SURPRISE! Hehe, two updates all at once! I wrote this one while I was waiting for the edits back for the previous one...so, anyway, Leafy's POV:
The day of the Gathering was bright and clear, as if the forest had skipped newleaf and the time of greenleaf was already here. Leafpool ventuered out of her den, sniffing the air appreciatively as Brightheart padded out of the warriors' den to meet her.
"I think I'll go search for herbs today," mewed the young medicine cat. "There's bound to be some new leaves sprouting, what with this warmth."
"You couldn't ask for a better day to find them," Brightheart replied. She stretched, her ginger-and-white pelt rippling in the sunlight and looking around the clearing. At that moment Daisy appeared out of the nursery. She nervously avoided Brightheart's cold gaze, but her kits came bouncing over immediately, Hazelkit leading them.
"Brightheart!" The little she-cat cried delightedly. "Brightheart, what are you doing today?"
The ThunderClan queen let out a mrrow of laughter. "I don't know yet," she meowed, leaning down to touch noses lightly with the tiny kit. "Perhaps I'll go and collect herbs with Leafpool."
"Oh!" The kit's eyes grew wide. "You're going to do medicine cat stuff. But you said you weren't a medicine cat."
"I'm not," Brightheart meowed quickly with a glance at Leafpool. "I'm only helping Leafpool now, since the Clan is still so shaken after the badgers' attack."
"I think you should be a medicine cat," Hazelkit announced. "Don't you want to?"
"No," Brightheart mewed lightly. "Special cats are chosen for that path, and I know I'm not one of them."
Her tail was lashing, her one good eye looking in Daisy's direction. Leafpool shuffled her paws. She knew that Brightheart was as good as a medicine cat apprentice now- she spent more time in Leafpool's den then she did with the warriors. But Brightheart was constantly assuring her it would only be for a while. Until she fixes things with Cloudtail, Leafpool thought.
"Leafpool!" The she-cat jumped as she heard her father calling her name, and saw Firestar leaping down from his den at the Highledge. She felt her fur stand on end as he came near her. Had Squirrelflight told him about her illict meeting with Crowfeather? Or had some other cat seen, and he'd found out that way?
But the Clan leader didn't seem angry as he asked, "Are you busy?"
Leafpool blinked. "I was going to collect herbs," she meowed, "but that can wait. I have all day...we won't be going to the Gathering until near moonhigh."
Firestar nodded. "Good," he replied. "I'd like a word with you."
About what? Leafpool wondered nervously, but she didn't ask, only dipped her head and followed her father back towards his den. She thought that Brightheart would look after her curiously, but the older she-cat had her head bent, speaking to Hazelkit again. Of course, Leafpool reminded herself, there was nothing strange with a Clan leader wanting to speak to his medicine cat.
Firestar settled himself on his nest beneath the Highledge. Leafpool sat facing him, wrapping her tail firmly around her paws. "What did you want to tell me?" She couldn't read the look in her father's green eyes, and one of his ears twitched in a way that reminded her of Squirrelflight when she was uncertain about something.
"Brook and Stormfur have been staying with us for far too long," he meowed at last. Leafpool blinked at him, amazed that he was admitting it so bluntly, and then nodded. "The whole Clan is wondering about when they'll be leaving," she mewed, and then added hesitantly, "Stormfur told me that you were thinking of going back to the mountains with them, to look for Graystripe. But-"
"He's right, Leafpool," Firestar meowed. "That's what I mean to do."
Leafpool gaped at him. "But...but- you can't just leave!" she stuttered. "How can the Clan cope without its leader? And what if-"
She broke off. Firestar tipped his head to one side, leaning closer. "What if what?" he asked. "What is it, Leafpool?"
Leafpool took a breath, remembering Crowfeather's advice when she had met him. You have to tell Firestar. Her eyes closed for a heartbeat, and she felt more certain as she recalled the soft touch of his fur against hers. "I had a dream," she confessed. "At the last half-moon, when I went to the Moonpool. I met with Spottedleaf and Cinderpelt and Feathertail...and they told me that there's still danger in the forest; that there's trouble ahead. They were going to tell me more, but..."
She trailed off and then took another breath, telling the story of the fearsome cats that had hunted her in her dreams. Firestar listened, his eyes wide and ears pricked, the tip of his tail twitching back and forth.
