AN: Sorry for the wait. I don't get a lot of time on the weekends, but I'll try harder to kick my as into gear during the week. You guys have been SO awesome and consistent. I love you all. Seriously.

Also, I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I don't think I'm going to have Brittany in this at all. I'm really not confident in my ability to write her. But I do love her character, and I love, love, love Brittana. They're the most adorable thing since babies.

Enjoy!


Chapter Nine: So Real

It's Friday before I'm able to kiss her again; before I smell her skin again. It's been four days since I last saw her. We've been texting throughout each day, but I need something tangible to soothe my fears; they seem to grow when she's not around. But her lips are tangible. Her warm body in my lap is tangible. Her breath against my neck is here. The way she bunched up her skirt to her upper thigh in order to straddle both of mine is so real.

We had plans for lunch, but Quinn called me an hour ago to inform me that she would need to work over lunch. I'm supposing that within just a few months of trying to plan things into Quinn's schedule will officially clue me in as to how busy a book editor might be. Anyway, when she called earlier I may or may not have whined a bit. Don't judge. I hadn't felt her in four days. It's been longer since we last had sex. Two years of consistent orgasms can spoil a girl. But alas, this is part of the new plan.

Or it was until I walked into Quinn's office. Then it seemed like the new plan might involve accosting my mouth with hers and pushing me to sit on the plush sofa in the corner. I thought her exclamation of, 'I need to kiss you,' over the phone was sweet, and a little seductive. I never imagined that she would climb on top of me and start running those dexterous fingers through my hair. I never got the inclination that she would nip at my neck and roll her hips mercilessly into mine. And as her lips find mine again and she moves her hands from my hips to my breasts, mild hysteria sets in; the sudden realization that I might be ruining her cushions not the least of my worries.

I'm unsure if I should stop this. I'm unsure that I'll be able to after another second. With my heart rate already escalated and my breathing coming in short bursts, I know I'm headed straight for another panic attack. Is it even ok to have a panic attack in this situation? Where I'm engaging in sexual activities with Quinn? Just as that anxiety hits me, she pulls away to lean her forehead against mine. I take long, deep breaths to recover myself… or prepare.

I open my eyes to the sound a breathy giggle that really, I can feel more than I can hear. Quinn's eyes are still closed, her long lashes fluttering against her cheeks. There's a smile tugging at her perfectly pink lips. "Sorry." She breathes out around a wicked smirk.

I watch her recover in amusement and whisper, "It's ok," before placing a lingering kiss on her mouth. This time when we pull away, her eyes are open; beautiful hazel shining in the sun coming through the window, sparkling with lust, boring into mine. "Are you ok?" I ask breathlessly just to fill the silence.

She nods silently as another smile covers her mouth while leaning her head into the crook of my neck. "Yes." She kisses my special spot behind my ear shortly and I wrap my arms around her waist. "But I think we need to stop… or I won't be able to." She pulls back to look into my eyes again, and I think that if she asks me anything at all with that look I will always just say, 'Ok,' with a happy smile on my face. I stretch my neck slightly to kiss her again because… how could I not? I feel her body lean into me again, but her thighs are tense from holding her center safely away from mine. As I move my hands from her waist to massage her thighs Quinn abruptly pulls back and simply hugs me. "Rachel…"

"I know." Wow. What happened to my nerves? I guess hormones win every time? "But, um… I think… that I need you to, um…"

"Oh! Sorry." She catches on and slides off of my body. She smooths down her skirt and ducks her head down shyly, a light blush coloring her cheeks. She bites her lip and waves her hand around the room without looking up. "This is my office," she giggles out.

"Ah, yes." I say sarcastically. "Very nice, Miss Fabray." She nods along and we laugh as she wipes away at her smudged lipstick. That might be my favorite. At least top five. The way her lipstick smears, the way it marks me. It's always been such a turn on for me. Ok, I need to settle my brain. Steer it away from sex. I cross my legs and ask, "So… this is a working lunch then, is it?"

It makes her laugh again as she sits in her important editor's chair behind her important editor's desk. It's very sexy. "I'll admit I got a bit distracted." She glares playfully at me and I scoff.

"You are the one that attacked me." I accuse indignantly.

"'Attacked.' As if you didn't enjoy it." She smirks smugly at me.

I lean my head against my raised fist and make an obnoxious humming noise, and Quinn. Quinn just smiles so prettily at me. Such a simple thing I've seen her do so often, and it still takes my breath away. "Have dinner with me tonight." I whisper, staring directly into her eyes.

She sighs heavily. "I can't." She picks up a pen and starts fiddling with it between her fingers. "It's Halloween."

I make a confused face to match my thoughts. "Are you going trick or treating?" I ask with a slight giggle.

