Lori's body was stiff and aching when she woke up, and yet she had slept unusually deep and well. The bruises of the previous day would only hurt more today, she realized… Oh damn Loki… What time was it? It felt too late in the day… She jumped up and immediately grunted in pain. Her eyes fell on the clock and she let out a scream.
"SHIT!"
That woke Loki up inside her. The god caught her panic, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
"What happened this time, mortal?"
He maybe liked her now, but that didn't mean he couldn't refer to her as "mortal", especially when she woke him in such an unpleasant manner. Lori exclaimed.
"I'M THREE HOURS LATE FOR SCHOOL!"
Loki wished he could cover his ears. Damn mortal females and their powerful voices… He checked the clock and noticed the yellow post-it note stuck to it. Grumpily he inquired.
"What's that yellow thing?"
"What yellow thing I have to get ready they're gonna… oh… That yellow thing."
Lori stopped freaking out for a moment as she noticed the post-it note and pulled it off the clock radio. In her father's scribbly handwriting it read.
"Dear Lori, you were sleeping so deep and I guessed you could use your rest after yesterday. Called you in sick and turned off your alarm. Enjoy a day at home! Love, Dad."
"Oh."
"Does this mean you woke me for no good reason, Mortal?"
"Oh, Puny is having a morning mood…"
"I'm not the one who was screaming just a second ago."
Lori supposed that was fair. Now the immediate stress reaction faded, she felt her body again. She moaned as the aching in her stiff and bruised muscles became apparent once more.
"Damn… That shit hurts…"
From what she could see, her whole body was covered in bruises. There even was a very revealing footprint-shaped bruise on the back of her left thigh. If her dad saw that one…
"Thank you very much Loki Laufeyson. I really needed a different skin colour."
Once again Lori's voice was laced with a serious dose of poisonous sarcasm. Loki frowned internally, not understanding exactly she was going on about.
"What in the Nine are you talking about, Mortal?"
"Well Puny, you know what you get when you cross pale skin with combat boots?"
"Err…"
"Blue skin."
Now that was an unfortunate coincidence of the worst kind. Loki winced; the words 'blue' and 'skin' in the same sentence tended to make him feel uncomfortable. He glanced at Lori's arms and legs.
"You're not blue."
"Duh. Ever seen a completely blue person? This is bad enough…"
Again Loki winced. He needed to change the subject, and fast.
"I am hungry mortal. Go find food."
"Yay, back with the commanding. I'm not your slave, Puny. First I'm going to assess the damage."
And Loki had to endure facing the mirror once more, a mirror that almost certainly would betray his expression of absolute discomfort to Lori… Lori's face was looking even worse than the day before, but still Loki let out a relieved sigh. It wasn't… well. It wasn't the image he had feared to see. Lori wasn't so relieved. She sighed deeply.
"Wow. Hello Elephant Man."
"Who is this elephant man you keep referring to?"
"Just think ugly and deformed, that sort of covers it."
"This is not deformed… I've seen worse."
By example looking at his own mirror image that fateful day he had discovered… No. Don't think about that. No thinking about…
"Loki, you look like you ate a shoe."
"Huh?"
"Sorry, that was just the only thing I could come up with to describe your expression."
"Oh."
Lori sighed and looked again at her bruised face. One half was swollen and coloured in all tones of blue, purple and yellow, and one eye socket was all puffy and red. Just looking at it hurt… Apparently Loki thought the same about it; his face had once again turned to that expression of disgust she had come to hate so much…
"Seriously Loki, don't look like that. I know it's disgusting but please don't look as if you're going to throw up I feel bad enough like this!"
Loki really wished Lori would just turn away from the mirror. All that talk about blue, deformed and disgusting had pulled up way too many memories he would rather suppress.
"If I promise to lessen your injuries, will you please turn away from the mirror?"
He caught Lori's sad glance, but she still obliged.
"Fine. As long as you do something about this I'm okay with it."
"You will be required to lie down."
Lori walked back to the bedroom and lay down on the bed. For a moment she felt nothing, but then there was an odd tingling sensation in her bruises, almost as someone was carefully stroking them. It would have been awkward if Lori had been aware enough to think it through… however with the soft touch she also felt her mind grow foggy and slow. It was pleasant, and Lori felt how her whole body relaxed to the strange mental touches. Her mind wandered, and soon her head filled with vague images and thoughts that weren't hers. She was too drowsy to concentrate on any of them; she just let the images slide through her head like a stream. Somewhere in a conscious corner of her mind, she realized they must be things coming from Loki's thoughts.
