Chapter 9

Tommy's POV

I stared at my reflection in my mirror applying my make-up. I was going out tonight to….to meet Adam's new boyfriend. I had to fight back my tears at the thought. I didn't want to go; all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and never see Adam again. But I knew I had to go, Adam just means so much to me. I picked up my eyeliner and started to apply it, I had to make sure I looked decent. I hadn't gotten much sleep at all for the past few days, with all of this fucking drama…how could I sleep? So I had to wear heavier make-up, so y'know no one will notice. Not like they would anyway, I'm going to a club. Everyone's too drunk to care if I look like a zombie or not, besides it's always too dark to tell. I'm just worried about Adam noticing. He already knows there's something wrong.

Well everyone knows there's something wrong with me; it's not hard to tell. I'm just tired of Adam always nagging me about it. He doesn't need to know. I don't want him to know about all my fucked up feelings, I mean if he ever found out that I was cutting…god. I feel horrible for keeping all of this from him, though. I mean he deserves to know, doesn't he? He's my best friend. I'm in love with him. But there are things about me that…that are just too dark. It's better if he never finds out. After I was done applying my make-up I straightened my bangs and then left my bathroom.

I was dressed in the same outfit I had worn to rehearsal today; I wasn't really trying very hard to look good. I just wanted to appear decent, healthy. Even though I had gotten paler, I hadn't eaten since god knows when, and I haven't been sleeping. Swell. I sighed and checked the time on my phone. 9:45 pm. I better get going, don't wanna be late…

I grabbed my car keys off of my bedside table, pulled on my converse, and then left my apartment. I stepped out of the building as a cool breeze hit my face. I looked up at the dark night sky that was lit up with thousands upon thousands of stars. It was beautiful. I would've taken a moment to admire it if I wasn't so preoccupied with my own inner demons. I sighed deeply as I made my way to my car. I unlocked it and sat down in the driver's seat. I started my car and pulled out of the parking lot, making my way to the club. My mind was going haywire with thoughts. I was tempted to turn around and go back home, to forget about all of this shit. Forget about trying to make Adam happy. But I couldn't do that, I was madly in love with the man. I couldn't just forget about it. I said I would go and therefore I have to go, I can't let him down.

He seemed so happy and full of life. He wanted me to meet his new lover, he wanted my approval. He wants me to be his friend. So I will. For him. Fuck my feelings, his are more important. It took me around 20 minutes to get to the club. I parked my car in the parking lot and made my way inside; praying to the nonexistent god that this night would be over soon. Once I was inside I was blinded by all the bright, colorful lights. Music was pounding in my ears as I searched for Adam. I wasn't exactly sure as to where he would be. Finally I spotted him at the bar and started to make my way over there. The logical side of me was telling me not to go over there. That this was a horrible idea and I was just going to end up getting hurt. That something really bad was going to happen. I finally arrived at the bar, right behind Adam, I tapped his shoulder and he jumped slightly. He turned around and his face suddenly broke out into a huge grin.

"Tommy!" He said cheerfully as he pulled me into a tight hug, which I returned. I had to fight the frown when he pulled away from me. "I'd like you to meet Ben." A short, brunette boy stood from the chair next to Adam's. His hair was slightly spiked, and he had these gorgeous bright green eyes. He was a few inches shorter than I was and looked to weigh about as much as I did. He was dressed in black skinny jeans, a light purple shirt, and a loosened black tie. He was cute, adorable even, but I couldn't help but hate him. He smiled slightly, but it seemed forced.

"It's nice to finally meet you," He said, "Adam's told me so much about you." He studied me carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly. If I wasn't mistaken he seemed to…not like me. Maybe it was just my imagination…but…

"Nice to meet you too." My voice friendly, but it was fake. I didn't like him. I know I was judging him without knowing him. But…I just couldn't help it alright? He stole Adam away from me.

