Chibiyu: This is a long inspiration streak…and it all started with the idea of Nick being chained to a wall.
Nick: You got all of this from that?!?!?!?!
Chibiyu: I had to lead up to it somehow. And explanation for ya here. Last chapter, Nick's thoughts were incoherent on purpose to show you all without saying that Nick was going insane. That his thoughts were getting jumbled and messed up. That he was almost/kinda losing touch with reality.
Nick:…
STILL DON'T OWN JONAS…The Jonas Brother's are rejoicing.
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I felt him touch my shoulder and I forced my eyes open and blinked away the tears. I slapped his hand away and he pulled back and out of my reach quickly. The look on my face must have been terrifying and I saw it in reflected in his eyes. Demons in my orbs partied amongst the shatter soul and fueled my rage by burning love and joy. That is what I saw.
I pulled hard at my chains, yelling how I wanted to rip his head off and kill him and eat his heart so he would stay dead. I pulled harder until my wrists and arms were cracking but I didn't stop. I screamed a wordless nothing and tried to get to Kevin, to get it to end.
And then Kevin was pulled from the room.
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JOE'S POV
I didn't like being alone in this room. When Kevin left with Tyrone to talk to Nick, everything seemed…different. The vibe coming from the walls gave me the chills and I was completely relieved when Kevin walked in and distracted me from it. But Kevin looked scared and sad. And I didn't miss the new bruises around his neck.
"What happened?" I asked, knowing already more than I wanted.
"Nick happened."
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NICK'S POV
To say I calmed after Kevin left would be a lie. To say my struggling ripped all the skin from my wrists and I was forced to be sedated would be true. I woke with the same amount of anger and hatred but I didn't show it. I looked to my wrists and found they were wound in a tough and tight bandage. But I didn't care. It was only so I didn't chop off my own hands and escape. Which I had thought of doing. Because with or without hands, I would kill them.
The door opened again and I looked up, acting like I was normal and not mad. Tyrone walked in and sat within my grasp but I didn't move. I just looked at him with wide eyes.
"You've been a bad boy Nicholas." Tyrone stated and I didn't bother to nod. "But I want you to know, if Joseph or Kevin steps out of line while here, you can take them out." To say I smiled would be an understatement. I beamed and Tyrone laughed lightly and clapped my shoulder. I could have done without the physical contact. "But you still were bad." He whispered and I blinked once, the only sign I gave that I heard him.
I don't like where this is going. Kevin told me but I ignored him and told him to shut up.
"I need one simple answer you won't be punished or hurt for. That is your punishment, one truthful answer." Tyrone gently told me and I nodded, knowing what would be asked. "Do you remember?"
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LEXI'S POV
For whatever reason, I was now sitting across from Joe and Kevin in the back room, eyeing my nails and ignoring them. Why were they here? I thought Nick would have killed them by now. I actually kinda hoped for it so this whole thing would be over and I could be left alone.
"What do you know about Nick?" Joe tentatively asked and I looked up to them and smiled.
"It's not my place to tell you. It's Nick's. Granted, if he doesn't kill you first." I added, eyeing Kevin's neck with a smirk. "Yes I do know a thing or two about your brother, don't ask me how, but I will not tell you."
Kevin sighed and nodded, hand going to hair. "Then who are you?"
I shifted and put my feet on the table. "Such a vast question, is it not? I am not normal if that's what you want to know. I am on no side but my own. And I yearn for the feel of Tyrone's blood on my hands…"They did not like that. They shifted and averted their eyes and I laughed lightly. So easily were they disgusted. "You don't understand. You haven't been here long enough too. When he gets his hold on you…only then will you know the feeling."
Joe looked up suddenly. "Is that why Nick is so…changed?"
I smiled. No Joe. It is far from that.
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NICK'S POV
I starred at Tyrone, contemplating and he gave me time.
Don't tell him.
He will kill you.
Shut up. Death is better than living.
But death before you finished your goal?
Don't tell him the truth. We forbid it.
That did it. No one orders me around any more, not even them.
