Ah, hello dear world. I apologize for not updating in forever, but summer seems to be busier than I thought it would be. Sigh. All I can do is offer you this chapter as recompense, and hope that you'll forgive me. I've had a serious writers block issue lately, and the inspiration just isn't coming.
"You are licking up all the worlds with your flaming mouths, swallowing them from all sides."
-Bhagavad Gita
Chapter 9
Still seventeen, still eighteen.
Thier world was falling apart, piece by piece, little by little, slipping between their fingers and cracking on the floor, yet they knew nothing of the end.
"It's too cold," he flatly replied to her pleas, never taking his eyes off the moon.
The moon is so different tonight…
"A-alright, Nii-san. I s-s-suppose I w-w-will swim by m-myself," Hinata pitifully whimpered, pursing her lips and turning back to the lake that was oh-so-wonderfully luring her into its dark depths. Stripping herself of her most outer layers of clothing, she ran straight into the frigid, refreshing water and dove headfirst into the small waves. She swam further and further down, brushing her hands and legs against water plants and smooth, algae-speckled rocks. It was utterly breathtaking. Literally. Coming up for oxygen, she felt the night air glisten and tingle on her skin, and she looked once more at the man she called her brother.
"P-p-please, Nii-san? It's feels w-w-wonderful!" she begged one last time, clasping her hands in a prayerful pose.
Giving a low grunt, Neji lifted himself off the boulder he was sitting on and reluctantly tore his gaze away from the moon to look at the young girl below him.
"We're supposed to be training," he quietly reprimanded, but began to take off his clothing anyway. Like they ever trained at night anymore. Trudging into the water, he hissed when the icy liquid hit his stomach, and stopped to let his body adjust to the temperature.
"N-nii-san, you h-h-have to come f-f-further in!"
Sighing in irritation, he sucked in his breath and immersed his entire body. His hair floated in the water as one giant net, and he felt the frosty shock on his skin. When he reappeared, he smiled a little at seeing Hinata-sama floating next to him.
"It's freezing."
"I-I know."
"Hinata-sama," he quietly teased as he grabbed her with both arms and pulled her close.
"N-nii-san, s-stop," Hinata softly laughed while trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. She was pleased that he could be so…natural with her, and her hands found their way to his shoulders. Her back arched as she leaned back to look at her cousin, and upon inspection she found a small detail that greatly piqued her interest. Reaching her fingers to his forehead, she touched the strip of fabric that covered his brow.
"You d-d-didn't take o-off your…."
Letting go of her with one arm, he used it to stop her hand from its exploration.
"Yes," he stonily interrupted.
Not put off by his sour disposition, Hinata leaned into the man that was holding her, her face mere centimeters from his. Her hands reached around her back to clasp onto his, lightly caressing his fingers and loosening his hold. Eyes fluttered, stomachs quivered, and hearts pounded.
"Okay, N-n-nii-san," she breathily whispered, hot air escaping from her lips and floating across his. For a split second he looked away, his body stiffened and his lips folded in on themselves. Without warning, they shot back out in a hard kiss that caught her off guard. Her hands instinctively gripped onto his, and soon after, she let herself relax and float into her dream world.
"Hinata-sama!" Neji gasped as he pulled himself away from her, yanking her out of her stunning mind-visions.
"W-w-what is it?" she questioned, discontented with the interruption.
"Did you just touch me?"
"Ahhh, I w-w-was holding y-y-your h-h-hand…."
"No, I mean, did you touch me?"
Her cheeks reddened in embarrassment. She hadn't touched him anywhere besides his hands, honestly! Two seconds later, she was jerked out of her mortification by another gasp from Neji.
"Hinata-sama! Was that you?"
Hinata shook her head, confused as to what was going on. Suddenly, she felt something brush on the inside of her thigh.
"N-nii-san, don't t-touch me! I d-d-didn't do it!" she cried as she backed up towards the shore.
"Hinata-sama, I haven't touched you."
Hinata sucked in another breath as something passed between her legs again. What was it? All too quickly did she come to her conclusion. Her eyes slowly rose from the water to look at Neji, and a wild, excited grin spread across her face.
"Nii-s-san," she whispered elatedly, her smile growing bigger and bigger, "I think t-t-that there's a s-s-snake in the w-w-water…"
Neji's eyes widened in shock, or fear, perhaps, and he remained still where he was.
"Run."
At the sound of her voice, both shot off for land, splashing everywhere and disturbing the serenity of the early morning. They flopped onto shore and sputtered out water, their coughing scaring away a few nearby birds.