"Why don't you two talk," Adam piped in, "I invited some friends, so I'm going to go look for them." Adam kissed Ben's cheek quickly and I had to fight the urge to kill something. He left me and him alone as he went to go find his friends. I looked down at him, searching for something to say. I wanted to scream at him, lash out, but I couldn't. I had to play nice.

"Take a seat, Tommy." He said, his voice showing no emotion. I shrugged. I sat down in the chair Adam had been before I had come. Ben sat down next to me, and then ordered a drink. I stared at my eyes for a while before he finally spoke.

"Listen, Tommy," He said, "I know how you feel about Adam," My head shut up and I stared wide eyed at the smaller boy, "I know you're in love with him." I was about to deny it, say Adam and I were only friends and that's all I thought of him. But he stopped me.

"Don't bother denying it," He said, "I saw how you looked at him, it's completely obvious how you feel. Adam told him about your little summer romance." He seemed angry.

"So?" I said "That doesn't mean I still love him, we dated once, yes. Ten years ago. It doesn't matter anymore. He has you. He doesn't want me anymore." I knew I sounded miserable, pathetic.

"Cut the crap, Tommy," He said, his voice laced with venom "You love him. But let me tell you something, he doesn't love you."

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"He. Doesn't Love. You." He repeated, "He loves me now, got that? And if you ever even think of coming between us you're going to regret it." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I don't like you Tommy," He said, "And I know you don't like me either. SO let's just make this easy. Just leave. I mean why are you even here? To get Adam back? He doesn't want you anymore. So just go."

"No." I said, "I'm not leaving. Adam is my friend, okay? That's all we are. And I'm not gonna leave just because his douchey, jealous boyfriend tells me to. So fuck off." I was angry. Oh I was beyond angry. I can't believe Adam was in love with this twink. He was such a fucking dick.

"Fine." He said, "If you're not gonna leave you better stay out of the way. I have Adam wrapped around my finger. Won't be long until you're out of the picture." My eyes narrowed, I wanted to hit him. I wanted to fuck him up. I wanted to yell and scream and beat the shit out of this kid.

"Listen you little prick-.."

"Hey guys what are you talking about?" Adam spoke. I stopped speaking immediately. Ben looked away from me then up at Adam. He smiled.

"Oh nothing, baby." Ben said. Adam leaned down and kissed him on the top of his head. I wanted to take and slap him. Couldn't he see through his boyfriend's act? Couldn't he see how much he hated me and wanted me out of the picture? Could he not see what a dick he was? Guess not.

"Whatever you say." Adam said. I looked down at the floor. I wanted to leave. I wanted to disappear. I didn't want to deal with all of this anymore. Why couldn't life just be simple for once?

"You okay, Tommy?" Adam asked, sensing my distraction, I nodded slightly, looking up from the floor.

"Yeah, I'm fine…just not feeling well," I said, "I think I'm gonna go home and get some rest." Adam frowned slightly.

"Oh…um okay," He said softly, "I'll walk you out." He looked down at his ass of a boyfriend, "I'll be right back, baby." I wanted to puke. Adam and I walked side by side out of the club. It was silent between us until we reached my car.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow." He said and I nodded, he was about to turn around but then something came over me. I grabbed his arm and he turned around giving me a confused look. Before I could even register what I was doing I stood on my tippy toes and slowly kissed Adam softly on the lips. I couldn't help the small moan that escaped my lips at the contact, but before I could go any farther Adam pulled away, giving me a look of pure shock. I blushed wildly and before he could say anything I spoke.

"I have to go." I said softly, Adam looked like he was about to protest but I opened my car door and left him standing there alone and confused. As I made my way home one thought was running through my mind, what the fuck did I just do?

There you are, loveys. I just wanted to let you all know that I am really considering writing edition to this. If I can come up for an idea for it, I will :3 And also I started writing another story, it's a saulbert fic. It's called Forever. So if you want to you can check that out ^_^ Lots of love xx

~Sarah~