commission because I didn't know what else to do." His eyes were grave as he spoke. Clasping his hands, Thane stared at her. Shepard shifted uneasily under his gaze.

"Not the healthiest attitude to take on a mission." Thane looked away from her. His eyes scanned around the room, exposing his vulnerability. Glancing back at her, his expression was tender.

"Your right. It's not. Looking back now, it's clear I'd resigned myself to death. I would have fulfilled my contract. If Nassana's guards caught me afterwards, it would have been a good death. But someone else was pushing to reach the target. Forcing me to move faster. Challenging me. I had to reach her first." Leaning forward, the intensity of his gaze devoured her. The look in his eyes caused the world to fall away, leaving only him. Shepard struggled to breath against the weight of his presence pressing against her.

"I had no idea you intended to die that day." Shepard's voice sounded like a whisper to her ears. Thane scrutinized her face, intent on accounting for the choices he made.

"It wasn't a plan. My body accepted its death, my mind had been dead a long time. But I met another siha. Few are privileged to meet even one." The soft rasp of his voice was the only sound in her world. Her eyes implored him to tell her what she was to him.

"You still haven't told me what a siha is." His eyes became mischievous, teasing her. With a deliberate sigh, he stalled. Her tension mounted, Shepard hesitantly reached for him in an effort to draw him out. To tell her who she was. A soft smile on his lush lips tantalized her. Leaning a mere millimeter closer, his gaze burned her skin.

"One of the warrior angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector. I confess I've come to care for you. Perhaps I'm being foolish. We are very different." His name for her conveyed a comparison to Irikah. The the meaning of her name astonished her into silence. The need to confess her love for him abounded but she faltered. The fear of overwhelming him kept her confession a secret.

"I'm not sure we know each other well enough to call it love. But I feel something for you to. Something more than friendship." Unable to stand being so far from him, she reached for his hands, closing the distance between her body and his. Thane's hands grasped hers. His warm fingers caressed and stroked hers.

"I've never felt affection for another species. I'm not sure what to do now." Shepard sighed. She knew he saw his body as separate from his soul. His confession meant he wanted more than just a physical attachment. The realization of how he saw her was astonishing. What did I do to deserve him? Over the past few weeks, he had touched, kissed and held her yet he wanted more and was unsure of what to do. Squeezing his hands, she smiled at him.

"We'll just have to figure it out. " Looking at her hands, he entwined his fingers with hers. Staring intently into her eyes, he smiled.

"I look forward to the memories." Feeling elated, Shepard lowered her face to their clasped hands. After kissing his fingers, she rested her head on the table. Gently he ran his fingers through her hair. Each strand seemed to come alive from his touch, sending shivers down her back. The roar of her desire spread throughout her body as his fingers stroked her hair. Shepard didn't want the moment to end.

Standing at the galaxy map, Shepard tried to focus on scanning the planet below. Various sites across the southern hemisphere had yielded an abundance of platinum. The thought of Thane tugged at her. She wanted to sigh and lose herself in a daydream. Pushing the thought aside, she concentrated on gathering materials, her crew would need them in the days to come. A soft smiled played at the corner of her mouth as she stared at the galaxy map. The image of Thane's eyes swam through her thoughts. Focusing on the job at hand, Shepard listened as EDI launched another probe. Quietly she waited while the computer identified another site. The lull in activity turned her attention back to her thoughts. She imagined his face, his eyes studying her as his lips curved into a smile. The stars on the map twinkled reminding her of him as he touched her.

It had been a few weeks since she helped him save Kolyat. Since then, they had grown closer. Every night after yoga, she would lie on her mat and listen to him recite memories from his childhood. He would talk about his mother and father, his life on Kahje and his training. Shepard loved the sound of his voice as he spoke. The soft reverberation would send tingles across her skin and down her spine. Occasionally, he would reach for her hand as they talked. He wanted to know so much about her. What was her mother like? Her father? How was high school? What sports did she play? What was her favorite color? Shepard smiled widely as she thought of his laughter. Every time she thought of him, butterflies fluttered in her stomach as her arms would begin to ache to hold him. Looking at the time, Shepard knew she would see him very soon.

"Kelly, I'll be in the cargo hold if you need me." Turning and walking toward the elevator she could hear Kelly loudly sigh. "Have fun with Thane." She called.

