There will be some more descriptive violence in this one. Look, Carmilla sometimes literally gets her hands dirty. She's a vampire. Also I know nothing about Latin. If it's wrong, please blame Google translate and my lack of education.
Disclaimer: If someone could sign me the rights to make a Carmilla TV show after the webseries ends that'd be grand, but alas. ALAS.
Three Years Prior
"Is the circle done yet?" Carmilla barked, pacing back and forth among the shelves.
"Not yet. I'm trying to get it perfect. We only have one shot." LaF replied, wiping their brow as they took a moment before slathering more goat blood along the floor. Luckily the Zetas seemed to have a lot of goats on hand.
"Well hurry up. J.P. could be running through that doorway any minute." Carmilla growled.
"Trust me, I know." LaF grumbled, getting back to work. Carmilla turned to Mattie, who was leaning against the wall.
"Are you sure Mother will come?" Carmilla asked.
"She's been very frustrated with the whereabouts of the library. I'm sure as soon as she sees your virtual Frankenstein running across campus, she'll follow." Mattie assured her. "Although she'll probably send the young leech in first, suspecting a trap."
"I'll get her." Carmilla stated, cracking her knuckles.
"H-hey! What can I do to help?" Kirsch cried out from his cot. Carmilla pointed at him.
"You stay out of the way. You're not much help right now, Black Beard." Carmilla snapped. For a moment Kirsch looked offended, and then he thoughtfully stroked his own chin.
"Carmilla, I think it's ready." LaF announced.
"Great. Go sit in the back until this is over." Carmilla ordered.
"Hey. I'm able bodied. I can help. And Perry's my friend. I want to see this through." LaF argued.
"You're a liability right now. We can't have this mess up. Go wait in the back." Carmilla repeated. LaF scowled, but did as they were told. Carmilla continued her frantic pacing.
"Carm." Laura called out meekly.
"Mattie, get me the locket." Carmilla demanded, not hearing Laura immediately.
"Carm…"
"And… and the dagger. We have to be ready. We have-"
"Carm!" Laura shouted, making Carmilla stop in her tracks. She turned towards Laura, who was kneeling in her own small circle drawn of goat's blood and surrounded by candles and other mystical ingredients. She looked on sadly. "Can you just… come sit with me for a second?"
Carmilla sighed, walking over and sitting as close to Laura as she could without ruining the circle. She closed her eyes for a moment, swallowing back her emotions before opening her eyes to look into Laura's.
"How you doing, creampuff?" Carmilla asked. Laura fidgeted slightly.
"I don't know how to answer that. I just kind of feel… numb, which probably isn't good." Laura mumbled. Carmilla reached out, cupping her cheek.
"Hey, you're a real Gryffindor you know that?" Carmilla murmured, and Laura gave a half smile.
"Hufflepuff." She affirmed.
"Whatever you say, Cupcake." Carmilla nodded. "After tonight… this will all be over. Finally."
"I might be over, too." Laura muttered.
"Hey. Don't say that. It'll work." Carmilla stated firmly, but softened quickly. "You sure you want to go through with this? It might be… an adjustment."
Laura looked away, and Carmilla could see her eyes getting glassy. "I don't want to die, Carm."
"I know." Carmilla ran a hand through Laura's hair. "I know."
"Carm… if this all works out… can we… can we try again?" Laura bit her lip. Carmilla studied her slowly.
"Of course." Carmilla whispered. Laura's face twisted, the emotions finally breaking through whatever dam she had built up inside.
"I want you to do it." Laura requested. "I want you to take my heart."
Carmilla paused, eyes wide. "Laura… Mattie would be much more precise than I am."
"I don't care. It has to be you. Please." Laura pleaded, and Carmilla shook her head.
"I don't trust myself-"
"I trust you!" Laura croaked. "You're the only one I'd ever trust with my heart this way. You're the only one. It has to be you."
"It would probably be better if I took on the cub instead, darling. They aren't expecting me to help you." Mattie chimed in. Carmilla looked down, taking in as much air in her lungs as she possibly could – an act that doesn't do much for her anyway.
"Okay. Whatever you want." Carmilla nodded.
