DISCLAIMER: .od ohw sietrap suoirav eht htiw detailiffa yaw on ni ma dna nomekoP now ton od I
DISCLAIMER #2: .rtepahc suoiverp eeS
Ash was upstairs, sorting through a hallway closet. He was trying to find a towel for May to dry herself with, but, unfortunately, Delia had deemed it necessary to only purchase ones that she considered 'cute'; meaning they had to be either pink or violet colored, have a picture of a Luvdisc, and bear a message along the lines of "Mommy Loves You" or "You'll always be my little baby". Mortified at the prospect of handing May one of those, he continued his fruitless search to find a non-humiliating towel.
He was so engrossed in tearing apart the closet that he didn't hear his mother greet a rather unexpected (and uninvited) guest.
By now, the sun was setting, and Sceptile, Noctowl, and Staraptor had finally finished their debate on the best Age of Empires II civilization with the grudging compromise that in the hands of an experienced player, any of the in-game civs could be used with devastating results.
Now, the trio was staring through the windows of the house with wide eyes, trying to discern what was going on inside.
"(I don't recall Drew being so scrawny,)" observed Sceptile. "(Look at him! How can he get around? It seems like a gentle breeze would send him tumbling away.)"
"(Maybe he is doing what humans call 'dieting',)" said Noctowl. "(Apparently, you are supposed to eat only minimal food for a week or two. Supposedly, it makes you more appealing to potential mates.)"
"(How does starving yourself make you more attractive?)" asked Staraptor, confused. "(And even if you did become more appealing to potential mates, you wouldn't have much energy, right? How are you supposed to… you know… get funky when you have no energy?)"
Finally, Ash discovered a plain white towel at the back of the closet, underneath a pile of disused blankets. Deciding to tidy up the mess he made later, he set off down the stairs, only to pause halfway down when he heard the conversation going on in the living room. He crept silently down the rest of the way, and surreptitiously stuck his head around the corner.
"What are you doing here, Drew? You better not be trying to start something," said Richie, arms crossed.
"Don't worry. I'm not here to crash Ketchum's precious little victory party," Drew replied, spitting out the last two words as if they were poisonous. "All I want to do is talk to May. Alone," placing extra emphasis on 'alone'.
Ash's heart nearly stopped right there. "All the nightmares, they're all going to come true!" he thought, feeling a little nauseous. "But maybe it will May will refuse. Maybe she will-"
May stepped forward. She was still soaked from the earlier episode with the fruit punch, but she was smiling. "Of course, Drew. I'd be happy to," she said warmly, and she followed Drew outside.
Ash's stomach felt even worse. "Hell and damnation," he thought sourly. He had hoped that May would've walked up to Drew and punched him square in the face.
May and Drew stood at the foot of the house's driveway, talking quietly as they looked off into the sunset. They didn't notice the three shadows in the bushes across the road.
"This sunset is so beautiful, May," said Drew as he turned towards her. "Just like you." This made May blush, and the three spies groan.
"(Oh, please. Not this cliché romantic crap!)" complained Sceptile.
"(I must say, humans do need some more creative ways to compliment members of the opposite sex. They should try using reverse psychology,)" said Noctowl.
"(Yeah, I'm sure everybody would just love to be called a pile of dung,)" said Sceptile sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.
"May, I was wondering. Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?" asked Drew in the most seductive voice he could manage. This caused May to blush even deeper, but it also caused the trio spying on them to nearly burst into laughter at his voice's similarity to Brock's 'romantic' tone.
"I would love to." She didn't hear the three gasps from the opposite side of the road.
For a moment, all three companions were completely still, staring slack-jawed at May, trying to prove to themselves that May hadn't said yes.
"(Did… did she… did she say yes?)" asked an astounded Staraptor.
"(I… I think so…)" answered an equally-astounded Noctowl.
Sceptile stayed silent, but it was clear that he was just as amazed as his companions were.
"I'll pick you up from your hotel at 7 o' clock tomorrow evening," said Drew as he pulled a rose out of what appeared to be out of thin air, and then handed it May.
"Yeah… see you tomorrow," she said dreamily as Drew walked down the road.
The mood of the trio had changed from astonishment to revulsion.
"(How does he know what hotel May is staying at?)" asked Noctowl.
"(Obvious, isn't it? He's a creeper,)" answered Sceptile matter-of-factually. "(I don't get what May sees in him.)"
"(Forget about that!)" said Staraptor. "(Did he just pull that rose out of his pants?!)"
"(I hope not, for his sake. Those thorns, right next to his… ouch,)" said Noctowl, who shuddered at the thought.
"(Well, at least he'll have to take it slow with May,)" Staraptor joked.
"(You know, you are becoming more and more like Floatzel every day,)" commented Noctowl.
"(What?! Me, like Floatzel?! You're kidding, right?!)"
Noctowl and Sceptile only shook their heads sadly as Staraptor began to go into denial.
May walked back to the house with a huge smile on her face, trying to contain her excitement. But once she finally got inside, she couldn't contain herself any longer.
"Drew asked me to go on a date!" she squealed excitedly. A few people managed to congratulate her before Misty and Dawn pulled her into a quiet corner to talk about what to wear, how to do her hair, etc.
Meanwhile, Ash's nausea had gotten a lot worse upon hearing May's news. He staggered slowly up the stairs, and managed to make it to his room without vomiting. He collapsed onto his bed.
Sceptile, Noctowl, and Staraptor were hastily heading back to Professor Oak's lab. When they finally got there, they were relieved to see that the party was over, with most of the Pokemon passed out and the boom box's batteries dead. They made their way over to a sleeping Floatzel, who was hugging the now-empty beer keg like it was a teddy bear. Staraptor delivered him a swift slap across the face with a wing.
"(I'M NOT HIGH!)" he shouted hoarsely as he leapt up. It took him another second to become fully awake. "(Oh, it's just the three party-poopers. What do you want?)"
"(We just came to deliver some news,)" said Noctowl calmly. "(But what do you mean by 'I'm not high'?")
"(Err… nothing. Nothing at all.)" Floatzel gave a nervous laugh. "(Nothing like that happened at this party.)"
"('This party'?)" repeated Noctowl, arching an eyebrow.
"(Look, did you come to lecture me on my personal habits or are you going to tell me the news?)" he asked, indignant.
"(Fine, we'll tell you. But you won't like it.)"