" 'We hunt StarClan'?" he repeated, when she was done. "What does that mean?"
"I've no idea," Leafpool admitted. "But the StarClan cats were frightened of them- they ran when they came. And Cinderpelt told me Yellowfang's prophecy again...'before there is peace, blood will spill blood, and the lake will run red'."
"Blood will spill blood..." Firestar repeated thoughtfully. "It sounds as if there might be a battle coming."
Leafpool nodded. "How can you leave now?" she meowed. "ThunderClan might need you."
Firestar twitched his tail. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" he asked.
The medicine cat looked down at her paws. "I...I was afraid to," she mewed. "I didn't know what to say to you, and I thought- thought maybe you wouldn't believe me. I broke the warrior code. And the medicine cat ones. I don't blame any cat for not trusting me."
She ducked her head, staring fixedly at the ground, and only heard Firestar's soft pawsteps as he crossed the den to stand beside her, his flame-colored fur brushing hers. "I know that you're loyal, Leafpool," he meowed. "Loyal to your heart and to StarClan, which is all a medicine cat needs to be. You've proven yourself many times over. ThunderClan won't forget that."
But what if I can't forget Crowfeather? Leafpool thought, her belly clenching, and forced herself to look up at Firestar. His green gaze was clear and calm.
"You have to remember, though," he continued, "that you are ThunderClan's only medicine cat now. I have to hear what you recieve from StarClan- all of ThunderClan depends on you, more than they ever did before."
A lump formed in Leafpool's throat, but she forced herself to nod. "I'm sorry," she mewed.
Firestar purred softly, and for a moment Leafpool was a kit again, in the nursery with Squirrelflight, with no more worries beyond how long it was until her mother put her to sleep. Firestar's meow was deep and certain and seemed to flow through her like it used to, making her feel stronger. "It's all right, Leafpool."
He was moving away from her now, sitting back in his nest, suddenly businesslike. "Even with StarClan's warnings," he meowed, "I still have to go. I have to find Graystripe...or, if I can't, I have to be the last one searching. I know that he would do the same if it were me that was gone."
"He would," Leafpool agreed. "But how long will you be gone? And how will we know if-" Her throat closed, and she had to start again- "if you aren't coming back?"
The flame-colored tom watched her steadily. "I'm leaving the dawn after the Gathering," he meowed. "And I won't be gone for longer then a moon- I want to be back before the next Gathering. With a bit of luck the other Clans won't even know I'm missing."
The medicine cat nodded as he went on. "Brackenfur and Sandstorm will take over while I'm gone. If I'm not back three dawns after the next Gathering, you must take Brackenfur to the Moonpool so that he can be made a proper leader in my place."
Leafpool blinked at him. He talked of his own death so easily, as if he wasn't frightened at all. As if it could really happen...she shivered. What would ThunderClan do without Firestar?
He was watching her, waiting for her response. Leafpool wanted to stand up and yowl at him that this whole thing was mouse-brained, that he couldn't leave his Clan and kin for a cat that may be dead. But she knew that whatever she said wouldn't make a difference, and some part of her inside knew that it wasn't right to argue. It was her Clan leader's decision, and her job to support him.
"Okay," she mewed at last, bowing her head. "But for StarClan's sake, be careful."
Firestar's whiskers twitched. "You sound like Cinderpelt," he meowed, his gaze warm. "You're more like her than you know, Leafpool. She wouldn't be doing anything differently than you are."
Leafpool jerked her head up. "Yes she would!" she meowed fiercely. "Cinderpelt was loyal. Cinderpelt would have never fallen in love with Crowfeather and betrayed ThunderClan. Cinderpelt was a much better medicine cat than I'll ever be."
Firestar padded forward, his nose just brushing her ear. "I wouldn't be so certain," he warned her. "Perhaps Cinderpelt didn't go through the exact same things you did, but it was always her spirit and kindness that kept her going. Just as it is with you, Leafpool."
Leafpool stared at him, suddenly more grateful than she could say. It made her feel guilty that he could sit there and support her, after all she'd done. Still, for the first time in ages, she felt as if the ground was firmly beneath her paws. Firestar trusted her as his medicine cat, and StarClan still watched her.
I haven't lost everything, even with what I did.