Hinata laughed madly for no apparent reason as she collapsed on the beach. Neji simply sat down and resumed the task of staring at the disappearing moon, trying to ignore his younger cousin's hyena-like howls. Seeing his obvious discomfort, Hinata quieted down, scooted close to him and nudged his arm.
"Neji-nii-san, you k-know t-t-that you don't h-h-have to c-call me 'sama'…… and m-m-maybe I d-d-don't have to c-call you Nii-san," she timidly, almost nervously explained.
Neji continued to stare at the night sky, still perplexed as to why the moon was different tonight. He was listening to her, yes, but not watching her. A long moment of silence passed between them.
"N-Neji."
He whipped around to find out who had spoken to him so informally, only to find Hinata staring at him with her ample expectant eyes. No one had ever called him "Neji" before. He took a moment to think before replying.
"We have to get back soon, Hinata-sama."
"…y-yes, Neji-nii-san."
Standing, Neji took one last look at the falling moon.
It's….it's less ….less lonely tonight.
He did not even entertain the idea that perhaps the moon was less lonely because she was not the only one watching them together that night…
So the lightning split the sky and sent it crumbling downward.
Hanabi chuckled evilly as she set the slice of cake and fork down on the table. This is what she had been thinking, no, dreaming about all day. She could just imagine the sweet, fluffy desert going in her mouth, delicate and light.
Today had been a day of meeting and conversing with nobles and important war lords. In other words, she had spent several hours shouting her name and age at old men who really needed hearing aids. The only thing served at this gathering had been small finger foods, hardly filling and not at all delicious. It didn't really help that she had been dieting, either.
Just as Hanabi was about to enter her cake filled bliss, a cough at the door interrupted her.
"Hanabi-sama, I thought you were on a diet?"
Hanabi sighed and set the cake-laden fork down. She had been caught.
"Neji-nii-san, you obviously have no idea what a diet is like."
"True," he said as he walked across the room and sat down across from her.
"Would you like a slice, Nii-san?"
He shook his head and rested his elbows on the table.
"It's like stealing, Hanabi-sama."
Hanabi gave him a questioning look.
"Nii-san, this cake is in our family's refrigerator. I think we're allowed to take a piece, thank you."
She quickly picked the fork back up and shoved the food in her mouth. Her eyes closed as she enjoyed the sheer pleasure of consuming the dessert, never mind the guilt that would come later. As the fork slid out from between her lips, her eyes fluttered back open and slowly looked out the window.
"Besides, Nii-san," she spoke after swallowing, "I don't believe that I'm the thief here, yeah?"
"I don't understand, Hanabi-sama."
Hanabi turned her head to face him, her face soft and naive.
"What have you stolen, Nii-san?"
He remained silent.
"Did you take kindness? Power? Love?"
Neji squirmed a little in his seat.
She doesn't know…she can't possibly know.
"Or maybe you've taken innocence, Nii-san."
Looking out the window Hanabi had stared out earlier, Neji assumed a stoic position and put on an air of nonchalance.
"I have taken nothing from Hinata-sama."
Hanabi's eyebrows rose in surprise.
"Who said I was talking about Hinata?"
Neji wanted to kick himself.
Idiot…
As a rather disturbing idea formed in her mind, Hanabi pricked her index finger along each of the fork prongs, her eyes continually on her older cousin.
"Be careful of what you say, Nii-san," she ominously warned. That look on her face… thin smirk, slit eyes, piercing gaze.
…so scary.
In reality, it was more like a threat laced with a smile to Neji. He started to explain himself, but was interrupted by someone rushing into the kitchen.
"H-H-Hanabi-chan!" Hinata desperately called as she ripped open the refrigerator, "is t-there any c-c-cake left?"
"Yes! Hinataaaa, I hate dieting!" Hanabi wailed as she stuffed another piece of cake in her mouth.
"M-me too, Hanabi-chan, me t-t-too," she sympathized as she pulled the cake out of the refrigerator. She noticed Neji sitting across from Hanabi and immediately regained her sense of formality.
"I'm s-s-sorry, Nii-san. Would y-y-you like s-some too?" she asked, her head lowered.
"No thank you, Hinata-sama. I could not take anything more from you."
Hinata's head rose back up in confusion as Hanabi frowned at the older boy.
"Neji-nii-san," Hanabi quietly spoke, "you say it so weirdly."
The smile returned to her face as Neji stood to leave.
"Thieves cannot give back what they steal, Neji-nii-san." she enigmatically whispered as he went out the door, "They will be caught and punished anyway."
Hinata looked down at Hanabi as Neji left the kitchen in a hurry.
"H-h-he's weird, Hanabi-chan? You're w-w-weird."