Lori saw strange things, colours and shapes she couldn't place, and occasional faces. Men mostly, there was a blonde guy that somehow looked familiar and an old guy with an eye patch who gave her some very contradictory emotions, and the most prominent… was Loki's face. Loki's face while it was… could it be… blue? Lori was too hazy to think about it, and the image disappeared again. But the way he had looked, so completely hopeless and angry and disgusted… That remained burned on her mental retina.
Finally she lost consciousness completely, falling into a deep sleep. Still, in her dreams that tormented blue face didn't leave her…
(Pagebreak)
Loki felt Lori had slipped away, and he found himself hoping she would have a good rest. The bruises in her face would have faded almost completely, save for a little bluish hue around her eye perhaps, and the stiffness of her body would have been lessened a lot as well. He wondered again about the young mortal female he shared a body with. Treating her injuries had awakened his anger again, the anger he still didn't understand completely. He had known this mortal for a few weeks now, yet he didn't think he had ever felt quite so vengeful in his long life before. Except perhaps in cases that concerned himself. But then, he had reason to be vengeful… didn't he? Loki wished he could just dismiss the thoughts and feelings like he had done for centuries… but there was something about this mortal body that forced him to feel. In this body he couldn't ignore sentiment… Thoughts of how he would make those mortal oafs suffer and beg put a grin of utter satisfaction on his face. There was no denying that he loved to cause his share of pain in the world… but the thought of Lori being grateful was an even stronger motivation this time.
(Pagebreak)
Lori was standing in front of the mirror, wearing the green wrap dress. It was still as beautiful as it had been back in the store, but Lori looked… insecure.
"You're sure?"
She had been overjoyed to see that the worst visible reminder of her encounter with the angry boyfriends was just a vague blue hue in her face and the remnants of a footprint on her thigh… but Loki's plan to wear the green dress on her off-day as well so she could get used to it already made her feel a little self-conscious. It did show a lot more skin than anything else she'd ever worn…
"I'm sure. But please take your hair out of that ponytail. I thought you washed it?"
Loki sounded a little annoyed, but Lori knew he wasn't mad at her. She could tell from the amount of times he called her "mortal" with various degrees of derision how annoyed he was with her. So far she hadn't been doing too bad… She pulled the scrunchy out of her hair and let her long red curls cascade over her shoulders. It looked too feminine for her usual getup…
"I hate my hair."
"Save your hate for better recipients. Your hair is good enough little mortal."
Lori scowled at that, but didn't comment.
"So, it's okay now?"
"First rule of battle, mortal. If you go to it with the air of a defeated, the odds of glory are small."
"Err…"
"Your stance. Stand straight, don't slump and don't stare at the floor."
Lori followed Loki's orders, straightening her figure. Loki nodded approving in the mirror.
"Much better."
"What now?"
"Food."
Now that was a command after Lori's taste. She made her way downstairs and opened the fridge.
"What shall we eat?"
"Hmm…"
Before Loki could answer, they heard the sound of the front door opening.
"Baby carrot, I'm home! You awake already?"
Mr Lauritsen's voice bellowed through the house. Lori rolled her eyes and whispered to Loki.
"If I weren't already, I would be now… That oaf."
Loki couldn't suppress a chuckle. The amount of times Thor had burst into his room and yelled for him to wake up so they could go on an adventure… at 6 am… were numerous…
Lori grabbed some things to eat and encountered her father in the kitchen.
"Hi dad."
She smiled shyly, knowing that her father was scrutinizing her with his eyes.
"Wow… Lori… is that a new dress?"
Lori smiled.
"Yeah. You like it?"
"Oh sure… I just thought… You know… I thought you would keep such clothing for when you're… you know…"
Lori's smile faltered. The way he had pronounced "such clothing" told her enough, not to mention the unspoken end of the sentence. I thought you would keep from dressing feminine and sexy until you're not fat anymore. Loki was quick enough to take over before Lori could lash out at her father. He granted the man a wide, slightly evil smile, pushed his 'front' up a bit and said.
"Well, I have no problem with my body. Do you?"
That made Mr Lauritsen stutter a non-intelligible excuse, and he made sure he was out of the kitchen as fast as possible. Loki granted control back to Lori, who slumped on a chair and silently cried.
"It's always the same. Every time I feel like I did something right he has to make me feel bad and the worst is that he doesn't even do it on purpose!"
"Lori."
"I will never be good enough for him. No matter what I do it doesn't matter because I'm fat, and fat is like… the annihilator of all good deeds!"
"Lori!"
"I can never be a good daughter because I'm fat…"
"Will you shut up and LISTEN for a moment you goddamned Mortal!?"
That made Lori stop her little act of self-pity. She sniffed but shut up, and Loki started talking.
"You are your own person. You don't wear that dress because you want to please your father; you wear it because you think it's beautiful! Not everything you do is about getting approval from that oaf! In fact, it doesn't even matter what he thinks, the only thing that matters is what you think! Do you really think throwing a tantrum or wallowing in self-pity is going to make him like you more? The only way you can earn someone else's respect is when you respect yourself!"