"Thank you." Laura whimpered, a tear rolling down her cheek. She reached forward, pulling Carmilla close and touching their lips tenderly together. Carmilla's eyes fluttered shut, practically drinking Laura in. Her scent, the feel of her skin, the way Laura's hand tangled in her hair as she deepened the kiss. Carmilla bit down gently on Laura's lower lip, as she usually did, which initiated a gasp riddled with sorrow and longing from Laura. Neither of them wanted the seconds to tick by, leading to what would happen next. They just wanted to stay like this.
"Sorry to interrupt." Mattie crouched beside them, forcing them to pull away. She was holding a dagger and a small, pentagon shaped locket with a black pearl in the middle. "It's time. I sense her approach."
Carmilla bit her own lip and nodded slowly, taking the instruments.
"Okay. Be ready." Carmilla muttered. Mattie simply squeezed Carmilla's shoulder, walking back to the entrance. She looked back at Laura, whose face had hardened with determination.
"This is it." Laura gulped.
"Yeah." Carmilla forced a smirk. "Who knew when I walked in as your roommate, we'd end up here?"
"None of this turned out like I expected." Laura sighed.
"No time for idled chit chat, darlings!" Mattie hissed. Carmilla swallowed hard, reaching out towards Laura's chest, but Laura grabbed her wrist.
"Carmilla." Laura blurted out. "…You know."
"Yeah. I know." Carmilla cooed. "Ready? Three-"
"It has to be now!" Mattie barked. Carmilla growled, frustrated.
"See you on the other side." Carmilla mumbled, refusing to meet Laura's eyes. "Animam eripi, renascitur iterum."
It was a blur after thrusting her hand through Laura's chest, feeling the warm squish between her fingers. She watched Laura's mouth hang open, the light starting to leave her eyes.
"Now, darling!" Mattie shouted, having already knocked out Danny. J.P. was slumped against a wall, looking bloody. Carmilla let out a cry, tears streaming down her face as she sliced off a piece of Laura's heart and tossed the rest to Mattie. "The dagger!"
"Just a moment." Carmilla glowered, quickly placing the flesh in the locket and slicing her hand, dripping it over the piece of heart and locket. "Mea vita tua fit fons. Corpus, hoc remanet in aeternum."
She tossed the dagger behind her just as the locket slammed shut. It vibrated a moment, and then Carmilla experienced the most excruciating pain of her life as it felt as if her soul was being torn apart.
Someone behind her screamed, mixing with her own.
The last thing Carmilla saw before passing out was the black, smoky figure of a panther leaving her body and being absorbed by the locket. Then she hit the floor.
It must've been only a minute before she gained her bearings again. She felt weak, and could feel the blood dripping from her nose. She crawled slowly to Laura's body, not paying attention to any of the commotion behind her.
"Laura." Carmilla rasped, hovering over her. "Laura. Please. Stay with me. Please stay with me. Don't be dead. Please, don't be dead." She started to sob, not seeing Laura open her eyes.
But wait. Her chest. Through the blood, she could see it moving slightly. She was breathing.
Carmilla reached over, grasping the locket in her hand. She felt it pulse, ever so slightly.
"Laura." Carmilla blubbered, stroking Laura's face. "Laura, we did it. You hear me? We did it. We did it…"
It was now that she became aware of another voice behind her.
"Perry? Perry, what the hell?! What's happened to Perry!?" LaF cried out, having run in from the back.
"There's nothing you can do, dear." Mattie panted, looking exhausted herself, slumped next to Laura's heart pinned to the ground by the dagger. LaF shook slightly, holding Perry in their arms.
Perry's head hung back, looking at Carmilla with lifeless eyes.
Present Day
"I was possessed by the Dean at one time. That doesn't mean I have all her past knowledge." Laura shivers, trying to keep the car steady at the thought.
"Don't remind me. Nothing more awkward than the girl you're into and your bitch of a Mother being the same person." Carmilla groans, resting her hand on her fist as she gazes out the window at the scenery rushing by. "Besides, it's not the same. Mother used the necklace to control you from an outside source. She actually inhabited Rachael Ray for who knows how long. And since we didn't… properly extract her completely…"
"Yeah. That." Laura frowns. "I just really don't want to visit her… LaF specifically doesn't want us visiting her."
"Well we need information and since J.P. is on our side and got us on the guest list, LaF will just have to deal with it." Carmilla sighs.
"I'm going to feel so guilty seeing her, let alone questioning her in her current… state." Laura mumbles.
"You had no idea that one piece of missing heart would screw up the whole ritual. None of us did." Carmilla recalls.
