A/N: Hm, hm? Update! Haha! This chapter pretty mucforces nowhere, in my opinion, but alas, you get to see Takasugi dress up as a woman! And tie up Zura! And a dream! GinHiji moment!

Oh myyyy. Also, there is quite a bit of OOCness present in this chapter, in my opinion, anyways.

I apologize beforehand for any grammatical/spelling errors that you'll probably see, knowing me. Beta still not in contact. Probably won't have a beta for awhile. Meeeeh.

Sankyuu for reading, I hope you enjoy! ^^


-Chapter Eight-


To be truthful, it took Takasugi three days to finally figure out how to break Katsura out of the Shinsengumi HQ. He'd went over many different types of situations in his head, until he came to the conclusion that the only way to break Zura out would be just to wing it after his infiltration.

Yeah, three whole fucking days to figure that out.

Takasugi sighed and rubbed his non-covered eye. His covered eye was currently not wrapped up with his annoying, usual wrappings; instead there was an eyepatch, similar to the one Katsura wore when he went into Captain Katsura mode.

Crossing his arms, he strode along in front of the headquarters. He wore a wig, a long blond one that made him seem like a girl, and a strikingly pink kimono. He had fake breasts bouncing up and down as he walked around randomly. Damn, they were really pissing him off.

Let's just get this over with...

Decisively, Takasugi padded up to the front doors of the HQ, a fake smile gracing his lips. Early on in his planning, he'd decided to dress as a hook– woman. Batting his eyelashes of his one good eye, he knocked on the large wooden door.

He wouldn't just barge in; that would be excessively rude, and he wanted to make a good impression on whomever answered the damn door. His right hand twitched at the thought of blowing up the whole building, but held back.

He needed to get Katsura out. Besides, he considered himself to be on a sort of vacation, so it wouldn't do him any good to actually work. Anyway, if he did succeed to getting Zura out, then he'd be able to mess with the vice commander of the Shinsengumi, and that would be good enough for the time being.

After waiting for what felt like hours, a plain looking male opened the large door. "Mm? Yes, what do you need?"

Still batting his eyelashes, Takasugi reached out and touched the man's forearm lightly. "Might I speak with..." He paused for a moment, thinking of the person's exact name. "...Kondou Isao? And if he's busy, may I speak with Hijikata Toushirou, ne?"

The boring-looking male sighed, nodded, and opened the door wide. "Yes, yes. Come in. But, before I allow you inside, can I have your name? I can't just allow some unknown woman in here without at least a name."

Takasugi's right eyebrow twitched, and he replied in a girly, flirtatious voice, "Oho, I'm Takahashi Shio~ and what might be your name, handsome~?"

The male flinched at the fake and sugary coating of his words. "Ah...I'm Yamazaki. No need to know my given name. Now come along, Takahashi-san."

"Ehhh, Yamazaki-saaaan, no need to use honorifics! Just call me Shio-chwaaaan~," he giggled out, his mind yelling at him for even speaking like that.

Shit, this is so fuckin degrading.

"...okay then. Shio-'chwaaaan'. Better?" Takasugi nodded at him. "Good, now let's get you to Hijikata-san. I apologize sincerely, but Kondou-san is busy with...something else at the moment. You might be able to speak with him later, if you stay long enough."

As they walked down the long corridors, Takasugi took the time to look about, making mental notes about good places to stash bombs and such. He inwardly grimaced when Yamazaki stopped in front of a door that reeked cigarette smoke.

He made sure to not cough, as in not so piss off the demon vice commander. Yamazaki opened the door, motioning for Takasugi to enter first. He complied and sauntered in, doing his best to shake his ass in a slutty way.

Takasugi stood in front of Hijikata, who sat cross-legged on a dark brown, leather couch. A cigarette hung out of his mouth as he went over notes and compiled recruitment papers from all the soon-to-be new recruits.

As the black haired male went over his papers, desperate Takasugi stood there, nearly smacking the shit out of the ignorant man.

What the hell does Gintoki see in him?

He peered closely at the face of Hijikata Toushirou, taking in the handsome, bad-boy, aloofness he seemed to emit. "Mm...I really don't see anything special," he murmured quietly to himself.

Cold, sharp, blue eyes snapped to him, glaring ferocity and killer intent. "You. Who the fuck're you, and why're you in here?"