Needing to change before practice, Shepard walked into her cabin and gathered her clothing before entering the bathroom.

"EDI. Thane should be here in a moment, please let him in." Closing the bathroom door, Shepard began to remove her uniform.

"Of course, Commander." EDI replied.

The feel of cotton against her skin brought back memories of her childhood. Unlike her daily uniform, the clothes she wore when she practiced yoga was soft and breathable. Wearing casual clothing, made Shepard feel like a normal person. Changing into her cotton shirt and pants signaled her day was done and now she was able to just be herself. These clothes, more than her uniform, she associated with Thane.

Hearing the door open and close, Shepard stepped out of the bathroom to find Thane waiting. His hands were clasped behind his back as his eyes danced at the sight of her. Crossing the small space between them, Shepard wrapped her arms around his waist as she kissed his chin.

"You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought." Chuckling, Thane wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close.

"Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?" With a gentle touch he brushed away a lock of hair from her forehead. Giggling, she kissed the corners of his mouth.

"Growing up I wanted to be Sherlock Holmes." With a delicate touch, he nuzzled her ear, worrying the skin.

"You're not a calculating automaton. You're warm, you feel..." Breathing heavily, Shepard placed kisses along his jaw before nipping at his lower lip.

"I feel you." Pulling her against him, Thane claimed her mouth. His tongue wet and teasing, caused Shepard to wrap her arms around his neck and press him against the wall. Shepared reveled in the feel of his lips caressing and stroking hers as a wonderful fog engulf her mind.

"Commander?" EDI quipped. Shepard ignored EDI, focusing only on Thane. His deft fingers kneaded her back as he ground his pelvis against her.

"Commander. You've received an important message from the Alliance." EDI's announcement caused Shepard and Thane to pause. Sighing, Thane quickly kissed her before releasing and gently pushing her away. Deliberately she licked her as she stared at his mouth causing a deep groan to emanate in his throat. Gripping his hands, Shepard tugged at him.

"Come here." Pulling him from the wall, Shepard wrapped his arms around her as she walked to her private terminal. Resting his chin on her shoulder, Thane peered at the screen as Shepard scrolled through her messages. The title of the last message caused she to pause, a cold knot to forming in her stomach. About Horizon... Hesitantly, she clicked on the message.

Shepard,

I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?

Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me... maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside.

But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die- on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember, I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.

When things settle down a little... maybe... I don't know. Just take care.

-Kaidan

Shepard's mind raced as she quickly read and reread the message. In an instant, she remembered the last time she and Kaidan were together before the destruction of the Normandy.

The sun was high, beating down on the city streets. The air was hot, heat waves danced across the pavement. Tugging at her armor, Shepard walked slowly, waiting for Kaidan. The sound of his husky voice made her stop.

"Commander, here." Kaidan handed her a fruit popsicle. Unwrapping the treat she could see it was raspberry.

"Thanks." Kaidan nodded in reply as he unwrapped his. Unhurriedly they walked down the street enjoying the cold fruit. Shepard could see a park, down the street, in the distance. The trees were lush with thick green leaves that created an inviting canopy, shading the grass from the hot sun. Pointing, Shepard motioned toward the park. Kaidan nodded enthusiastically as they quickened their pace to reach the shade.

Stepping under the nearest tree, the temperature dropped noticeably from the sweltering street. Wanting to feel the coldness of the popsicle, Shepard stripped off her gloves, stowing them on her belt. Kaidan looked at her, a soft smile played at his lips, his eyes full of mischief.

"There's a lake not too far from here, it'll be cooler there." Shepard nodded in agreement. Slowly they ambled toward the lake. Popsicles gone, Kaidan threw the sticks into the trash bin they passed. The sound of water lapping at the shore enticed them.

Suddenly squeals of children laughing rang out as the sound of tiny feet approached. Turning, Shepard watched six children, all different ages and sizes, run past her and Kaidan. A small girl, about the age of four, tripped and fell a few feet in front of him. Quickly he rushed to the child.

Her luminous green eyes were full of tears as she sat up. Her pink dressed was torn and dusty from her fall. Shepard could see her knee was scratched and bleeding. Holding the injured area, the little girl began to cry. Her small blonde head hung next to her knee as she wailed. Kaidan approached then crouched down next to her.

