A/N: Wow, chapter nine. I wasn't expecting to do this many chapters! Sorry if it falls apart at the end, I got sidetracked watching Zimbani. Hm. Indeed.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Mighty Boosh. But do I really not own The Mighty Boosh...? Yeah, I don't.
'Ewwwwwwwh, this is an outrage, I'll be puking up on me own tentacles again if you don't slow down, squire, and you won't like that, I can tell you-'
'Shut up, Harrison!' Saboo turned to Harrison, who sat beside him on the carpet, hands curling into fists, 'Enough of your relentless harrying or I will throw your clefty bonce overboard!'
'Oh shut it, Saboo, you feathery ballbag, that's always your way, isn't it, playin' dirty, throwing me overboard! Too afraid to fight like a man!' Harrison waved his tentacles and nearly fell backwards.
'Ha!' Saboo clapped his gloved hands, 'Hilarious! I won't even have to lift a finger if you throw yourself overboard!'
'In a minute,' Bollo said, 'Bollo going to go a bit mental...'
Kirk, sitting at the back, rolled his eyes.
'There's too many people on this carpet,' Harrison griped, 'We'll all fall off in a minute!'
'I think you'll find that you will be meeting the Crunch quite some time before this carpet
comes down if you keep acting like the ballbag that you are, Tony Harrison,'
'Will you just shut up, you two?' Naboo snapped, 'I've got loads more important things to be worrying about, yeah!'
'Meddling in mortal affairs again, are we, Naboo?' Saboo raised an eyebrow.
Dennis was usually a patient and clam man in situations like this; he had to be, there was a lot of them, but today just hadn't been that good a day; his wife had a lot of things going on that were making her moody with him, and he was pretty sure that he would throw himself off the carpet if he heard another peep out of anybody,
'I swear to the Crunch,' he said, making everyone fall silent, 'If I hear one more morsel of bickering, I will reach back there and so help me I'll wring the necks of everyone aboard!'
'Whoa,' Saboo held up his hands, 'Whoa there, Denzoid,'
'Yeah, what's got into you?' Harrison inquired.
'Please,' Dennis massaged his temples, 'It's been a bit of a day so far, I'm sorry for my outburst, I just...'
Sighing, and trying his hardest to block out the rest of the conversation, Naboo looked up at the moon; what time was it now? He needed to get home at least half an hour before it was ten o'clock so that he could look for this mystery monster.
...
...
...
...
Oh! Is it me?
You know, when you are da moon, if you 'ave an argument with Venus or Mars or anyone, you can't just go away, cos you are da moon, you can't, you can't just leave your station!
There was a rumour going round, about Uranus, an' I didn't start it but 'e thought I did an' we 'ad a big fight.
It was awful, the neighbours done a complaint.
I'm da moon.
In the kitchen, back at the flat, the square plastic blue clock from Vince and Howard's bedroom that had somehow found its way into the kitchen read 9:30
Vince and Howard were both sitting on the floor, Howard with his head buried in the crevice of his knee-caps that were pulled up to his chest, and Vince sitting close beside him, his hand on Howard's arm.
'C'mon, Howard...' he said quietly.
They had resorted to looking in the books that Naboo had left lying on the table themselves, but most of them were in Xooberonish, which made it difficult, and now they were scattered about the floor as well.
Vince sighed and lifted a curl of the maverick's hair, 'Yer 'air's gettin' long... m' gonna have to do some midnight barbering again, ain't I?' he said softly, 'Unless you want the poet look?'
Howard remained as he was and Vince sighed and moved to crouch in front of Howard, 'Please don't be all upset...' he murmured, kneeling, 'Otherwise I'll get all upset an' then Naboo'll come in an' we'll both be in tears...' he laughed a little, and put his hands either side of Howard's arms, wondering if Howard minded him breaking the 'don't touch me' rule.
'Naboo'll be back in a minute, won't e'?' He continued, 'an even if he don't find anything an' this thing comes here looking for me, I'm not just gonna let it carry me away like a glittery handbag, am I? I'll get me Nicky Clarke's out,'
Howard gave the smallest of chuckles and looked up a little into a pair of bright blue eyes.
Vince smiled at him, 'I don't think I've ever seen you have a bit of a cry like this before; it's really quite sweet actually, but it makes me feel like my new best outfit, mirrorball suit and all me accessories have been thrown into an incinerator, so please, don't do it again, Howard,' he stood up and held out his hand, 'C'mon, get up; let's put Naboo's books back otherwise he'll do his nut,'
Vince pulled Howard to his feet and then gave an alarmed cry as the Northerner wrapped his arms around him, crushing him to his chest in a tight embrace.
