Rachel woke in her bed the next morning and looked at the alarm clock on her end table. It was almost 11 AM. She knew she should get up but she decided to lie in bed for 5 more minutes before dragging herself from its soft comfort. Mom would be downstairs in the bar already and wouldn't need her until at least the early evening, so there was no rush.

Rachel felt a pleasant ache between her thighs and smiled at the memory of the cause of it. She stretched her muscles and allowed her mind to drift back to last night.

He'd told her everything. Things no one person should have to bear that weighed so heavily on him. The easing of it was almost tangible as he'd verbalized it to her, probably for the first time out loud. She'd tried everything she could to just remain silent, not judge or pity him (he wouldn't tolerate that well) and not scream out what a douche bag John Winchester was to do this to someone he was supposed to love and protect.

She'd just listened, which was what he'd needed. And after he bore his soul he'd needed something else, something more physical. The comfort of a soft body and a release of the tension that had been building up. She'd been more than happy to oblige him that as well for she herself had been craving him like a drug.

She'd made sure that the focus had been on him. She'd wanted to focus on him to ease away at least some of the crap he'd been dealing with. And what better way to do that than to make him shudder in response to her.

In her mind she replayed moments from last night as she lay there; his hands running down her back, the feel of his mouth on her nipples, looking up at him and seeing his head arched back in pleasure as her mouth moved over the most sensitive part of him.

She paused at that one thought and smiled. She could almost feel him against her lips right now as she thought about it. Hard yet velvety soft at the same time, she could feel his pulse throbbing in her mouth at times, the beat quick and steady and rising with each new level of pleasure she was able to bring him to as she ran her tongue against the head and sucked on him ever so gently, and then not so gently only to go back to gentle again.

Rachel felt her body begin to respond to the image. She pressed her thighs together as her core became a little more sensitive. If she continued thinking about the way she'd made love with Dean Winchester last night she was going to wind up laying in this bed and touching herself until she came. So instead she turned her thoughts to the more simple parts of last night.

They'd fallen asleep on the mats she and Kelly used as beds to have sleepovers in the tree house, their naked bodies pressed against one another and covered by one of the thick colorful comforters left over from her teen years.

They'd slept entwined for maybe an hour or so before waking. And when they had she'd whispered that they should get dressed and head back. He'd wrapped her in his arms in response and kissed her until she was breathless. Then he'd moved her under him again after taking a quick second to secure another thin rubber sheath over himself. It was then that he'd pressed his hardness into her again.

She arched in response to the thick member pressing into her tight center and sent a wave of ecstasy through her entire body. She pulled his full weight down onto her and loved the feeling of it as he's wrapped his arms around her and looked down into her eyes. She'd pressed her hands to his broad back and spread her knees as far as they would go to accept more of him into her.

He moved slowly. Long, languid strokes as he kissed her mouth then the line of her jaw down to her neck. She felt the muscles in his back flex under her touch as he moved. Pulling out slowly just to push back in as far as he would go just as slowly. She whispered his name into his ear and flexed her own hips up to meet every one of his strokes. Wanting nothing more than to make him feel as good as he was making her feel.

He'd been so passionate that second time, showing her just what a generous lover he was capable of being and it wasn't long before she was shuddering under him with release, breathing heavily into his ear and digging her nails into his shoulder as her body convulsed around him.

He'd quickened his pace just a little bit as she began to come. Looking down at her as she came and then kissing her softly as she floated down from the pinnacle of her orgasm to land back on Earth with him.

He came soon after. His whole body tensed as his hips jerked with real intent for the first time. She looked up at him and saw his eyes were shut against the onslaught of sensation that must have been running through him. She enjoyed watching him so venerable for a moment. So completely lost in her as he found his release, this one moment was when he belonged to her like she knew he never could outside of this act.

When it was over for him he leaned down over her, still buried deep inside, to rest for a moment and she relished the feeling of his hard body against her soft one. But it was in that quiet moment that she'd realized what she'd thought a second ago and chastised herself for it.

