A/N: Just ten more to go from here!


Theme #14: Christmas

Word Count: 250

World: Alternate Universe

Genre(s): Family

Rating: K+

Warning(s): None

Their fake, fir green Christmas tree is just as good as a real one. Once-ler is glad to have it, even if the process of picking it out was less than ideal. As soon as the kids discovered that fake Christmas trees could come in different colors besides the normal, 'boring' green, they all had brand new ideas about what kind of Christmas tree they should have.

Gene wanted a black Christmas tree with skull ornaments. He's going through one of those 'phases'.

Tobias wanted to go with red, like the color of cardinals. He's quickly becoming obsessed with that bird book Audrey had bought him for his birthday.

Amelia wanted purple, because in her own words, 'purple is the best color in the whole wide world and way better than dumb old red, Tobias.'

They're still arguing about it the next day when the family was decorating the tree. Despite Once-ler's best attempts at intervention, they still wound up with mostly black, red and purple baubles on the tree. On Christmas day all the presents are wrapped in black, red or purple paper, colors Once-ler is positive neither he nor Audrey ever bought.

"Do you think they'll grow out of this?" Once-ler asks his wife as he holds up the purple blob of clay Amelia made him (it's a paperweight, she says).

"Probably," Audrey says while trying on the lopsided red mittens from Tobias. "And you know, I did kind of like that blue tree in the catalog."


Theme #81: Capital

Word Count: 306

World: Alternate Universe

Genre(s): Drama, Angst

Rating: K+

Warning(s): None

"So, how much money did you make last month?" she calls out to him from across the street. "Must have been a bundle, since you have that shiny new car."

Once-ler frowns. It's not like he wanted to run into her in the middle of the city in the dead of night when he just wanted to take a leisurely drive around the block. He's not going to just follow her home from her new job every night to make sure nothing happens to her because there was this news report a week ago about a rash of muggings in the area and she just has to walk home by herself. That would be a waste of his time, not to mention creepy.

"I don't tend to keep count anymore," he yells back. "It's hard when you're rolling in as much as I am."

She cringes at his words, like he knew she would. It gives him great satisfaction for five wonderful seconds before he comes off his high and starts wanting to punch himself in the face several times instead.

"Well I hope you spend it all on someone very special," she answers, and then she turns the corner in a direction he knows for a fact is not hers, just so she can get away from him.

Fine, he thinks, let her get lost.

"I will! I'm going to buy myself a nice long vacation in big wooded area ALL ALONE!"

He starts up the engine and drives a million miles an hour straight ahead. On the next block he makes a sharp turn and stays in one place until he sees her bright red head again. She stops and then starts off in the proper direction as soon as she thinks he's gone and Once-ler would be relieved if he deserved to be.


Theme #55: Woman

Word Count: 390

World: Alternate Universe

Genre(s): Family, Romance

Rating: K+

Warning(s): None.

Tobias came home from school one day looking more flustered and nervous than Once-ler had ever seen him before. Not that his second son wasn't always a sensitive child, this just seemed different somehow. Once-ler couldn't pinpoint why. Talking to Audrey only got him directions to Tobias's bedroom door, where Once-ler now knocked twice before letting himself in.

He found the five year old at his little wooden desk. His crayon box was open and all the colors arranged alphabetically. Ever since he learned his ABCs, Tobias had been re-arranging everything he owned, from crayons to action figures to pairs of socks.

"What are you drawing?" Once-ler asked. He stood over his son, bending his long body as far as he could to see. The one time he tried sitting in one of those little kiddie chairs he had a backache for a week after AND he had to build Tobias a new chair.

"A valentine," said Tobias.

"A valentine? In September?"

"It's for someone special," was the response.

"Oh," Once-ler said as comprehension dawned. "So it's a girl, huh?"

Tobias shrunk slightly into himself, grumbling unintelligible words.

"She must be something else if you're going to all this trouble," Once-ler said. "Oh how my boy grows into a man. Pretty soon you'll be dating and getting married and having some kids of your own."

Tobias grumbled some more, even softer now.

"So what's her name?"

Considering all the answers he'd gotten up until now, he really shouldn't have been surprised when this one came out just as jumbled as the rest.

"Sorry, speak up please?"

Tobias sighed and put down the crayon. He raised his beet red face and spoke in clear tones.

"It's for my teacher, Ms. Anderson."

The bottom immediately dropped out of Once-ler's stomach, only for him to recover a moment later with a laugh and a ruffle of Tobias's hair.

