Authors Note: Still don't own any of the twilight characters, SM does.

As the world continues to turn…

The roar and pounding of the water surrounded me; the silt, disturbed by the torrent of

the water, scratched every orifice of my body; my ears, eyes, nose were all irritated from months of invasion.

Daylight, and then darkness continues to surround me.

When the green moss became too much of a nuisance I'd move my body ever so slightly causing the water to savagely tear away the moss from my body; new moss would then begin to grow in another part of my body, somewhere more sheltered from the raging water surrounding me.

Pictures of Bella would flood my memory, causing grief so deep I truly felt my whole being would tear apart. Utter agony spread through me, causing my body to spasm and I would curl into a small ball and wait on the pain to dissipate enough to allow me a small period of respite from my despair. Finally, I found myself slipping…

Darkness.

Motionless.

Thoughtless.

Lifeless; my life now; my future; my end.

Until…

Last Week

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I said coldly

"You……don't…want me?" she stammered, confused.

"No"

"You're not good for me, Bella."

Over and over those words still haunted my mind; taunting me with their cruelness. I had no-one but myself to blame. I had caused this, and so I deserved the subsequent agony.

The light shone, filtered through the hazy greenness covering my eyes. Daylight permeated through the waters, proof that I had endured another long bleak, dark night. Which day or which month I did not know; nor did I care. To me, it meant it was one more day that she had survived, safely away from me.

For months, time had passed in a state of abeyance. My meager existence had comprised of dark empty nights and just as lonely murky days. The roar of the falls kept most of the other sounds of this meaningless world away from me. I did not hear the thoughts of the humans who came to see the falls even though I knew that they came, took pictures and then left again. Hiding in the waters, I did not breathe and so could not smell the blood that would have caused me to leave this watery grave.

I had not crawled from the bottom of the falls in months; I hunted only when it became impossible for me not to; I think it was ten, fifteen or perhaps even twenty weeks ago since I had last moved from my stony tomb. Each time I became weaker before I would venture out onto land to hunt. That last time however, on my return to my hovel I found a congregation of alligators residing on the bank. They were too close and frankly, I did not think I could garner the strength required to defeat the whole brood. Instead I chose to move to the other side of the falls. The "view" was the same, the silt just as annoying; the deafening roar still provided my escape from reality. My mind seemed more alert though, and my visions of…her more profound.

My body had green moss on the parts that were protected somewhat from the relentless battering from the water as it fell from the heavens above down onto my lifeless body below. Attempting to pummel me with its power; to grind away at me, treating me no different from any other inanimate rock found here, the water strived to erode me into tiny particles of fine silt and then sweep me on down the river. However, the weight and pressure felt like nothing more than the mere electrical impulses one associates with a tens machine on a human. An anomaly of nature; that was the only way I could think to describe myself.

I had resigned myself to remain at the bottom of the falls until it was time to go to the Volturi. I had felt my mind slowly deteriorate each day as I hid here away from everything. Even a monster such as I needed company; required stimulation, required a family. My destiny had been changed, my family was lost to me and I felt myself slowly die inside with every day I remained in my self imposed isolation.

Today, that all changed. One single thought had changed that. Others had come too close to me. Not humans this time; but ones like me. They had spoken of their desires. They were on course to Forks Washington to destroy the only reason for my existence; my Bella.

No! I screamed; I roared and yet this was all inside my head; I had not moved from the bottom of the falls in months. I cursed myself for the idiocy of my selfishness; I couldn't believe how much I had allowed myself to deteriorate this time; I was slow to move, clumsy in my attempts to leave this pit. I was pathetic; pathetic but determined. I would get out! I would rise, just like the phoenix, to protect my love and to wreak havoc and destruction on those who would dare to threaten her idyllic life. My heart sprung to life at the thought that I would be able to see her again, to breathe her. I knew I would need to stay hidden, un-noticed by her, but I could do that. Couldn't I?

I moved slowly from the river-bottom to the shore and then moved unsteadily into the trees not stopping until I was deep into the forest. Unable to do much more than stumble; I fed off the small lizards and snakes that slithered in the undergrowth here. How I wished that the myth of the twins Kuarahy and Jasy were true and that I could find Mboi jagua; the giant snake of their myth. I am sure that it would restore my strength to me immediately!

Instead I had no choice but to take it slow. Without the strength to fight some of the larger predators like the alligators I had to be content with the smaller creatures. I knew this meant it would take longer to get the strength to begin my journey back. I castigated myself for not realizing the importance of maintaining my strength. I clearly hadn't thought anything through at all. Even if I had no intention of returning to Forks and to … her, I would still have required some strength to be able to go to the Volturi. What was I thinking? How on earth did I end up here? It was incomprehensible to me.

