I threw the spoon down.
I couldn't eat anymore.
I wasn't even hungry.
I just couldn't give in to the thought that once I finished eating then that would be the end. The end of everything. I couldn't even let myself consider the fact that this was the last meal I would ever eat.
We were in a different room now, apparently this was Edward's room. I knew that it was his before he even told me, I don't know how I knew there was just something that reminded me of him. This room was slightly bigger than the one I had woken up in over 5 hours ago. It had a similar looking sofa and 2 chairs, one was a proper arm chair and was very comfortable the other looked exactly the same as the one in the previous room. Although I was sitting on the sofa Edward was currently sitting on the uncomfortable looking chair, but I guess that doesn't matter when you are a vampire. The rest of the room was taken up by a desk and a small bookshelf. Well to an average person I suppose the bookshelf would have seemed quite large however I call it small simply because it wasn't big enough to hold all of the books Edward had, there were piles of them all over the desk and even a small pile starting on the floor behind the door.
Edward was staring off into space, he had been for a while now, I suppose he was having some sort of battle with his conscious about this situation being all his fault and although I couldn't really disagree with that fact I would never tell him, after all I was glad we were together again.
Edward glanced at me before the spoon had even hit the floor. I had told him I wasn't hungry, I suppose he simply thought I was too nervous to eat anything but that wasn't it, even I didn't know why, all I knew was the fact I couldn't force anymore food into my mouth. So here I sat surrounded with food that would surely go to waste. Edward convinced me to at least try to eat; after all I would need all the energy I could get. If it would work that is. As long as Edward could control himself.
I was sure he could.
I had agreed to Aro's offer to join them as long as I would be with Edward. It was better than death. Edward had tried to convince me otherwise but I had decided as long as Edward could put up with me being around and if we were still allowed to continue the Cullen's preferred diet then that was ok with me. Edward had assured me he could put up with me and I knew he had kept to his previous diet. The only other condition I had given Aro was that I wanted Edward to change me, I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else doing it and although it would be extremely difficult for Edward considering he had never done this to anyone before and knowing how much my blood called to him I was sure he would be able to control himself. To be honest even if he couldn't stop I would never regret wanting him to do it, the thought of anyone else, it just made me feel sick. Aro had been very eager for me to join them and therefore he was willing to agree to my conditions.
I was sure I was as ready as I could ever be but there was a nagging in the back of my head making me feel as though I had forgotten something.
All the feelings I had since arriving here finally managed to overpower me. I didn't know what else to do, so I did the only thing I could think of. I put my head in my hands and cried. Before the first tear had even hit my lap Edward had his arms around me.
"Bella, you know you don't have to do it."
"What other choice do I have Edward?"
"I don't know Bella. I wish I could think of something."
"I'm just being silly."
"No you're not. It's ok to be scared."
"I'm not scared though, that's just it. All I can think is that I shouldn't have come here, but then if I hadn't come I wouldn't have seen you again. But now I'm never going to see my parents again and I can't imagine that, knowing that they are still there in America but that I'll never be able to go to them." By now I was practically howling, I don't know if Edward could still understand me but he was there for me and that's all I needed. We sat there for a while, even after my sobbing had subsided neither of us willing to move.
While we sat there I let my mind drift. I wondered about Jake, Where was he? Where did he think I was? What would he do when he couldn't find me? What would he think? What would he tell Charlie?
"Can I write them a letter?"
"Who?"
"My parents, you know tell them that I'm ok, let them know I love them."
"Of course, but you can't tell them about this place, or what is about to happen to you."
"I know, I'm quite good at keeping secrets you know."
He smiled down at me and then started to remove his arms from me.
"Where are you going?"
"To get you some paper." I didn't want to be away from him so I started to stand up with him, I could tell he was about to tell me to stay put but then something changed in his eyes and he pulled me up and into his side. We walked together down to the reception desk where Edward found me some paper, envelopes and a pen, much to the annoyance of the receptionist.
We then went back to Edward's room to write the letters. I sat on the armchair in front of Edward's desk and he sat on the other chair next to me. He sat with me the whole time I wrote the letters. I wrote one for Jake, one for my Dad and one for my Mom. Edward never tried to read what I had written, I wouldn't have minded if he had they didn't really say anything he didn't already know, just telling my loved ones how much they meant to me and that I was sorry for not being able to tell them in person. But Edward just sat next to me, holding my hand or rubbing my back or giving me a reassuring hug on the frequent occasions that I started to cry.
After I finished the letters and checked through them I put each one in an envelope and wrote who it was for on the front. They weren't particularly neat but I was in no state to worry about that. I had no idea how I would get the letters to them, I couldn't deliver them myself and the post just seemed too unreliable and impersonal. I decided I would sort that out after. I stood up and walked over to Edward's bookshelf and placed them on a shelf that was at my eye level. It took me a few seconds to be able to let go of the letters and as soon as I did I couldn't stop myself from crying, it just made everything seem so final. Edward calmed me down, yet again; I had lost count of how many times he had done that in the last few hours.
**
"Are you ready?"
I couldn't say anything so I simply nodded. He gave me a weak smile before pulling me into a tight embrace.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered into my ear before looking me right in the eye. I had no time to react before his lips were on mine, I felt my knees buckle and he lowered us both onto the sofa. As his lips moved along my jaw bone I could only be thankful that he would be waiting for me when I woke up. His mouth reached my neck and I ignored the voice in the back of my mind telling me to run and instead I moved my head to the side and griped his arms as his teeth made contact with my skin.
"I love you Isabella Swan. I'll be waiting for you."
And with that my world went black.
AN: Difficult chapter to get out, but I hope you liked it. I'm not completely sure where to go next so I will ask you guys.
Would you prefer option A: Edward's POV of the whole story so far, option B: Edward's POV from where we have left off here or option C: Straight on to what happens next from Bella's POV?
Please let me know what you think in reviews or PMs.
Thank you :)
