It's always such a buzz to wake up in the morning to an inbox full of messages so thank you once again. I'm glad you are all enjoying this. I think I've got one more chapter so we are almost done.

Chapter Nine

Over the next hour or so, Annie kept a firm grip on the room around her. She had long figured that men were useful for many things, but there were times when it seemed that they just had no idea of how to do things. She kept up a running commentary that didn't give any of them time to stop and dwell on things that had happened or were still possibly yet to come. She had seen the sheer determination of a father who refused to let go of his son, but once the necessary things were out of the way, his body betrayed him. His hands shook as he stared at the copious amount of sticky blood that stained his hands and lower arms. Annie had sent her husband off to find a bowl of water and towels to clean up any trace of that blood. The entire group had traipsed mud everywhere and Joe's muddy boots were still firmly attached to his feet, smearing mud across the bedding where he had kicked and struggled only a short time before. She poked Hoss in the chest and directed him to get his older brother into the next room and clean him up. As Hoss gave her a quick yesm'm and grasped Adam under the armpit and hauled him to his feet, he noted how much dried mud flaked off his back and onto the floor. Adam looked like he'd been wrestling a pig and Hoss almost said so. The groan from his older brother made him hold his thought and he pointed towards the door instead.

"Let me get you settled in there and I'll head down for our saddlebags." He hoped the horses had stayed put near the livery instead of wandering loose where they'd been discarded. By the time he made it to the street below, he could see that somebody had rounded them all up and tethered them to the hitching rail in front of the hotel. He smiled at the kindness and quickly gathered all of their gear and rifles from the horses before making the trek back upstairs to his brother.

Ben seemed to stir a little as Tiny placed a bowl of warm water and soap on the nighstand and nudged him towards it. He held out several cloths and Annie took one from him. As she dipped it in the water, she smiled as her husband seemed to already know her plan. She conceded that maybe he did know a few things after all. Tiny pulled at Joe's boots and tucked them under his arm as he picked up the bloodied and torn clothes and all of the discarded bandages.

"I need some clean bedding sent up too."

Tiny just nodded as he made for the door and Annie turned back to her patient. She stifled a sob as she looked again at the boy who had impatiently paced her home only a few short hours before. As she began to wipe away the dried blood that smeared across his back, she talked to him in soft low words that only she could hear. She nodded calmly when his father finished cleaning his own mess and sat down on the other side of the bed to help her.

Matt Sanders still sat slumped against the wall and she cast a wary glance his way before continuing on with what needed to be done. There'd be time later to deal with him and his shakes as his body craved the whiskey still sitting on the nightstand. She knew he'd fought that particular demon for many years and was aware of some of what he'd seen in his time in the army. It seemed that no amount of whiskey could really silence the voice that shouted in his ear and she prayed he knew he had still saved a life in spite of it. There were some in the town who looked down their noses at him, but underneath the mess, she knew there was a good man who had been broken somewhere along the line. While they couldn't quite put him back together, they could help carry the pieces that made up the whole.

As she finally finished cleaning up, Tiny reappeared with an armful of bedding. It was clear he had simply pulled it from another bed as it was all bundled into a knot in his arms. She tapped Ben on the shoulder and watched as he gently lifted his son into his arms. Annie quickly and efficiently stripped the filthy bedding and dumped it on the floor behind her. Tiny seemed to fumble with what he was holding and she smiled at him. There were many things her man could do, but manage linen was not one of them.

"The sheet first." She pointed to the bottom of the pile and Tiny somehow juggled it all to release the bit she was after. By the time the bed was remade and Joe was settled into it, he still hadn't stirred. Ben had not released his hold on his son and Annie smiled encouragingly at him as she pulled the blanket up around Joe's bare shoulders.

"Sleep's the best thing for him right now. Let his body heal up." She wasn't entirely convinced of her own words, but she smiled anyway.

When Ben didn't answer, she headed for the door and spoke to her husband.

"Keep an eye on Matt. Don't let him leave just yet. I'm going down to the kitchen to see what Mary has down there. These fellas need some food in them."