Hanabi brushed her sister's words aside.
"I want more cake!"
So the wind blew and whistled and snapped the trees in half.
"Neji-kun, I must have a word with you," Hiashi commanded as he laid a hand on his nephew's shoulder.
"Yes, Hiashi-sama," the younger boy answered politely, almost stiffly.
Neji, in a rare moment, was nervous. He wasn't afraid of blood, gore, screaming, or pain, but he was afraid of Hiashi. This man had been the source of all the hate and terror in his life, though it had somehow been reconciled by time and Hinata. Still, Neji was uncomfortable, and not without good reason.
Both men seated themselves at Hiashi's desk, and sat in a few moments of uneasy silence.
"Neji-kun," Hiashi grunted, reaching his arm across the desk to place a hand on his nephew's shoulder, "you must know that the entire is family is very proud of you."
Neji, a little freaked out by the contact, remained staring for a few seconds before quickly bowing his head in modesty.
Why is he touching me…?
Hiashi sensed the young boy's discomfort and removed his hand, coughing to hide the awkwardness of it all.
"We must also congratulate you on your excellent work with Hinata. She has improved immensely, and I am pleased."
"You give me too much credit, Hiashi-sama."
"No, no, Neji-kun, you are an excellent teacher. You may even have to show me how you get such outstanding results."
Thinking back on his previous training sessions with Hinata, Neji decided that he would rather not.
Hiashi picked up a few pieces of scattered paper on his desk and neatly stacked them. As he watched the papers transform into one uniform column, a feeling of dread settled over Neji. Something was wrong.
"However," Hiashi continued, his voice a little more serious, "I have recently learned that you have been taking Hinata out to train at night."
Neji's heart fell into his stomach. His breathing momentarily stopped, and his hands gripped the arms of the chair. It was over. Everything was over. They found out. Things would end and it would never be the same and there wouldn't be smiles or sweets or sighs and she would never look at him anymore…
It was over.
"Neji-kun, please understand me. I do not doubt that you made a good choice as a teacher, but I cannot have Hinata tired in the mornings. I'm sure you train very hard during this time due to the coolness of the night, but I need Hinata awake during the day so that she may fulfill her daily duties."
His heart lifted a little. Maybe Hiashi-sama didn't know after all.
"I understand, Hiashi-sama. Hinata-sama will not go out at night. Is that all?"
Hiashi nodded and waved the boy out with his hand, his eyes seemingly older than ever. Neji stood to leave, his heart pounding in his chest in a strange mixture of relief, fright, and anxiety. His limbs felt like jelly, and his nerves melted and pooled around him.
"Neji-kun," Hiashi called hoarsely as Neji set one foot across the threshold.
"Please do not hurt her anymore."
So the ground opened up its million mouths and swallowed the storming seas.
Hinata sighed and buried her head into the springy mattress of her bed as she heard the sound of her name reverberate throughout the entire household.
Hanabi…
"Hinataaaaaa!" came the second wail, much more sorrowful than the first.
Flipping onto her stomach, Hinata dangled her upper body over the mattress and reached under the bed. Feeling carefully, she searched for that special something that they were going to need. Feeling the cool metal outside, she clutched it tightly and pulled it out. Just as she was about to open the small tin, Hanabi came running in, panting hard and nearly crying.
"H-H-Hanabi-chan? What's w-w-wrong?"
Hanabi threw herself into the arms of her awaiting sister, gasping to keep back tears.
"There was this boy at the academy today…"
"Oh no," Hinata whispered softly, knowing exactly where this was going. Suddenly, Hanabi's mood changed, her hair was tossed back, fists were on hips, and her nose was haughtily in the air. She was the picture of defiance.
"I hate men!" she viciously snarled while trying not to let her voice crack. Hinata laughed.
"I-Is that so, H-hanabi-chan?"
Hanabi said nothing and collapsed back onto the bed. Using both hands, she took the tin Hinata was holding and popped the lid off with her thumbs. Her eyes met with a few dozen multicolored sweets, especially good and used only on special occasion. Figuring that now was the appropriate time, Hanabi took out a bright green candy and slid it in her mouth.
Hinata mimicked Hanabi's action and sat in silence with her sister.
"So…so w-w-what happened?" Hinata suddenly asked.
"It wasn't anything really, it was just….just… Hinata? What is a good guy supposed to be like?"
Hinata laughed again.
"H-H-Hanabi-chan, that wasn't r-r-really an answer."
Hanabi just shrugged and motioned for her sister to answer the question.
"W-well, okay. If you i-i-insist."