"I know. I just can't help but feel guilty. It's who I am. Always feeling responsible." Laura mutters. "LaF still blames me. That's why they haven't talked to us at all since then."
"To hell with LaF."
"Carmilla!"
"What? They were the ones who decided to hold a grudge and throw away a perfectly good friendship over this." Carmilla argues.
"It's not like I borrowed something and didn't give it back, Carm. Perry's been their friend since they were little." Laura pouts.
"Look, as much as think Amelia Bedelia was a little too uptight, don't you think she would have made this sacrifice to put everything to an end?" Carmilla points out.
"She didn't have a choice. That's the point." Laura bites her lip. Carmilla sighs, reaching over to take Laura's hand.
"Well today we can finally apologize for how we affected her life. It might not mean much, but it's something." Carmilla muses. It's quiet for a moment before Laura releases a giggle. Carmilla raises her eyebrow. "I fail to see the humour."
"No, it's not funny, it's just… I love picturing how past Carmilla would react to how nice you've become." Laura smirks, and Carmilla groans.
"Present me isn't too fond of it either. I blame you." Carmilla grumbles.
"That is something I will proudly take full credit for." Laura grins, but after a while her mouth falls once again. "It could've been me, you know? She could've jumped into my body after I pushed that big rock on her. I could've been where Perry is now."
"She never would've jumped into your body. She knew my infatuation with you. I would've noticed right away and exorcised her out before she gained full control. The only reason she got away with squatting in Curly Q for so long is because my attention was… elsewhere." Carmilla glances over at Laura. "I suppose I could be blamed for that. Hell, she was LaF's best friend and maybe they would've noticed had they not been so preoccupied with their experimental boyfriend. We could all say we had some hand in what happened to her, but that's wasted energy. The true culprit is my Mother, and you sacrificed yourself to get her out of Perry, who was probably experiencing a lot of suffering. Don't forget that."
"Thanks, Carm." Laura murmurs, squeezing her hand.
"And now she can play her part to help possibly save the world again." Carmilla nods, and Laura grips the steering wheel as she sees the mental institution come into view.
"I just hope she's up for it. That we're not bothering her for nothing."
When they get out of the car, Carmilla surveys the area carefully, a habit she's decided to pick up. When she's satisfied that nobody was watching them or had followed them, they both pull up their hoods and head into the facility.
Casually being in hiding is exhausting.
"Hi. We're here to see Lola Perry?" Laura requests to the grumpy-looking receptionist. She would think the employees here should be a little… sunnier. But who knows? Maybe she was just having a bad day.
"Names." The receptionist drones.
"Laura Hollis and Carmilla Karnstein." Laura gave enthusiastically. Maybe it was silly to give their real names at this point, but Perry had to give some indication that she would accept their company, and they might not get that under different aliases.
"Wait here, please." The receptionist yawns, shutting the window and shuffling off. Laura looks around, trying to keep it together, but her aggressively chewing on her lip and the slight tremble in her hands gave her away.
"Hey, Cupcake. It'll be fine." Carmilla assures her.
"I hope so." Laura sighs. A few minutes later, the receptionist returns with two visitor passes.
"Lola will see you now, but in her room rather than the public lounge area. She doesn't like to… mingle with the other patients." The receptionist rolls her eyes, locking the door. "A nurse will take you there."
"Thank you! Have a great day!" Laura beams, receiving an unimpressed stare from the receptionist in response. Carmilla, however, gave the receptionist a wink, and a rosy colour filled her cheeks for a moment.
"You have an hour, or however long Lola wants to see you. I'll be right outside." The nurse explains.
They enter the room, and the first thing they see is that familiar, curly red hair attached to a woman frantically wiping a window sill.
"Perry?" Laura questions.
"Dust. Dirty, dirty. Must clean. Remove it all. So dirty. Scum." Perry mutters under her breath. Carmilla and Laura glance between each other.
"Hey. Martha Stewart. We came to talk to you." Carmilla calls out. Perry pauses for a moment, then continues to sweep across the window.
"So much scuff. Glare. Can't see. Can't see. Not good. No, no. Can't have that, no." Perry continues. Laura clutches her hands near her chest, looking at her old friend.
"Perry… we're sorry we haven't visited. LaF told us not to and… well, it doesn't matter. We're sorry. About everything." Laura expresses. Perry stops, and turns around. Her eyes are wide, unblinking.