That was… a remarkably unusual speech coming from Loki. The moment the words had left his mouth he realized how paradoxical they were. Lori clearly noticed as well.
"You… you're not really good at following your own advice, are you?"
Loki sighed.
"What do you know, Mortal."
It was meant to sound villainous, but somehow it sounded more resigned than anything else. It was Lori's turn to talk now.
"Well, you tried to conquer a planet for respect. I'd say you're not one to speak."
"That's different."
"How exactly?"
"You're mortal."
"So? Are you not your own person because you're a god? Should you not respect yourself?"
Loki didn't know what to say. By shouting out that pile of advice to Lori he had opened another hatch of sentiment that had better remained closed…
"You wouldn't understand."
"Who says I wouldn't?"
"Your father's judgement of you is based on insignificant characteristics of appearance. You do deserve respect. Whereas I…"
"Don't say you don't deserve respect. Your adoptive dad is an asshole and he humiliated you for being a trickster, that doesn't make you a lesser person!"
Loki shook his head internally.
"There is more."
"Then tell me! I want to understand…"
"Go to the mirror."
Lori obliged and went to the toilet mirror. She startled a bit when she saw Loki, he looked nothing like his cocky old self she had gotten so used to… He bit his lip and willed his illusionary skin-color away. It was almost as if Lori could feel her mind growing colder. A vibrant blue, adorned with strange markings, replaced Loki's pale skin…
"Wow."
"Can you see it now, Mortal? Can you see now why I am not worthy of being respected?"
'You're blue."
"When I told you I was of an enemy people… I lied. You have enemies, and you have frost giants. Frost giants are the scum of the nine realms."
Suddenly a lot becomes clear to Lori. Standing in the small toilet space, staring at Loki's blue complexion, she suddenly understands it.
"That's it, isn't it? You weren't looking for respect from your father. All this talk about being greater than us, and despising mortals… You're still trying to convince yourself you deserve respect, isn't it?"
Loki scowls, but in his deep red eyes Lori sees she hit the sore spot.
"Why do you think you don't deserve respect?"
"I knew a mortal as yourself wouldn't understand."
Loki's answer to everything uncomfortable is being derisive, so much Lori has learned in their time together.
"I may not know about this whole blue skin thing, but I know racism when I see it. You know here one earth we used to have shit like that too? White people saying that people with black skin were nothing more than animals, monsters only good as slaves? That's bullshit, Loki. It's bullshit for whites and blacks, and the same goes for blue skin."
"Why are you trying so hard to convince me?"
Lori thought about that for a moment.
"You told me yourself that being fat is not a reason to be disrespected, and that I have to accept and respect myself first if I want to gain anyone's respect. To me, fat and skin colour aren't so different, Loki. It's both just the outside."
Loki wanted to hear those words more than anything, and at the same time he fought them. He had never thought that anything coming from a slightly overweight mortal female would stir something inside him, but for some reason when she said those words it meant more than when Thor of Frigga said them. She understood, on a much more basic level, even though she had no knowledge at all of frost giants and their history with Asgard.
"I… I can't… Why do you do this to me, mortal?"
"Because you did the same for me."
Loki knew honesty when he heard it; he wasn't the god of lies for nothing… and somehow that just made it all worse. Lori felt his agony and softly patted him in her mind.
"It's okay, you know…"
"No it's not."
"Fine, maybe it's not. But sometimes things have to be less than okay first to become more than okay later. It's like a curve, I think."
"You make no sense mortal."
"Friends don't have to make sense."
"You consider me… a friend?"
Lori grinned.
"Dude. You've seen me naked, insulted and nicknamed me, brought me in trouble, yelled at me, cared for my injuries and spilled your guts to me. Of course you're my friend."
Loki decided mortals had a bizarre idea about friendship. As he felt Lori's small mental arms around him in a slightly awkward hug, he decided he didn't mind.
(Author's Comments)
Okay, I promised revenge, but I had to get this over with first before it could work. Sorry. I have already written the revenge part (and Loki kicks ass, seriously), so I can tell you with certainty it will be in the next chapter. Anyway! Loki is forced to come to terms with his Jotun-ness, as much as Lori is forced to come to terms with her fat. It's not solved yet, but it's a beginning...
Let me know what you think, I LIVE ON REVIEWS! Please, the more you review the better I feel and the more I write. Also, the next part is written already, so the more you review the faster I'll upload it!
PLEASE REVIEW I GIVE YOU COOKIES!
Cookies to: no-MY name's Anonymous, Tiryn, AvengersGirl-LokisSpy and Rubi Yuki! I love you guys!