Day after day I made my trek north. Without the speed and strength I used to have, I was unable to move around as much during the day; unless I was hidden deep within the forests or mountains where no humans would come across my path. As my strength began to return, I was able to feed on larger animals; wild dogs, wild cats until finally I was able to catch a mountain goat. Moving north through Bolivia, Brazil, Peru and Columbia I became stronger, my fury became deeper and my resolve to destroy all threats to my Bella became my primary focus.

Part of my brain asked "What then?" but this was not a question I has any answers for. I knew I did not intend to allow myself to return to the shadow of my former self. I was ashamed at what I had done; how could I justify falling so far? What would I tell Carlisle? Esme? My family?

My family!!

How could I forget? They must be told, I had to contact them! Of course, I had nothing; no money, no cell phone but I would find a way to call them. It was dusk when I found myself on the outskirts of Yaviza, Panama. Rather than avoid the town altogether I went in search of a house with a phone. My third attempt proved fruitful, and finally I located a phone. However, no matter how much I willed the operator to be successful, no matter how beguiling I tried to sound, my call to the States did not go through. I dropped the headset into the cradle too hard sending both the telephone and side table to the floor in a pile of broken pieces and wood. Hearing sounds from the upstairs floor I made my escape through the broken door, anxious to be on my way, I would try again in another town further north.

As I ran through the night I called out with my mind to Alice. I prayed that she would somehow sense me and see what I was doing. I asked God to watch over my Bella begging him to ignore the fact I was a monster and not worthy of his time, and do this for her, my human love.

Several failed attempts to contact my family throughout the next day as I ran through the countries of Panama and Costa Rica only added to my frustration over the time it was taking me to make Bella safe. I cursed myself over and over for the time I had to take to stop and hunt. My body having been denied nourishment for so long demanded that I feed regularly to be able to continue on this quest. For once, I actually felt empathy for the humans for their dependence on regular feeding, how debilitating this was!

Daylight on my fourth day found me outside the city of Granada, Nicaragua where I was forced to stop. There were just too many humans close for me to be able to continue my journey without being seen. In the past, the mere fact that humans would see would not have stopped me continuing my journey, but not now. For once I was scared; this weakened state frightened me and I wasn't sure I would actually be able to get away from the humans who would soon surround me if I were to step into the sunlight. Frustration swept over me as I was forced to find a small cave, high in the hilltops overlooking the city and wait on the Twilight to descend once more. Walking in an endless circle inside the cave, I tried to think; to plan.

I laughed when I realized that the forefinger and thumb of my right hand were on the bridge of my nose; a humanistic trait that I had carried with me into this cursed life of the vampire. The laugh was startling to me; it was the first time I had heard my own voice since I had left my family many months ago. It sounded so strange.

"Hi" I chuckled as my voice echoed around me.

"It's me. Edward" I replied then snorted as I realized how foolish this was.

I crouched towards the back of the cave and found my senses becoming overwhelmed with memories of my past life; the decades shared with my family, watching as it grew from just two people to the brood of vampires that lived in Forks. For the first time since I had left, my memories of Bella did not incapacitate me; I could recall her smile as she saw me, her blush as I touched her rosy white skin with something other than feelings of despair. A flicker, no a flame of hope had been lit inside me, and I was grateful for that.

"Alice, look for me, see me help me. I need you!" I muttered over and over as I waited for the twilight hour to descend. The sky was changing and so I knew it would only be a few hours until it would safe for me to leave this cave.

As the sky above began it's transformation into night, I left the shallow cave and began my descent from the hillside. Breaking briefly from my quest to feed on a stray billy-goat I continued on my trek north. The towns and cities I passed by were nothing more than a blur to me; my one focus was only on getting to Forks. By avoiding towns and cities and staying in the mountainous areas I was able to continue my trek during the daylight hours of the following day.

Five days after my reawakening I stepped across the border into the United States of America. I had chosen a remote area of the Yuma desert miles from any of the immigration posts. My senses, albeit a little sluggish, were still enough to ensure that I did not go close to anywhere a guard might be. I had no identification on me and even though I knew I would be able to get away from any guards that might come into my path I preferred to avoid any confrontation; the time a confrontation would cost was time I did not want to lose. I had been fortunate to land on American soil not long after the sun had set and required all the time the night hours would give me to get as far north as I could; before the sun found me.