She told herself she'd best not think a thought like that again. Dean Winchester belonged to no one and this thing they did together now he'd done with countless women and would continue to do with other women. She wasn't special and she never would be.

She knew that. Accepted that. Was fine with it and still wanted him any way. Whatever role they fell into in each other's lives it would never be one where they were together. Hunting partners? Yes. Friends? Yes. Lovers? Most definitely. But never belonging to one another. She knew better than to expect that from him and while if she knew it was possible she might have felt differently but she knew it was never to be and was content to allow him to just be what he was right now and be happy with it.

Thoughts like the one she'd just had were dangerous when you knew it could never be. She promised herself she wouldn't think them again and felt better with herself when he'd finally moved his weight off of her and pulled out.

They dressed and headed down the ladder. He'd paused at the base of the tree to pull her into his arms once again and kiss her goodnight. She'd molded to him and kissed him back. Loving the feeling of his lips on her slightly swollen ones knowing that they were like that because of him kissing her mouth all night.

They'd gone their separate ways, she to her room and him to the garage. She'd fallen asleep almost immediately after her head hit the pillow.

Laying in bed now she tried not to think of that moment again. To stop herself she got up and showered. When she was dressed she went down stairs and poured herself some coffee which mom had left staying warm for her in the coffee maker and made some toast and jelly for breakfast. She wondered if the Winchesters were gone yet as she poured milk into her cup. They very well could have already spoken to Ash and left, she tried not to let herself be disappointed at the fact that she might not see Dean before he left.

When she finished her breakfast she headed out to the bar and tried to ignore the fact that she was glad when she walked in and saw Sam sitting at the bar talking to her mother.

"Morning Rachel." Sam said when she walked in.

"Morning Sam. You look much less like a little girl could kick your ass this morning." Rachel said as she walked behind the bar to begin restocking the dried beer glasses from last night.

"Yeah, it was rough last night." Sam agreed.

"How come you didn't tell me they were here Rach?" Ellen asked her daughter.

"You were asleep mom. I put them up in the garage, fed Dean and went to bed, there was no reason to wake you." Rachel said.

"Did I hear my name?" Came a deep voice from the back of the bar.

Rachel looked over and had to stifle the stupid smile that threatened to split her face and spill their secret to Sam and her mother. Dean, freshly showered and dressed in faded jeans and a flannel shirt came through the back doors and walked toward the bar.

He caught her eye and gave her the barest twitch of one of his eye brows. Something only she would know see and recognize as an acknowledgement of their time together last night. She reciprocated with a tiny hint of a smile back to him. That was unfortunately all the affection they could allow here in front of their family and it was enough.

"Yeah, I was just telling mom how much you loved her lasagna. Coffee?" Rachel asked.

"Please." He answered. "Yeah Ellen, that was some mean pasta. I hear crack was involved." Dean said. Rachel laughed as she poured his coffee from the urn behind the bar.

"Thank you and…what?" Ellen said with a frown.

"Nothing mom." Rachel said as she turned and set the steaming cup of black coffee on the bar in front of Dean. "Just a little joke we had last night."

Her mother studied her, her brown eyes questioning the way only Rachel knew they could be. She shrugged then and let out a breath. Her next words were breezy but pointed.

"Well, Sam and I have been here since this morning waiting for you both to crawl out of bed. Must have been a late night…...telling jokes, was it?" Mom said, her eyes fixed on Dean.

Her tone changed slightly on the last two words and it was very obvious that she knew more than she was letting on.

Fuck! Rachel thought, wondering if her mother knew or was just suspicious. Dean took the barest pause as he sipped the steaming coffee and then set it down.

He looked back at Ellen and gave her that smart ass crinkle of his eyes that always seemed to precede one of his comebacks.

"Well, I'm not sure about Rachel but I know I was all but dead after fighting the evil clown apocalypse you sent us on."