"Ne, Yamazaki-saaaan brought me here, cause I wanted to talk to youuuu~," he replied flirtatiously, swiping a lock of fake blonde hair out of his face.

"Damn Yamazaki," Hijikata growled, uncross I g his legs and slamming the papers on a side table. "T'ch, what do ya need, woman?"

With an exquisite technique Takasugi had learned from Gintoki, he got on his knees, grabbing ahold of the supposed Mayora's calves. He looked up at him with a sweet gaze, and, without a word, threw his face into Hijikata's lower stomach and crotch.

He rubbed his face there for a few moments, nearly gagging at the thought of doing this to a shogunate dog. His head was shoved back and he scooted back a few feet, staring adorably at Hijikata.

"Did I do something wrong, Tosshi-kun?" He put his index finger on his lip cutely, batting his eyelashes at the now fuming male.

"What the fuck!? I don't know you, why would you do that?! And 'Tosshi-kun'?! Don't fuckin call me that, whore," Hijikata yelled, stood up, and stomped out of the room, leaving a grinning Takasugi in his wake.

Infiltrate my way into the headquarters? Check. Meet Hijikata Toushirou? Check. Piss him off severely so that he'll leave me alone? Check & Mate.


Takasugi stood outside the door of the room, he'd recently learned, was where Katsura Kotarou was being kept. He straightened out his uniform, making sure that it didn't have any wrinkle in the stiff, but well-worn, fabric.

Earlier after he had snuck out of the room Hijikata had been occupying, he'd stowed away in the supply closet, where he found, conveniently, a wide array of different sized uniforms. After finding the perfect fit, he'd hidden his woman disguise, vowing not to come back for that nice little kimono even though he really wanted to keep it. He'd changed up his eyepatch for one with the Shinsengumi logo hand painted on it. He no longer wore the blond wig, and went instead with his natural hair, just with a different hairstyle.

With a uniform smile plastered on his face, Takasugi went to open the door to the room, sincerely hoping that neither Kondou nor Hijikata were present. As the door squeaked open, he came face-to-face with a distraught-looking Katsura.

"B-bastard! I'm done with these interrogations! You...you're never going to get any information out of me about my group or the Kiheitei," he stated angrily, his whole body shaking from either rage or fear, Takasugi couldn't quite tell.

The impersonator smirked and shut the door behind himself, then made his way to back Zura against the wall. The latter's chest rose and fell quickly, showing Takasugi that he was fearful of him. That only made his smirk turn into a sinister grin.

"Well, well, Zura. Seems you've gotten yourself into a sticky situation," he said wryly as multiple emotions flitted across Katsura's face, ranging from confusion to eagerness to anger to a deep sorrow.

"...damn it, I should've realized it was you, Takasugi, when you opened that door. Shit." Katsura pushed back against Takasugi's body, trying to get away, but to no avail.

Takasugi grabbed Zura's wrists and pinned them above his head, just like he had done to Gintoki, but this time he really did need to restrain the man.

"You gotta keep quiet for this to work out, Zura," he chided, using one hand to hold onto his wrists, and the other to get out a long rag. He tied the long haired male's wrists together, finally removing his hand from the uncomfortable position he had it in.

With a flick of his wrist, Takasugi had a ball gag in his hand. He put it on Katsura, smirking at the blush that spread across his cheeks.

Ah, god. If both of us didn't belong to Gintoki, I'd totally take Zura as my own little bitch.

Grinning, Takasugi looked around, searching for any way they could escape. He noticed a small window that could fit both his and Katsura's bodies, but it would end up being a tight fit. Thankfully, Takasugi hadn't eaten anything that day or the day before, just in case, and it seemed that Zura was a bit food deprived.

He vowed that he'd feed the cute, long haired male food after he broke him out.

Knowing that he'd need a sword, he'd grabbed one earlier when he'd been in that supply closet. Pulling it from its sheath. Hopefully the sword could cut through the metal bars, and, it turned out, they could.

Without thinking, Takasugi grabbed Katsura and tossed him out the window, then followed after him quickly. He picked up the squirming ronin and ran, a gleeful grin on his face as the wind whipped by his hair.

Let's just hope that they don't notice that he's gone until we reach the safe house. They won't know what him 'em.


Gintoki sat back on his couch, watching his rented porn intently. He was extremely bored, and he had been for the last two days.