"All clean now. The light can come through. Good light." Perry paces over to them. "Light and dark merges. Beauty in the grey. Must be kept safe. Must be."
"…What?" Laura blinks, looking over at Carmilla.
"Don't look at me, cutie. I have no idea either." Carmilla shrugs. Laura sighs, looking back at Perry.
"Perry, we need help. Something… bad is going on. Again." Laura says slowly. Perry tilts her head, and then she starts shaking.
"No. No, no, no, no, NO! Clean. Must wipe it all away." Perry glides away to a cabinet and pulls out a bottle of some sort of cleaning agent, and starts spraying it on the wall.
"They let a patient keep this many chemicals? Ugh, no wonder it smells like bleach." Carmilla grimaces.
"It's Perry. Obviously it's a coping mechanism or something." Laura observes, walking over to Perry who is now furiously scrubbing the wall. "Hey, Perry, it's okay. We're going to… clean away all the bad. But we need your help."
Perry stops, looking at Laura over her shoulder. She puts the cleaning products down and walks to her bed, sitting down. "Make it all go away. But not all there. Not all there. Nothing to do. Nothing."
"We just want to ask you some questions. Is that okay?" Laura inquires tentatively. Perry looks up at her with an expression that reminded Laura of the night they decided to follow LaF to the Lustig Building.
"It must all be purged." Perry says plainly.
"I… think that's a yes?" Carmilla suggests.
"Um, okay. Great. Uh…" Laura pauses, really hoping Perry doesn't freak out. "Perr, can you recall anything about something called Crypt?"
Perry's eyes close for a moment. She takes a deep breath.
"Dark shepherds. They grow weary. They grow hazardous. Treachery abound." Perry breathes.
"…You know, I'm getting really tired of each sentence coming out like a Sudoku puzzle." Carmilla miffs.
"Shh!" Laura warns, kneeling down by Perry. "What are they a hazard to?"
"Those that walk outside the shadows. The shadow is to overtake the light. Not good. Must be stopped." Perry rambles.
"Okay, what the flipping hell." Carmilla groans.
"No, I think I get it." Laura nods. "They want to get rid of humans, is that what you're saying?"
"They want to break from the coil that bounds them to the cycle. Life and death. No order. The shadow will reign." Perry looks at Carmilla. "Those that feed from life will not escape the threat."
Carmilla's eyes widen. "If Crypt destroys humanity, vampires will lose their food source. We'll waste away. That's why Mother was so afraid of them."
"Must counteract." Perry nods. "Must clean away."
"Perry, how do we do that? How do we… clean them?" Laura asks. Perry stares at them for a moment, and then she breaks into an abnormally large smile.
And then she bursts into laughter. Loud, hysterical laughter.
"Well, this took a turn." Carmilla flinches.
"What's wrong with her? Perry?!" Laura reaches out for her, but the nurse bursts the door open.
"Sorry, you two will have to go." She says sternly.
"But," Laura looks over at Perry, who has doubled over and clutching her stomach from being overcome with her cackles.
"Now." The nurse orders.
"Come on, creampuff." Carmilla shuffles Laura out. Laura gives one more sad glance behind her before the Perry's strained voice is cut off by the door slamming shut.
"Well, at least now you know that if journalism doesn't work out, you can start a career as a comedian." Carmilla gibes, ushering Laura into the apartment.
"That's not funny." Laura frowns.
"You would know. You're the comedian." Carmilla shrugs. Laura rolls her eyes, dropping on the couch with frustration.
"So, what did we learn before Perry lost her cool?" Laura asks.
"That little orphan Annie still has a fixation on cleaning, Mother certainly did a number on her mind, and something is trying to wipe out humanity." Carmilla lists off. "And, consequently, my species."
"And we still have no idea what that something is." Laura's hands flap in the air, and she sinks down further into the couch. "So basically, we're still stuck at square one."
Carmilla puts an arm around Laura gently, pulling her close. "Well, let's brainstorm. Why do you think this something is running around stealing limbs and blowing people up into neon goo?"
"I… I don't know. Perry said something about them trying to break from the cycle, or something." Laura mutters, clutching her head. "Augh, I don't know! It could be anything!"
"Careful, cutie. You're still injured." Carmilla cautions.
"Well, actually, not really. It's been a few days." Without hesitating, Laura yanks her shirt off. "I don't even need the bandages anymore. Look."