Rachel waited for Ellen to retort but instead she smiled. Who was this woman and what had she done with Ellen O'Conner?

"You boys did a hell of a job. Your dad would be proud."

"Thanks." Sam said, looking uncomfortable at the whole situation.

Just then the back door opened and Ash walked out with a bizarre looking laptop under his arm. Wires of every color stuck out in haphazard directions and in some parts you could see the circuits underneath.

"Where you guys been? Been waitin' for ya." He said to the Winchesters.

"We were working a job, Ash. Clowns?" Sam informed him.

"Clowns? What the f-"

"You got something for us, Ash?" Dean asked before Ash could let out his profanity.

"Come take a look." Ash said and set the laptop down on the table nearest them. Sam and Dean slid off their bar stools and sat at the table to get a better look.

Rachel minded her own business and finished putting the glasses away and then moved on to scouring the bar sink with a soft piece of steel wool.

The job was mundane and slowly killing her. Especially when there was a real live hunt being discussed not 3 feet away from her. But it wasn't her hunt; it was too personal to the people whose hunt it was for her ever to get involved unless she could offer something to it the way Ash could. She couldn't, but she wanted to feel the buzz of it if nothing else so she made sure she was within ear shot to hear what was going on between the three men.

She listened as Ash explained that he'd rigged the laptop to go off when certain signs collected together anywhere in the world. Omens of the demon that John had pattered in his journal and gave away the location of the yellowed eye son of a bitch.

Sam was in awe and didn't understand how a simple soul like Ash could know how to do something so complex. Rachel smiled inwardly and felt a jolt of pride as Ash explained he'd learned it at M.I.T.

All the while she stole glances at Dean as he sat there and listened to how Ash would help him find his mothers (and maybe now even his father's) killer and she felt an intense wave of gratitude for Ash in the middle of it all. She hoped her mad scientist/eccentric red neck would be able to help him.

"Okay. You give us a call as soon as you know something?" Dean said and rose to his feet.

That was it, they were leaving. Rachel felt a sense of disappointment but she shook it off. Best not to let feelings like that seep in.

"Si, si, compadre." Ash answered.

"Thanks for everything Ellen." Sam said.

"Now, you boys don't have to leave so soon now do you?" Ellen said walking around the front of the bar to stand before the two much taller men. "You know how comfortable my garage is already and how good my food is. I feel like I owe it to your Daddy to offer you at least one more night of hospitality."

"Thanks Ellen we appreciate that." Dean said. "But I got something I gotta finish."

The car. Rachel knew it by the tone his voice took.

"Okay." Ellen said and smiled.

She walked around them then and aimed her voice at Ash.

"Now that you're done fiddling in your room with that thing you can get back to your real job: Working for me and my bar. We got inventory to stock, get your skinny ass down in the basement right now."

"Yes Ma'am." Was all Ash said and followed her out of the back door toward the cellar.

Alone in the bar with Sam and Dean now, Rachel came around the front of the bar with a rag that she ran over the polished brass rail.

"Look like Ash is gonna be able to pinpoint this fucker for you guys. I'm glad he's able to help." She said.

"Yeah. Well, it's more than we had before we got here." Sam said.

"Sure is. I'm not good with computers like Ash but if there's anything I can do to help you know I'm here right?" She said looking deeply into Sam's eyes.

"I know, thanks Rachel." He said.

She embraced him then, he still had to almost double over to get his arms around her even when she was on the very tips of her toes. When they pulled away she looked up at him and contemplated the narrow features of his face.

Dean's words came back to her then as she looked at the younger Winchester. His eyes, so compassionate and warm and caring and open in his boyishly handsome face.

John was wrong. There was nothing in Sam that would warrant anyone, especially his own brother, ending him. Her heart ached just looking at him and felt an intense wave of just wanting this to be over for them.