Hoss watched as Adam clumsily pulled his second boot back on with his one good hand. His other arm hung limp in the makeshift sling Hoss had made out of his neckerchief and his shirt dangled loose against his body. The arm underneath looked swollen and stiff, but Adam simply grit his teeth together and finished the job. He slowly stood up and Hoss watched as he swayed a little before righting himself.

He stepped forward and was grateful when Adam didn't argue with him as he took hold of his elbow.

"Let's go and check on that little brother of ours."

Adam nodded and followed closely as Hoss pushed open the door once again. Neither of them were sure of what they would find on their return and it was a pleasant surprise to find the room stripped and cleaned and Joe soundly asleep in the bed. Their father sat on the edge of the bed like some kind of sentinel and his eyes did not stray from his son's face, even as they made their presence known beside him.

Tiny had pulled Sanders into a chair and the man was drinking yet another mug of lukewarm coffee as he tried valiantly to keep his hands from shaking. Adam stared at the man and felt a surge of anger that a drunk man had been brought in to take care of Joe. Just as suddenly as the anger flared, it died. He watched the man trying to hold his hands still and he knew what he was seeing. Tiny had said the man was an ex army medic. What kind of horrors had he endured in his time of service that had driven him to the point he was at now? The fact he'd managed to guide their father's hands was enough for Adam to reconsider his opinion of the man. As Sanders made eye contact with him, almost cringing as if he was about to be struck, Adam stepped towards him.

"Thank you."

"You need to get a real doc for that brother of yours." Sanders took another swig of the coffee and pulled a face at it. "We got the bullet out, but he still needs a doc to see to him. I can't do nothin' more for him."

"I already planned to ride out to Carson City just as soon as I got this here brother sorted out." Hoss clamped his hand on Adam's shoulder and guided him towards the bed. "You and Pa keep an eye on little brother for me 'til I get back."

"You need to eat something before you make that trip." Hoss turned at the sound of Annie's voice and he grinned at her as she carried a tray of food into the room. "I've got cold roast and bread and cheese and a fresh pot of coffee. I'm sorry it's not more, but the kitchen didn't have much else ready yet."


Adam felt like the walls of the room were beginning to close in around him and he pushed himself to his feet. His father was laid out on the bed beside Joe; his exhausted body and mind having finally given out on him. His hand was flung out across Joe's chest, as if he could somehow barricade his son behind some kind of protective wall. Adam stood and stretched out the kinks in his back and raised a hand as Annie moved quietly towards him.

"I'm fine. Just need to stretch my legs a little."

She settled back into the chair and kept watch as Adam made his way towards the door. It had been hours since Hoss had left and Tiny had taken Sanders back home. He'd said he was also going to take care of the horses and check on those still in the livery, but she wasn't surprised when he whispered he was also going to check on the man they'd left lying in the street. She already expected to find he had died from his wounds after tumbling from the rooftop, but Tiny would find out for sure with the townsfolk who had come out to help.

Adam stared up into the night sky as he leaned on the hitching rail and he sucked in a halting, ragged breath. The events of the last few days all milled together through his thoughts and he found himself second-guessing every word he had spoken and every action he had taken, wondering what he could have done differently. Maybe if he'd spent less time winding up his youngest brother and more time building him up, Joe might have run to them instead of away from them when he had first found himself in trouble. He knew that the Hamilton brothers had given his brother more grief than he'd let on and Adam wished for the hundredth time that he had pushed harder for answers when he could have. Maybe then the whole sorry saga could have been averted. Joe should not be lying near death in a strange town. He should be racing his horse with Hoss as they finished their day's work. He should be trying to convince his father to allow him to do whatever his latest hare-brained idea was. He should be playing checkers with Hoss and cheating his way to a win. He should be doing any number of things! Not possibly still bleeding to death.

Adam leaned his head on his arms as he tried to compose his runaway thoughts and he barely heard the sound of boots on the boardwalk. When Tiny spoke his name, he nearly jumped.

"Ya can't keep blamin' yourself for this, ya know."

Adam stared at the man who had suddenly become such an intricate part of their life. "Who says I am?"