And how could she have been thinking of going back to Crowfeather? Of proving her father and warrior ancestors wrong, by betraying them yet again? How could she, when her Clan needed her so much?
&&&
Leafpool padded behind Sandstorm as the ThunderClan cats made their way to the Gathering. Squirrelflight was just in front of her, talking to their mother as she padded along. Brambleclaw was at her heels, and as she glanced at him Leafpool thought the tabby warrior seemed nervous about something; his tail and ears kept twitching, and his eyes flickered from Squirrelflight to his own paws. Rainwhisker, Thornclaw, Dustpelt, Cloudtail, Ashfur, and his apprentice, Birchpaw, made up the rest of the party. Firestar had made a point of picking strong warriors with wounds that had already healed from the fight with the badgers- he wasn't about to show weakness to the other Clans, especially when he was about to leave. Brook and Stormfur were also here, to meet up with friends in other Clans before they left the next day.
The medicine cat's paws prickled. Firestar would be making the announcement about him leaving tonight, once the Gathering was over, and Brook and Stormfur would escort him to the mountains the following morning. What would her Clanmates' reactions be? She knew that some cats would support Firestar without question, but some cats would think his whole idea was mousebrained. Firestar was known for doing things differently than most other forest cats- and not all of ThunderClan was pleased about that.
It's not as if they could stop him, Leafpool reminded herself. He's the Clan leader.
But what happens when he's gone?
Living in a leaderless Clan frightened her, especially so soon after the badger attack. What if something else came up? They needed Firestar. But Graystripe needed him too.
Oh, StarClan, Leafpool thought desperately. I don't know what's right.
"Leafpool!"
Leafpool shook her head, realizing that Squirrelflight was calling her. Her sister's green eyes were worried. "What's up, Leafpool? You look frightened."
"It's nothing..." Leafpool trailed off, and then realized she could actually tell her sister this time what was troubling her. As they crossed the log to the Gathering island she dropped her voice and fell into step with Squirrelflight. "It's Firestar. He told me today...he's leaving the Clan to look for Graystripe."
"What?" Squirrelflight hissed. "Has he gone completely mousebrained? He can't! Not not! Not when-"
She cut herself off abruptly, but not before Leafpool had seen her gaze slide momentarily to Brambleclaw, who had cleared the log ahead of them and was setting off across the island. The medicine cat blinked at her sister. "You don't think Brambleclaw would try anything? I know he's ambitious, Squirrelflight- but taking over the Clan? Firestar was his mentor!"
"You never know." Squirrelflight's tail twitched. "It's just- he's so different now, Leafpool. And he spends all his time hanging around with Hawkfrost. And no cat can say that Hawkfrost has never tried taking over the forest."
Leafpool felt the fur on her shoulders bristle when she heard the RiverClan tabby's name. She didn't like Hawkfrost any more than Squirrelflight, but it was hard to think of Brambleclaw, the cat that had led the journey to save the Clans, trying to take over ThunderClan.
"There's nothing I can do to persuade Firestar to stay," she meowed hopelessly. "He's leaving tomorrow, and giving an announcement to ThunderClan tonight. He wants to be back within the next moon, so the other Clans might not even realize that he's gone."
Squirrelflight's eyes narrowed, but at that moment Leafpool heard Mothwing's voice, "Leafpool!" She lifted her head and spotted the golden tabby a few foxlengths away, with the other medicine cats. "Leafpool, are you coming?"
Leafpool looked back at Squirrelflight, but her sister shook her head. "Go on," she meowed. "You have to do your medicine cat stuff. And besides, this probably isn't the best place to talk about this." She shot a suspicious look at Hawkfrost, who was now meeting Brambleclaw near the island's shore. As always, Leafpool was struck with how alike the two tabbies were, with the same height and muscular frame. Though their eyes were different colors, there was the same dark light in them, a kind of gleam that Leafpool had never noticed before.
Squirrelflight waved her tail in farewell, setting off in the opposite direction from Brambleclaw to meet with Tawnypelt, Russetfur, and a few other ShadowClan cats, who gave her friendly nods. Leafpool's ears flicked with wonder to think of ShadowClan cats being so kind to any cat- but then, if a cat had told her several moons ago that ShadowClan were going to accept ThunderClan's help in chasing out kittypets, she would have said they were mousebrained.