I ran deep into the desert, feeding on rattlesnakes and a lone coyote; just trying to get as far as I could before I would need to stop again. I made two stops on my journey, trying to get a call through to my family. Both were unsuccessful but I would not give up. As I ran I cried out to Alice, hoping that somehow, somewhere, she would see me and know that I was coming home.

Home.

How strange that I chose that word, but deep down it felt right. It was time. I would be able to return to my family after I had made Bella safe again. Yes! I would not retreat into myself again, I would lean heavily on my family for a while; allowing them to help me for a change. For once I would not be the protector; but the protected.

Finally I was able to make the call I so desperately wanted when I reached the small town of Ogilby. Of course, Alice answered before the phone had even rung.

"Edward! I'm so glad to hear from you, where are you?" she squealed. I heard voices in the background.

"Alice, there is not time for idle chit-chat I need you; I need you to help me. Go to Forks, Bella needs you. I overheard the thoughts of someone; I heard their plans to destroy her. You need to protect her. I am on my way and will be there as quick as I can."

"Oh Edward, we know, we are in Forks right now" she said quietly.

I gasped.

"Is she…can she…what…" I fumbled for the words, my world tilting on its axis. If it was in any way possible, I would assume that I was about to pass out. I held my breath. Waiting. The seconds felt like a lifetime before I heard her.

"Bella is alive Edward, we are watching her." I exhaled and the blackness threatening to envelop me moved back. "Where are you?" she asked.

"In Ogilby, Arizona but I will be there as soon as I can. I plan to find a car…"

"That's prefect!" she interrupted me. "Edward, go to Rolle airstrip in San Luis, it's smaller than Yuma, but big enough for a jet to land. A smaller airport won't ask too many questions. Emmett and Rose will meet you there! They have a private jet and are on their way home from Argentina. Hang on Edward, talk to Carlisle while I call their plane" and then she was gone.

"My son, it is so good to hear from you." Carlisle's voice sounded so welcoming, so warm and there was no hint of admonishment to his tone.

"I'm sorry Carlisle" I began but he interrupted me.

"You did what you had to do Edward. No-one thinks any less of you for that. There will be time to talk about your experiences, but for now we just want you to come back. We need you. Bella needs you."

"Edward? Emmett says their plane will be in San Luis, Arizona in two hours. Be in the trees towards the east of the strip. Emmett will find you and he will bring you back. I love you Edward, now go, I'll see you soon." Alice said then hung up muttering something about having to change her plans now that I'm coming back. I don't think she meant for me to hear that.

Hanging up the phone, I closed my eyes for a brief second, allowing the first feeling of hope to sweep over me. I turned away from the house I had entered and began to run; towards San Luis; towards my family and my future.

As I ran I chastised myself for all the questions I should have asked Alice but did not; why were they already in Forks? How did they know? Had they arrived in time? Had they destroyed the vampires who had threatened Bella? Who was responsible for that threat? Then I realized that Alice being Alice would have disregarded my demands and would have continued to look for Bella. As soon as there was any danger, Alice would have seen it and ensured Bella's safety. I sighed with relief, certain that Bella was safe.

I reached the rendezvous point within an hour. I could have been there within ten minutes, but as there was no need for speed I allowed myself to run only slightly faster than a human would. I was fortunate enough to remain hidden from the eyes of the humans who would pass close by.

"I wonder how he is? How will he take the news?"

"I need to remember to keep my thoughts hidden from him"

The thoughts of Rose and Emmett hit me at the same time as I heard the drone from the small jet. I watched as it circled the air-strip and then landed smoothly onto the tarmac. The door opened and the bulk of Emmett appeared through the doorway. My God! Was he always this huge? I could see why humans were in awe of him; he made a formidable sight and if it wasn't for the shit-eating grin on his face you would think him to be a barbarian.

"Hey bro!" he waved at me as he walked at a human pace down the stairs.

"Christ, he looks like hell. What on earth has he been doing? Has he looked in a mirror lately?" his thoughts belied his happy face.

"I've missed you man! I'm glad you decided to come home. Let's get going" clapping me on the back, lifting me off the ground he turned around towards the plane.

"Emmett! Put. Me. Down! I can walk by myself." I said through gritted teeth.

"Are you sure? You look kinda scrawny to me?" he said.

"Who's he kidding?" he thought "He looks even more fragile than a human boy; like he could be snapped like a twig. It's been as bad as I thought, he has crawled into a hole somewhere and wallowed." My growling stopped that train of thought.