"Are you okay?" His gruff voice sounded surprisingly tender. The little girl looked up at him, her eyes wide, tears rolling down her face.

"I'm not suppose to talk to strangers." She sobbed. Reaching for his medical kit, Kaidan pulled out a sterile gauze and medigel.

"It's okay, I'm an Alliance Soldier. I'm here to help you." The little girl hiccupped and stared at Kaidan as he began to wipe her knee.

"You're a... uh.. so-jer?" Seeing the little girls eyes light up, Shepard suppressed the urge to laugh. Kaidan nodded as he tended to her knee.

"Yes. My name is Kaidan Alenko. What's yours?" The little girl watched him as cleaned her scrape.

"Emily Smits." Her voice soft, she appeared shy. Seeing her knee begin to heal, Kaidan reached under her arms, helping her stand.

"Well Emily. It's good to meet you. Where are your parents?" Emily covered her face with her hands but peeked at Kaidan.

"My Da's been gone. He's an engine-ear. Ma's at home." Kaidan frowned.

"Who brought you to the park?" Emily looked around, appearing to search for someone.

"My sayeeda brought me." Gazing into her tiny face, Kaidan held out his hand to her.

"Should we go find her?" Continuing to look around, Emily nodded. Standing up, Kaidan and Shepard began walking with Emily back the way she came. Shepard could hear a woman calling.

"Kaidan, I think her sayeeda is coming." Shepard watched as an older woman, dressed in a bright yellow sari, rounded a small hill. Seeing them, her steps quickened.

"Emily!" The little girl let go of Kaidan to run to the woman. The woman scooped Emily up, holding her close. The little girls arms wrapped around the woman's neck as she pressed her face into the woman's shoulder. The woman hushed her as she hugged her gently.

"I was looking for you." Emily peered into her sayeeda's face.

"I fell. The so-jer helped me." Turning to Kaidan, the woman held out her hand.

"Thank you. I'm Natasha, Emily's sayeeda. She and her cousins ran so quickly. I couldn't keep up." Kaidan warmly smiled as he shook Natasha's hand.

"I am Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko and this my CO Comander Shepard. It's no problem, m'am. We were just going to find you." Natasha smiled at Kaidan, a soft blush coloring her bronzed cheeks. Turning to Emily, she wiped the child's face.

"Did you tell Lieutenant Alenko, Thank you?" Emily glanced at Kaidan, suddenly shy, she hid her face in Natasha's neck.

"Thank you, Lewtendant Alan-ko." Hearing Emily's thanks, Kaidan laughed.

"You're welcome, Emily. Be careful. It was good meeting you Natasha. Take care." Smiling brightly, Natasha turned and left, carrying Emily. Shepard and Kaidan watched them leave as a soft sigh escaped him. Hearing his sigh, Shepard was curious, she had never seen Kaidan with a child. Softly she touched his shoulder.

"Your very good with children." Kaidan eyes met hers before he suddenly appeared embarrassed.

"I... like kids... I hope to have some of my own someday." Shepared watched as Kaidan glanced around furtively unable to meet her gaze. His hand rubbing the back of his neck. Shepard giggled as she watched him.

"You're going to make a very good father someday." Slowly Kaidan looked at her. His eyes appearing intense.

"Have you ever thought about kids, Shepard?" Slowly, she began to walk away following the shoreline.

"I thought about it. Probably not for a long time." Quietly they walked the began to walk as Kaidan took her hand in his. Stopping, he tugged at her.

"I... hope you will think about it. The future, I mean. A home, a husband... children." Gently he held her hand between his as he raised them to his chest. Pressing her hand against his heart, he gazed into her eyes.

"Think about me, in your future." Shepard gasped. Kaidan's words surprised her. She hadn't thought of him as a husband, let alone her husband. He never told her he loved her. Yet, here he was, asking her to consider him in her future. Pressing her hand against his armor, Shepard searched his face.

"What are you saying Kaidan?" Looking down at their hands, he sighed.

"You're the one Shepard. The one who I..." Slowly he looked into her eyes. Shepard watched him, not knowing what he was saying.

"The one, what?" Frustrated, he groaned as he kissed her hand before squeezing her fingers.