"No." She looks at me pointedly. "But Beth is." Realization dawns on me in a way that I'm certain is embarrassing. Beth is five years old. Of course she's going trick or treating. I'm not allowed to steal her mother away on Halloween.

My mind drifts off to the next opening in my schedule, which is tomorrow night. I'm about to insist on dinner Saturday night when Quinn speaks up again. "I was actually, um… I was wondering if you might like to come?" She says somewhat hesitantly, but with a light in her eyes all the same. "With us. Tonight." She clarifies because I'm slightly dumbfounded. "With me a-and Beth." Her brow furrows and I realize that I've been silent much too long.

"Yes." Oops. "I-I mean, no." Shit. She's raised her brow at me and pursed her lips. I take a deep breath and rise up off the sofa to begin walking over to Quinn. When I reach her a small smile is playing with both of us and she rolls her chair back to give me room to sit on the edge of her desk. I take her hand in mine, and she begins rubbing small circles on it with her thumb. I watch the movement for a moment, wondering if she should be the one comforting me right now. But I steel myself and look into her patient eyes. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Yes." She nods once firmly; resolutely.

"How?" I ask quietly.

She smiles softly at me. "Because it's Halloween, Rae. It'll be fun." I look down to the floor, still not convinced. "Look, I don't think we should mack in front of her or anything."

I huff out a laugh and look at her. "You've been hanging out with Santana-"

"I know." She cuts me off. She raises her hand to cup my chin and wipe at my own smudged lipstick. "I don't want you do anything you're not ready for." I nod dumbly. "So, if you don't think that now is a good time to spend time with my daughter," she emphasizes that finer point, "then just say 'no.'" She moves her hand to caress my cheek and smiles reassuringly at me. "Ok?"

It doesn't take any time at all to make the decision. She's so earnest and caring. It's almost like she loves me. And I'm so scared that I might let her down; that I might let myself down. But as my lips touch her warm palm, all I can say is, "I wanna go."

Quinn has to bite her lip to contain her smile, but even that doesn't kill it. I feel so special to have evoked that reaction. "Really?"

"Yeah." She stands up and moves between my legs to kiss me firmly; resolutely.


I am not having a panic attack. I am not having a panic attack. I am not having a panic attack… anymore. I was having one earlier. But now that I'm knocking on Quinn's apartment door, I'm not. Definitely not. God, I should have brought a camera and saved this for my acting final. At least I don't appear to be having a panic attack. That's the important thing. I think. Ok, for now. Maybe I can talk to Quinn about it later, but I have to be calm around her kid. You're not supposed to have panic attacks when meeting children. There's a small voice telling me that it's more than that, but it's drowned out by a swinging door and a small blonde person, clad only in boy's Batman underwear.

"Hello, Berry." Beth says my name with such disdain. Oh god, I've already failed. I thought she wanted to have ice cream with me? And watch cartoons? Oh god, I am not having a panic attack. I'm about to greet her with my best show face when she bursts into a fit of giggles and looks off to the side. "Like that?" She manages out. My brow furrows in confusion and slight concern for Beth's mental health. Can five year olds be schizophrenic?

"Just like that, dolce." I hear a familiar voice confirm before I see a tan hand high five the little girl. "You are now officially the HBIC." Santana nods for me to enter the apartment in lieu of a greeting before disappearing into the kitchen.

"What are you teaching my kid?" Quinn comes rushing around the corner into the living room. She smiles at me brightly, but it vanishes when she gets on her knees to be eye level with Beth. "What did Mommy say about answering the door?"

"But Tana was right there, and-"

"What did Mommy say?" Quinn reiterates.

"You said not ta." Beth sighs, defeated.

"That's right." Quinn says firmly but plants a sweet kiss in her daughter's wild, blonde hair. "Now go get dressed." She stands and pats Beth's little bottom lovingly to send the girl off to her bedroom. Quinn widens her eyes comically and sighs as she walks over to me with a big smile on her face. "Hey."

"Hey." I smile back. She kisses me on the mouth, and I revel in the feel of her lips rubbing against mine momentarily. "Is it weird that seeing you be a mom is kinda hot?" I ask hesitantly.

She blushes a deep red and kisses me again before whispering, "A little bit," and kissing away any retort. We both laugh into the kiss, but I manage out a, 'Brat,' to which she bites my bottom lip and tugs gently. I let out a moan that wakes us both up and she places one last kiss on my lips before pulling away so we can calm ourselves down.

"So, is Beth Captain Underpants for Halloween? 'Cause she can use my scarf as a cape."

"Aw," Quinn coos sarcastically. "No. She's gonna be fun-sized Katniss."

"Gotchya."

She takes my hand and leads us to the kitchen where Santana is drinking a water and leisurely playing with her phone, feet up on the table. I remain quiet as Quinn stares her down. Finally, the Latina lifts her gaze to mine, smirks, and then shifts her eyes to Quinn and raises her brows. "Why'd Beth open the door naked?"