"I remember." I told him and he stiffened. "But I don't care for the past. They ruined my life and I want them dead."
Tyrone suddenly smiled. "And they soon will be. But tell me, how did they ruin your life?"
I smirked. "One question per punishment."
Tyrone darkened at my answer and stood, leaving me alone in this pitch black prison. But I wasn't alone…and I wished I was.
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KEVIN'S POV
Why were we with this girl? What was the purpose of letting her talk to us? Why was I allowed to talk to Nick?
But I had a theory about Nick. One Joe didn't get to hear all of because I was taken before I could finish. I don't care if the girl heard this, she probably knew.
"Joe…I have a theory about Nick…" I started slowly and he instantly turned to me and the girl looked bored again. "I think Nick remembers us." I started and Joe nodded his eyes wide. "But I think because he does…that did this to him."
"You see, I think all of the pain and guilt of him 'killing' us made his mind kind of…I don't know, snap. I don't know why but when I was talking to him, he kept looking at nothing and he blew up a nothing and screamed at you like you were there." I paused and Joe bit his lip, looking concerned. "I think Nick's mind made up you and me…but in a sick way that it portrayed his guilt and heartbreak for 'killing' us." I stopped and looked to the girl who was eyeing me curiously.
"So Nick…he forgot he made up another us…didn't he?" Joe asked, catching on and I nodded. "So if 'we' were portraying Nick's dark feelings, 'we' must have been ridiculing him and insulting him until his pain became too much and it…"
"Drove him over the edge." The girl finished, nodding. "Impressive. That is exactly what happened. But in detail…anyone could see why he went mad."
I turned to her again. "Why does he want us dead though?"
She roller her eyes, like the answer was painfully obvious. "Think. He thinks the 'Joe' and 'Kevin' he created are real and depict your 'inner and real' feelings for him. He thinks that if he kills you…"
"It will all go away." Joe finished and Lexi nodded. "How do you know?"
"I'm special." She whispered and we had no doubt she was.
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NICK'S POV
I wonder if singing would make this place seem humane. But I haven't found the want to even think of music for days and I don't want to start now. I don't want another bridge to my past. I want to start anew, without Joe and Kevin there to ruin it.
The door opened one more time and the light flashed on. I hissed again and clenched my eyes closed, my retina searing. I hated it when they did that. But I know who was here. And I knew I would hate it to see him go…alive.
"Nick?" He softly called but it was still too bright to open my eyes. And no way in Hell was I talking to this ass.
If you won't talk to him…then you will be following our orders…Kevin sneered and I growled.
Reverse Psyche? That wouldn't work on me. I will talk it I want to and not when you tell me. I am my own freaking person and all your orders have done is ruined my life. I am done listening to you both. Done!
Through my eyelids, I saw the lights dim and I could finally open my eyes and look at the face I wanted to see in a casket. Joe looked at me softly with slight fear, like he was unsure what to do or say. It made sense though. Never once has he had to confront a brother who was chained to a wall and was insane. Yes I knew I was insane. But it didn't stop me. Nothing would ever stop me until they were dead. Dead by my hand. I wanted to feel their still hearts with my fingers, see the light leave their eyes and hear the blessed silence their passing would bring. Yes I was insane. But for a reason.
"Nick…I know…you don't have to hide it or be afraid. I know you know me." Joe stated and my head shot up to met him, surprise dulling the anger. Tyrone wouldn't have told them so they must have…Lexi…I am going to murder you in cold blood for telling them. Then you can be insane with your dead sister.
"I don't know you." I snarled but Joe smiled kindly.
"You do. Don't hide it; you never could lie to Kevin and me anyway." I looked down, not ashamed but thinking fast.
"What if I don't want to know you?" I fired back, looking up again without raising my head. "What if I don't give a damn about the past? What of I just want you gone and dead?!?!" I finished in a yell and Joe was no longer smiling. He looked at me sadly and I knew he wanted to hug me, but I also knew he was afraid to do so. And rightly so. If he came within my grasp I would break his neck.