Tiny laughed softly as he stared back. "I've seen that look before. Seen it in my own mirror, boy." The bitter edge to his tone caught Adam by surprise.

"Then who should I blame? I'm his older brother. It's my job to keep him safe and I completely failed to do so. My kid brother took a bullet in the back for me and I have to see my father's face every time he looks at Joe."

Tiny leaned against the railing and scratched at his neck before answering. "And how would it make things any better for ya pa if that bullet hit you and not ya brother. Do ya think he'd prefer to lose one of his sons over another one?"

"That's not what I mean! Pa could never choose between us. You just… you don't understand how it is."

"Try me." Tiny found himself almost smiling as he remembered saying the same thing to Joe.

"Pa loves us all. I know that. But Joe? There's something about Joe and Pa that's just different. Joe's given him the most grey hairs, there's no arguing that … but there's a way that Pa looks at Joe sometimes and … I just can't describe it. And Joe? Joe needs Pa the most. Not because he's the youngest, but … I can't even really explain it. It just is. I see it … and I don't always understand it …. and I'm okay with it. If anybody took that from Pa, I don't know that he'd ever recover."

"It's a hard thing for a father to lose a son." Tiny stared at the ground as he spoke and Adam felt a chill wash over him. He waited, as if expecting there was more to the comment.

"Don't ya think ya pa might be beatin' himself up to see his son almost die? Feelin' the same guilt that you're carryin'?"

Adam conceded that his father would be doing just that and he frowned at how perceptive the man was.

"And that other brother o' yours? He'd be carryin' a weight of guilt too, I 'spect."

As Adam nodded at him, Tiny smiled back. "Now tell me, just how much is all that there guilt gonna help that little brother o' yours get himself back on his feet?"

"It won't."

"Darn sure it won't. Now just for the record, I thought I was protectin' him and I walked him right back into a trap. So you don't hold the bag on all the guilt here, boy."

"What do you mean, you walked him into a trap?"

"That boy was at my home last night. Told him you was here and I didn't know if you was who ya said ya was or some kinda bounty hunter. I told him ta follow behind me. Take a look at ya and see for himself. He told me them two fellas was after his brothers and I figured he was just runnin' scared. Turns out the kid knew what he was talkin' about and I got it all wrong."

Adam licked at his lip as he considered the man leaning on the rail next to him. He had only gotten glimpses of the story, but he knew he owed the man a debt of gratitude, not condemnation.

"From what I can see, I'm thankful my brother found you and your wife. Seems we both need to ditch the guilt!"

"Maybe ya right there, boy. That young brother o' yours told me enough that I know already what kinda family ya are. Now you get on back up there and leave ya useless guilt down here where it belongs. You keep that boy from slippin' away. You hold onto him and don't let him go! And when he wakes up, you take him on home and keep on doin' whatever ya was doin' before."

"Yes, sir. On one condition." Adam smiled as he felt the weight of Tiny's hand on his shoulder.

"What's that?"

"You leave the guilt down here too." He pulled himself up a little straighter and looked at the man again. "He got to you too, didn't he?"

"Dunno what ya talkin' about!"

"Of course you don't," Adam chuckled as he walked away.

Long after Adam had walked back inside, Tiny stayed put, his thoughts many years back from where he stood now. Guilt was something he'd come to terms with before. The small boy he had buried in the town cemetery still lived on in his dreams and one day he knew he'd see his boy again. Until then, he would just have to make the best of things. He brushed a stray tear from his face as he considered the son who still drifted in a sea of uncertainty and he offered up a silent prayer that another father would not feel his pain this night.


Sometime in the early dawn light, two riders appeared on the edge of town. Hoss pushed his exhausted horse the last mile or so towards the hotel and felt a mixture of relief and fear as he dismounted and hitched his horse to the rail. It had been a long and lonely ride, but he prayed that the man with him would still be needed. He tossed that thought around and decided that he hoped the man would not be needed and he finally decided his mind was too tired to think straight and he didn't know what he hoped for.