"She wasn't naked." Santana replies nonchalantly. "And you know," she shrugs and returns to her phone. "Kids will be kids or whatever the fuck." She sighs out.

"If she's ever kidnapped, I'm killing you." Santana just nods like this is a common threat. Their friendship has always baffled me. They're there for each other though; they can have whatever dynamic works for them. "Get your shoes off my dinner table."

Santana scoffs. "These are brand new Stella McCartney, Q. I don't want your floor on my faux python pumps."

Quinn walks passed her to the refrigerator and knocks her feet off the table. "You're gonna wear them to work. My floor is fucking immaculate compared to that bar." Santana tilts her head in acceptance of Quinn's argument. "Rae." I look over just as she tosses me a water bottle.

"Thanks." I say somewhat breathlessly. I tossed Quinn a water bottle last week. After we fucked. And that memory coupled with this afternoon's activities and the lip-tugging, my eyes glaze over. I feel my mouth go dry and I vaguely register the concern coloring Quinn's features, but all I can think is that her brows furrow almost the same way when she's concentrating on getting me off.

"What the fuck, Berry?" Santana interrupts my train of thought. I smile at them both before twisting off the bottle cap and taking a long gulp. "Hey Q, you know what face she's making?"

"I think so." Quinn replies huskily. Both Santana and I look at her and she has the sexiest smirk playing on her lips, eyes boring into mine.

"Ugh, gross." Santana gets up from her chair and moves toward the hallway. "B! Come save me! Please!" She yells dramatically.

"Sorry." I mumble.

"Don't be. She's just an ass." Quinn says as she glides over to me squeeze my hand. She lets go when Beth runs into the kitchen, fully clothed with Santana hot on her heels carrying a plastic bow.

"Mom!" She exclaims.

"Beth!" I can't help a small giggle from escaping my throat.

"Look! I look awesome."

"So humble." Quinn says airily as she ruffles Beth's hair.

"Q, it's in a braid. Leave it alone."

"Yeah, Mom."

"Sorry, baby." Quinn says, effectively chastised.

"Do you like it, Rachel?" Beth's big green eyes turn up to me.

"You look great, Beth."

"Never take fashion advice from Berry, miel."

"Santana…" Quinn sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. I just laugh a little.

"I think you look good, Rachel." Beth says happily and Santana rolls her eyes. I mumble out a 'thank you.'

"All right, you little traitor. Tana's gotta go." She and Beth do this complicated hand shake that lasts at least twenty seconds before Santana leans down to kiss Beth on the top of her head. "Have fun tonight." She says before kissing Quinn on the cheek. She must catch the way my jaw tightens because the last thing she says before she leaves is, "Relax, Rae." And with a pointed look. "Don't screw up."


So this is going ok. Just fine, actually. Great, even? Yeah. Fantastic. Trick or treating with Quinn and Beth is fun. We've been down a few blocks now, and Beth's pillowcase is getting full. Banter has been flowing and hands are being held. Kisses are being stolen and this is easy. And I'm so grateful to be here; to be let into this part of Quinn's life; to have earned it, just by asking for it.

Beth is exceptionally smart and hilarious. I shouldn't have expected anything less. Her mother is Quinn, after all. I haven't allowed myself to see Quinn in this light in a long time. She's so relaxed, and just completely herself. She's talking more than I am which is lovely. I'm learning a lot; comparing and contrasting to the Quinn I knew in high school. But as graceful and mature as she was after Beth, not a whole lot has changed. It leaves with a comfortable sense of familiarity. The only thing that I would change about tonight is my height. I'm much too short for Quinn to rest her head on my shoulder. I should get some crazy high heels. Yes. It's a plan.

Quinn's soft voice breaks me out of my head space. "She really likes you." She nudges me with her shoulder. "She only talks this much to Tana and me."

I smile at Beth's back, up a few steps in front of us, hardly containing her excitement even after two hours. "I really like her, too." I reply honestly. "This is really nice. Just walking with you."

"Yeah." She sighs contently as if she's known this would be nice all along. And I suppose she has. I'm just late to the party. "Go get 'em, baby!" Quinn yells ahead to Beth as the little girl races up the pathway of another house, our cue to make out for a hot second.

But we're cut short this time when Beth comes jogging up to us and starts tugging on her mother's sleeve. "Mom." She drawls out in a whine.

We pull away from each other quickly, but Beth doesn't seem to care right now. She has this adorably pained expression on her face. "What is it, baby?" Quinn asks, concerned.

"She gave me an apple." Beth whines. Quinn and I both try not to laugh, but we fail miserably. "Can we go home now?"

"Yes." Quinn picks Beth up and swings her onto her hip and smiles at me.