"Sorry man, but it's true. You look fragile". Putting me on my feet again we walked to wards the plane. "Everyone is back in Forks Edward, waiting for you." With one arm around me shoulder he hugged me briefly then shouted "Last on board is a rotten egg!" and began to run.

I was last to the plane, I ran up the stairs close on Emmett's heels, and came face to face with my sister for the first time in almost two years.

"Edward" Rose said with a slight nod "nice to see you".

"Rose, you too" I said then sunk into the leather chair across from her.

We stared at each other as the plane took off, no-one spoke and I found even their thoughts were closed to me. Emmett was singing rap songs and Rose was going through a list of designers who would be at the winter fashion show being held in LA. This would have been normal for them; were it not for the fact that both that both were staring intently at me, waiting for something; an explosion.

"What?" I spat out unable to bare their stares any longer.

"You look like shit Edward." Rose exclaimed. "You need to do something before we land."

"I don't care how I look; I just need to get home. What happened Rose? Is Bella ok? Who tried to hurt her?" I asked whipping my eyes between Rose and Emmett.

"Edward, did Alice tell you anything?" Emmett asked, leaning forward towards me.

"Only that Bella was alive and safe."

"Edward, something happened; we don't know how or why but there was an attack…" as Emmett explained what he knew so far, which wasn't that much, I sat back and listened, with a look of utter desolation and disbelief on my face. A small seed of rage soon exploded inside me and I began to panic; to lose control in such a small confined space would do me no good at all. I had to focus!

I flinched when I heard him say my name. "What? She thinks I did it? That I would hurt her?" my tone was incredulous.

"She is confused Edward, she heard your voice but she didn't see anything. All she knows is she heard your voice telling her you had come back for her and then…well, nothing. Next thing she knows she is in hospital, in pain; scared and alone; her family either dead or missing and no idea what caused this." Emmett's voice faltered "Alice says that she cannot see Bella sometimes. We don't know what that means."

"I'm sorry Edward." Rose said. "We got there as soon as we could. Know that nothing will happen to Bella now; Alice will not leave her side and Carlisle is working on having her released from the hospital into our care." Rose took my hand into hers. I looked into her eyes and saw nothing but compassion and love. "We will find out what happened Edward, we will avenge her parents. We will make Bella whole again." She squeezed my hand harder.

"Listen to me Edward. I know you don't care what you look like. But Bella will. You cannot see her like this; you look like shit, a wild beast and you will frighten her if you go to her like this. You must do something. If not for yourself then at least think of what your appearance will do to her."

I knew she only spoke the truth. I looked down. I was clad only in what could have once passed as a pair of pants and nothing else. Dirt and small stones were trapped in my skin, the grime of many months clung to me and now that I was thinking of it, I could feel the grains of the riverbed silt in my ears and nose. I shook my head, not that it would improve things much.

"Here. Take these. I know they will be too big for you, but it's all we have. Use the time we have to try and clean some of the grime from your face. There are towels in the bathroom. Sorry that there is no shower on this jet, we didn't think we would need one." Rose handed me an outfit I recognized as belonging to Emmett and then nodded towards the back of the plane and the bathroom there.

"Thanks Rose" I said and she looked at me. The expression in her eyes changed and a small smile appeared on her face. I knew she understood; I knew she realized I was thanking her for much more than just the change of clothes she gave me.

We landed at the small airport outside Forks. I was not surprised. Usually we would land at Sea Tac airport and then take a car to Forks, but I was not the only one anxious to be back as soon as possible.

As the small plane bumped along the tarmac I was already out of my seat and at the door waiting until I could open it. I could see Alice and Jasper beside Emmett's white jeep and I was anxious to be surrounded by my family.

I leaped to the bottom of the steps and the tornado that was Alice slammed into me.

"Edward! Oh my god it's really you. I've missed you so much, I'm glad to have you home. Come we have to hurry! I only have an hour to make you presentable before Bella will be here." She squealed.

"Bella?" I stuttered, pulling back to look into her face. "What do you mean? Bella will be here? She is coming here? To the airport? Why?" I asked.

"No silly! She is coming home; where she belongs; with us. Carlisle is at the hospital just now, going over her release papers. Esme and I have been making up the spare room for her so that she will be comfortable. But we can talk about this in the car, we need to go! You need to shower and change clothes, you need to scrub your nails and…"

I let her speak, no longer paying attention to anything. My thoughts were filled with Bella. What could I say to her? How could I face her? Did she still blame me?