A light still shone in the window above and he took that as a good sign. By the time he nudged open the door to the hotel room, he wasn't surprised at what he saw. His father was sitting on the edge of the bed, wiping a damp cloth over Joe's face and Adam was sprawled out asleep in a chair. Tiny had disappeared and Annie seemed to have known he was on his way up. She pulled the door fully open and held a finger to her lips.

"Don't wake him. He only fell asleep half an hour ago."

Ben turned back to acknowledge his son's return and smiled as Hoss rushed over.

"How's he doin', Pa?"

"He hasn't woken up yet."

The stranger dropped a small black bag on the side table and began to pull out the things he required. "I'm Doctor Morris. Your son is quite persuasive when he chooses to be, Mister Cartwright." The doctor's clipped tone showed he was not entirely ready and willing to travel out into the night to see this particular patient, but Ben decided he didn't care what Hoss had needed to do to convince him. He just cared that a real doctor was there to see to his son's needs.

The doctor peeled back the edge of the blanket and nodded as Ben helped him to roll Joe onto his side so he could reach the wound on his back. When he didn't so much as twitch with the movement, Hoss felt his stomach beginning to flip wildly. The movement should have been painful. It should have brought forth a groan or a reaction of some kind. When Joe remained silent and still, he felt his fear rising.

"Pa?"

Ben moved over to grip his arm, reading his own fear reflected on his son's face. Neither of them spoke as the doctor continued his examination by edging back the bloodied bandages. He pulled away the thick wad of blood-soaked material and frowned at what he saw. The wound was not stitched and it still oozed blood. The bottle of whiskey still sat on the nightstand and he turned back towards the two men.

"I need to clean and redress this. Get me some fresh bandages and then come and help me hold him down."

It didn't need to be said that it was going to hurt. As father and son positioned themselves on either side of the bed, the doctor went to work. Hoss swallowed down a lump of fear as Joe still didn't react despite the doctor's prodding at the wound. He'd have given anything for Joe to shout at him or swing a punch his way, but his little brother was deathly quiet and far too still.

By the time the doctor had finished, Adam was once again fully awake and standing right behind his father.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's lost a lot of blood and that wound has been bleeding even after you removed the bullet. I've cleaned it and stitched it, but his body is in distress."

"So wadda we do about it?" Hoss would have moved mountains if need be, but he clenched his fists together, feeling totally helpless.

"We don't do anything. Except wait."

Ben grasped at Hoss' shoulder as he stepped forward menacingly.

"I brought you all the way here and all you're gonna do is wait!"

Doctor Morris sighed as he snapped his bag closed. "I'm sorry, but there are no magic cures. Given enough time his body can heal itself and he will pull through. Or he won't. You need to keep him warm. Try to get fluids into him if you can. And pray."

The doctor reached a hand out and placed it on Ben's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mister Cartwright. I don't mean to sound unfeeling, but I don't believe in holding out false hope. Your son is in God's hands. I truly wish there was more I could say or do, but only time will tell."

"Doctor, tell me something. If we had left the bullet in him and waited for you, would it have made a difference?"

The doctor saw a father's anguish and he smiled grimly. "You did the right thing. If you'd left it in there, he still would have been bleeding and he'd have an infection to fight off as well. You gave him a fighting chance."

Ben felt his knees giving out and he slid down onto the bed and once again grasped hold of his son's lifeless hand. He didn't hear as the doctor made his way out again or that Annie had arrived back with her husband in tow. He just heard the feather-light breaths that told him son was still alive.

"Don't worry, Pa. A wise man told me to hold onto Joe and not let him go. He isn't going anywhere."

"That's right, Pa. Little Joe's gonna be just fine!" Hoss crossed his arms and squared off to his brother as if daring anybody to object. Adam just nodded in confirmation. "He don't have a choice! He can't argue with all of us."

"Have you met our little brother? He could argue the hind leg off of a donkey!"

"Well then we'd better find a donkey for him to argue with, hadn't we."

As the conversation flowed on with both brothers trying to lighten the room, Ben barely heard them. He was grateful for the effort, but he could not shake the fear that had taken hold of him.

You did the right thing.

Nothing he had done in recent days felt like the right thing. If he had been so right, he would not be sitting by a bed praying for his son to live.