I Own Anything That Stephenie Meyer Does Not... Like Corn Pops!

I actually broke this chapter into two. The last one, and this one. Why? I couldn't resist the name play.

x Stevie


The Nut in the Crazy House

Alice didn't miss a beat. "They don't call it a war for nothing. Death happens."

"I wasn't enlisted when he died." I said coldly, turning my head to look at her. Her face was a stone. Professional. I wondered at that moment who the real psychologist was. "Everyone knows that I was in the Army. They know I was sent home. But they don't know why I was in the Army. What kind of seventeen year old wants top sign themselves up for a war they think is pointless? Why would I put in that much effort? Lie to that many people, just to be put into a war zone?"

"I don't know." Alice said.

"The answer is pretty simple. I enlisted because there were so many reports about deaths in Afghanistan. All I had to do was be careless. One mistake, and I'd be gone. I'd die a hero. My mom would cry, and my family would be crushed, but they wouldn't know what a coward I was." I took a deep breath. I had never admitted my plans out loud. "The worlds most complicated and time consuming suicide."

Alice flinched. I felt her hand shake, and miss a stroke. I turned my head to look at her. I hadn't noticed its drifting.

"But you don't care about that. You want to know why. I could write a book on why."

"What did you do, Jasper?" She asked.

"Let's do this properly." I said, and stood up. I walked around the mess on the floor, and laid down on my couch. Alice sat down in my chair, and tented her fingers. Just like me. "I don't know why know one ever lies down on the couch. It's comfy."

"You're deflecting." Alice said in her cool professional tone. Me in essence.

"I know." I sighed. "You want to know who I killed, and why. And if it was an accident. It's wasn't."

Her eyebrows rose high on her beautiful face. She really was pretty. "Tell me what happened."

"I hate cults. Did you know that? I won't read anything that's a cult classic, I won't join any large group with the same goal, I don't even go to church anymore. But know one knows why. But you will." I began. "It was the same year that I enlisted. And like everything insane that I do, it started with a girl. Maria."

Alice's hands clenched.

"I met her at a party. A stupid party that Emmett dragged me too because my twin was there. Maria was 'visiting her cousin'. I now know that she was recruiting." I frowned. If she would have taken Emmett instead of me, I would have never been able to live with myself. The thought still haunted me. "I had a lot to drink, kept talking to her, and then woke up three days later in Texas in a bunker. You've heard about the vampire cult in Texas, right?" Alice nodded.

I was still shocked that I was telling someone. But if it had to be anyone, I would choose Alice.

"You can breathe easy. I didn't attack anyone like those psycho's. I was tied up in a basement. Everyday this girl would come down, and throw blood at me, and I would throw up. They overlooked that there was a stack of canned food under a blanket beside me. That's the only reason I lived." I was silent for a long moment. A million vivid images ran through my head.

"And then one day they untied me. A bunch of these disgusting kids let me out of the bunker, and took me up to the surface. It was dark out, and I was gagged. We went to a park. There was this girl, running. She had headphones on, and a dog on a leash. One girl blew a dog whistle, and it went crazy. It ran to us." I felt my stomach turn. "I shouldn't tell you this."

"Yes, you should. You can't hold this inside." Alice replied.

I exhaled, blowing the air through my bangs. "They killed the dog, but the girl didn't know. She still had her headphones on. The girl with the whistle went around her with piano wire, and knocked her to the ground. I remember screaming," I touched the corner of my mouth, "and sucking in dirt that was on the gag. It hurt." My lungs suddenly felt like they were closing. It was how I felt when they hurt the girl. "I was having an asthma attack. I haven't had one since."

"Breathe, Jasper." Alice told me. I did as she asked.

"This boy, the one that killed the dog..." I trailed off. "His name was Colin. I remember that. He pulled out this knife. It was the kind that Esme likes to use to cut steaks. I don't eat steak now." I frowned selfishly. I missed steak. "They put the knife on her throat... and then Colin was dead. I killed him. Took the other knife out of the dog, and stabbed him in the back. He was only fourteen."

For the first time since that night, a tear fell down my face. "He was only in grade nine. Barely hit puberty. I could have picked him up. I could have just pushed him off of her. But I stabbed him, and he died, and it was all my fault."

I heard Alice stand up, but didn't hear her. "Jasper... you saved an innocent life." She whispered, petting my hair.

"No, I killed a minor niner."

"They kidnapped you." Alice said.

"Maria did. He didn't. I couldn't live with myself after that. I enlisted, and set my courageous suicide into action. But this idiot, Peter, forgot to put his safety on before our mission, and shot me in the foot. It didn't even hit a bone, and yet it ruined me."

"It didn't ruin you, it saved you." Alice said, stroking the side of my face with her small, cold hands.

"How can you even stand to touch me?!" I cried. "I'm a monster! Disgusting! An abomination! I've killed someone! Does that not bother you?"

"Not at all." She said, with a tiny head shake.

"Why?!"

"Because I know the feeling." She whispered. "You're disgusted, shocked, in turmoil. You feel like you're worthless. Every time you see something that symbolizes innocence, like a child, or a church goer, you look away because you think you're to impure."

I rolled on to my side and looked at her. "And you keep replaying the scene over and over again, even when you don't notice it. Everything reminds you of that moment. You just want it to go away. So you over analyze everything. People. Emotions. Objects. Actions. Everything has to have a reason that doesn't relate to what you did."

"You want to find the sin away from sin." She finished. I couldn't believe it. She really did know.

"How?" I asked quietly.

"I've already told you. I'm a vampire." She sighed.

"Alice," I groaned, "that's a physical and logical impossible. A vampire is a mythological impossibility."

Alice's mouth set into a hard line. "What's it going to take to convince you?" She said in exasperation.

"Show me some fangs." I replied coolly, and sat up.

"I can't!" She cried.

"Because you're not a vampire. Say it with me. 'I am not a vampire." I said, taking her shoulders.

"Do you really want me to convince you?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Yes, Alice. I want solid evidence." I said, my eyes narrowing as well.

"As you wish." She said with a sigh.

Her hands darted up with a speed that I had never witnessed before, and she grabbed my wrist. It happened so fast that I didn't have time to brace myself. She delicately bit into my wrist, her teeth slicing through it like it was nothing. My breath caught in my throat, and my mouth fell open. She kept a strong hold on my wrist, and crawled on top of me. I could see a trickle of blood coming out the side of her mouth, but couldn't feel the stabbing pain of her teeth.

I had read a vampire book in the back window of Bella's car when I went on a road trip with Edward and her to Seattle. I had thought it was stupid when it said that getting bit felt good. And now I thought I was stupid for not believing it. My eyes rolled back and my head fell to the side. I unconsciously made an odd whimpering noise. I watched in shock, and twisted euphoria, as Alice drew blood from my wrist. It didn't hurt. Not at all. It felt... good. Really good.

"Alice," I breathed. "A-Alice."

It went on like that. I just said her name over and over, while I tried to keep from making embarrassing noises. To my chagrin, I groaned when she pulled away. My eyes were hooded as I looked at her. Her mouth was stained red, and her eye teeth were slightly longer than all of the others. She leaned over me to my ear.

"Do you believe me now?" She whispered. I tried to nod, but my muscles wouldn't work. My head just fell to the side.

"Impossible." I said in a breath.

"Nothing is impossible, Dr. Cullen." She said. "You just have to open your eyes."


I feel as though I should update as much as possible over the holidays. Just to catch up :) Expect more updates in the next two weeks.

xStevie