"Nick…we don't hate you." He tried but I knew better. I heard his heart insult me daily. "We love you Nick and we want you back to normal. We don't blame you, you didn't remember us then. But this is unacceptable. Please Nick…just listen to me." I looked to my wrists and scratched the bandages, wondering if it was still too late to hack of my hands.
I tuned him out completely, not caring anymore. It was all lies any way. I knew the truth and I didn't care for what Joseph had to say.
You don't care for the lies? Well how about the truth? Joe whispered and again I covered my ears but I still heard him. I think you are waste of space. You disgust me more than dirty diapers. I don't understand how something so pathetic, spineless and disturbing could ever be my brother.
Stop it.
I don't know why I encourage him with his stupid dream of JONAS and his terrible songs. I don't know why I was there for him when he needed me. Oh wait…yes I do. It was so his blubbering didn't ruin my reputation.
Shut up now or I swear I am going to hurt you until you are begging for death.
So annoying and dry. So boring and weak. So unwanted. Guess what Nicky…
No. stop it. I'm warning you.
I hate you.
Shut up. NOW!
I hate you so much…why won't you just die so I won't have to look at you anymore? So you don't disgrace his family again?
I growled lowly and Joe stopped talking and eyed me warily. I had heard nothing of the lies his mouth spawned, only the truth of his heart. And I wanted him to pay.
"Nick? What did I say?" He asked, clueless.
"It's not what you said, but what you thought. I know Joseph. I know how you really feel and guess what? I hate you too." Joe stopped and starred.
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JOE'S POV
Throughout all of my explanation, I had been curious if Nick was listening to me and now I knew he had not been. I saw the way his eyes darkened and turned slightly demonic looking. I saw the way he glared to his hands. I saw the way he was glaring at me now. But what was he talking about? I didn't hate him. I loved him! Even if he was this insane wreck!
"Nick, get it through your head and ignore whatever you think I am telling you."I told him and he snarled at the order but said nothing. "I don't hate you. I love you." He stiffened and I saw his brain working. He slowly looked back up to me, his eyes soft and tearing. He was shaking slightly and I was startled by the sudden change. But maybe he only needed to hear the truth instead of the lies he had been giving himself
"Joe…" He whispered, almost longingly but I heard the fear. The fear of how I would react and of what he had done. I smiled small and scooted forward, hugging him gently. Instantly the doors slammed open and I was pulled from Nick and only then did I realize his hands at my throat. Nick's scream of frustration filled my ears.
Tyrone stormed through the door and I dared looked at my brother, his eyes deranged again. It had been an act to kill me…and it almost worked. Tyrone reached Nick and slapped hi hard across the face but Nick just growled and grabbed his wrist, pulling him down.
"Let me do it." He ordered coldly.
"No. It is not time." Tyrone answered and Nick suddenly smiled, it making him look more like a monster than human.
"If I can't do it to them…THEN I WILL YOU!" He jumped forward, onto of kneeling Tyrone, his hands on his throat, holding tight. And he didn't let go. Not for the kicks or punches of the pulls of others. He only smiled and laughed and held on, letting loose all chaos. I watched Tyrone turned red and his lips blue. And then someone bolted pass me and shoved a needle in Nick's arm. Nick screamed but didn't let go.
I watched the same guy who injected Nick with something gang up on him with the others and they finally pulled him off, the drug starting to take effect. Nick slumped against the wall, panting, his eyes unfocused but the glare was still there. And it was on me as I stood in shock.
"I hate you." Nick whispered.
And then he passed out.
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KEVIN'S POV
Joe stumbled back into the room, pale and shaking and I instantly pulled him to sit and in a hug.
"What did Nick do?"
Joe took a long and deep breath, trying to calm himself. "He…He tricked me by acting like he was sorry and they came just before he got his hands on my neck. He attacked Tyrone and almost killed him right before my eyes…they…they had to sedate him…I didn't th-think it would be this b-bad." Joe stuttered and I nodded.
"But is there still hope for him?" I asked Joe.
And Joe shook his head.
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Chibiyu: Can you blame Joe? I can't. Wow I wrote three chapters in one day (5/2/10). Go inspiration! Until Next update!
