Chapter 9

First Night

Elsa felt bright eyes burning into the back of her skull. She wanted to adjust herself, for she still leaned awkwardly against the bed post, gripping it so hard that her nails made cuts into the wood. She heard Santein move slightly, and she took the opportunity to swing herself up. Using her hand to stand, she tried to make it look effortless. A little too effortless.

Before she could realize where she was headed, she found herself sprawled on the floor, her legs sticking out awkwardly in front of her. Stop it! You're acting like Anna! Elsa thought, embarrassment flushing her cheeks as she finally stood up straight. Santein's lip were shut tight together, trying hard not to laugh at the sight of a Queen falling on her butt.

Elsa shut her eyes, shrugged, and let out a laugh. If he was going to laugh at her, at least she'd laugh with him.

"Are you stable now? Or should I get someone to come and take care of you instead of me?" He said, his voice airy with laughter.

This wasn't so bad. As long as she didn't open her eyes, having a conversation with a complete stranger wouldn't be terrible. She shouldn't be this bad at it, she spoke with new people monthly, on accounts of trade progresses and financial business. For some reason, this was different.

"I'm fine, I think." She finally breathed out, slightly opening her eyes. Santein rolled his playfully.

"Well if you think you can handle it, could you hand me that mug over there?" He asked, raising his sights to a cup on the bedside table, just out of his reach.

No, please not touching anything! Elsa pleaded in her head. Squeezing her palms tightly, she answered through tight lips. "Of course."

Straightening her back, she walked slowly towards the table, eyes locked on the cup. Conceal, don't feel, she said silently, the words coming back to her. She knew it wasn't right to let those words creep back in, she had promised herself to not shut people out, to not hide what she could do. But this wasn't the time to go spinning clouds of snowflakes around her guest's head. It's just a cup, get it together!

Reaching down, she hesitated for a moment. Swallowing, she easily picked it up. Her eyes meet his as she lay it in his hand, and she felt her face flush. He took it, iceless as it had ever been, relief pouring from her chest.

"Thanks." He murmured, chugging it until it was gone. He wiped his mouth on his bare arm, laying the cup between his knees. He must have seen how awkward it was for her to handle a obviously horrific, terrifying cup.

Elsa nodded before going back to her chair. She turned her head to look back out of the window, but her sight rested on nothing outside. She could only see re-runs of memories in her head, how she'd frozen everything around her only a year ago. Her vision clouded, and sounds of wailing wind began to swarm her thoughts. No, you can't do this again. She couldn't let her fear take hold again. It had hurt too many people.

"Kaija seems to really like you." Santein said, breaking the silence.

Elsa turned, forcing a weak smile. "She certainly likes playing games." What? What kind of response was that? What is wrong with you? She screamed at herself. Maybe he hadn't noticed.

Santein laughed. "Are you like this with all your visitors? Or is it just me?"

He noticed. Elsa bit her lip, took a huge sigh, and turned to face him. "I'm….I'm sorry. This really isn't like me. A lot has happened in the past few days, I'm just still trying to come to terms with it all." She said, trying her best to sound as formal as she could under this kind of pressure. That was the problem. She'd never felt pressure like this before. She'd never been this nervous.

Santein blinked, curiosity swarming in his eyes. "What sort of things? If it's Kaija, I'm very sorry. She can be over bearing." He said apologetically.

Elsa felt a smile spread over her teeth. "Oh, no, no she's wonderful." She turned her shoulder's towards him this time, keeping her hands in her lap. "It's really nothing, though. I should be able to handle it fine, I just don't know what's gotten into me." Her voice trailed quietly, and for the first time she could physically hear the concern in her own voice.

"Even the greatest of Queen's need a break sometimes." Santein said quietly, and Elsa looked up and into his eyes. These simple words made her breath catch in her throat. For some reason, they comforted her. Comfort was still new, a fresh taste in her chest.

"It's still my job to handle everything that's going on. Being Queen is the only thing I'm good at." Elsa said plainly, and she was right. She wasn't good at talking, comforting, sharing, touching. She wasn't good at being a sister, a caretaker, a helper. She only had one thing she handled well. Shutting people out.

"I don't believe that." Santein said, smiling. "You've got to be good at at least something else." He teased, playfulness sneaking in his voice. Elsa laughed softly, and rolled her eyes. He kept up. "I mean come on. Let see, are you good at dancing?"

"I don't dance." She said plainly, and he laughed.

"I'll have to teach you then." Santein smiled, and Elsa felt her heart pound. "I'm an excellent dancer." He smirked, laughter lighting up his eyes.

"I bet you are." Elsa giggled, no sign of doubt in her words. It felt good, good to laugh off some of her nerves.

"What about drawing? I bet you're an artist." He tried, and Elsa shook her head.

"No, I don't draw well, either."

"Singing?" Santein asked.

Elsa stopped a moment. She'd never thought herself a singer, but she never thought she was relatively bad at it. She'd often sung herself to sleep as a child. "Not really…." She trailed off, but Santein didn't buy it.

"I think I found it. You're a singer." He put a fake expression of jealousy on his face. " Impressive." This time, Elsa's laugh came out loud, spilling from her chest. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand. She was a Queen, not some childish chatter box who laughed like a rude, drunk man.

"You're also a good laugher." Santein said, his blue eyes holding Elsa's, a moment longer than she would have liked.

She didn't reply, she couldn't. Her face was so red that if she'd looked at him, he'd still be able to see her cheeks through the dim light of the room. She only sighed quietly in reply.

"It's nice here." Santein finally said, resettling his arm's over his chest. "I can't thank you enough for this room, while we stay."

Elsa figured she might as well let the moment pass. She couldn't help but want to hear him talk about her laugh again. "You're very welcome. Does it remind you of you're place back home?" She asked, surprised at her own ability to continue a conversation.

Santein's expression dropped, shocking Elsa. "I'm sorry….did I say something wrong?" Of course, of course she had. She'd let herself get too comfortable and gone over the border. She didn't know this man, much less what he was like, what he'd been through, where he came from. How could she ask a question like that?

He didn't answer for a while. She chewed her lip, mentally hitting herself. Nice job.

"It's a whole lot nicer than home." Santein finally replied, and Elsa decided to stop the conversation there. She was very curious as to what he meant, but knew better than to press. If anyone knew what it was liked to be asked a question they didn't want to answer, it was her.

She turned back towards the window, resting her eyes on the moon. She had a long night of pretending to be asleep ahead.


There ya go :) How do you like Santein?

Thanks for reading!

Love,

OncerRevolution

updated 3/6/15