My brother comes in late, well after the witching hour. I don't bother faking sleep, I wouldn't fool him anyway. He kicks the shut behind him and glares at me. I roll my eyes from my perch on the dresser. I don't know why I'm sitting up here, but I feels natural.
"You should be asleep," he states, his features are stern and he looks like he could kill.
"As I said earlier, I slept all day," I crow. He frowns and takes a step toward me.
"It's past three," he continues as he shuffles out of his kefta.
"I know," I drawl. He brow furrows and his jaw ticks.
"Then you understand why I think you should sleep," he returns and grabs the bottle of kvas.
"What about you?" I question. He's already pouring a glass, which means he won't sleep for another hour at least. It's the routine of his that I memorized when I was five.
"You need more sleep," he answers. Suddenly I feel pent up rage flow through me like hot iron, but I choke it down. Never hit first, and never without thinking, his voice whispers in my head from long ago.
"I'm not a child," I hiss because I can't hold it in. He smirks and shakes his head.
"You will always be a too clever and little fox," he chuckles darkly. I shrink back at the low blow.
"I'm not little, and there is no such thing as being too clever," I whisper, gathering up all my courage.
"My dear little fox, who's much too clever, you should know that there isn't always a nightingale," he coos while he runs a hand through my hair. His grey eyes are like a chasm and all my courage and bravery has just fallen into it.
He places a hand on my forehead and I don't fight it, I just fall into that dark abyss.
I'm eight again and I'm running through the garden as vibrant spring flowers bloom around me. I giggle when an orange butterfly lands on my pale finger. My brother watches from a distance as he discusses something with a Heartrender and a Squaller. My green dress is too big, but I'm used to everything being too big. I reach to pick a bright red rose. I carefully avoid the thorns and soon I'm holding it in my tiny hands. I turn to face my brother and wave to him. He smiles and waves back, then turns his attention to the hefty Heartrender that looks at me with suspicion. Suddenly hand grab me from behind and lift me off the ground. I pedal my legs and I feel the cold sharp edge of a knife on my throat. My brother stands up so violently that the chair clatters behind him. Before another word is uttered my attacker's head bounces to ground with a sickening thud. All I can see is red and I scream and untangle myself from the body. I run screaming to my brother's arms. He whispers something to the pretty Squaller girl and she nods and leaves.
Two months later, in the height of summer, I'm out in the garden again. I'm sipping on cold lemonade and I know my brother is watching me from the window of his study. Six Oprichiniki shadow me, just in case someone tries something again. I feel a gloved hand snatch my wrist and I look into one of the guard's eyes. They all have their weapons out and confusion flows through me. Before I can react though one brings down his blade, and I manage to avoid a sword in my heart. But a long red gash runs through my shoulder. I scream in agony and I look up to my brother's window. There's the Heartrender from the last attack. In my head everything click and then I'm ripped away from my assailants My brother holds me tight and glares at the men. All six of them suddenly clutch their chest and I see another Heartrender with ruddy hair clenching his fist. My brother holds me close, and when he accidentally touches my wound I whimper. He calls a Healer and he holds me as she seals the gash.
I wake up in the morning in the bed and my brother is already gone. I jump out of bed and check my boots. I sigh in relief when in feel the blade against my calf. I run a hand through my hair and take a breath. The door opens and in walks Ivan looking as sour as ever.
"He wants you on deck," Ivan grunts.
"Is someone upset that they have to babysit," I mock. He groans and motions for me to follow.
"Someone's grumpy…"
He leads me to the deck without any weird detours. Sun beats down and I have to squint my eyes. It still smells terrible and I cover my nose with my hand. My brother stands at the prow of the ship looking out to see. Ivan leads me up to him and promptly leaves. I scowl at him as he leaves and turn to face my brother.
"You wanted me up here…" I begin, leaving it open for him to continue.
"I don't want you alone," he simply says. I rock back on my heels and look up at the sky.
"That one is a fish," I observe pointing a at white puffy cloud. My brother looks at me at blinks. We haven't done this since I was ten so I can understand his shock.
"That one is an owl," he states, pointing at another. I smile at him and turn back to the clouds.
"In Russien they are considered to be the wisest animal," I offer. He looks down at me, or rather grey eyes bore into me and I look away.
"Fascinating," he mutters. I kick the ground and I flick my hair out of my eyes. We sit in silence and look everywhere but each other. The tension is thick as I listen to the sailors work. The Grisha are obvious because I hear them chat about the strangest things and they look like pieces of candy with their richly colored kefta.
"Can I go," I blurt. He looks at me and sighs.
"Stay on deck," he mutters. I turn on my heel and skip away. I pass Ivan and I give him a saccharine smile and wiggle my fingers at him. He grimaces at me and looks away. I slowly walk up to the ladder that leads up to the crow's nest. I glance around and put my foot on the first rickety rung. When no one stops me I scramble up the rotted ladder as quickly as I can.
I reach the basket and smell the fresh sea air. The only sound up here is the wind and the occasional seagulls, the cries from below are lost. I sit down and lean against the smooth wood. I spied a telescope on the floor and I pick it up and expand it. I peek up over the edge and test it out.
I smile at the quality; I can see everything in clarity. It must have cost a fortune, I study the exterior. It has gold inlaid and it's engraved.
Nikolai Lanstov, I know the last name…I think. I collapse it and put it into my sleeve.
"Elodie! Where are you!" I hear my brother shout.
"Up here!" I call down to him.
"Get down here!" he orders.
"You said I couldn't go below deck! Besides, what could I possibly do up here?" I shout.
When he doesn't reply, I relax against the side.
When the sun begins to set my brother climbs up and tells me I need to go back to the cabin. I give him a look and look back up at the sky. He can't fit up into the small basket with me sitting so he stands on the ladder.
Around me are scattered trays filled with untouched food. Ivan came up periodically and set them down without a word. I simply didn't feel like eating so I set them aside and went back to plotting and cloud watching.
"You haven't eaten," he observes glaring at me. J
"Never would have guessed," I drawl. He scowls and grabs my ankle.
"Don't give me lip, go to bed my little fox," he commands. I roll eyes and kick his hand away. He frowns, but then his take a steely glint.
"If you don't come down now then you can't come down," he declares.
"Fine," I mutter. With that he climbs down the fifty foot ladder. When he reaches the bottom I hear him call a sailor over. Suddenly I hear banging and the ladder comes down.
Shocked I lean over the edge in horror and look down at my brother. He just waves and goes to his cabin. An icy wind whooshes past me and I shiver.
He wouldn't seriously do this. He'll just come back in an hour or two and carry me to bed.
Three hours pass before I accept the fact that he isn't coming back. I lean back and stare up at sky. The stars shine like diamonds and I carefully extend the telescope. I aim it at the sky and study the stars and constellations. I sigh and think back to my astronomy lessons. I close my eyes and think of my tutor for that subject. He was an old monk who was bald, but his silvery white beard reached the ground. He wore a fraying brown wool robe and his hand shook when he taught.
I wonder how he left this world, did he die peacefully with his family? Did he even have a family? I realize I can't remember very much from my past. The majority of what I do remember involved my brother, or I was getting attacked because of who I was related to.
The only memory of my mother was when she left, but I do remember my grandmother from my father's side. She came one day, with her Russi accent and her snow white hair styled up on top of her head. She wore a dress of pink silk roses on the cloth. She yelled at my brother for not teaching me to sow or cook, claiming that I would amount to nothing. My brother responded by having me learn practically everything but sowing and cooking. He had me learn violin and taught me politics.
He is right, I am far too clever sometimes. Because he taught me to be.