"Haha, that's great son. I remember my first crush on a teacher-"

"She's not just a teacher, she's beautiful, intelligent and sofi- sofi-"

"Sophisticated?" Once-ler supplied.

"Yeah, that! She gives us homemade cookies at snack time and if we're good all week, she lets us watch a movie on Fridays!"

"Sounds like the perfect woman," Once-ler said.

Tobias smiled, dreamily gazing out the window and thinking about her.

"She sure is, Dad, she sure is."


Theme #96: Forever

Word Count: 228

World: Alternate Universe

Genre(s): Romance, Humor

Rating: K

Warning(s): None

It's such a cliched idea for a wedding vow, isn't it?

Once-ler chews on the pen cap with his front teeth. His once clean piece of notebook paper is now a mess of wrinkles and scribbled out words. The one part that hasn't been touched sits on the top line, mocking him with it's mere existence.

"I will love you…" Once-ler read aloud. "Come on, there has got to be a better word."

He consults his nearby pocket thesaurus for the fourth time.

"I will love you… endlessly? No, that doesn't fit."

"I will love you… eternally? Too cheesy."

"I will love you… permanently? What?"

"I will love you… for life? Sounds too redundant."

"I will love you… enduringly? Oh, that's even worse than permanently."

Once-ler throws it aside, along with the paper he unceremoniously rips it off the notebook. A new, spotless page sits before him like a new promise. Once-ler lets out a long stream of air he never should have been holding in. Why didn't he start over ages ago?

"Okay, let's try this."

Once-ler starts writing, gets two lines down before hitting a brick wall and stopping. He reads over his work, stopping at the last, unfinished sentence.

"Audrey, you are the light of my life and the sun in my sky. I promise to love you and be by your side… oh crap."


Theme #16: Wild

Word Count: 338

World: Alternate Universe

Genre(s): Romance, Humor

Rating: K+

Warning(s): None.

The truffula forest is usually a very quiet place. The keyword being 'usually.'

Every now and then, their quaint existence is interrupted, either by nosy developers or the occasional tourist. As Audrey soon finds out, Once-ler has a pretty good method of dealing with the latter.

"You see this bottle?" he asks the big nosed, Hawaiian shirt wearing tourist as he towers a good two feet over him with a bunched up heap of plastic in his hand. "You threw this empty water bottle into the river! A fish almost choked on it, and you know what? They all come to me to deal with it!"

"The fish… come to you?" The tourist takes a step back,

"This is the wilderness, pal! I'm just trying to protect you from it's wrath. There are plenty of garbage cans around, so throw it in there. If you don't, I won't sleep at night because they'll be bugging me, and also the entire ecosystem will probably be destroyed. All because you couldn't dispose of your disposable plastic in the right place. You want that on your conscience?"

The tourist glances her way, but Audrey has nothing to say to him. The fish and the swomee-swans have all gathered together as well, watching with baited breath as Once-ler places the bottle back in the tourist's waiting hands and waves him off to do his civic duty.

"Okay, fine," says the tourist. "Whatever you say, fish-whisperer."

Audrey sighs, doubting that he's actually learned anything from this, even as he deposits his trash in the proper receptacle and goes on his merry way. At least the animals are happy.

"Enough, would you?" Once-ler snaps when some cheering swomee-swans start doing some kind of mid-air dance over his head. "Don't move your wings like that! It's unnatural. Let me go work in peace."

The next 'thank you' he gets comes from Audrey herself, and since it primarily involves her launching herself in his arms and kissing him breathless, she doesn't think he'll be complaining.


Theme #46: Police

Word Count: 176

World: Alternate Universe

Genre(s): Humor, Adventure

Rating: K+

Warning(s): None

Once-ler and Audrey are on the ground with their hands over their heads. Once-ler also keeps close to Audrey in case he needs to shield her from a spray of bullets with his body. It's not a very nice thought, dying. Knowing that she would live is comforting, but he'd still much rather be alive than dead. Call him selfish.

The hostage takers have been screaming back and forth with the cops for the past ten minutes. Once-ler thinks he saw a movie like this once, and if he ever remembers what it is, he'll have to burn their copy. That, or start using it as a coaster. Hollywood makes this look a lot more glamorous than it is.

The situation goes on to rectify itself when the cops talk the robbers down and subdue them. As they and their fellow hostages walk out of the bank alive and happy, Audrey turns to him. She's shaking even worse than he is, and yet she smiles.

"Well, this'll be a fun story to tell our kids someday."


