Chapter 9.


It was time to move on. Once and for all. I mean, she'd done if before, she could do it again. Easy. All she had to do was be happy with Ryan. She could do that, right? I mean Ryan was...nice, and sweet and funny and...maybe a little annoying at times, but he was...great. And she loved him, she did. And Penn was her past, there was no future there it was just her getting a little carried away.

Blake had been at this for hours; trying to convince herself Penn wasn't right for her and Ryan was. She had to admit it was difficult, but she was getting there. Slowly.

It had been 4 days since she'd last seen Penn. And each day got a little better; gradually she started to laugh a little more at Ryan's jokes; she'd find it easier to feel content in his arms; she'd look in his eyes and see someone who loved her. But there was one thing she couldn't shake, and that was Penn's face every time she went to go to sleep.

Blake lay in bed trying to discard the images of Penn from her mind as she heard the door unlock downstairs. After a few minutes she heard Ryan's footsteps on the stairs, each got louder as he got closer to their room.

"Hey." He peeped his head round the door as he pushed it open.

"Hi" Blake smiled shyly.

"I'll go to the bathroom and then come to bed, okay?" Blake nodded as she wrapped the duvet around her tighter, the draft from the door made her shiver.

About 10 minutes later Ryan climbed into bed behind Blake and kissed her ear.

"Hey." She fidgeted out of his embrace as she turned to face him.

"How was your evening?" Blake was totally uninterested but right now she was desperate for anything to get her mind off Penn.

"Good. Good. We had a great time. You get up to much?" Blake shifted slightly in her spot.

"Umm no nothing, pretty boring." She still hadn't told Ryan that she'd been to visit Penn after his accident; and as far as Ryan was concerned they hadn't seen each other in almost 2 years. She was actually pretty impressed he hadn't found out. "Hey, I'm sorry I missed our dinner though." Blake genuinely felt bad for dropping everything to go after Penn; but at the time she felt like she had no choice. Blake rubbed his arm up and down as she apologised.

"Yeah well I was little pissed." Blake no longer felt guilty. "What happened with your friend anyway? Katie was it?"

"Yeah, Kate…yeah she umm she broke up with her boyfriend."

"Oh. Wait I thought they broke up months ago?" Blake wanted to smack herself for being so stupid. She looked down to buy herself some time.

"Yeah. No she umm…they got back together a few days ago but it didn't work out."

"Huh, I'm not surprised I didn't get why they were together in the first place he was such a jerk." Blake felt a little angry at Ryan's comment. She thought Katie's ex was a really great guy. He actually kinda reminded her of Penn, they were both very musically gifted.

"You didn't like him?" Blake was curious.

"Nah I mean he was just...I dunno weird. I guess I just find it weird guys who sing as like a hobby. If they're a musician, professionally; fine. But otherwise, I dunno just guys singing, I've always thought of it as a bit gay." Wow. How rude was he? Blake was a bit startled. She couldn't speak for all guy musicians, but Penn certainly wasn't gay.

"Well I liked him."

"I bet you did! He looks a lot like me." Ryan sniggered as he winked at her. Blake laughed at his comment, if only he knew the real reason she liked him. "Okay, but I wanna make it up to you for missing dinner the other night, so let's do it tomorrow night instead, what do you say?" A cheeky grin appeared across Blake's face. She was already starting to feel a bit happier and she was glad she felt she had a decent chance at moving on.


It was 9 am and Blake tentatively walked down the wooden staircase into the living room where she saw Ryan eating toast with his feet up. The day before she had decided on telling Ryan that she had visited Penn when he was in hospital; but she wasn't going to tell him about the kiss. No way. He may eventually forgive her for visiting her ex in hospital; but kissing him. Definitely not. Ryan had always been so untrusting of her around Penn; maybe now she could see why. But it still didn't really give him a reason too; it wasn't like they'd been having sex between takes on set or something. It was a one off kiss because she thought he had died. Fair enough right? Yeah fair enough if that was it; Blake thought to herself.

"Hey, Ryan?" She spoke timidly as she reached the bottom of the stairs. "Can we talk for a sec?"

"Sure, babe. What's up?" He patted the on the space next to him on the couch. She sat in it as she nervously fiddled with her hair.

"Umm I just wanted to tell you something. I uhh…well I'm guessing you heard about Penn's accident on the news a few weeks ago?" Ryan squinted his eyes as his fingers twitched. He hated how she still called him 'Penn' like they were close enough that he didn't need a last name. And besides just hearing that name made him flinch with anger.