After drinking with Hijikata, they had gone back to the barracks, heading straight for the raven-haired male's room, which ultimately led to a vulgar and raunchy make-out session. But, before Gintoki could even TRY to get into the other male's pants, they were interrupted by Sougo knocking and venting his anger at Kondou through the shoji, causing the Yorozuya to immediately lose his hard-on. Later after Okita had left, Gin decisively tried to start their foreplay up again, but it seemed that Hijikata had passed out. With a sigh and frustrated murmur, the perm head had decided just to leave.

The day after hadn't been too bad, he'd spent time with Hijikata after his work, leading up to another raunchy make-out session, although Gintoki had to leave early since he had plans. And the next two days sucked balls, since it seemed that the Mayora was avoiding him.

Sighing, he shut off the TV and rolled off the couch, hitting the floor with a thump. He stood up with a yawn, walking towards his own bedroom. He slid the shoji open, stumbled in, and collapsed on his futon.

Sleep took him in a way it hadn't in a long time; a deep slumber filled with erotic indecencies and then a horrific ending...


"Gintoki...please..." The raven-haired male moaned as Gintoki bit his neck lightly, leaving a mark that would fade soon enough. They rolled their naked groins together, both gasping each time their erections brushed together.

"...please what?" Gin smirked at the scowl that crossed the older male's face, and he leaned in to kiss him lightly. Blue eyes connected with red ones as the Mayora opened his mouth willingly.

Gin pushed his tongue in, coaxing a sweet moan out of his partner. Their tongues touched, Gintoki's being the more dominant organ at the moment, though, hopefully, the shy Hijikata would decide to be the dominant lover when the time came.

Reaching down, Gintoki gripped the hardened arousal that was little Hijikata, stroking it lovingly. His thumb teased the tip, spreading the beading pre-cum into the head.

He smirked knowingly when the Mayora bit into his shoulder. Hijikata licked at the wound in apology, an adorable pinkish blush spreading across his cheeks.

"S-sorry..." He murmured quietly, burying his face into Gintoki's shoulder as he stroked the Mayora's weeping cock.

As he continuously changed rhythms on his stroking, Gintoki used his other hand to move down Hijikata's back, over the supple curve of his ass, and to the puckered entrance that he couldn't wait to pound into.

With a grin, he moved his hand back up and to Hijikata's mouth.

"Suck." The Mayora looked from Gin to his fingers and back again. He then complied, taking three of them into his mouth, his tongue stroking over the pads of his fingers.

Once Gintoki was sure that they were wet enough, he pulled them out of his Oogushi-kun's mouth with a pop, and moved them back down to the older male's ass.

He teased Hijikata's entrance, one finger eagerly pushing against the tight ring of muscles. "Ne, Oogushi-kun, you need to relax, or else this might end up hurting..."

He pushed his index finger in slowly as the muscles ever-so-slowly relaxed, allowing the foreign appendage in. Thrusting the finger shallowly in and out, Gintoki finally pushed it in up to his knuckle. He slowly slid the second finger in, pausing when he heard a short, pained gasp come from Hijikata.

"Are you okay, Oogushi-kun?"

"Fuck no, bastard. I'm being touched by a filthy, disgusting dick head like you. I'm not fucking okay. I hate this; I hate you!"


Gintoki awoke quickly with short, sharp breaths, his heart panting with hurt and pain. His body was sweat slicked, and when he looked down he could see his erection pressing against his black pants.

Groaning, he rolled over, not wanting to get up to relive himself of his annoying hardness. But, deciding he was very uncomfortable in his everyday clothes, he got up and padded to his bathroom, jumping in the shower.

He turned on cold water, allowing it to spray over his to cool him down and rid him of his erection. Once it was gone, he started to wash up; starting with his hair and ending with the bottoms of his feet. Hey, he didn't want his feet to smell odd when he woke up.

He shut off the water and climbed out, running a hand through his wet, slicked down hair. He toweled dry, brushed his teeth, and clambered back into his bedroom, a wet towel barely clinging to his hips.

He moved to his closet, opening it and grabbing his nice, teal pajamas. He put them with ease, and moved to his futon, lying down to stare up at the ceiling of his bedroom. As he lay there, he decided not to ponder over the feelings he had for his dream.

With a grumble, he rested his arm over his eyes, and fell into a deep sleep that didn't lead to any dreams.