Dean caught her eyes then. And she looked back at him knowingly. Sam misunderstood the look as them hoping for a moment alone and acted on it.

"I'll go load our stuff up into the car." He said to Dean.

Dean just nodded and Sam was gone a moment later.

She and Dean were alone in the bar. Time to say goodbye to him yet again.

"So, going to finish patching up your true love before Ash can get you a location on the demon?" She asked and hopped up to sit on the bar facing him.

"Yeah, I owe it to her. And nothing has made as much sense to me as working on that car for the last few months. She's become my happy place it seems."

Rachel contemplated him with narrowed eyes and stared back waiting for her reply. Before she could give it they both began chuckling at the very odd sentence he'd just voiced.

"I bet a shrink would love to get into your head for an hour." Rachel said.

"Believe it or not they wouldn't find much up there except for some Black Sabbath and the need for cheese fries." He said.

They laughed again and Rachel was happy for the ease they'd seemed to find with each other. No talking about where their "Relationship" was going, no awkwardness. She was grateful. Then he got serious again.

"Rachel I know I don't need to say it but I'm going to anyway, whatever I told you last night stays between us right?"

Rachel shook her head slightly.

"I don't even know what you're talking about right now." She said. "Of course, Dean. I would never make you sorry you told me anything."

"I know. Thank you." He said.

She felt his sincerity in those words. She knew how hard it was to say the things he did last night and maybe he was even sorry he did in the light of day. But all she could do was hope that she'd put him at ease in knowing that his secret was safe with her.

"So, am I going to see you again?" She asked.

"Would you like to?" He asked.

"I wouldn't hate it." She said honestly. "But as much as I'm starting to get itchy here I can't go any time soon. It'll kill my mother."

"So no more meeting up by accident or otherwise out there?" He asked.

"I'm slinging whiskey at least for a while it seems." She said. "That doesn't mean you can't stop in from time to time. I'll show you my tree house again."

He smiled when she did then. But then his face mellowed again and he looked at her with seriousness.

"I'm in no place to promise you anything right now Rachel. You know me well enough to know that I'm not myself right now. Don't get me wrong, last night was…."

"Needed." She finished for him and gave him a little smile to let him know that she didn't feel offended or used at all by his inability to commit to being her lover right now. She understood and hoped that he knew that.

"Yeah." He agreed. "In more way than just the obvious Rachel. Sam's been on me to talk to him but he can't know why I can't speak to him about. You do now and I needed that more than anything. But besides that….until this is over with…."

"Dean stop." She said softly. He looked up at her and she could see the guilt in his eyes. Guilt that didn't need to be there.

"You spent how long dancing around me when I was fucked up?" She asked rhetorically. "Why would you think that I wouldn't understand or do the same do the same when it's your turn to be fucked up?"

He studied her. She could see his brain working as he stared at her with those hazel eyes of his. What he said next took her a bit by surprise but in a good way.

"You're an awesome chick, you know that?" He asked.

She did her best to shrug it off even though inside she was as joyful as a girl being kissed for the first time by a boy she'd had a crush on forever.

"You're just figuring that out?" She asked with a fake air of arrogance.

He closed the distance between them then and wrapped his arms around her. She opened her knees and he slid between them to be able to pull her ask close to him as possible as he kissed her.

Her arms went around his neck and she relished in the feeling of his lips on hers, the closeness of him reminding her again of the closeness they'd shared last night.

"I'm here if you need me ok?" She whispered when he pulled away. "Don't ever not call me again unless you're dead."

"Only if I'm dead. I promise." He whispered back.

He pulled away from her altogether then and walked out the back of the bar without another word.

Rachel watched him go. When she was alone in the bar she looked around at her surroundings and wondered how she was going to be able to deal with just being a bar tender again after seeing him leave to hunt when she was ready to burst out of her skin before he'd come.

Knowing he was still out there and in fact not dead? She had no idea how long she would be able to tolerate it here anymore after this.