Carmilla certainly looks. And then she's hit in the head with a throw pillow.
"Perv. You have a bit of drool in the corner of your mouth." Laura giggles.
"Sorry, sweetheart. Not much I can do to help where my mind wanders off to when you invite me to look at your chest." Carmilla sighs, letting her finger run along Laura's skin just above her bra, right around where there are two red marks where her bullet wounds used to be. They probably won't even scar, unlike a certain other area of Laura's chest. Carmilla slides her finger to that spot over where Laura's heart used to be, where the skin has scarred into a ridged diamond shape – the spot Carmilla had reached her hand into her chest.
Laura shivers under her touch.
"I… guess I can't blame you. It's been a while." Laura murmurs, letting Carmilla kiss along her jaw.
"Mmm. Not since before you got shot." Carmilla recalls, trailing the kisses down Laura's neck. Laura's eyes flutter shut and she lets out a soft sigh.
"So… like a week… wow." Laura breathes.
"We can rectify that." Carmilla sucks on a sensitive part of Laura's skin, imagining biting down – though she'd never do so without Laura asking her first. Well, not since she used Laura as a juice box at Silas.
"I do have a lot to get off my mind." Laura groans, her fingers digging into Carmilla's shoulders.
"I can certainly come up with some… distractions." Carmilla's hands trail up Laura's sides, dancing over her ribs. Laura lets out a grunt of frustration and pushes back just to release her skin from her bra. Carmilla stops, blinking for a moment and taking her in because damn, it never gets old.
"What the hell are you waiting for?" Laura huffs, and Carmilla grins, picking Laura up and somehow manages to kiss her and walk to the bedroom at the same time.
Several hot, sweaty, and exhausting moments later, Carmilla and Laura are sprawled out on the bed together. Laura has her head on Carmilla's chest near the locket, and she listens to her own heartbeat. It's fast, and all for Carmilla.
Carmilla leaves a soft kiss on Laura's head, and Laura looks up at her. Her face is the picture of being completely content. Eyes closed and a soft, peaceful smile. She's also the picture of beauty.
"Hey." Laura whispers. Carmilla's eyes open and she looks back down at Laura, seeing her bright eyes staring back. Carmilla will never understand how she possibly gained enough favour with any deity to deserve the woman in her arms right now, but she thanks her lucky stars every day that Laura was placed in her life.
"Hey." Carmilla coos. Laura reaches up, brushing one of Carmilla's bangs to the side. "Feeling better?"
"You make a very good distraction." Laura mumbles, leaving a couple kisses on Carmilla's chest. Carmilla purrs, her eyes closing again.
"It's what I'm here for, cutie." Carmilla sighs, pulling Laura close.
"I wish we could always be like this." Laura breathes.
"Mmm."
Laura bites her lip, knowing she's about to ruin it by talking about feelings.
"I've noticed we've been arguing a lot lately. I don't want to argue with you." Laura mutters, and once again Carmilla's eyes pop open.
"Laura, we've both been under a bit of stress lately." Carmilla reasons.
"Yeah, but, I want us to be able to work things through civilly even when we're stressed. We work great when we're relaxed and just living a day-to-day normal life. But I want us to be able to cope with stress together better than we did last time. Last time we ended up breaking up. I really, really never want that to happen again." Laura explains.
"I'm trying." Carmilla states, and Laura nods.
"No, I know. It's partly my fault, too. I've had a short fuse. I'm sorry." Laura explains. "But… I still feel like part of our problem is, you know, not having open lines of communication."
Carmilla leans up a little bit. "We've already had this discussion. I thought we were good in that department."
"We're a lot better, totally. I've gotten better at listening, and you've gotten better at expressing yourself. But…" Laura chews on her lip. "I… I know about your panther. What you had to do."
Carmilla falls silent, and Laura swears she can hear her heart pounding inside the locket.
"I knew it. Mattie told you." Carmilla finally grumbles.
"Yes. And I'm glad she did. I had no idea to what degree what you gave up to keep me alive. I just wish you had told me." Laura expresses sadly. Carmilla sits up quickly, and for a moment Laura is afraid they're about to start one of the arguments she had been dreading.