"Hey Beth, can I carry your candy for you?" I ask. She turns her little blonde head toward me and looks at me skeptically, an expression I've seen on Quinn's face more than a few times. It's utterly striking. "Please?" She narrows her eyes at me, but then just smiles and thrusts her bag into my hands before burying her face in Quinn's neck.


"Please, please, please." I hear Beth beg from the other room. Quinn's been trying to put her down for ten minutes now. Throughout the wash cloth and the pajamas, she's been asking for one more piece of candy. I sneaked her two on the walk home, but apparently a Butterfinger is calling her name.

"Not tonight, baby cakes." I hear Quinn say yet again. "But tomorrow's Saturday, and you can have a bunch of candy then, ok?" She's a brave woman, offering a sugar high to a five year old on a silver platter.

I hear Beth tiredly murmur an, 'Ok,' before the door closes and Quinn strides into the living room to sit on the couch with me. She sits on the other side of the three-seat sofa, opposite me. "What are you doing all the way over there?" I reach out my arm and flop it down onto the cushion dramatically.

She reaches out for my hand and smiles softly at me. "Do you wanna talk?" She prompts gently.

"Ok." I say quietly. "But you're gonna have to come a little closer." She starts crawling over to me on her knees before turning around to lean into my open arm. She takes my hand again and starts playing with my fingers. "I'm having fun." She nods twice and lifts my palm to kiss it before lowing it back into her lap, proceeding to play with my fingers. "Thank you."

"For what?" She asks, genuinely confused.

"For inviting me." I rest my chin on her shoulder and press my lips to her skin. "It's really nice to see you like this again. With Beth, at home, you know? I didn't really let myself miss is before, but now…"

She shifts in my arm just enough so that she can look me in the eye. There is a gentle furrow in her brow. "Why wouldn't you let yourself miss it?"

I sigh deeply. "Because." She quirks that brow. "I just… I wasn't in the right place, you know? I couldn't let myself fall for all of your… everything… before I figured mine out."

"And now?"

"Now… I'm ready to grow up." We simply stare at each other for whole minutes before a thought finally crosses my mind. "Why would you wait for me?" I ask quietly, so much more vulnerable than I've sounded in a long while.

"Because I've already fallen for all of your everything." She replies resolutely.

I am baffled. How could this be? Was I paying so little attention these last two years that I missed this completely? How could anybody fall for the person I've been to Quinn? Especially Quinn. I've been selfish. I needed a swift kick to the ass to even have coffee with this woman, and she's… fallen for me? As in past-tense, fallen? Like, it's been this way for god knows how long, and I'm just now figuring it out. But I am, aren't I? Figuring it out? Isn't that the point? Or maybe the point is that I'm finally figuring out that I want to figure the rest of it with Quinn. "You amaze me." I say breathlessly.

She smirks smugly at me and leans in for a kiss before I can call her out on it. I'll allow it.

We kiss for several more minutes, rediscovering every crevice in each other's mouths under this new light. It's beautiful, and I can feel every single swipe of her tongue and teeth in my abdomen and in my chest. The need for oxygen overcomes the urgency of the kiss, though, and we part. "Stay." I lean in to capture her lips in agreement and my hands begin to wander. I rub gentle patterns on her back with my fingertips before bringing one hand down to her waist. A moan escapes her mouth only to be swallowed by mine. I move my rebellious hand to rest on her ass. Quinn starts shaking her head and pulls away again. "No." She says huskily. "Not tonight."

"Why not?" I manage to force out of my lusted over brain.

"We need to… not for a while."

"Oh."

"Yeah." She moves to sit next to me, staring at the blank television in front of us. I just stare at her profile, trying to catch my breath. "We need to… separate."

"Like animals?" I ask playfully, which gains a laugh from her.

"No, like… separate this new thing from the old thing."

"Right." I saw this coming. It shouldn't be such a shock. Maybe if Quinn hadn't been straddling and/or sucking my face off throughout the day it would be an easier pill to swallow. "Right." I repeat, more for my own sake. Quinn turns to look at me imploringly, but I can tell she's slightly amused by my perplexed state. Apparently I'm not doing a very good job hiding it. "Sorry. I just, um… When do you think it'll be ok to incorporate?" She laughs at my wording, and probably a little at how desperate I sound. "Sorry. I-"

She cuts me off with her lips. This is definitely my favorite thing, kissing Quinn like this. Languidly, like we have all the time in the world to just make out like teenagers. It's really awesome. She pulls away. "Don't be sorry."

"Ok."

"Ok." And then she lays her body down and tugs me down behind her by my hand. "Just stay." She says sleepily.

"Ok." I nuzzle my nose into her hair and kiss her neck. The last thought I have before I fall asleep is, 'What was I so afraid of?'


AN2: All right, there it is. I really hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know either way, as long as it's constructive. Next chapter, Beth finds them asleep on the couch. Dun-dun-dun! Just kidding, but seriously. Have a grand night/day!