Theme #21: Grow

Word Count: 308

World: Alternate Universe

Genre(s): Family, Romance, Humor

Rating: K

Warning(s): None

"Happy birthday, Amelia!"

The family cheered as Amelia blew out her candles, saving the big polka dotted 5 candle for last. Her cake was a chocolate monstrosity Once-ler picked up from the local bakery this morning. He would've baked one himself, but in between making all her favorites for breakfast, lunch and dinner, cake was kind of left on the back burner.

She didn't even care. Cake was cake to a child whether made by the loving hands of a parent or the professional ones of a surly baker at the supermarket. She ate two whole pieces by herself. A third one was taken from her prematurely by Audrey. She'd be up all night with a stomachache if she had anymore, Audrey said.

"Aw, Mom," Amelia moaned.

She forgot all about it when Once-ler led Melvin into the yard. In his cart was a mountain of presents wrapped in various shades of purple paper. Amelia squealed with delight, pouncing on the first package like a lion on an antelope. Once-ler and Audrey looked on as the pile of discarded wrapping paper grew and enough toys and clothes for ten little girls were revealed to the excited birthday girl.

"Can you believe she's already five years old?" Audrey asked.

"Not always," Once-ler said. He smiled warmly at his daughter. "Time sure does fly."

"It feels like only yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital, and now she's going to be starting school and everything."

Audrey inched closer to her husband, letting him run fingers through her hair that was still as red as the day they met, more than a decade ago.

"Before we know it, she'll be a teenager starting high school."

Once-ler chuckled. "Yeah, I know."

"And then she'll be in college, living on her own…"

"Yeah."

"Finding a nice guy and getting married…"

"Ye-what?"


Theme #86: East

Word Count: 545

World: Alternate Universe

Genre(s): Romance, Humor, Adventure

Rating: K

Warning(s): None

It started with a picnic.

It was Once-ler's idea. Audrey had had a really stressful week at the park and loving you job can only take you so far under pressure. Once-ler didn't to say it was all the fault of those kids making noise and throwing their garbage everywhere, but frankly, he blamed them entirely.

They made it pat the salad and watercress sandwiches Once-ler prepared for appetizers, and still she was as despondent as ever. Once-ler didn't even want to bring out the main course.

"Come on, Audrey, it's over now," he said. In retrospect, maybe he could've started conversation with something a little gentler, but he didn't know that yet. "You have a whole week of vacation time now. You can relax and forget all about those dumb tourists making a mess of things."

"Yeah, and then I get to go back next week and deal with them all over again," she said bitterly.

Once-ler wished he could argue with that. Instead, he retreated to his fantasies of creating some sort of tourist eliminating (or re-educating) thneed for her. He wasn't much of a scientist, but he was pretty sure that went beyond most human capabilities. What a shame.

He'd just have to cheer her up the old fashioned way. The next time they spoke, he was behind her, rubbing circles into her neck and shoulder blades. She tried at first to shake him off, but gradually melted into his touch. Once-ler smirked. He knew she would like this. She had to, she was the one who taught him.

"This is a beautiful place," he whispered in her ear. "Full of singing fish and multicolor trees and I have the most beautiful girl in the world to share it with."

"Oh, stop it," she said playfully.

"And there is nothing in the world that can stop us from enjoying this day. Not tourists or littler or anything else," he moved his arms to wrap around her waist, burying his nose in her sweet smelling hair. It was all really quite picturesque and romantic. Right up until a flock of squawking swomee-swans collided with them.

Once-ler didn't know what was happening at first. Their honking and Audrey's yelp as she was also tackled took up all the focus he could've been using to figure out what was up. When his vision cleared of their sun yellow feathers, Once-ler could finally react accordingly.

"Okay, I don't know when it was established that bothering us during dates was acceptable, but I know I wasn't at that meeting. So if you could just-"

The swomee-swans paid his complaints no mind. One of them started tugging at him with their wings, while another went for Audrey.

"Hey- what-"

"I think they want as to follow them," said Audrey.

The two of them were dragged all the way to the riverbank, where the water started to get choppy. Just the sight of it was chilling to Once-ler. Up in the trees and on the ledges were another bunch of swans, all flapping around and screeching just like their friends.

"So what are we here for?" Once-ler asked.

His question was answered with when Audrey's scream alerted him to the nest of swomee-swan eggs floating away to the east.


Theme #24: World

Word Count: 626

World: Canon Universe

Genre(s): Friendship

Rating: K

Warning(s): None

"Mr Once-ler, can we talk?"