"Maybe I didn't bring it up because it wasn't a big deal. When Mattie told me I would have to give up my panther, I didn't even bat an eye. It seemed like a small price for a chance that you'd stay alive." Carmilla turns her head, a pop resonating from a stiff muscle. Laura places a hand gently on Carmilla's shoulder.
"Of course it was a big deal. You lost a lot of your strength, and Mattie told me you're going to be looked down on by other vampires now…" Laura mumbles.
"You really think I care about other vampires?" Carmilla scoffs. "I already told you. I'd much rather hang out on the human side of the spectrum. Mattie is really the only other vampire company I need. My place is with you. To hell with those elitist bloodsuckers with an affinity for a glorified petting zoo." Carmilla growls. "As for the power, yeah, I miss that. But I didn't think I'd need it again."
"And now you do, and it's my fault." Laura frowns. "Now you're so much more vulnerable-"
"Hey, you don't have to worry about me." Carmilla cups Laura's cheek. "Just because I'm lacking some bigger teeth and claws doesn't mean I don't know how to fight. I'll kick any shithead that gets in our way right in the face. Panther or not. Promise."
Laura thinks for a moment, her hand absentmindedly travelling along Carmilla's waist.
"If it wasn't such a big deal, why did you go out of your way to keep it from me? I've made tons of references to your giant black cat form. You could've told me every time, but you didn't. I had to hear it from Mattie. Why?" Laura questions softly. Carmilla bows her head, her teeth grinding while she thinks.
"I didn't want to give you an excuse to regret being alive." Carmilla admits in a small voice. "I didn't want you to have a reason to resent me for it."
"Carm, how could you think I'd ever resent you?" Laura's brow furrows in confusion. Carmilla shrugs, looking away. "See, you need to stop this. You not telling me about you panther, about Mattie coming to visit, about the Dean's apartment, about her possessing me and taking Kirsch… this has been a reoccurring thing. It needs to stop."
"You said it yourself. Last time we were under stress, we ended up breaking up. I don't want to have to handle that. Not again." Carmilla mutters. "I just, I figured the longer I can avoid conflict, the longer this will last."
"Carmilla, damnit, never feel like you can't tell me things. I'm not going anywhere. I swear." Laura promises. "You ripped a guy's throat out the other day and I'm still here. Obviously I had to do some adjusting to dating a vampire, but it's just part of working to make us click. So, please, never feel afraid to confide in me. About anything. I can take whatever you've got."
"I know. You're strong… for a human." Carmilla rolls her eyes.
"An invincible human." Laura points out with a laugh. Carmilla smirks, pulling her in.
"I'll work on it." Carmilla purrs, kissing Laura softly.
"Good." Laura mumbles against her lips. "So, anything interesting to tell me?"
Carmilla waits for a moment, thinking.
"In the 1970's I took in a stray cat that I named Fluffybuns." Carmilla states. Laura's mouth pops open.
"No, you did not." Laura accuses.
"Mhm. I did. I loved that cat. And now I'm certain I've lost all my badass points. Still love me?" Carmilla smirks.
"Screw you." Laura shoves Carmilla lightly. "I'm supposed to be the adorable one of this relationship. How dare you take that away from me?"
"I suppose you'll just have to pick up my slack." Carmilla tease. Laura gets a devilish look in her eye, and throws one leg over Carmilla.
"How's this?" Laura purrs, dipping down to press against Carmilla and give her a dip kiss.
"Mmm. S'great." Carmilla moans into Laura's mouth. Laura pulls back, just for a second.
"And yes, I still love you." She grins, dipping back down to continue into what they're certain will be more hot and sweaty moments…
And then there's a knock at the door.
"God damnit." Carmilla flops down. "We were doing so well."
"I'll get rid of them, whoever they are." Laura assures her, giving her a peck on the lips. She leaps off the bed and pulls on an extra-large t-shirt that might as well be a dress.
"Hurry back." Carmilla calls out with a sultry tinge to her voice. Laura blushes, rushing to the door rehearsing the 'sorry, not right now, can you come back later?' in her head.
At least, until she opens the door and sees the person standing there with their hair matching the red hue of their face. Laura gapes at their furious expression.
"Laura Hollis. I have a bone to pick with you." LaFontaine glowers. "Why the hell did you go see Perry!?"
Author's Notes: Probably their most dangerous obstacle yet - angry LaF! Dun dun dun. In other news, we might be... halfway done this? Maybe? I honestly have no idea. I'm just going to guess halfway.