'Howard, Howard, Howard!'
'Mm?'
'I can't breathe...'
'Oh God,' Howard let go, 'I'm sorry, I just...' he didn't want to imagine what things would be like if something happened to Vince.
Vince smiled, 'It's alright, just remember I'm like a twiglet if you wanna hug me next time, and you're a big Northern... tree,' he winked and Howard laughed as Vince hurried off into the living room with an armful of Naboo's books.
'Charming, sir,'
Seconds later Naboo arrived at the flat.
'Who's been at my stuff? Have you 'ad my books out on the floor?'
Howard and Vince looked at one another.
'I'll take that as a yes,' The Shaman shook his head, a small smile flickering across his lips for a second. He nodded at Howard, noticing his eyes that were slightly red, 'What's the matter?'
'Oh, er... nothing, it's just... dusty books,' Howard replied.
Vince nodded.
'Right,' Naboo raised an eyebrow, 'Anyway, let's have a proper look at these before those ballbags get here and see if we can find anything,'
Things were looking considerably bleak when the plastic cube clock red 10:15 and there was still no sign of Lance, Harold or a suspect in the book that looked or sounded enough like the demon they were after.
Vince had settled himself on the sofa and fallen asleep, but Howard, Naboo and Bollo were still surrounded by books. It was like playing an absurd game of Guess Who?
'I gotta bad feeling about this,' Bollo said quietly, turning to Naboo, 'What if...'
Naboo nodded, 'I didn't think it would be, but maybe...'
'Hello?' Howard frowned, 'Maybe what?'
Naboo pursed his lips, looking at Howard grimly, 'We'll have to talk in the kitchen,'
Sighing inwardly, Howard wondered how things could possibly be any worse and followed Naboo into the kitchen, leaving Bollo to stay with Vince.
'There's another book,' Naboo told him, 'that only contains demons that are locked wherever they are, think of them liked trapped spirits. They can't really be stopped but they can be put to rest again. I didn't think it could be one of those types of demons cos I can't see what Vince an' Lance would 'ave done to disturb it...'
'We have to look in that book,' Howard said, 'Where is it?'
'That's the thing,' Naboo replied, 'I can't just get my hands on it like that; it's in the hands of the Board of Shaman. They'll go mental if they find out that one of those has been released; they're the most dangerous demons...'
Howard shut his eyes wearily, 'Meaning?'
'Meaning we're going up Crap Creek without a paddle,' Naboo replied, hand on his hip, 'I don't mean to make you worry but this is bad juju. You an' Vince might even have to leave for a bit until I can sort it. It might have got them other two ballbags but it won't do anything terrible unless it's got all of its victims,'
'Leave?' Howard said, trying to keep his voice at a whisper, 'Where are we going to go?'
Naboo blinked, 'Well, we'll have to sort that as well...'
A few minutes later, Howard headed back into the living room, allowing Naboo and Bollo to go and discuss how they were going to get their hands on the book. He looked at Vince sleeping on the sofa; he didn't look peaceful like he always did when he slept, he was frowning.
He didn't want things to be like this, he didn't want to be arguing with Vince or see him upset. You didn't upset Vince, he was Vince Noir, the Sunshine Kid; he wasn't supposed to get upset. He wanted everything to go back to how it usually was; he wanted to wake Vince up and tell him that everything was alright and the demon was gone and that they weren't going to have to spend tomorrow packing their bags and trying to find somewhere to go.
Vince suddenly cried out and sprang awake, sitting bolt upright, gasping for air.
Howard rushed over to him, kneeling by the sofa and rubbing his back in small circles, 'Hey, hey, it's alright, just relax, you're just dreaming, Vince,' he said.
Vince's breathing started to become less fast, and he blinked as he saw spots in front of his eyes. Turning to look at Howard, he saw the look of worry on his friend's face and smiled reassuringly.
'Are you alright?' Howard asked.
'Mm,' Vince nodded, 'What's the matter?'
'How d'you mean?'
'Something's the matter,' Vince told him, 'I can tell,'
Howard looked at Vince; he looked worn out and sleepy still, 'It's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow, Little Man,'
A/N: Well, review, and let me know what you think! :D