"Flightpaw's just been telling us about the yarrow plants she found in WindClan territory," meowed Mothwing as Leafpool approached. The tiny she-cat, looking even more dwarfed by the adult cats all around her, gave a leap at the sound of her name, but when Barkface nodded encouragingly she began to describe the hollow where the yarrow grew.
"And of course you know what yarrow does," mewed Mothwing certainly, twitching her whiskers down at Flightpaw. The apprentice nodded quickly. "You can give it to cats to expel poison."
"That's right," Barkface purred, while Leafpool blinked approvingly at Mothwing. The RiverClan she-cat was good with young cats- already Flightpaw was looking more confident, her dark amber eyes curious as she listened to Littlecloud and Barkface discuss the past leaf-bare sicknesses. Mothwing watched her fondly, and suddenly Leafpool remembered Willowkit, a RiverClan kit who had been a help to Mothwing when many cats had fallen ill because of Twoleg poison.
But how could Mothwing ever become a mentor, when she couldn't pass on the ways to interpret StarClan dreams to an apprentice? Leafpool sighed. Between Mothwing, Crowfeather, Firestar, Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw, it seemed like she'd never have a time when she couldn't worry. She turned her head away from the medicine cats' conversation, and as she did so she caught the gleam of a pair of familiar blue eyes. Crowfeather padded out of the shadows, beckoning her with his tail. "Can I speak with you, Leafpool?"
Leafpool cast a nervous glance back at her fellow medicine cats. Mothwing's gaze was mischievious and Littlecloud's determinedly neutral, but Barkface's eyes were wide with disapproval as he looked from Leafpool to Crowfeather. He cleared his throat. "Onestar has told you that you aren't to speak with Leafpool," he meowed.
"I know." Crowfeather's fur bristled ever so slightly, and he flashed the WindClan medicine cat a defiant glance. "It will only be for a moment."
Leafpool got to her paws. "It's okay," she meowed to no one in particular, and followed Crowfeather away from the other medicine cats. He made as if he was going to head for a secluded clump of bushes, but Leafpool steered him towards the very center of the island, near the tree where the leaders gathered. Cats were thronging all around, looking for places to sit. Crowfeather tipped his head to one side, but he didn't argue as he sat down across from Leafpool. "You look better," he mewed. "I hope Squirrelflight didn't give you any trouble when she ran into us. If she did-"
"She didn't," Leafpool meowed curtly. Her heart was beating very fast as she struggled to hide the emotion inside her, but she managed to keep her voice calm. "What did you want to ask me about?"
Crowfeather's eyes widened. "I just thought you might want to talk," he replied, sounding confused. "And did you tell Firestar about your dream?"
"Yes," meowed Leafpool. "He knows. Everything's all right now. Is that all?"
She wanted desperately to get away from Crowfeather. Her eyes kept glancing through the crowd, wondering what cats were thinking as they saw them together. Did they think she wasn't a fit medicine cat? What if it got back to Squirrelflight or Firestar? What did her own Clan think? Would they trust her even less now?
Crowfeather kept trying to catch her eye, but she looked carefully away from him. Finally he sighed. "Something's wrong, Leafpool. I can tell."
"I already told you, everything's fine," Leafpool mewed. She lowered her voice. "Why are you asking to talk to me, anyway? We can't see each other anymore- especially not in the middle of a Gathering."
Crowfeather got to his paws, his eyes narrowing. "I just thought-"
"And Barkface is going to tell Onestar, you know that, right? He's not going to trust you!"
"I don't care what Onestar thinks!" Crowfeather hissed. "I care about you, Leafpool...but you're acting like that doesn't even matter!"
Leafpool felt a lump form in her throat as a wave of sorrow washed over her, her mouth opening instinctively to disagree, but then she remembered the pride in Firestar's eyes, just this morning. How could she let him down? And all of ThunderClan, too?
"It can't matter, Crowfeather. I can't tell you things, I can't see you...not anymore. ThunderClan needs me, I'm their only medicine cat now. I'm sorry, I wish it was different. But it's not."
For a few heartbeats she thought her paws weren't going to hold her up, but then she steadied herself and set off through the throng of cats, back to where Mothwing and the others were waiting. The meows around her blended together into a kind of faint buzzing in her ears, and though she never looked back once, she knew that all she would see if she did was Crowfeather, staring blankly after her.