"Alice? Does she know that I will be there? Is she… is she afraid of me?" I asked quietly.

Alice just shrugged and said "She's been through a lot Edward; she is frightened and confused. She says she heard your voice but I think she knows you couldn't have killed anyone. You just need to be gentle Edward; gentle and patient. I can't see what will happen when you meet her again but I know it will be ok." She hugged me close and we sped through the rain towards the house as Jasper drove.

Jasper had said nothing more to me than a simple "Good to see you" but it was enough. Besides, I couldn't focus on anything other than the knowledge that I would be reunited with Bella. A myriad of emotions swept through me as I realized that I had not planned on this, but it did not matter.

In less than one hour I would see my Bella again!

Before I realized it, the car had stopped, and we had stopped outside the main driveway. Esme came running from the house, had my door open and me in her arms before I had a chance to move. She clung to me as I felt the sobs vibrate through her body.

"Edward! I'm so glad to have you home. Promise me you won't run away like that. I've been so worried about you; Carlisle too. We have missed you Edward, our family was not complete without you."

Before she had a chance to say anything more, Alice grabbed my arm and dragged me to the back yard. "Come Edward, you need to hunt first and then clean up." I began to protest but Alice would not allow me to speak. "Jasper and I drove a small herd of deer into the clearing on the other side of the river so it will only take you a few minutes. It's important that you hunt Edward; you know how Bella always worried about the circles under your eyes. No matter how you feel, you need to appear strong for her. She needs you."

Alice was right; Bella would notice the black circles under my eyes and would be worried for me. I had to do everything I possibly could to improve my current looks in the short time available before she arrived.

"Come Edward, I'll go with you" Jasper said.

"Me too! Let's race" Emmett said as he leaped across the rose garden and ran towards the river.

I do not recall how many deer I drank from, nor do I recall running home; all my mind could focus on was getting back so that I was there for Bella. When I arrived back at the house, Alice was at the bottom of the stairs, tapping her foot and scowling. "You have 20 minutes Edward. There are clean clothes on your bed, toiletries in your room. Now go!" and with that she shoved me up the stairs.

As I passed her she stuck her tongue out at me like a small child. I found myself chuckling and I was amazed at how much lighter; how much more alive I felt.

10 minutes later I was pacing back and forth across the porch, trying desperately to think about what I would say to Bella and wonder how she would react to me.

"Alice, you did call Carlisle and tell him to warn Bella I'll be here. Didn't you?" I asked.

"Of course I did Edward. I wouldn't want to cause any undue stress for her. I felt it was better for her to know ahead of time so she has a chance to prepare herself." She paused. "Don't worry Edward, she will be fine, everything will work out. But you need to remain calm. As much as you might want to, don't rush her and don't freak her out. You need to remain calm."

I just nodded.

"Promise me Edward, you will be calm, reserved and you will listen to me. If I think it's too much for Bella I will let you know. Promise me you will take heed and not disregard anything I might say or think?"

"I promise." And I meant it. However, part of me, the irrational part, wasn't sure that was a promise I could keep. I had no idea how I would react to seeing Bella. Even though I knew it was not possible, my stomach was churning and I felt as if I would throw up. I felt like a schoolboy waiting for his date to arrive. Would she be happy to see me? Would she hate me? What could I say to her to erase the hurt I am sure I caused her? Would she believe me when I told her how I truly felt? Would she let me back into her life?

Why oh why was time standing still? Where was Carlisle?

"Alice? When…" I stopped. I could hear the thrum of the car and then Carlisle's thoughts.

"Her heart is racing Edward, she is nervous and perhaps a little afraid. I think it would be a good idea to let her acknowledge your presence rather than you approach her. Let me bring her inside so that she can be seated on the sofa before she sees everyone. She is in a fragile state and I do not want to overwhelm her. Be gentle with her; remember to act human and walk slow! Welcome home son, it's good to have you back."

And with that thought, Carlisle pulled into the driveway and sound of her heartbeat filled my head and my cold dead heart kept beat. I meant to go inside, I truly did. But I could not move. I was transfixed on the sight before me. Without thinking of the consequences, I took a deep breath, leapt off the porch and moved to the passenger side of the car. I opened the door of the car and the sweet scent of my Bella filled the air, permeating my pores.

I held out my hand to her, offering her assistance from the car. My hand trembled, I saw her head turn towards me, in slow motion. She gasped and her heart began to beat so fast I thought it must surely hurt.

"Bella?" …

Authors Note: Well? What did you think? Leave me a review telling me what you thought of this.