Unbeknownst to the two Hyuuga women, there was another party eavesdropping on their conversation. Neji was seated outside the bedroom door, hair over his shoulder, and ears intently listening. Had Hanabi not beaten him to Hinata's room, he would probably in her place, sitting with Hinata, asking questions and looking for reassurance.
Is it wrong, what we're doing? Is it disgusting? Is it sick?
Am I sick?
Are you frightened, Hinata-sama?
Do I frighten you?
You frighten me.
What do I do?
For now, all he could do was listen and find out.
"T-the perfect g-guy is t-t-tall."
Neji proudly checked "tall" off his mental list of traits.
"Um, he's c-c-clean and o-organized."
Check again.
"Hinata! The guy you're describing just sounds boring!" Hanabi cried, "Tell me the good stuff!"
Hinata ran a hand through her hair and laughed sheepishly.
"S-S-Sorry, Hanabi-chan. Okay, l-l-let's see….ah! He's g-g-got to be drop-dead g-g-gorgeous."
Neji rather unashamedly checked that off.
"And he h-h-has to t-tell you t-t-that you're beautiful….e-e-every day."
No check this time.
"Oh, and he h-h-has to s-s-say 'I l-l-love you' at l-l-least twice a d-day."
No check this time either.
"H-he shouldn't b-b-be ashamed to h-hold your h-h-hand or anything in p-p-public."
Damn…
"Um….he should always be g-g-g-gentle."
Double damn…
"He should n-n-n-never cause you p-p-pain."
"Emotional or physical?" Hanabi piped.
"Neither, of c-course."
This was getting ugly for Neji.
"L-last thing." Hinata told to an attentive Hanabi, "He s-s-should never force y-y-you to do a-a-anything you d-d-don't want to do."
Neji felt sick listening to what Hinata said. Apparently, he was everything she didn't want, and probably everything she didn't need. His heart thumped in his ears, and today suddenly became the worst day of his life.
But she was right, he decided. The only good things to be said about him were superficial and stupid. He had dragged her into this dark, twisted relationship, only caring about his feelings and never hers. He didn't even know if she enjoyed being with him, or if it was just because he had pressured her and frightened her so. He had taken advantage of her, he knew she was weak. Yes, Neji concluded, he was an abysmally malicious monster.
"Okay, Hanabi-chan? B-b-better?"
Hanabi sighed and pushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
"Hinata… that kind of guy doesn't exist."
Hinata sat in shocked silence for a few moments. She had never thought about that before…
"I s-s-suppose you're r-r-r-right, Hanabi-chan. That's why i-i-it's called a dream g-g-guy."
Hanabi and Hinata passed a few more minutes in silence, thinking about what Hinata had just proclaimed. It was quite the spirit-dampening truth.
"Um…I'll g-got get us some i-i-ice cream or s-s-something," Hinata quietly spoke, her voice devoid of any energy.
"Alright," Hanabi answered, mirroring Hinata's tone.
Hinata pushed herself up off the bed and silently stepped onto the cold floor. She padded her way across the room and through the door. As she closed the door, she suddenly found herself pinned to a wall by the shoulders. A rough kiss ravaged her lips and angry (or sorrowful) hands threaded themselves into her hair. She closed her eyes tightly and waited for the assault to end.
As Neji pulled away, he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and frowned. He was right. She hadn't responded to him, only pressed her body away from him and into the wall. Hinata in turn opened her eyes and covered her mouth, pointing to the shut door and indicating that someone was nearby.
"They'll s-s-see," she half pleaded, half warned.
Neji's fists clenched as he realized what he had to do. They would never be liberated if he didn't do it now. Freedom never came without a price.
"Hinata-sama," he murmured, placing his lips next to her ear.
"We stop now."
Hinata's eyes grew wide and filled with tears. A hurricane of emotions ran through her body, destroying every thought she had, and her hands immediately flew to cover her mouth. A lump formed in her throat, but Hinata knew she could not cry, she wouldn't. She refused to cry.
"Nii-san," she spoke, trying to steady her voice, "if that is what you wish, then so be it."
Neji walked away, silent and falsely calm. His fists were still clenched, and his jaw was still trembling, but his head was high and he walked in great, loping strides.
His heart felt as if it had been stabbed when he realized that she hadn't stuttered once when she had accepted their parting.
So the world broke into a million sea-glass shards, stabbing their palms and slicing their fingers. As the fiery earth-blood covered their hands, they knew. They knew that it was over. They knew that this was the end.
Eek! Now that I think about it, I won't be home for most of July! That means no access to a computer! Which means no updates!
Well, I suppose that's lucky for you guys, because I'll try to finish this story before I leave. That means a lot of updates. Don't forget to review and inspire me!