"I'm not good at this. All I'm saying is, think about it. A future, for me and... you." Shepard's heart seemed to have stopped then thundered back on, the sound deafening her. She tried to think of something to say. Looking away, she could feel her chest tighten. Suddenly she wanted to run, far, far away and not come back. Glancing back at Kaidan, his eyes pleaded with her. His face was soft and tender as a small frown crinkled his brow.

"Shepard, I..." Afraid of what he was going to say, she interrupted...

"Kaidan... I... you never..." Shepard was lost for words. She didn't know what to say, no one ever told her to think of him as her future husband and father of her children. Kaidan stepped closer, his hand cupped her face.

"Just think about it. Okay?" Shepard breathed deeply as she nodded.

"Of course. We should be getting back. They're probably looking for us." Smiling, Kaidan laughed. Taking her hand, they walked back toward the street.

With a quick click, she deleted the message. Turning off the terminal, she pulled Thane's arms tighter around her but his arms felt heavy. Glancing at his face, she could see despair filling his eyes. He read the message. His somber eyes appeared down case, heavy with emotion. Quickly she turned, cupping his face as she began to panic. No, don't do this. With soft fingers she stroked his cheeks and neck as she searched his eyes. Gently he pulled her hands away from him. Unwilling to let him go, she clutched his hand, pulling him to her. Hanging his head he backed away from her.

"Talk to me." She pleaded. Standing against the wall, Thane crossed his arms and breathing deeply. Shepard stared at him, unable to breathe. Her chest tightened with each breathe she took. She couldn't bear being away from him. Stepping in front of him, she tried to raise his chin to look at her. Only to have him look away. Grabbing his shoulders, she softly shook him.

"Thane. Talk to me. Please." Her voice desperate. He was leaving her world and she couldn't stand it. Closing his eyes, he moistened his lips before speaking.

"It occurs to be that I might not be the foremost in your mind." Shepard shook her head as she grasped his hand, holding it to her face. A frustrated breathe escaped her.

"You have no idea what you mean to me do you?" Softly he cupped her face as he rested his forehead against hers. His voice thick with despair.

"When no one else competes for your eyes, I will be here." Kissing her forehead, he turned to leave. Shepard grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Don't do this. That message meant nothing. Kaidan means nothing to me. You... you are my... everything. If you leave, my soul will die." Sluggishly she was able to pull him to her. Cupping his cheek, she tried to make him look at her.

"Damn it, look at me!" Glancing at her, he stopped attempting to flee.

"Earlier I should have told you what I felt... but I was afraid. I was afraid you would leave. I was afraid that you didn't.. feel the way I do." Shepard's voice cracked as tears filled her eyes.

"You are the sweetness in the air I breathe, you are the melody to my song, the warmth in my sunshine. I don't want to do this without you." Slowly Thane turned to her, gazing into her eyes.

"He wants to begin again. He wants you... Shepard." Searching his face, Shepard ruefully laughed.

"I don't care. I want you. I chose you. Do hear me? I. Chose. You." Closing the distance between them, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders pulling him to her. Burying her face in his neck, she breathed in the soft scent of him.

"I have a confession." She whispered, her voice rough. Resting his head on her shoulder, Thane breathed deeply.

"I will listen." Wrapping her arms around his waist, Shepard pressed herself against him stroking his neck and shoulders.

"I love you." She whispered. She could feel Thane stiffen against her. Pulling away, she looked into his eyes.

"I love you, Thane Krios." Frowning he searched her face as he tried to speak.

"Say it again." He whispered. Laughing, Shepard kissed his chin, lips, jaw and cheeks.

"I love you. I loved since that first day on Ilium. I think I loved you before then. When it was just the promise of you. I will spend the rest of my days loving you." Touching her face, Thane closed his eyes as he hung his head. Please let him believe me. Silence hung between them. Softly he stroked her cheek, his touch electrifying.

"I love you." He whispered. Peeking at him, Shepard searched his face.

"Say it again." Looking into her eyes, he smiled.

"I love you, Siha." Shepard softly laughed as tears rained down her face. Shaking her head, she cupped his face.

"Don't you ever..." Thane interrupted. "I won't. For as long as I live." Quickly she wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight against her as she buried her face in his neck. Pressing her against him, Thane buried his face in her hair as stroked her back.

"I'm sorry Siha. I shouldn't..." Shepard kissed his lips silencing him.