"Uhh yeah I heard about it..." Ryan attempted to seem disinterested as he picked up a second slice of toast.

"Well I umm, I went to visit him when he was in hospital." Blake couldn't bare look at him as she spoke.

"You what?!" Ryan's voice shook from the anger boiling inside of him.

"Yeah look I'm sorry I didn't tell you I just didn't think it was that important!" Blake tried to calm him down by lying to him. Ryan was seething and she could tell. She hoped she wouldn't regret telling him. "I'm sorry, baby." She put her hand on his arm and began to rub it as he shook it off.

"I just can't believe you went to go see your ex behind my back!"

"I know. But it's not like anything happened! I mean he was in a coma Ryan, I just sat there." Ryan shook his head.

"That doesn't make things better, Blake." Blake looked down as his hard stare remained focused on her head. "You know what, I need some space I'm going for a run." He jogged up the stairs, leaving his half eaten piece of toast on the couch. Blake sat; still. She felt awful but at the same time felt like Ryan was being totally unreasonable.


A few days later, Ryan and Blake sat at a table snuck in the corner of a restaurant. There was a window to the side of the table which had an amazing view of the garden outside; there was a selection of many different flowers which led the eyes towards a beautifully lit stream at the end of the garden. It was such a lovely place; it was one of Blake's favourite restaurants; which was why she suggested it.

Blake's hand was tentatively placed on Ryan's arm as they both were engrossed in the menu. They shared a few sweet kisses and smiles and dabbled in light conversation as they waited for their meals to arrive. Blake was so glad Ryan had eventually forgiven her about visiting Penn. She was determined for things to be better between her and Ryan; and she knew if he held a grudge about it they'd have a lesser chance of going back to normal.

"You look beautiful tonight." Blake blushed as she brushed her hair out of her face.

"Thank you." She sweetly rubbed her fingers against his cheek as he smiled softly at her. Blake was so thankful things were going so well between them. It had been almost a week since she'd last seen Penn and although she still thought about him at times, she really felt she was slowly moving on; which was a huge relief.

Blake looked up at Ryan as she gazed deep into his eyes.

"You know, I'm really glad we're back to normal. I feel really happy, and I know it's because of you." Ryan smirked slightly at the compliment.

"Well I'm glad I can make you happy." He kissed her cheek delicately. "How about we get out of here?" Blake nodded excitedly and grabbed her purse to pay for the meal.


Penn stared blankly at the black atmosphere in front of him. All the lights were out and he couldn't see a thing. Actually that was a lie; there was one thing he could see. And that was Blake. She appeared as if she were the only light in his life, all he needed to keep going. But she was gone now. And that light only ignited his dreams. He had contemplated going to see her again, to get her to talk. But he knew it would be a waste of time, she'd only throw him out again. He was pretty sure she had moved on now anyway. Photos of her and Ryan at a fancy restaurant had been released yesterday and he felt a blinding pain in his chest when he saw them. Maybe she was just messing with him all along. Maybe it was just one of her weird pranks; like the time she told him he was adopted and his dad was some famous musician. He loved her sense of humour but if this had been one big joke he'd be really, really pissed.

But regardless of whether her feelings were a lie or not, he was sure his feelings weren't. He was doing completely fine till she came back into his life. Sure he was in a coma, but before then it was all fine; he had absolutely no feelings for her whatsoever. And now, now he couldn't stop thinking about her and how he missed her. God he missed her. He missed her lying next to him and how she would display a half smile in her sleep and then in the morning end up telling him she had been dreaming of him. Sometimes after their breakup he'd pick up the pillow next to him, and raise it to his nose and try and engulf her scent. At first it was still there; clinging to the casing like his hands would to the pillow, desperate to feel her next to him. But after a while the smell of her disappeared and no longer lingered on the white sheet; so he'd cry into the pillow some nights, which would often slowly send him to sleep.

He missed her smile and her laugh. Her laugh was so infectious he knew he didn't laugh nearly as often now. Now that he was without her. He missed everything about her and he just wished he knew what the other night was about. She had probably completely forgotten about him, while he lay there feeling lost and confused. Life without Blake always left him confused.


A/N: Okay so I know one person said they wanted less drama, so hopefully this counts as less drama? But I can't say the same of the next chapter though. I think you're gonna like it ;) Thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter they were all amazing.