Taeki. He's back. Yumika must have been ecstatic. I'm happy for her. But Taeki isn't Taeki anymore. I'm a bit concerned about that.
No!
This is better! I can use his influence as Taeki to help me. I'm so selfish. Why am I the only one who can find Hope in Despair?
Despair is what I want. Despair is created by sadness or any bad emotion, really. So by not having what I want, I create Despair, giving me what I want.
So really, I like Hope?
…
I guess. That's what Neweki said. He said to call him Cap. Well, if that's what he wants, I guess I'll call him that.
You see, Cap is the best. Taeki used to be super mean, but he was really smart and whatever he told me to do ended up giving others Despair. So I followed him. But Cap is different. He cares about what I think. Even scum like me. I Despair so much I Hope. What kind of messed up person am I? Do I even have the eyes anymore? Am I sane?
Of course I am. It's only logical to follow someone as smart and talented as Taeki. And that intelligence with someone so kind as Cap? How could I refuse someone like that? To me, his word is God's.
I'm to explode the place I've lived in for years. I don't feel bad. In fact, I'm excited. I can finally set out to accomplish something I want for a change. I can Hope.
I throw the grenade and a pillar blows up. All the Monos create chaos but it doesn't bother me. They would never suspect it was me.
Throw another, another, another…There we go. All the Monos are throwing grenades everywhere. But I still haven't set the C4.
Well, I have to do it. No choice.
I climb up the machine. One misstep and I plummet to my death.
I'm smiling.
This is my freedom. Finally free.
Three minutes. I bolt out of there as fast as I can and meet up with Cap.
Ah!
"It's going to blow!"
"Get on!"
He pulls me onto his chair. He pushes a button and the chair sprints ahead at higher speeds than I could run. We get a sizable distance from the warehouse and the whole thing falls in on itself in a massive explosion. The shockwave doesn't get to us but a bit of dust does. We're okay, though.
"You did it."
"Oh course. Anything for you, Cap."
Why did Cap stay out here while I risked my life? Why did I have to be the one to almost die? He was supposed to help me, wasn't he?
"Hey, Cap."
"Yeah?"
It hit me. It was all for me. So I could overcome my past. It wasn't that hard, really. Cap is such a great person. He let me do it myself, protecting himself while also making me prove my worth. This trust. It really makes me happy.
"Chikao?"
"Uh, yes? What do you need?"
"Well, you asked me, didn't you?"
"It was nothing. I just wanted to thank you."
"But you almost died."
"Exactly. I have freedom now. A new future. I can't Despair anymore. All I have is Hope."
A twisted feeling envelops my entire body.
"It's tearing me apart. I hate it so much. Thank you, Cap. It's all because of you."
He gives me a frightened expression, but I know he'll come to understand. I just have to Hope for it.
Hope.
Hehe.
It feels so strange using that word.
I think I like it.