What he didn't realize was, tears were streaming down his face as he slept, soft sobs escaping him.


Katsura glared defiantly at Takasugi as he sat in front of him, sipping on a box of sour lemonade. He didn't quite understand why his old comrade had rescued him from the Shinsengumi, but he guessed the man wanted something from him.

"So, Takasugi, what do you want from me?" Katsura questioned, his eyes carefully lowered.

"Hm? What do I want from you? I don't want anything. Well, not anything that you won't mind giving me," he replied, grinning wryly.

Zura stiffened. "Not anything I won't mind giving you? What do you mean by that?" He scratched his neck awkwardly.

"Mm...what I mean is, want to help me separate Gintoki and that demon Hijikata?" Takasugi clapped his hands together cheerily, which was really out of character for him.

"Wait...separate them? How close have they gotten while I was in that cell?" He asked, his heart thumping wildly in fear. Oh god, what if they've had sex? What if they were official lovers?

Takasugi stared at his nails as he stretched his arms and hand out. "Mm...pretty close. I'm not sure if they've fucked yet or not, but feelings are starting to develop, if you know what I mean. Well, I haven't seen them in three days, although when I did see them, they were nearly eye fuckin each other."

"W-what!? Feelings? Developing? But..but...Gintoki never gets attached to his flings!" Katsura was so close to breaking down and crying. Why was this happening? Whywhywhywhywhywhy?

"Tsk, as if I don't know that. I was one of his earlier flings, remember? If I'm correct, I was his first man, and even back then he never developed feelings for me," Takasugi deadpanned, and graciously smoothened his hair out back to its original style. He started to remove the eyepatch, but quickly decided against it when he realized he didn't have any bandages.

Zura visibly flinched at those words and nodded. "Yeah...I know...but it still doesn't make any sense that he's now getting attached to someone. And a fuckin shogunate dog too!"

"It's sad, and true, but we can separate them. I just need your help, Zura," Takasugi stated with a grimace, " I don't enjoy his relationship with the demon Hijikata just as much as you, so why don't we work together to remove them from each other's lives. Are you with me?"

Takasugi stuck out his hand, raising his brow at Katsura.

Zura thought for a moment, nodded, and grabbed ahold of the outstretched hand. "Mhm, I'm with ya."

And they shook on it, vowing to get between the two males, no matter what the cost.


Gintoki woke up to stomping and yelling. He leaned up on his elbow, wiping his eyes with his other hand.

He stood up slowly, stretching out the kinks in his back as he did. He yawned and padded to his door, opening it and stepping out of his bedroom. What he saw didn't exactly surprise him, but it still sent small pangs of shock across his skin. It was akin to normal, and that's what made shock course through him.

There stood Kagura standing on top of the coffee table with a large light bulb in her hand. Sadaharu stood by, and so did Shinpachi, who seemed to be trying to coax her to allow him to do it.

Why were they stomping wound if they were just going to change a damn bulb!?

He strode into the room, arms crossed as he watched. Once the bulb was changed, Kagura hopped down from the table and laughed happily.

She then noticed him and yelled, "Gin-chaaaaan! Why were you sleeping in the middle of the day?!"

He shrugged and scratched the back of his head. "Mm...I'm not so sure, Kagura. Just tired, I guess. Or bored. I'm not sure. Do we have any strawberry milk left?"

Shinpachi sighed, nodding slowly. "Yeah, not much though. I'll be going shopping with Kagura-chan and Sadaharu soon, so I'll buy you some more."

"Mm..good." Gintoki made his way to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and snatched his more than half empty carton of strawberry milk. He removed the cap and lifted the carton up, in his mouth, and chugged the rest down.

"Ne...Gin-chaaaan!"

Gintoki looked over at Kagura, eyebrows raised. "Hm? What?"

"Why're you still in your pjs?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, which was sticking up in random permy messiness. "I'm not going anywhere for the rest of today, as I didn't and don't have plans anyways." He grumbled incoherently at his fingers came upon tangles.

"Oh," was all she said, and then turned her attention to petting Sadaharu roughly, who in turn yipped in annoyance and cheerfulness, however those two emotions mixed.

Shinpachi pushed his glasses up and sat on with couch with a huff, and Gin noted that he seemed peeved about...something, that he couldn't place. With a cocky grin, he tossed the empty carton of pink milk into the garbage, striding leisurely over to otaku-megane.