Once-ler didn't feel so comfortable sitting beside her anymore. Not that he did even before she asked him that. His tea was getting cold in his shaking hands, so he set it down and watched the remaining weak wisps of steam lift into the air and vanish.

"Mr. Once-ler?"

Once-ler sighed.

"Not going to shake you off, am I?"

Audrey smiled slightly. "I just want to ask you about the other night."

Once-ler closed his eyes. If he were alone and several decades younger, he'd go and smack his head against the wall a few times instead. It's much more expressive.

'So it was you,' he thought to himself. 'You were the one there that night. Can't say I'm surprised…'

"Well first of all, what were you doing out so late?"

It came out biting, and Audrey felt it. Maybe that would finally get her off his back. Who wants to deal with grumpy old people anyway? Not everybody was Ted.

"That's exactly what my Dad would say if he caught me," she said.

"If I were your Dad, I'd be too busy grounding you forever. It's dangerous, going out at night alone."

She gave him a knowing look, and Once-ler could read the meaning behind it like a book.

'What's your excuse?'

Once-ler shook his head. "Okay, so you know it was me and I know it was you. Can we drop it now?"

"No," Audrey said bluntly.

"You're really pushing your luck here, kid."

This time her smile was full and complete, and even as irritated as Once-ler was, he had to admit there was something calming about her face.

"I'm glad that you came," she said, shifting closer. "I didn't think you ever would."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because it's not right for you to be all alone out here."

Once-ler snorted humorlessly. "Did you forget everything I've done? That giant desert out there is all my fault, you know. Quite frankly, I'm surprised you don't hate my guts, being a nature lover and all."

Audrey's eyes became downcast. Okay now that had to have done it. Now she would realize what a horrible person he was and want nothing more to do with him, and leave him alone with the few people he'd chosen to let in, none of them being her, and he'd be at peace to remain in hiding forever.

Wouldn't that be… nice…

"I know what you've done," Audrey said softly. She lifted her head, and in her eyes was not a trace of the loathing Once-ler expected. "I hate what you've done, I really do, but I don't hate you, Mr. Once-ler. Because I've seen you, and I don't think you're as bad a person as you say you are."

Once-ler started to speak, but Audrey shook her head.

"Let me finish. The reason I came here today was because I want to thank you. You made a terrible mistake, and you ran from it for years by keeping yourself locked up, but then you stopped running, and now we have a chance to bring this place back to life. We couldn't have done it without you, Mr. Once-ler."

Audrey got up and walked to the window. The ratty old curtain that hadn't been replaced yet came down for good with a tug of her hand. Natural light filtered into the room, putting all of Once-ler's oil lamps to shame.

"There's a great big world out there that all of us have missed," she said. "It's not fair if we can't explore it together."

Audrey held out her hand, inviting and welcoming and forgiving and terrifying to him all at one time, and still, she smiled.

"Will you come too?"


Theme #87: Tropical

Word Count: 326

World: Alternate Universe

Genre(s): Romance

Rating: K+

Warning(s): None

Once-ler stretched out, resting his head on his hands and letting the warm sunlight bathe him in it's glow. It was a beautiful day for beachgoers such as him and his wife. Those who didn't take to sunbathing played in the water without a care in the world. They swam, surfed, water-skied, whatever caught their fancy. A couple of kids with buckets full of sand ran by. One of them waved at Once-ler and he waved back.

Really, there was only one thing that could take this nearly perfect moment and catapult it over the top, and that was that Audrey could enjoy herself half as much as he did.

Or at all.

"Do you think we should call home?"

She had her hand on Once-ler's chest and she looked at him with all the fear and concern that she should not be having right now. Once-ler groaned.

"Audrey, you called home ten minutes ago. The kids are fine. Now would you please relax?"

"But what if something's happened?" Audrey persisted. "It only takes one second, one second for my parents to look away and then Gene could be in a tree or Tobias in the river or-"

"Truffula trees don't have branches, Audrey," he said over her. "And Tobias would sooner stick his hand in the fireplace then go near any large body of water. Now I'll say it one more time: re-lax."

Audrey scowled and looked away. "Well forgive me for being a little nervous. This is the first time we've left the kids home for a vacation, and I know it's for our anniversary and I promised this weekend would be about us and not the kids, but I just can't-"

Once-ler never found out what it was Audrey couldn't do. He chose that moment to drag her lips to his and silence any and all of her complaints once and for all.

The rest of the weekend went quite smoothly from there.