He plopped down next to the Shimura male, placing his arm over the sixteen year old's shoulder. "Ne, Shinpachi, what's the matter? Hm? Hmmmmm?"

"...nothing is wrong, Gin-san," he replied harshly, his eyes dark and filled with something Gintoki didn't recognize as the usual Shinpachi emotions.

"Women problems?" He cleaned his ear with his pinkie, feeling the younger male tense up. "Am I correct?"

Not answering, Shinpachi removed himself from contact with the older male, and moved off of the couch, eye lowered. Not looking at Gintoki, he yelled, "Kaaaaaguraaaaa-chaaaan, Saaaadaaaahaaaruuuu, time to go shoppiiiiingggg!"

It turned out that both of them had left the room and were currently in Gin's bedroom. They then bounded into the room, both wiggling around excitedly.

"Okaaaay, bye bye, Gin-chaaaan," Kagura replied, hurrying out of the apartment, followed by both Shinpachi and Sadaharu.

"See ya, Gin-san," Shinpachi said as he drew shut the sliding door behind them, leaving Gintoki alone to his thoughts.

Shifting uncomfortably on the couch, the lonely perm-head decided to think about porn, instead of the meaning of his dream from earlier. He shut his eyes and dozed off, not fully falling out of consciousness, but also not fully awake.


Hours later, there was a distinct, loud, and obnoxious knocking somewhere. Gintoki's eyes cracked open and he groaned loudly as his muscles creaked and his bones cracked at the movement.

The knocking sounded again, and this time he could place where it was coming from. He stood up from the couch and lazily headed for the front sliding door. He slid it open, only to find himself at sword point and bazooka point.

"E-eh?" He waved his hands back and forth in front of him. "Oogushi-kun, Souichiro-kun, w-what're you doing here?"

"T'ch, it's Sougo, Danna," Okita muttered at the same time Hijikata started yelling, "Damn it, Gintoki! What did you do with Katsura Kotarou! We know he's here!"

"Ara? Zura's gone?" He replied dumbly, scratching the back of his head as he slowly stepped away from the bazooka and sharp sword pointed at him.

Hijikata glared, but sheathed his sword. "Oh yeah. He's gone. And, well, we figured he'd be here."

Sougo nodded quickly, although he didn't put away his bazooka. Instead, it seemed that he was ready to fire it. "Where're ya hiding him, Danna? We know you guys have...a physical relationship, so it's completely natural for him to come here."

Gintoki blinked and backed up a bit more. "I'm sorry, but I don't have any idea where he is."

Both the Shinsengumi officers narrowed their eyes at him, evaluating him. "You better not be lying, or else we can arrest you for helping a known criminal," Hijikata stated harshly.

"As I said before, I don't fucking know where he is, damn it!" Gin huffed, crossing his arms in front of him, which made his muscles more defined under his pajamas.

Okita then quickly spoke up, "Then where is he?"


Across Edo, Katsura sneezed multiple times.

"Mm...people must be talking about me..."


A/N: lalala. replying to reviews now! ^^

Life Starts Forever: ehe, I loved the ending of the previous chapter, cause it cave me some plot bunnies for this one! I'm glad you enjoyed! I sincerely hope you liked this one! ^^

Sankyuu for your reviews, and until next time!

*waves* ^^

Karunebulous: Oh haaai! ^^

Yup, I love cat 'n mouse, but sadly in this current chapter, Gin-chan is reaaalllyyyy OOC, but pft. There's mild GinHiji action, at least. Well, dream! GinHiji action that end in nothing but despair for poor Gin-chan. OnO

Sakamoto miiiiight be part of the long list, but who knows? Probably, knowing myself. Pft XD

Oh god, plot bunnies everywhere! Sankyuu! I received your review when I was typing out this current chapter, so thank youuuu! n.n although, not much salt in the wounds just yet, ahaha. Soon though. Very soon. XD

Zura is probably my favorite character to write at the moment, along with Takasugi, cause, well, he's just fun to play around with and mold him the way I want. ^^

The harem is definitely fun to write about, and they'll be recurring soon enough :3

Plot bunnies!

I got off topic during this reply, didn't I? I know I did. I apologize for that, I'm easily distracted XD

Thanks for your review! Means so much! And providing plot bunnies! :D

Until next time!

*bows and then waves* OuO